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They advanced the PLOT?! Warhammer 40k casual lore

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    ThawmusThawmus +Jackface Registered User regular
    Has anyone ever tried approaching an impending Ork invasion by throwing them a party? Would that not completely deflate their balloons? Just take the thing they love away from them and see what they do?

    Twitch: Thawmus83
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    honoverehonovere Registered User regular
    I think they're probably pretty good at turning any party into an Ork style party. For not-orks the difference between that and all out warfare is probably negligible.

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    sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    I’m pretty sure they would get upset and murder everybody, except now there’s also balloons and ice cream.

    Like, there really isn’t an outcome that isn’t “the orks do murders and then audit the amount of fun had whilst murdering.”

    “Deer diuhree,

    Me an’ da boyz masht sum humies good an’ propa tuhday but they wuzn’t much fuh foitin’ an’ they wuz ow ded inside a coppola minnits but then we ‘ad sum cold sweety goo an’ that put the Waaaghboss roit as rain so nobody got shot in the noggin’.

    I gess it wuz a good day.”

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    NobodyNobody Registered User regular
    Karl wrote: »
    Also looked up official numbers for star ships. Whoever came up with those numbers are adorable.

    A cruiser-sized vessel (2 km long, 18k crew, 8 Mtonnes) is not on the face of it meaningless (although it should be a bit heavier).

    The largest transport in the Imperium is a 12 km Universe-class mass conveyor. 60k crew, 500k passenger capacity. With those numbers, you can live your whole life there and never see another soul in the enormous, empty caverns of steel that make up vast bulk of that effectively empty vessel.

    A 12 km ship should have at minimum 100M passenger capacity, and maybe 10% that in crew. Much more if you stack them in like sardines.

    As a general rule, GW is fucking terrible about numbers/scale.

    I mean, look at boltgun mags. There is no way the magazine is big enough to fit all the rounds that are supposedly in there.

    Andy Chambers used to hang around the Dropfleet Commander Facebook page and made a comment about somebody higher up wanting the 40K ships to be insanely scaled when asked about the size differences.

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    Styrofoam SammichStyrofoam Sammich WANT. normal (not weird)Registered User regular
    In
    sarukun wrote: »
    I’m pretty sure they would get upset and murder everybody, except now there’s also balloons and ice cream.

    Like, there really isn’t an outcome that isn’t “the orks do murders and then audit the amount of fun had whilst murdering.”

    “Deer diuhree,

    Me an’ da boyz masht sum humies good an’ propa tuhday but they wuzn’t much fuh foitin’ an’ they wuz ow ded inside a coppola minnits but then we ‘ad sum cold sweety goo an’ that put the Waaaghboss roit as rain so nobody got shot in the noggin’.

    I gess it wuz a good day.”

    Old fantasy warhammer had a bit where the greenskins laid siege to a city and when the city surrendered the greenskins were disappointed to find only terrified women and children and exhausted soldiers so they just went home because there was no one to fight.

    wq09t4opzrlc.jpg
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    see317see317 Registered User regular
    Really seems like the best defense against an Ork invasion is a massive orbital bulletin board pointing the way to the nearest Space Marine outpost with a promise of a better fight once they get there.

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    darunia106darunia106 J-bob in games Death MountainRegistered User regular
    Hobnail wrote: »
    Neither of those things is trade that is contract work and extortion

    Show me Ork trade goods goddamnit! Show me Ork merchants! Quit tryin to wriggle out of this show me book keeper Ork!!

    This may not have been clear earlier but Ork currency is their teeth.

    It's actually kinda brilliant because it means counterfeiting is pointless as why bother when ya got a mouth full of them. And since an Ork grows and replaces teeth fairly quickly an Ork isn't destitute for too long.

    pHWHd2G.jpg
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    GR_ZombieGR_Zombie Krillin It Registered User regular
    darunia106 wrote: »
    Hobnail wrote: »
    Neither of those things is trade that is contract work and extortion

    Show me Ork trade goods goddamnit! Show me Ork merchants! Quit tryin to wriggle out of this show me book keeper Ork!!

    This may not have been clear earlier but Ork currency is their teeth.

    It's actually kinda brilliant because it means counterfeiting is pointless as why bother when ya got a mouth full of them. And since an Ork grows and replaces teeth fairly quickly an Ork isn't destitute for too long.

    The natural decay prevents inflation!

    04xkcuvaav19.png
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    Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    You've also got the odd flash gitz that like to enhance their shootaz with gold and gubbinz and whatnot, and freebootaz are like orky mercenaries that will take payment and grog and stuff. I don't know how current that is in canon though, that's just bits I've read here and there.

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    valhalla130valhalla130 13 Dark Shield Perceives the GodsRegistered User regular
    Fungus beer

    asxcjbppb2eo.jpg
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    ZibblsnrtZibblsnrt Registered User, Moderator mod
    see317 wrote: »
    Karl wrote: »
    Also looked up official numbers for star ships. Whoever came up with those numbers are adorable.

    A cruiser-sized vessel (2 km long, 18k crew, 8 Mtonnes) is not on the face of it meaningless (although it should be a bit heavier).

    The largest transport in the Imperium is a 12 km Universe-class mass conveyor. 60k crew, 500k passenger capacity. With those numbers, you can live your whole life there and never see another soul in the enormous, empty caverns of steel that make up vast bulk of that effectively empty vessel.

    A 12 km ship should have at minimum 100M passenger capacity, and maybe 10% that in crew. Much more if you stack them in like sardines.

    As a general rule, GW is fucking terrible about numbers/scale.

    I mean, look at boltgun mags. There is no way the magazine is big enough to fit all the rounds that are supposedly in there.

    To be fair, Science Fiction is generally terrible with numbers and scale. You can't really lay that exclusively on GW.

    One of my favorite offenders in that department was Wing Commander, casually talking about kilometer-long armoured warships massing 50,000-60,000 tonnes.

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    DelduwathDelduwath Registered User regular
    You've also got the odd flash gitz that like to enhance their shootaz with gold and gubbinz and whatnot, and freebootaz are like orky mercenaries that will take payment and grog and stuff. I don't know how current that is in canon though, that's just bits I've read here and there.
    My understanding of the Warhammer 40k universe is that the galaxy is big enough and weird enough that somewhere there's a corner where your Personal Preferred Take On the Setting Is Happening and it's all canon anyway because what's the canon police gonna do, come to every planet and knock on every door?

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    ElaroElaro Apologetic Registered User regular

    Delduwath wrote: »
    You've also got the odd flash gitz that like to enhance their shootaz with gold and gubbinz and whatnot, and freebootaz are like orky mercenaries that will take payment and grog and stuff. I don't know how current that is in canon though, that's just bits I've read here and there.
    My understanding of the Warhammer 40k universe is that the galaxy is big enough and weird enough that somewhere there's a corner where your Personal Preferred Take On the Setting Is Happening and it's all canon anyway because what's the canon police gonna do, come to every planet and knock on every door?

    "Canon police", huh? Are the Protectors of the Plot Continuum still around?

    Children's rights are human rights.
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    AuralynxAuralynx Darkness is a perspective Watching the ego workRegistered User regular
    Elaro wrote: »
    Delduwath wrote: »
    You've also got the odd flash gitz that like to enhance their shootaz with gold and gubbinz and whatnot, and freebootaz are like orky mercenaries that will take payment and grog and stuff. I don't know how current that is in canon though, that's just bits I've read here and there.
    My understanding of the Warhammer 40k universe is that the galaxy is big enough and weird enough that somewhere there's a corner where your Personal Preferred Take On the Setting Is Happening and it's all canon anyway because what's the canon police gonna do, come to every planet and knock on every door?

    "Canon police", huh? Are the Protectors of the Plot Continuum still around?

    The Canon Police were raised during the 19th Founding in the mid-36th Millennium.

    An Ultramarines successor with a deep reverence for the Codex Astartes, they are widely known for actions in support of the Ecclesiarchy, having participated in the Zoat incursions in M38 and, more recently being part of extensive offensive actions against Imperial planets with large Abhuman populations, especially ones shorter than the average Imperial citizen...

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    honoverehonovere Registered User regular
    Squats actually did get some models in the last few years. Only single characters for necromunda but more than anyone really expected. Same for zoats. There's one running around in Blackstone fortress

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    LalaboxLalabox Registered User regular
    The Cannon Police are just running around in one backwater of the imperium trying to keep catholocism alive

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    BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    Still I thought they had left squats on the road of history way back in the early 90's
    When they brought out that tidbit of lore for the Tau that the Demiurg came up with the ion tech they use since most of the Demiurg were into mining they had ships in late Battlefleet I thought this is where GW took the squats

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    PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    edited April 2021
    Lalabox wrote: »
    The Cannon Police are just running around in one backwater of the imperium trying to keep catholocism alive

    Ollanius Pious is older than Big E, knew him personally as they are both Perpetuals, and is a devout catholic(hence his sobriquet 'pious')

    PiptheFair on
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    LalaboxLalabox Registered User regular
    The Cannon Policeas tradcaths and are still angry about vatican 2

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    MonwynMonwyn Apathy's a tragedy, and boredom is a crime. A little bit of everything, all of the time.Registered User regular
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    Lalabox wrote: »
    The Cannon Police are just running around in one backwater of the imperium trying to keep catholocism alive

    Ollanius Pious is older than Big E, knew him personally as they are both Perpetuals, and is a devout catholic(hence his sobriquet 'pious')

    I'm pretty sure Oll isn't actually older than Emps, seeing as how Emps literally witnessed the first human murder

    He is real fuckin' old, though. Hung around with Jason on that trip to get a golden fleece.

    uH3IcEi.png
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    PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    Monwyn wrote: »
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    Lalabox wrote: »
    The Cannon Police are just running around in one backwater of the imperium trying to keep catholocism alive

    Ollanius Pious is older than Big E, knew him personally as they are both Perpetuals, and is a devout catholic(hence his sobriquet 'pious')

    I'm pretty sure Oll isn't actually older than Emps, seeing as how Emps literally witnessed the first human murder

    He is real fuckin' old, though. Hung around with Jason on that trip to get a golden fleece.

    nope, big e was born around 8000 bce in anatolia, olly is from 15k bce in nineveh

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    PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    note that nineveh absolutely did not exist in 15000bc

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    LalaboxLalabox Registered User regular
    Ol' pie-anus himself

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    honoverehonovere Registered User regular
    Turning ollanius into some immortal superhuman is one of the worse ideas of the HH series. Just let him be a normal human soldier.

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    GrudgeGrudge blessed is the mind too small for doubtRegistered User regular
    darunia106 wrote: »
    Hobnail wrote: »
    Neither of those things is trade that is contract work and extortion

    Show me Ork trade goods goddamnit! Show me Ork merchants! Quit tryin to wriggle out of this show me book keeper Ork!!

    This may not have been clear earlier but Ork currency is their teeth.

    It's actually kinda brilliant because it means counterfeiting is pointless as why bother when ya got a mouth full of them. And since an Ork grows and replaces teeth fairly quickly an Ork isn't destitute for too long.

    I've always loved how the Bad Moon clan Ork's teeth grow a little faster, so they are usually richer than the other clans. But the other clans don't see this as being unfair in any way, because you can always hit a Bad Moon over the head and take his teeth if you want to.

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    Golden YakGolden Yak Burnished Bovine The sunny beaches of CanadaRegistered User regular
    Grudge wrote: »
    darunia106 wrote: »
    Hobnail wrote: »
    Neither of those things is trade that is contract work and extortion

    Show me Ork trade goods goddamnit! Show me Ork merchants! Quit tryin to wriggle out of this show me book keeper Ork!!

    This may not have been clear earlier but Ork currency is their teeth.

    It's actually kinda brilliant because it means counterfeiting is pointless as why bother when ya got a mouth full of them. And since an Ork grows and replaces teeth fairly quickly an Ork isn't destitute for too long.

    I've always loved how the Bad Moon clan Ork's teeth grow a little faster, so they are usually richer than the other clans. But the other clans don't see this as being unfair in any way, because you can always hit a Bad Moon over the head and take his teeth if you want to.

    Orks and their engineered biology elements are the best. I loved how their lore was expanded by the events of War of the Beast, and the hints that the ancient Krork were vastly more powerful, in relation to how their major enemies that were at their height in ancient times. It makes sense how the Krork could tangle with the Eldar and Necrons at their apex, and the reason orks are so lowly in comparison by the 40K era is just because nothing has ever threatened them enough to push them to evolve back into Krork.

    Though they're getting there now with Ghazghkull approaching Beast Ork status.

    H9f4bVe.png
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    honoverehonovere Registered User regular
    They might also be missing the lost race to lead them. (Might still be the what the gretchins degenerated from)

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    Mr_RoseMr_Rose 83 Blue Ridge Protects the Holy Registered User regular
    honovere wrote: »
    They might also be missing the lost race to lead them. (Might still be the what the gretchins degenerated from)

    Nah, that’s definitely still snotlings. Nothing has contradicted the old fluff yet, just kinda not mentioned it for 25 years…

    ...because dragons are AWESOME! That's why.
    Nintendo Network ID: AzraelRose
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    EchoEcho ski-bap ba-dapModerator mod
    Karl wrote: »
    As a general rule, GW is fucking terrible about numbers/scale.

    I mean, look at boltgun mags. There is no way the magazine is big enough to fit all the rounds that are supposedly in there.

    Bolters can keep firing because of their faith in the Emprah.

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    KarlKarl Registered User regular
    edited April 2021
    The emperor's grand plan was to remove Humanity's reliance on the warp via the imperial webway project.

    Humanity is evolving into a psychic race and if you think the fall of the eldar was bad, imagine how bad it would be when humanity fucks it all up in the same way.

    Of course, the meta commentary of the setting is that the emperor isn't nearly as smart as he thinks he is and fucks it all up.

    Maybe warn his sons about the extra dimensional psychic xenos (let's be honest, that's what the demons/gods are).

    But no, he tries to keep it all secret.

    Then idiot Magnus fucks the webway project.

    Karl on
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    KarlKarl Registered User regular
    Also, obligatory "Erebus is the worst"

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    honoverehonovere Registered User regular
    edited April 2021
    Mr_Rose wrote: »
    honovere wrote: »
    They might also be missing the lost race to lead them. (Might still be the what the gretchins degenerated from)

    Nah, that’s definitely still snotlings. Nothing has contradicted the old fluff yet, just kinda not mentioned it for 25 years…

    Oops, snotlings, not gretchins, right.

    Lost race and brainboyz at least comes up in the 4th edition codex. Don't know about the later ones. So 13 years ago at least.

    honovere on
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    H3KnucklesH3Knuckles But we decide which is right and which is an illusion.Registered User regular
    edited April 2021
    Echo wrote: »
    Karl wrote: »
    As a general rule, GW is fucking terrible about numbers/scale.

    I mean, look at boltgun mags. There is no way the magazine is big enough to fit all the rounds that are supposedly in there.

    Bolters can keep firing because of their faith in the Emprah.

    I mean, it's kind of the 40K/Big E equivalent to Hanukkah's miracle of the lamp oil not running out. Or Christ feeding 5,000 people with only five loaves of bread and two fish. It would be very thematically appropriate for that to be an Act of Faith or some other kind of game mechanic for the more zealous Imperial factions/units.

    H3Knuckles on
    If you're curious about my icon; it's an update of the early Lego Castle theme's "Black Falcons" faction.
    camo_sig2-400.png
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    NorgothNorgoth cardiffRegistered User regular
    H3Knuckles wrote: »
    Echo wrote: »
    Karl wrote: »
    As a general rule, GW is fucking terrible about numbers/scale.

    I mean, look at boltgun mags. There is no way the magazine is big enough to fit all the rounds that are supposedly in there.

    Bolters can keep firing because of their faith in the Emprah.

    I mean, it's kind of the 40K/Big E equivalent to Hanukkah's miracle of the lamp oil not running out. Or Christ feeding 5,000 people with only five loaves of bread and two fish. It would be very thematically appropriate for that to be an Act of Faith or some other kind of game mechanic for the more zealous Imperial factions/units.

    The real answer is somehow even stupider, the recent Dark Imperium novel decided to "answer" the ammo question by saying that marines have new clips delivered to them in tiny drop pods. Which begs the question if they can deliver constant ammo reloads with pinpoint accuracy from orbit, why not just send bombs?

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    ThawmusThawmus +Jackface Registered User regular
    Norgoth wrote: »
    H3Knuckles wrote: »
    Echo wrote: »
    Karl wrote: »
    As a general rule, GW is fucking terrible about numbers/scale.

    I mean, look at boltgun mags. There is no way the magazine is big enough to fit all the rounds that are supposedly in there.

    Bolters can keep firing because of their faith in the Emprah.

    I mean, it's kind of the 40K/Big E equivalent to Hanukkah's miracle of the lamp oil not running out. Or Christ feeding 5,000 people with only five loaves of bread and two fish. It would be very thematically appropriate for that to be an Act of Faith or some other kind of game mechanic for the more zealous Imperial factions/units.

    The real answer is somehow even stupider, the recent Dark Imperium novel decided to "answer" the ammo question by saying that marines have new clips delivered to them in tiny drop pods. Which begs the question if they can deliver constant ammo reloads with pinpoint accuracy from orbit, why not just send bombs?

    Future 40k writer: "Yes"

    Twitch: Thawmus83
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    KarlKarl Registered User regular
    Norgoth wrote: »
    H3Knuckles wrote: »
    Echo wrote: »
    Karl wrote: »
    As a general rule, GW is fucking terrible about numbers/scale.

    I mean, look at boltgun mags. There is no way the magazine is big enough to fit all the rounds that are supposedly in there.

    Bolters can keep firing because of their faith in the Emprah.

    I mean, it's kind of the 40K/Big E equivalent to Hanukkah's miracle of the lamp oil not running out. Or Christ feeding 5,000 people with only five loaves of bread and two fish. It would be very thematically appropriate for that to be an Act of Faith or some other kind of game mechanic for the more zealous Imperial factions/units.

    The real answer is somehow even stupider, the recent Dark Imperium novel decided to "answer" the ammo question by saying that marines have new clips delivered to them in tiny drop pods. Which begs the question if they can deliver constant ammo reloads with pinpoint accuracy from orbit, why not just send bombs?

    Because wildly swinging a chainsword in close combat whilst you incoherently yell something about Horus is more fun.

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    manwiththemachinegunmanwiththemachinegun METAL GEAR?! Registered User regular
    maxresdefault.jpg

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    LordSolarMachariusLordSolarMacharius Red wine with fish Registered User regular
    honovere wrote: »
    Squats actually did get some models in the last few years. Only single characters for necromunda but more than anyone really expected. Same for zoats. There's one running around in Blackstone fortress

    They look really good too:

    lrssnlcb9b0k.jpg

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    KarlKarl Registered User regular
    I do enjoy that in 5th edition, GW just went:

    "Fuck it, let the blood angels deep strike a land raider".

    Now they've thankfully toned it back to:

    "Let the blood angels have psychic flying dreadnaughts"

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    PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    honovere wrote: »
    Turning ollanius into some immortal superhuman is one of the worse ideas of the HH series. Just let him be a normal human soldier.

    he doesn't actually have super strength or anything

    he is literally just a guy that cannot die

    also, they retconned it years ago so that it was sanguinius who got clapped by horus

This discussion has been closed.