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They advanced the PLOT?! Warhammer 40k casual lore

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Posts

  • BrainleechBrainleech Registered User regular
    Karl wrote: »
    The Emperor should have fully explained to Magnus and Lorgar what was up.

    That would have solved most of the issues.

    This. Right here. Heresy dies because Horus cant get mass troops and the Thousand Sons don't get decimated. Magus descends to the planet and just exterminated all the traitors with psyker fire.
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    warhammer 40k as a setting is an iron maiden album cover taken completely at face value

    This says more of 80's metal than iron maiden

    sk2z85hv9wh9.png

  • KetBraKetBra FISTS OF JUSTICE! Registered User regular
    Iron Maiden... is 80's metal??

    ohKiGmg.png
    Steam Bnet:KetBra#1692 Yo Satan
    H3Knucklessarukunvalhalla130Lord_AsmodeusDyvim TvarTonkka
  • BrainleechBrainleech Registered User regular
    KetBra wrote: »
    Iron Maiden... is 80's metal??

    This is what I hear when I see the icons of Khrone I just posted

  • KarlKarl Registered User regular
    "Oi Magnus, here's the deal with the warp (you call it the great ocean). Don't fuck about with the lifeforms in the warp, they cannot be trusted.

    Also, I got plans for you involving you sitting on a big chair and psychically running our new interstellar webway. You can still astral project everywhere and let's be honest. You prefer that anyway. No sorcery, you have all the power you already need".

    "Lorgar, come here. You need to understand what you're worshipping. Seriously, I have a plan and its now time to explain. You'll understand why the Imperial Truth is best."



    Angron...fuck I dunno. Those fuckwits cut out part of his brain and replaced it with cybernetics. He's fundamentally compromised and even the Emperor can't fix it.

    Morty could be sorted out maybe? Same with Perty, Fulgrim and most of the other traitor primarchs.



    Kondrad you just mind wipe. There's no fixing that, hit the reboot button.

    YOU'RE ALL BABIES.
    SO MUCH POTENTIAL TO WASTE.
    Koshian wrote: »
    JOKE'S ON YOU
    MY POTENTIAL IS ALREADY WASTED
  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    Fulgrim was alright, his Legion were man for man the best fighters in the Crusade and he was a genius tactician and strategist himself. Chemos was one of the few traitor homeworlds that was a great place to live, like Ultramar or whatever.

    Dyvim Tvar
  • WearingglassesWearingglasses Of the friendly neighborhood variety Registered User regular
    What's the power rankings on tactics/strategy for the primarchs? I just keep reading the same "One of the most brilliant minds"/"best strategist in the Imperium" description in most of them.

  • honoverehonovere Registered User regular
    Wasn't Fulgrim also more possessed and partially replaced by a deamon than actually fall to Chaos in the beginning? Also He and Lorgar just kept bad company. Lorgar especially was Grimma Wormtongued.

    valhalla130H3Knuckles
  • GvzbgulGvzbgul Ask me about my scrotalist agenda Registered User regular
    It has just occurred to me that the Eldars' great plans are effectively internet slacktivism.

    "If enough people like this post we'll stop an african warlord! #KONY2012"
    "If enough Eldar die and are kept in soulstones we'll awaken the god of the dead! #NeedYnnead"
    "If enough Eldar cry for the Maiden Worlds we'll free Isha from the clutches of Nurgle! #FreeIsha"

    Gnome-Interruptus
  • KarlKarl Registered User regular
    What's the power rankings on tactics/strategy for the primarchs? I just keep reading the same "One of the most brilliant minds"/"best strategist in the Imperium" description in most of them.



    It all depends on what you think is important.

    Compared to today's standards/morals, Roboute would be the best primarch. Yeah he'd take over your planet, but then he'd institute grassroots reconstruction of the entire world. We're talking full functioning infrastructure and government. He'd even get healthcare and education sorted.

    In terms of combat skill
    • Sanguinius
      Lion El Johnson
      Russ

    In terms of battle/campaign strategy
    • Dorn
    • Perty
    • Roboute


    The rest kind of fall somewhere in the middle. No one was bad except (IMO) Lorgar because he kept building churches after he took a world into compliance. There's nothing wrong with spending time building, Roboute would rebuild a world's infrastructure, Dorn would rebuild the defence estate of a world.

    Lorgar built churches. Useless fuck

    YOU'RE ALL BABIES.
    SO MUCH POTENTIAL TO WASTE.
    Koshian wrote: »
    JOKE'S ON YOU
    MY POTENTIAL IS ALREADY WASTED
  • BrainleechBrainleech Registered User regular
    That's all he knew though for the most part the rest of the known primarchs landed on brutal worlds he landed on a monastery of a world.

  • GvzbgulGvzbgul Ask me about my scrotalist agenda Registered User regular
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    there is a primarch named corvus corax who founded the raven guard
    And guess what his last words were...

    ExtreaminatusH3KnucklesNartwak
  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    edited February 12
    There were a number of Primarchs where you wouldn't really be able to separate them in terms of personal skill. Horus, Russ, The Lion, Fulgrim, Sanguinius, the Khan, they all were just shit hot. All of them beat another Primarch too I think? Actually I think only Russ, Fulgrim, Dorn and Horus actually iced other Primarchs, but Dorn wasn't the best fighters or even near it tbh. For a Primarch anyway.

    Shit Fulgrim took out two, Ferrus and Gulliman. That's serious pedigree.

    Solar on
    DouglasDanger
  • BrainleechBrainleech Registered User regular
    Gvzbgul wrote: »
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    there is a primarch named corvus corax who founded the raven guard
    And guess what his last words were...

    I thought the rumors were he is basically a sentient shadow now.

    H3Knuckles
  • GvzbgulGvzbgul Ask me about my scrotalist agenda Registered User regular
    His last known words then.

  • honoverehonovere Registered User regular
    How was Vulkan like during the Great Crusade? I know he later got serius PTSD after being killed so many times by Curze and that the Salamanders are probably the most human Marines now - they actually live among the people of their home planet - but how did he treat worlds that the Slamanders "liberated"

  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    My husband was almost crying laughing earlier just from me describing orky technology and culture. Like, doom divers and how Yarrick is da best humie and stuff

    H3Knucklesironsizide
  • EchoEcho Moderator mod
    My husband was almost crying laughing earlier just from me describing orky technology and culture. Like, doom divers and how Yarrick is da best humie and stuff

    MFU3Sfh.png

    Echo wrote: »
    Let they who have not posted about their balls in the wrong thread cast the first stone.
    sarukunDer Waffle Mousvalhalla130SmurphMetzger MeisterExtreaminatusstopgapGnome-InterruptusGvzbgulGustavH3KnucklesLord_AsmodeusironsizideNartwakTonkkaOlivaw
  • sarukunsarukun Mr. Bulldopps Get SchwiftyRegistered User regular
    Gvzbgul wrote: »
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    there is a primarch named corvus corax who founded the raven guard
    And guess what his last words were...

    ....

    "Caw, caw...

    motherfuckers?"

    italianranmaSimpsoniaDyvim Tvar
  • KarlKarl Registered User regular
    sarukun wrote: »
    Gvzbgul wrote: »
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    there is a primarch named corvus corax who founded the raven guard
    And guess what his last words were...

    ....

    "Caw, caw...

    motherfuckers?"

    NEVERMORE


    SO EDGY

    SO GRIM

    YOU'RE ALL BABIES.
    SO MUCH POTENTIAL TO WASTE.
    Koshian wrote: »
    JOKE'S ON YOU
    MY POTENTIAL IS ALREADY WASTED
    sarukunTynnanH3KnucklesGvzbgulDyvim TvarNartwakOlivaw
  • EchoEcho Moderator mod
    sarukun wrote: »
    Gvzbgul wrote: »
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    there is a primarch named corvus corax who founded the raven guard
    And guess what his last words were...

    ....

    "Caw, caw...

    motherfuckers?"

    Echo wrote: »
    Let they who have not posted about their balls in the wrong thread cast the first stone.
    sarukunSnicketysnickaugustFleeb
  • KarlKarl Registered User regular
    Fulgrim was a 6/10 Sanguinius

    YOU'RE ALL BABIES.
    SO MUCH POTENTIAL TO WASTE.
    Koshian wrote: »
    JOKE'S ON YOU
    MY POTENTIAL IS ALREADY WASTED
  • honoverehonovere Registered User regular
    Yeah, but all of the Primarchs pretty much agree that you can rate them on a scale of 1 to Sanguinius. Horus is going "Sanguinius would be much better at this than me" all the time.

  • FiendishrabbitFiendishrabbit Registered User regular
    What Would Sanguinus Do?

    "The western world sips from a poisonous cocktail: Polarisation, populism, protectionism and post-truth"
    -Antje Jackelén, Archbishop of the Church of Sweden
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    Echo wrote: »
    My husband was almost crying laughing earlier just from me describing orky technology and culture. Like, doom divers and how Yarrick is da best humie and stuff

    MFU3Sfh.png

    he loved this, especially cuz orks were trying to do us a favor by making our hair cooler

  • KarlKarl Registered User regular
    What Would Sanguinus Do?

    Something stupid and heroic?

    Like trying to take on Horus despite being wounded and tired from weeks of fighting, and his opponent being empowered by the entire Chaos pantheon.

    YOU'RE ALL BABIES.
    SO MUCH POTENTIAL TO WASTE.
    Koshian wrote: »
    JOKE'S ON YOU
    MY POTENTIAL IS ALREADY WASTED
  • ExtreaminatusExtreaminatus Registered User regular
    What Would Sanguinus Do?

    Get his windpipe crushed.

    Preacher wrote: »
    There are plenty of people out there that believe in white supremacy and sweet sweet big foot dick.
    SolarDyvim Tvar
  • DelduwathDelduwath Registered User regular
    I feel like the Horus Heresy could have been averted, and most of the primarchs could have been brought back from the edge, if their inhuman space god-dad had one single genuine conversation with them, and gave them one single hug.

  • KetBraKetBra FISTS OF JUSTICE! Registered User regular
    Gvzbgul wrote: »
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    there is a primarch named corvus corax who founded the raven guard
    And guess what his last words were...

    That's so raven?

    ohKiGmg.png
    Steam Bnet:KetBra#1692 Yo Satan
    H3KnucklesTamerBillironsizideDyvim TvarNartwak
  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    KetBra wrote: »
    Gvzbgul wrote: »
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    there is a primarch named corvus corax who founded the raven guard
    And guess what his last words were...

    That's so raven?

    Turns out it wasn't "Choke me harder, daddy".
    Long story short, there goes my fanfic.

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
    Dyvim Tvar
  • stopgapstopgap Registered User regular
    KetBra wrote: »
    Gvzbgul wrote: »
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    there is a primarch named corvus corax who founded the raven guard
    And guess what his last words were...

    That's so raven?

    Is there an "your words are such a dad joke it hurts button"

    steam_sig.png
  • DelduwathDelduwath Registered User regular
    Yeah, it's :so_raven:

    see317KetBravalhalla130darunia106H3KnucklesLord_AsmodeusDyvim TvarNartwak
  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    Delduwath wrote: »
    I feel like the Horus Heresy could have been averted, and most of the primarchs could have been brought back from the edge, if their inhuman space god-dad had one single genuine conversation with them, and gave them one single hug.

    Nah fuck em

    They were tools, they existed for a purpose

    Dyvim TvarNartwak
  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    Delduwath wrote: »
    I feel like the Horus Heresy could have been averted, and most of the primarchs could have been brought back from the edge, if their inhuman space god-dad had one single genuine conversation with them, and gave them one single hug.

    Presumably he could also have put up some wards to prevent the Primarchs from getting stolen by Chaos and distributed to a variety of hellish death worlds.
    Assuming, of course, that them getting warp jacked wasn't all part of the plan in the first place.

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
  • DelduwathDelduwath Registered User regular
    I mean, even if you take the cold and emotionless approach that the Emperor intended the Primarchs and Space Marines to do their job and then burn up, he still mishandled them.

    Tools need to be taken care of. You don't go "Eh, I'm not going to oil up that drill press and it doesn't matter that this saw is rusty, they're just tools". Even if you only intend to use the tools for a very short time and then don't care what happens to them (rust and all), you still want them to be in working order while they're in use. The Emperor needed to either take care of his tools (and hey, the primarchs were certainly tools in at least one definition heyoooooooo), or dispose of them properly.

    Unless, of course, tearing up physical space, making half of your juiced up tool-men fight the other half, making the now demon-juiced tool-men tear down parts of the Imperium that you just put together, and causing untold numbers of innocent lives be ground up in the process is all part of the plan. In which case, the Emperor did good, I guess.

    manwiththemachinegunH3Knuckles
  • DelduwathDelduwath Registered User regular
    see317 wrote: »
    Delduwath wrote: »
    I feel like the Horus Heresy could have been averted, and most of the primarchs could have been brought back from the edge, if their inhuman space god-dad had one single genuine conversation with them, and gave them one single hug.

    Presumably he could also have put up some wards to prevent the Primarchs from getting stolen by Chaos and distributed to a variety of hellish death worlds.
    Assuming, of course, that them getting warp jacked wasn't all part of the plan in the first place.
    I can see some sense in having your demigod super-soldiers be raised in different parts of the empire, to learn the local customs and different ways to approach war. That way, they can specialize (infrastructure-building, defense-making, beer-drinking, nu-metal-listening, etc), exhibit flexibility, and cover each other's weak spots. Assuming they're not emotionally stunted man-babies who can't work together.

    H3Knuckles
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    Solar wrote: »
    Delduwath wrote: »
    I feel like the Horus Heresy could have been averted, and most of the primarchs could have been brought back from the edge, if their inhuman space god-dad had one single genuine conversation with them, and gave them one single hug.

    Nah fuck em

    They were tools, they existed for a purpose

    Except Rowboat who is as good at his job as Malcador was

    KetBraSolarH3KnucklesNartwak
  • TheGerbilTheGerbil Registered User regular
    I think my favourite HH fact is it wasn't even originally planned by GW.

    When original flavour titanicus came out they needed a reason why imperial titans were fighting each other cause they didn't want to spend the time making xeno ones.

    "Uhhh... Imperial civil war? Yeah man some dude named Horus rebellled."


    Gnome-InterruptusGvzbgulmanwiththemachinegunH3KnucklesLord_Asmodeusironsizide
  • KarlKarl Registered User regular
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    Solar wrote: »
    Delduwath wrote: »
    I feel like the Horus Heresy could have been averted, and most of the primarchs could have been brought back from the edge, if their inhuman space god-dad had one single genuine conversation with them, and gave them one single hug.

    Nah fuck em

    They were tools, they existed for a purpose

    Except Rowboat who is as good at his job as Malcador was

    From a completely unbiased assessment, rowboat is the best primarch.

    And that's why he's so fucking boring

    YOU'RE ALL BABIES.
    SO MUCH POTENTIAL TO WASTE.
    Koshian wrote: »
    JOKE'S ON YOU
    MY POTENTIAL IS ALREADY WASTED
    H3Knuckles
  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    Solar wrote: »
    Delduwath wrote: »
    I feel like the Horus Heresy could have been averted, and most of the primarchs could have been brought back from the edge, if their inhuman space god-dad had one single genuine conversation with them, and gave them one single hug.

    Nah fuck em

    They were tools, they existed for a purpose

    Except Rowboat who is as good at his job as Malcador was

    Rowboat is let's be honest the most effective Primarch. He was the one that realised the most useful thing for a Legion to do was to be fucking massive and hugely well organised. He was the civilisation builder, he was the guy that left behind him actual productive, safe, prosperous worlds. He was the one that during the Heresy Horus was most afraid of because him and his Legion could fight, like, three other Legions at once and win (numbers + extremely good tactical and strategic training/experience + logistics + discipline = you lose, you gang of nutters). After the Heresy he was the one that actually took responsibility, reorganised, rebuilt, put safeguards in place etc.

    If you could pick one Primarch to come back on the Imperial side you'd be a fool if you didn't pick Gulliman. He's the ultimate force multiplier. Maybe you'd want Sanguinius because he's more inspiring but shit, Gulliman is inspiring! People follow him! You're right he is like Malcador, he knew he had a job to do and he did it to the absolute best of his ability. Not a nutter, not out for personal glory, not even really out for the Emperor because he knows that the Emperor's idea is even bigger than the Emperor is. Like, Imperium Secundus? The Emperor would have 100% approved of that. He'd have been like "good idea, well done for not getting sentimental." He's the complete package really. Nobody likes him because Ultramarines but he is.

    KetBramanwiththemachinegunH3Knucklesvalhalla130Lord_AsmodeusironsizideDyvim TvarNartwak
  • KarlKarl Registered User regular
    Solar wrote: »
    Delduwath wrote: »
    I feel like the Horus Heresy could have been averted, and most of the primarchs could have been brought back from the edge, if their inhuman space god-dad had one single genuine conversation with them, and gave them one single hug.

    Nah fuck em

    They were tools, they existed for a purpose

    He didn't look after his tools and they broke

    YOU'RE ALL BABIES.
    SO MUCH POTENTIAL TO WASTE.
    Koshian wrote: »
    JOKE'S ON YOU
    MY POTENTIAL IS ALREADY WASTED
    GvzbgulmanwiththemachinegunH3KnucklesLord_AsmodeusNartwakOlivaw
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