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the only award a [movie] should care about winning is a teen choice award

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    TurambarTurambar Independent Registered User regular
    Don't censor his dreams

    Steam: turamb | Origin: Turamb | 3DS: 3411-1109-4537 | NNID: Turambar | Warframe(PC): Turamb
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    ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    Mine would look like:
    Genre: Space Opera
    Plot Summary (one sentence): Cosmic low-lives are hunted down by bounty hunters after stealing from an intergalactic mob boss.
    Director: Sam Raimi
    -
    Lead Actor: Dylan McDermott
    Lead Actor: Michael Rapaport
    Lead Actor: Ken Leung
    Supporting Actor: Ray Liotta
    Supporting Actor: Laura Dern
    Supporting Actor: Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa
    Supporting Actor: Mads Mikkelsen
    Supporting Actor: Janelle Monáe
    Cameo/One-Scene Actor: Kurt Russell
    Cameo/One-Scene Actor:Lucy Lawless

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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    Make Janelle a lead and then come talk to me

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    minor incidentminor incident expert in a dying field njRegistered User regular
    I'd watch the shit out of it.

    But I'd be sad that Lucy Lawless only got one scene.

    Ah, it stinks, it sucks, it's anthropologically unjust
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    GustavGustav Friend of Goats Somewhere in the OzarksRegistered User regular
    Mute dropping the same month as Altered Carbon seems like a strange choice.

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    Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    Oh shit, can I have a go? I'm gonna stack the roster with minority actors I think could be lots of fun in the film I'm envisioning.


    Genre: Horror
    Plot Summary (one sentence): People in a quiet town start to disappear seemingly at random, turns out the town is a repository for clones being farmed for their organs by the rich and famous to repair their drug-addled bodies as they age.
    Director: Jordan Peele
    -
    Lead Actor: Don Cheadle
    Lead Actor: Kaniehtiio Horn
    Lead Actor: Constance Wu
    Supporting Actor: Noel Gugliemi
    Supporting Actor: Naomie Harris
    Supporting Actor: Chloe Bennet
    Supporting Actor: Mahershala Ali
    Supporting Actor: Barkhad Abdi
    Cameo/One-Scene Actor: Tom Hanks (as George Clooney)
    Cameo/One-Scene Actor: George Clooney (as Tom Hanks)

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    ph blakeph blake Registered User regular
    edited January 2018
    Genre: Dark Comedy
    Plot Summary (one sentence): After a herd of wild hogs the cartel was using to smuggle drugs goes on a murderous rampage through a south Texas border town, a greenhorn FBI agent investigates the killings while a cartel assassin steadily makes his way north to recover the product.
    Director: Coen Brothers
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    Lead Actor: Alison Brie
    Lead Actor: Diego Luna
    Lead Actor: Laura Dern
    Supporting Actor: John Carroll Lynch
    Supporting Actor: Selena Gomez
    Supporting Actor: Tom Hanks (obviously the cartel assassin)
    Supporting Actor: Benicio del Toro
    Supporting Actor: Allison Janney
    Cameo/One-Scene Actor: Danny Trejo
    Cameo/One-Scene Actor: Janelle Monáe

    That was fun.

    ph blake on
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    OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    So I don't really have any interest in that National Lampoon movie, but I gotta say, putting literally Harry Crane in the background is the sort of dumb stunt I can appreciate.

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    ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    Tom Hanks as the kindest, most polite cartel assassin is a casting decision I can 1000% get behind.

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    Mr. GMr. G Registered User regular
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Tom Hanks as the kindest, most polite cartel assassin is a casting decision I can 1000% get behind.

    then boy do I have a Sam Mendes movie for you

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    OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Tom Hanks as the kindest, most polite cartel assassin is a casting decision I can 1000% get behind.

    He makes a point of visiting with his victims before killing them and by the end, most of them are totally cool with it.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

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    SnicketysnickSnicketysnick The Greatest Hype Man in WesterosRegistered User regular
    This feels...poorly judged.



    now, I am given to understand that the purge films pivoted to something almost satirical, but all I had was a nervous intake of breath and a collar-tug feeling in response to this idea

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    D3 Steam #TeamTangent STO
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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    The Purge films have always been about class warfare and have only been more direct about it as time has gone on

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    ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    we live in a nightmare hellscape so I thought that was an actual official hat for a real event

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    rhylithrhylith Death Rabbits HoustonRegistered User regular
    Nah that is exactly where that series should have pivoted.

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    ph blakeph blake Registered User regular
    As long as they don't actually sell that hat, please god don't sell that hat, I don't want another red hat out in the wild for morons to buy and give me PTSD whenever I see it.

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    ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    people who buy parody MAGA hats to own trump or whatever are very, very stupid

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    Mr. GMr. G Registered User regular

    I completely forgot that Cloverfield was a January movie and was also directed by Matt Reeves, not Abrams himself

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    minor incidentminor incident expert in a dying field njRegistered User regular
    Are the Purge films like the Saw films in that there's some real, bleak, harsh social commentary about class, with deep, lingering plot threads and character arcs that extend across several films--and several year--to slow, grand reveals?

    Or is it just murder porn?

    Ah, it stinks, it sucks, it's anthropologically unjust
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    ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    Man, The Grey is one of my favorite films.

    Its a film that manages to squeeze in all of my fears.

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    Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood My baby's in there someplace She crawled right inRegistered User regular
    Gustav wrote: »
    Mute dropping the same month as Altered Carbon seems like a strange choice.

    Altered carbon looks fucking awful but yeah. Oversaturation

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    GustavGustav Friend of Goats Somewhere in the OzarksRegistered User regular
    edited January 2018
    They just look aesthetically too much like Blade Runner at scientifically perfect time for them to have been totally outdone at looking like Blade Runner. By Blade Runner.

    Gustav on
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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    Are the Purge films like the Saw films in that there's some real, bleak, harsh social commentary about class, with deep, lingering plot threads and character arcs that extend across several films--and several year--to slow, grand reveals?

    Or is it just murder porn?

    The first one is a pretty standard home invasion flick with a bonkers premise behind it

    I wouldn't call it murder porn though, I mean, it's a standard-ass home invasion flick

    And from then on it is leaning real hard on the social commentary (which is still definitely there in the first one, it's just a much smaller part of the movie)

    The second one is about the entire city of LA and one of the three plots about a group of resistance hacker trying to broadcast out a message about how the Purge is a way that the rich is culling the poor

    The third one is about a new presidential candidate who is trying to end the Purge in danger of being assassinated on Purge night

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    FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    Oh shit, can I have a go? I'm gonna stack the roster with minority actors I think could be lots of fun in the film I'm envisioning.


    Genre: Horror
    Plot Summary (one sentence): People in a quiet town start to disappear seemingly at random, turns out the town is a repository for clones being farmed for their organs by the rich and famous to repair their drug-addled bodies as they age.
    Director: Jordan Peele
    -
    Lead Actor: Don Cheadle
    Lead Actor: Kaniehtiio Horn
    Lead Actor: Constance Wu
    Supporting Actor: Noel Gugliemi
    Supporting Actor: Naomie Harris
    Supporting Actor: Chloe Bennet
    Supporting Actor: Mahershala Ali
    Supporting Actor: Barkhad Abdi
    Cameo/One-Scene Actor: Tom Hanks (as George Clooney)
    Cameo/One-Scene Actor: George Clooney (as Tom Hanks)

    Isn't this Never let me go?

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    MagellMagell Detroit Machine Guns Fort MyersRegistered User regular
    Genre: Action
    Plot Summary (one sentence): Bloodsport, but new and intergender because this is 2018
    Director: Gareth Evans
    -
    Lead Actor: Tony Jaa
    Lead Actor: Donnie Yen
    Lead Actor: Emily Beecham
    Supporting Actor: Iko Uwais
    Supporting Actor: Michael Jai White
    Supporting Actor: Jeeja Yanin
    Supporting Actor: Daniel Wu
    Supporting Actor: Ray Park
    Cameo/One-Scene Actor: Jean Claude Van Damme
    Cameo/One-Scene Actor: Michelle Yeoh

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    BlankZoeBlankZoe Registered User regular
    Blankzilla wrote: »
    The Dundee thing was confirmed to be a big viral ad for Australian Tourism, y'all

    Confirmed by randoms on twitter? Or for real?
    Confirmed by an Aussie newspaper
    http://www.thedrum.com/news/2018/01/30/tourism-australia-releases-star-studded-teasers-fake-crocodile-dundee-sequel

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    Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    I dunno. I'm not familiar with it.

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    JayKaosJayKaos Registered User regular
    Ah, fake quote-unquote aussie newspapers created as well as part of the marketing strategy. Standard ARG tactic.

    Steam | SW-0844-0908-6004 and my Switch code
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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2018
    Jesus christ, Tim Allen...

    https://trib.al/ay82p4P

    Rephrase: Jesus Christ anyone involved with this movie.

    Raijin Quickfoot on
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    3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    Jesus christ, Tim Allen...

    https://trib.al/ay82p4P

    Rephrase: Jesus Christ anyone involved with this movie.

    fucking christ

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    ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    Jesus christ, Tim Allen...

    https://trib.al/ay82p4P

    Rephrase: Jesus Christ anyone involved with this movie.
    The film—titled No Safe Spaces, because rape victims need to learn to take a fucking joke, am I right, people—is being made by conservative radio host Dennis Prager and sort-of comedian Adam Carolla, who are worried about the chilling effect they say is being created by media, campuses, and the entertainment industry silencing controversial points of view.

    in case anyone needed any evidence that Adam Carolla is still a dumb piece of shit

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    MaximumMaximum Registered User regular
    Jesus christ, Tim Allen...

    https://trib.al/ay82p4P

    Rephrase: Jesus Christ anyone involved with this movie.

    That's cool. Let them waste their money. Ain't nobody gonna watch that shit.

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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Calling it No Safe Spaces is such a fucking dick move.

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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    Maximum wrote: »
    Jesus christ, Tim Allen...

    https://trib.al/ay82p4P

    Rephrase: Jesus Christ anyone involved with this movie.

    That's cool. Let them waste their money. Ain't nobody gonna watch that shit.

    God I wish you were right

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    minor incidentminor incident expert in a dying field njRegistered User regular
    Maximum wrote: »
    Jesus christ, Tim Allen...

    https://trib.al/ay82p4P

    Rephrase: Jesus Christ anyone involved with this movie.

    That's cool. Let them waste their money. Ain't nobody gonna watch that shit.

    But it has comedy powerhouses, Tim Allen (who is best known as a toy astronaut), and Adam Carolla (who couldn't hold down a job talking about cars).

    Ah, it stinks, it sucks, it's anthropologically unjust
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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    All the people who still miss Last Man Standing are salivating at the thought of this movie.

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    mxmarksmxmarks Registered User regular
    Adam Carolla is maybe the most...conscious I've ever been of realizing someone is an idiot. I don't quite know how to put it. I guess the slowest realization or maybe the guy I outgrew and was very aware of it?

    Loved him on Loveline in my teens, thought he was hilarious. Thought his stand up was funny, then when podcasts got big found his podcast and was super into that on my drives in my early 20's.

    And then just like, gradually liked listening to him less and less. And found what he said stupider and stupider. Until one day I noticed that the auto-downloaded podcasts of his had like, maybe 2 of 30 listened to and I needed space and deleted it all and have never looked back.

    It's weird to look back on.

    PSN: mxmarks - WiiU: mxmarks - twitter: @ MikesPS4 - twitch.tv/mxmarks - "Yes, mxmarks is the King of Queens" - Unbreakable Vow
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    ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    adam carolla is a stupid asshole who thinks he's smart and honest, which is why his career is built on being a prick to people even dumber than him

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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    I'm just glad we're FINALLY going to get to hear Tim Allen's opinions.

This discussion has been closed.