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They advanced the PLOT?! Warhammer 40k casual lore

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Posts

  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    Karl wrote: »
    The Emperor should have fully explained to Magnus and Lorgar what was up.

    That would have solved most of the issues.

    see the thing is, burning lorgars city to the ground after he worshiped the emperor for a century was good because lorgar was a giant whiny pissbaby that nobody liked

    magnus was almost as big an idiot as the emp, and him destroying the warding around the imperial webway did more damage than the entirety of the heresy combined

    H3KnucklesDyvim Tvar
  • TransporterTransporter Registered User regular
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    Karl wrote: »
    The Emperor should have fully explained to Magnus and Lorgar what was up.

    That would have solved most of the issues.

    see the thing is, burning lorgars city to the ground after he worshiped the emperor for a century was good because lorgar was a giant whiny pissbaby that nobody liked

    magnus was almost as big an idiot as the emp, and him destroying the warding around the imperial webway did more damage than the entirety of the heresy combined

    Why would you explain anything to a screwdriver tho?

    Extreaminatus
  • DelduwathDelduwath Registered User regular
    Delduwath wrote: »
    Karl wrote: »
    It's funny because the Emperor is despite his vast intelligence, a fucking idiot.

    '"God does not exist," says man in universe in which four separate groups of gods exist'.
    The Eldar gods, the Chaos gods, the C'tan, and who else?

    The best ones.
    Oh, I'm a dummy, I completely forgot.

  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    The Emperor should have purged the Primarchs much more aggressively, from a ruthless point of view. Several of them were an absolute liability.

    H3KnucklesDyvim Tvar
  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    Solar wrote: »
    The Emperor should have purged the Primarchs much more aggressively, from a ruthless point of view. Several of them were an absolute liability.

    Really makes you wonder what those other two Primarchs did that was a bad enough fuck up to actually have been purged from history.

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
    H3KnucklesSmurphKetBraDyvim Tvar
  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    the Emperor wore a shirt that he was nervous about, because it was outside his usual style

    they made fun of it

  • Kayne Red RobeKayne Red Robe Master of Magic ArcanusRegistered User regular
    Left the seat up on the golden throne.

    DepressperadoGnome-InterruptusSmurphAuralynxLord_AsmodeussarukunMorivethH3KnucklesstopgapironsizideDyvim Tvar
  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    shit that's way better than mine

    Kayne Red Robe
  • GvzbgulGvzbgul Registered User regular
    What was the Emperor doing during the Dark Age of Technology? It's weird that he just sits around for thousands of years.

  • SmurphSmurph Registered User regular
    Gvzbgul wrote: »
    What was the Emperor doing during the Dark Age of Technology? It's weird that he just sits around for thousands of years.

    Hiding in fear because DAOT humans/cyborgs/robots/AIs probably could have kicked his ass without much effort?

    Or saving himself because he knew the Age of Strife was coming

  • IvanIssacsIvanIssacs Skull Leader SDF-1Registered User regular
    There is too much heresy in the thread rn

  • BrainleechBrainleech Registered User regular
    The Robot truly shows off


    H3Knuckles
  • TheGerbilTheGerbil Registered User regular
    So I finally got around to paint stripping, rebasing and putting jetpacks on some of my old metal death company from 2004. They came out okay. I have a box of the newer plastic ones and they are waaaaaayyy more detailed.

    Album of 3 whole images here


    H3Knucklesvalhalla130Gnome-Interruptus
  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    The Emperor should have been much more purge-y with the Primarchs post the whole them disappearing in the warp thing

    Like, if that had been me? I'd have seen some of them and what they got up to and been like

    Nah

    Nah he has to go

    H3KnucklesDyvim Tvar
  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    If I was a ruthless motherfucker, which if I'm the Emperor, I absolutely am

    H3Knuckles
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    morty and angron get fed into the woodchipper fucking immediately

    GR_ZombieSolarKetBratzeentchlingH3Knucklesvalhalla130Dyvim Tvar
  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    Mortarian

    Angron

    Konrad probably, I would feel bad but that kid is off the rails

    Lorgar, same but the whole religious thing? Nah. Sorry homes.

    KetBraH3Knucklesvalhalla130Dyvim Tvar
  • TheGerbilTheGerbil Registered User regular
    Solar wrote: »
    Mortarian

    Angron

    Konrad probably, I would feel bad but that kid is off the rails

    Lorgar, same but the whole religious thing? Nah. Sorry homes.

    Mortarian may have been broody but there were others with far more issues than him.


    AuralynxGvzbgul
  • Mr_RoseMr_Rose 83 Blue Ridge Protects the Holy Registered User regular
    Yeah, Mortarion is middle-tier bastard son at worst, until the warp storm at least. Dude could have recovered completely with the help of a decent therapist to sort out his PTSD, Survivor’s Guilt, and Sortilegiphobia.

    ...because dragons are AWESOME! That's why.
    Nintendo Network ID: AzraelRose
    DropBox invite link - get 500MB extra free.
    tzeentchling
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    morty was sadistic and cruel from the get go, the storm and fall only made it worse

  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    He was a fucking dickbag

    And also already kind of a Nurgle guy

  • KetBraKetBra FISTS OF JUSTICE! Registered User regular
    I feel like some of these primarch names were really setting them up for a fall from the get-go.

    I dunno about you but I think I might be wondering if I was one of the baddies if I was one of the Death Guard, following around a guy called Mortarion.

    Then again, really everyone has skulls on their caps anyways, so the distinction may have been lost, somewhat.

    ohKiGmg.png
    Steam Bnet:KetBra#1692 Yo Satan
    H3Knuckles
  • DouglasDangerDouglasDanger PennsylvaniaRegistered User regular
    I don't think GW stuff is self aware or breaks the fourth wall like that

    I play games on ps3 and ps4. My PSN is DouglasDanger.
    H3KnucklesGnome-Interruptus
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    there is a primarch named angron who is really angry

    sarukunH3KnucklesSmurphDyvim Tvar
  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    I don't think GW stuff is self aware or breaks the fourth wall like that

    Possible exceptions for Caiphas though. He seems to be aware enough of the general setting to want no part in any of it, which is why it's so entertaining watching him get stuck in neck deep.

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
    H3Knucklesvalhalla130
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    there is a primarch named corvus corax who founded the raven guard

    sarukunH3KnucklesTynnanDyvim Tvar
  • DouglasDangerDouglasDanger PennsylvaniaRegistered User regular
    Right, Pip, and inside the setting, this is played completely seriously

    I play games on ps3 and ps4. My PSN is DouglasDanger.
  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    Sure, the names are all very self aware, I'd suggest bordering on satire in any other setting.
    But, they never acknowledge the self awareness of the names in the setting. Like Ferrus Manus (Literally Iron Hands) forming the Iron Hands legion because his hands were metal.
    But, that's never commented on by anyone.

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
    DouglasDangerH3Knuckles
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    warhammer 40k as a setting is an iron maiden album cover taken completely at face value

    DouglasDangerKetBrasee317Kayne Red RobesarukuntzeentchlingH3KnucklesmanwiththemachinegunLord_Asmodeusdarunia106Solarvalhalla130NorgothDoodmannSimpsoniaTynnanironsizideNartwakDyvim TvarTonkka
  • SnowbearSnowbear Registered User regular
    edited February 11
    Also imagine you're a superhuman baby carried off by the Warp from the test tube you were born in. You have no context that maybe naming yourself after your iron hands (your defining feature!) Is gauche or a bit silly. And when dad finds he gifts you 100000 slightly less superhuman soldiers who will obliterate anybody who sneers when you introduce yourself

    Snowbear on
    8EVmPzM.jpg
    Gnome-Interruptus
  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... Registered User regular
    Snowbear wrote: »
    Also imagine you're a superhuman baby carried off by the Warp from the test tube you were born in. You have no context that maybe naming yourself after your iron hands (your defining feature!) Is gauche or a bit silly. And when dad finds he gifts you 100000 slightly less superhuman soldiers who will obliterate anybody who sneers when you introduce yourself

    You had me at superhuman baby

    3ds friend code: 2036 9837 9754 Switch: 3661 4488 2896
    PSN/XBL id: Moriveth Steam: L4Mori
    IvanIssacssarukunvalhalla130DoodmannNartwakDyvim Tvar
  • SnowbearSnowbear Registered User regular
    As a normal human father I'm sure superhuman babies are as terrifying to you as they are to me

    8EVmPzM.jpg
  • GvzbgulGvzbgul Registered User regular
    Im surprised none of the primarchs havr a superman origin. There's a batman, but no superman.

  • ElaroElaro Bleeding MonumentRegistered User regular
    Gvzbgul wrote: »
    Im surprised none of the primarchs havr a superman origin. There's a batman, but no superman.

    They ALL have a superman origin...

    Oct1o4x.png
    Derp derp I'm a smurf
    GvzbgulLord_AsmodeusNartwak
  • iguanacusiguanacus Desert PlanetRegistered User regular
    It's normally hard to hide being a primarch when you literally tower over normal humans. It'd be like if Clark Kent still wore glasses but was also 10 feet tall.

    Nartwak
  • Mr_RoseMr_Rose 83 Blue Ridge Protects the Holy Registered User regular
    iguanacus wrote: »
    It's normally hard to hide being a primarch when you literally tower over normal humans. It'd be like if Clark Kent still wore glasses but was also 10 feet tall.

    “I always wanted to be a reporter but Coach said ‘Kent, you’re on the Basketball squad, like now’ but I broke my ankle just before the State Finals.”
    “Ooh, makes sense. See you later then, sporsdesk.”
    “Bye Lois” *sigh*

    ...because dragons are AWESOME! That's why.
    Nintendo Network ID: AzraelRose
    DropBox invite link - get 500MB extra free.
    Gnome-Interruptus
  • Psychotic OnePsychotic One The Lord of No Pants Parts UnknownRegistered User regular
    Karl wrote: »
    The Emperor should have fully explained to Magnus and Lorgar what was up.

    That would have solved most of the issues.

    This. Right here. Heresy dies because Horus cant get mass troops and the Thousand Sons don't get decimated. Magus descends to the planet and just exterminated all the traitors with psyker fire.

  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    Ah but that's the emperor's weakness isn't it? Hubris. Pride. The weakness that infects the Imperium of Man to its very roots.

    italianranmaH3KnucklesGvzbgulvalhalla130Gnome-InterruptusNartwak
  • KetBraKetBra FISTS OF JUSTICE! Registered User regular
    Woo, Winters did a battle report with Tyranids vs Deathwatch



    Storm shields in kill teams are pretty good

    ohKiGmg.png
    Steam Bnet:KetBra#1692 Yo Satan
  • Lord_AsmodeusLord_Asmodeus goeticSobriquet: Here is your magical cryptic riddle-tumour: I AM A TIME MACHINERegistered User regular
    see317 wrote: »
    Sure, the names are all very self aware, I'd suggest bordering on satire in any other setting.
    But, they never acknowledge the self awareness of the names in the setting. Like Ferrus Manus (Literally Iron Hands) forming the Iron Hands legion because his hands were metal.
    But, that's never commented on by anyone.

    Warhammer 40k as a setting at its very origins is something that is from an outside perspective very satirical and tongue-in-cheek and referential in a lot of ways, but in-universe is treated deadly seriously (which can be quite humorous which is, or at least was early on, part of the intent)

    Lord_Asmodeus.gifLord_Asmodeus2.gifz1i30sg.png
    H3KnucklesmanwiththemachinegunitalianranmaAndy JoeTynnan
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