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I don't really wanna do the work today [Job Thread]

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Posts

  • ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    3clipse wrote: »
    I don't have a rap name but two black guys at my wedding did have a rap battle to determine which one would get to be "my black friend" so that was great.

    This feels like a scene from the Not Another Teen Movie Sequel

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    So the front door of this building has four doors (two sets of two)

    for some reason when you swipe your badge on the entry thing, it will only open one of the two sets of doors, and only one of those doors in the set

    so all morning I've been seeing people swipe their badges, yank on one of the doors, try the other door, and then just get annoyed and wave frantically at me to let them in

  • 3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    Tox wrote: »
    3clipse wrote: »
    I don't have a rap name but two black guys at my wedding did have a rap battle to determine which one would get to be "my black friend" so that was great.

    This feels like a scene from the Not Another Teen Movie Sequel

    It's even funnier (to me) because they were not the only black people there.

  • Librarian's ghostLibrarian's ghost Librarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSpork Registered User regular
    I saw an article on the Washington Post about being American now and they have people from each state. "Sure," I think, "Let's see what bad person they've got for my state."

    Click on it.

    It is a teacher I know.

    Weird.

    (Switch Friend Code) SW-4910-9735-6014(PSN) timspork (Steam) timspork (XBox) Timspork


  • OghulkOghulk Tinychat Janitor TinychatRegistered User regular
    Some kids in my class today are watching Revenge of the Sith in reverse

    It's...kind of amusing to listen to

  • DevoutlyApatheticDevoutlyApathetic Registered User regular
    Oh how I hate our quality department. They don't know how to read prints but that's fine since they don't know to measure parts either. They sure love to claim that things on the print aren't on the print and they shouldn't have to measure them.

    It would help if they hadn't basically destroyed my bosses faith in all CMM measurements with their constant fuck ups.

    Nod. Get treat. PSN: Quippish
  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    edited January 2018
    Stoner guy rambling about how he's such a good worker and that his former coworkers want him back because he's so fast and does so much work. Every time he calls out the entire mailroom talks about how much work he doesn't do and all the mistakes he made that they're cleaning up.

    Hello Dunning-Krueger how are you?

    EDIT: Stoner guy now rambling about how he's going to buy a parking garage and get rich that way because "it won't cost much, only have to pay one person, and don't need water or much electricity."

    ok

    Madican on
  • CalicaCalica Registered User regular
    Last night I was imagining a scenario in which I had somehow been transported back to the middle ages and was trying to describe life in the future to some random peasant farmer (someone interviewed on NPR was talking about how people don't really grok what nuclear weapons do, and one thing led to another because my brain is weird like that).

    I ended up telling him about how I had all this amazing stuff at my fingertips, and yet basically wasted my life.

  • chromdomchromdom Who? Where?Registered User regular
    edited January 2018
    My girlfriend and I consciously decided that we weren't going to get caught up in bodily function hang ups. Unfortunately, most of my gas is fairly quiet, leading her to feel like she's the only one participating, and me to trying to force noisy farts.

    tl;dr I audibly farted in the office kitchen.

    chromdom on
  • OghulkOghulk Tinychat Janitor TinychatRegistered User regular
    Today while substitute teaching
    Coefficients:
    [ 356.53538192 -1226.13062965 296.00300505]
    Mean squared eror: 90870186.17
    Variance score: 0.11

    lol :rotate:

  • Lindsay LohanLindsay Lohan Registered User regular
    So I have spent the past year or so cleaning up the errors and exceptions from an automated system. I've felt all along that maybe the volume of errors was a bit high, but just kept on going.

    Today I had a few extra minutes so I decided to run some queries. Turns out in 2017 I processed 22,000 activations, the automated system did 900ish - so it has about a 95% failure rate for the year. I was able to figure out what was broken (it was something setup wrong by a person higher up).

    So the good news, I found why I've been so goddamned busy. The bad news is that I'll have to help fix things.

  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    The assholeish secretary I've complained about here before sent a 'polite reminder' to use saying that we need to restock the office supplies more frequently. Maybe a little brusque, but I understand. But she also copied the office manager and the head partner of the firm, which seems unnecessary.

    Also when I've sent emails out before notifiying the office that the FedEx pickup is coming earlier (due to weather), she likes to reply to the entire office saying what time the pickup normally is. Lady, I know that, that's why I'm sending an email saying it will be coming earlier.

  • worksintheoryworksintheory Registered User regular
    The owner is doing secret things with the company's articles of incorporation. This is not a good sign.

  • FishmanFishman Put your goddamned hand in the goddamned Box of Pain. Registered User regular
    I booked today off so that I can have a 4-day weekend with the regional holiday Monday.

    Sitting at home at a time when I'd normally be getting ready to go to the office, I get a hurried text from a mate who usually takes a train before mine. There's a breakdown, all services stopped, multiple lines affected, extra holiday weekend traffic is cascading into a clusterfuck on the motorway into town and he's wondering what I'm planning.

    :cool:

    X-Com LP Thread I, II, III, IV, V
    That's unbelievably cool. Your new name is cool guy. Let's have sex.
  • VeeveeVeevee WisconsinRegistered User regular
    For the Annals of Unfortunate Names, I would like to present one Harry Seaman for judgement.

    I was looking over the guest arrivals for tomorrow and I couldn't stop myself from laughing when I read this name.

  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    I have two new night supervisors that I've been training/coaching the last few days, and while doing so at one point had that realisation that fuck, I'm training bosses now.

    I walked into the back office a little later and all of corporate management was in there, all giving me that proud "our boy's all grown up" look.

  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    You're the man now, dog.

  • ButlerButler 89 episodes or bust Registered User regular
    Oghulk wrote: »
    Some kids in my class today are watching Revenge of the Sith in reverse

    It's...kind of amusing to listen to

    "WE HAVE LOCATED THE VOLCANO OF HEALING. ANAKIN, LET US REMOVE YOUR MACHINE PARTS THAT YOU MAY BE MADE WHOLE AGAIN."

  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    Butler wrote: »
    Oghulk wrote: »
    Some kids in my class today are watching Revenge of the Sith in reverse

    It's...kind of amusing to listen to

    "WE HAVE LOCATED THE VOLCANO OF HEALING. ANAKIN, LET US REMOVE YOUR MACHINE PARTS THAT YOU MAY BE MADE WHOLE AGAIN."

    "BEHOLD AS MY MIRACULOUS GLOWSTICKS REATTACH THIS MAN'S HEAD!"

  • Commander ZoomCommander Zoom Registered User regular
    edited January 2018
    "No, you can't spend all day in bed, you've got a looooot of crying scheduled for later. Five, six hours easy, then a break for lunch..."

    Commander Zoom on
  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    Oghulk wrote: »
    Some kids in my class today are watching Revenge of the Sith in reverse

    It's...kind of amusing to listen to

    I don't narc anyone out, but those students may be high as shit

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    Madican wrote: »
    Butler wrote: »
    Oghulk wrote: »
    Some kids in my class today are watching Revenge of the Sith in reverse

    It's...kind of amusing to listen to

    "WE HAVE LOCATED THE VOLCANO OF HEALING. ANAKIN, LET US REMOVE YOUR MACHINE PARTS THAT YOU MAY BE MADE WHOLE AGAIN."

    "BEHOLD AS MY MIRACULOUS GLOWSTICKS REATTACH THIS MAN'S HEAD!"

    The finale of the movie is where they bring Christopher Lee back to life so he may kidnap the emperor and save the galaxy.

  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    Guy came and took down our explodey solar panel. This is the back of it:
    wq3b1rdcuo1h.jpg

    i3rufiwo8uyb.jpg

    It clearly could not handle the power of THE MIGHTY AFRICAN SUN. Or it was built/installed by clowns. Either one is plausible.

  • Commander ZoomCommander Zoom Registered User regular
    when I related your tale of EXPLODEY PANEL (and subsequent tech-support call) else-channel, I got these comments:

    "Have you tried using less solar?"

    oh, yeah, they're not rated for an uncontrolled fusion reaction
    try using a smaller star

  • OrthancOrthanc Death Lite, Only 1 Calorie Off the end of the internet, just turn left.Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2018
    Oghulk wrote: »
    Today while substitute teaching
    Coefficients:
    [ 356.53538192 -1226.13062965 296.00300505]
    Mean squared eror: 90870186.17
    Variance score: 0.11

    lol :rotate:

    I feel like I should understand this, but these numbers confuse me. What are these numbers?

    Have a velocity raptor

    Orthanc on
    orthanc
  • Indie WinterIndie Winter die Krähe Rudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered User regular
  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    edited January 2018
    #pipe, you could move to LA and buy an old Chevy to build a lowrider...

    Donovan Puppyfucker on
  • godmodegodmode Southeast JapanRegistered User regular
    46k-103k is quite a spread

  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    Probably a range posting. 100k in CA cities is... Not as much as you think.

  • Lindsay LohanLindsay Lohan Registered User regular
    I'm working from home today. I happened to remember months ago seeing an online recipe for breakfast ramen and it just so happened I had all the stuff in the house to make it. So my breakfast was this glorious mess:
    r3sj3zjy3ryp.jpg

  • DocshiftyDocshifty Registered User regular
    Remember that sexist racist boss they removed from site?

    Yeah they gave him control of a different site.

    He ran around making Hitler jokes, arranged his desktop icons in to a swastika, said things by the minute that would force a Trump appointee to retire, blamed modern society on "a generation of men raised by women" and assured that we'd be better off "if we just killed the liberals" (Muslims too)

    And the motherfucker got a promotion.

  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    schuss wrote: »
    Probably a range posting. 100k in CA cities is... Not as much as you think.

    "40k if you have 8 roommates, 100k if you can't find a 1 bedroom with 8 roommates to share"

    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
  • EncEnc A Fool with Compassion Pronouns: He, Him, HisRegistered User regular
    So today I am spending the entire day tabling an event for my university's College of Business.

    The 30 tables or so are about 90% bankers or investment firms recruiting, 10% educational units like mine. In other terms: black suits with red ties, or mottled tweed coats and warm jackets since it is freezing in here.

    My personal banker is here from our branch. I waved hi.

    High above the rafters, though, there are balconies and box seats. This is being held in our old arena which has been converted into a basketball event space and, occasionally, into a stage.

    Standing above us all, watching, is a man in the otherwise darkened box seats. He looks precisely like santa if he were wearing a blue hoodie.

    He is always watching. Its been two hours now. He hasn't moved except to pace back and forth with his hands folded behind him like the admiral of a star destroyer.

  • DecomposeyDecomposey Registered User regular
    Couldn't go to work yesterday because work was closed due to weather. Was told to take my laptop home, but to not work until given direct authorization to work from home. Authorization was not communicated to me, so I spent the day fighting AT-ATs and Stormtroopers.

    Today my boss told me that apparently authorization had been given, just not communicated well, so I should claim 8 hours on my timesheet, despite the fact that my boss knew I did no work.

    I am ok with this.

    Before following any advice, opinions, or thoughts I may have expressed in the above post, be warned: I found Keven Costners "Waterworld" to be a very entertaining film.
  • SporkAndrewSporkAndrew Registered User, ClubPA regular
    It takes a long time for Santa to get around and check on everyone, so he has to make a start somewhere.

    Are you sure you're being good?

    The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin
  • EncEnc A Fool with Compassion Pronouns: He, Him, HisRegistered User regular
    The amount of swag I brought probably is equivalent to what Santa carries around. So if not he now knows he isn't the only game in town.

  • Librarian's ghostLibrarian's ghost Librarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSpork Registered User regular
    I've closed the library today so that JROTC can host part of a blood drive. They also have a van outside doing some of it. Since we are smaller than last year and the shelves have been rearranged, there is less open space to set up, hence the van.

    I overheard this big red cross guy say, "Yeah because we are so overflowing with space," in a sarcastic tone and I'm thinking, fuck you dude we can just not have it in here at all if you want and I can have an open library instead. How would that be for your extra space then?

    (Switch Friend Code) SW-4910-9735-6014(PSN) timspork (Steam) timspork (XBox) Timspork


  • EncEnc A Fool with Compassion Pronouns: He, Him, HisRegistered User regular
    Seriously, nothing worse than smug vampires.

  • EncEnc A Fool with Compassion Pronouns: He, Him, HisRegistered User regular
    A family of chickadees had flown in to roost in the rafters, this arena is about 5 stories tall on the inside.

    They blasted some falloutboy as a sound test and now they are angry. The birds are attacking the presenter area behind the curtains.

    There is screaming.

  • Librarian's ghostLibrarian's ghost Librarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSpork Registered User regular
    I'm just going to sit in my office all day playing Phoenix Wright on my 3DS. Maybe order a pizza to be delivered.

    (Switch Friend Code) SW-4910-9735-6014(PSN) timspork (Steam) timspork (XBox) Timspork


This discussion has been closed.