As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/
Options

Choose your own adventure(stolen from pikapuff)

SoulFurySoulFury Registered User, ClubPA regular
edited May 2007 in Social Entropy++
Choose you own adventure

Choose to Play?
Yes
You find yourself at the zoo

Check out the Monkeys
The monkeys are having the sexy time.

Take pictures?
The Monkeys pull out a knife and start to attack you for photographing their sexy time activities without explicit written consent.

Fight?
The monkeys stab you to death
You Die

Run?
The monkeys stab you to death and have the sexy time with your dead body
You Lose?
Yes you do infact lose


Join in?
The Alpha Male monkey is laughing at you because if your small genitalia.

Challenge the Monkey to a knife fight?
The Monkey takes your knife and stabs you with it.
You Die

Ignore him and continue?
The other visitors at the zoo also begin laughing at you and taking picutres. You are immediatly arrested by the police with the help of the zoo staff. Your picture is on front every major media outlet and the only option to forgo any further humiliation is to commit sucide before your trial.
You Die


Check out the Food Court
ZOMG ZOMBIES!?!?!?!

Save the hot chick at the zoo
You get married and have 7 beautiful children. After years of nagging and complaining you die of complications from the removal of an ingrown toe nail.
You die.

Save the Children
YOU FOOL THE CHILDREN ARE THE ZOMBIES! You are bitten and become a zombie yourself.

Brains!
Bbbbbbbbbbraaaaaiiinnnnnnnssssss

Brains?
The monkeys escape the zoo and create their own super monkey civilization. You are killed by super monkeys weilding laser knifes.
You die again.

Brains...
You wander the earth for the rest of your days like David Caridine in zombie form. Several months later a Zombie Lion takes your legs and you are left to crawl the earth. FAT Nerds argue over the fact if the Lion was a zombie or not for years to come on the internet.

Buy Nachos
The Nachos are tasty and so are your brains.
You die


No
You win!

SoulFury on

Posts

  • Options
    scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Maybe later

    scarlet st. on
    japsig.jpg
  • Options
    Jedi RenegadeJedi Renegade Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I won already.

    Jedi Renegade on
    metalsig.jpg
  • Options
    Sara LynnSara Lynn I can handle myself. Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Fuck, that's what I get for trying to save the children..

    Sara Lynn on
  • Options
    MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Man fuck monkeys can't use knives

    Meissnerd on
  • Options
    Jedi RenegadeJedi Renegade Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    what'sa matter you that you ain't seen a monkey knife fight?

    Jedi Renegade on
    metalsig.jpg
  • Options
    ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    It says I go married after saving the hot chick. Did I actually marry the hot chick though?

    Butters on
    PSN: idontworkhere582 | CFN: idontworkhere | Steam: lordbutters | Amazon Wishlist
  • Options
    SoulFurySoulFury Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2007
    I don't kwow where the SE version of this picture is but you get the idea

    language_war_monkey_knife_fight.jpg

    SoulFury on
  • Options
    PikaPuffPikaPuff Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I hope you're at work because that's a lot of free time you have there.

    PikaPuff on
    jCyyTSo.png
  • Options
    cemetery mancemetery man Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Shit I was killed by monkeys or something.

    cemetery man on
  • Options
    XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    hahaha clicking on all the options in 'yes' made clicking 'no' that much better

    Xaquin on
  • Options
    PikaPuffPikaPuff Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Shit. I've learned in SF's world monkeys are damn good with knives.

    PikaPuff on
    jCyyTSo.png
  • Options
    SoulFurySoulFury Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2007
    Its true I had a horrible knife weilding monkey incidient in my childhood tha scared me for life.

    SoulFury on
  • Options
    StripesStripes new member
    edited May 2007
    Those fucking monkeys get everywhere.

    Stripes on
  • Options
    Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    SoulFury wrote: »
    Its true I had a horrible knife weilding monkey incidient in my childhood tha scared me for life.

    man wow

    scared for life

    Skull Man on
  • Options
    cemetery mancemetery man Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    They are probably having their horribly kinky monkey ways with our undead corpses as we speak.

    cemetery man on
  • Options
    GrathGrath I'm a much happier person these days Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2007
    The monkey is actually soulfury

    Grath on
  • Options
    Grandaddy DeliciousGrandaddy Delicious Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    SoulFury wrote: »
    I don't kwow where the SE version of this picture is but you get the idea

    language_war_monkey_knife_fight.jpg

    asusual.jpg

    Grandaddy Delicious on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Options
    CarnivoreCarnivore Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    The monkeys stab you to death
    You Die

    Carnivore on
    hihi.jpg
  • Options
    WrenWren ninja_bird Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    delicious nachos, must eat

    Wren on
    tf2sig.jpg
    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
  • Options
    CarnivoreCarnivore Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    You get married and have 7 beautiful children. After years of nagging and complaining you die of complications from the removal of an ingrown toe nail.
    You die.

    Carnivore on
    hihi.jpg
  • Options
    GrathGrath I'm a much happier person these days Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2007
    soulfury has spent an hour typing up a new one.

    lets derail this thread horribly before he can post it.

    hows the newest football season lookin to everyone?

    Grath on
  • Options
    sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I don't follow football, I only watch it if it is on TV and then forget everything about it during commercial breaks.

    sarukun on
  • Options
    eryu90eryu90 Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Aww I died of a ingrown toe nail removal.

    eryu90 on
  • Options
    GrathGrath I'm a much happier person these days Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2007
    I had a really bad problem with those until recently, they just kinda stopped.

    Grath on
  • Options
    sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Hammer toe.

    sarukun on
  • Options
    SoulFurySoulFury Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2007
    The sequel

    Welcome to corperate America the land of money and neck ties. You work for GigantoTech a small software company that writes code for television remote controls so that you can mute and unmute commericals. You find yourself in your cubicle(work coffin).

    Check your email
    You have 1 unread email.

    Read it
    It is a email from your favorite client. It states...
    "Dear <yourname here>,
    I hate you. I hope your family dies in a fire and that you survive horrible disfigured and that you live out the rest of your days unloved due to your grotesque appearence.
    Best Wishes,
    Bob

    P.S. I gave your Wife and Daughter herpes that I got from your Son.

    P.P.S It hurts when I Pee."

    Reply to Email
    "Dear Bob,
    Thank you very much for interest in UselessCrap line of software. You conserns are importaint to us and we wish to further our relationship with you and your company. To further assist us with your issue we would like to you reply to us with the following information.

    What have I ever done to you to make you wish all of those unfortunate things against me and my family?

    How long ago did you get Herpes from my Son?

    Was my wife any good in bed? Its honesty been so long I dont remember.

    Thank you in advance for you timely response to these questions.

    Sincerely,
    <Your Name Here>"

    Wait for Respose
    You wait all day for an email reply from Bob which never comes. You go home to question your family about the email. As you walk in the door you find your children watching Spongebob on the television.

    Ground them from watching that smut
    Both children go off to their rooms. They grow up resenting you and you poor parenting. You grow old and when you can no longer care for yourself they place you in a nursing home and rarely ever come and visit you. You Play Dominos with Dorthy for fun and listen to the live Mariachi band on every other friday. Eventually you die but not before YOU WIN...
    THAT IS IF THE MONKEY HADN'T BEEN THERE TO STAB YOU IN THE CHEST!!!
    YOU LOSE!!!!!

    Ask them about having sex with Bob
    Both of your children deny ever meeting Bob and also claim not to even know what "Sex" is. You then open the video cabnet removing an "educational" video for your children. After 20 or so minutes the police show up at your home and arrest you for exposing children to adult content. You are sent to prison and violated ever night by Tiffiany a 250lbs rodeo cowboy who was convicted of tax evasion.
    You Lose.

    Inquire about the location of their mother
    You find that you wife is currently "taking a nap with Bob." You walk in and discover that this oddly is the case they are just taking a nap. You wake them to find that Bob had felt so bad about the email he sent you he had come over eariler to appoligse in person. Only to find that you would not be home for several hours had fallen asleep. You wife had moved him some place more comfortable so that he would not injure his back or neck from sleeping in you very uncomfortable furniture. Late she herself had gotten a headache and had to lay down aswell.

    Unconvinced you murder your family and flee the country. You later join the Forign Legion kill osama bin laden and bring about world peace.

    You Lose

    Email Bob's Wife
    Bob isn't married stupid. That's why hes having sex with your family.
    You Lose


    Call the police
    You call the police and explain to them the situation with the threating email. You are promptly hung up on.

    Call the Mayor
    You are the Mayor. It is a very small town also.

    Build more residential
    The population of your town grows beyonds the means to support the people living it in. Lack of basic services such as food, water, and high speed internet cause the towns people to revolt. Needless to say you are not re-elected.
    You Lose?

    Build more commerical
    Your town builds the largest mall in the world. But no one ever comes and visits it because like I said this is a very small town. Probably in the middle of nowhere. Someplace like Africa or something. Anyway you're a failure as mayor and as Donald Trump would say....

    YOU'RE FIRED!


    Build more industrial
    Al Gore and Captain Planet come and protest the new factories built in your fair town. Pollution takes its toll and most of your population gets cancer. In the end you are eatten by Man Bear Pig.
    You Die....
    But your legacy of pollution will live on for generations. You Win!

    Write your Congressman
    As you make your way down to the mail room to send your letter you are acosted by ZOMBIE COWOKERS!?!?!?!?

    Fight?
    After years of watching zombie movies you know exactly how to kill zombies. You rip a keyboard tray off the nearest desk. You knock down the cloest zombies and run for the parking lot. On the way to kill several more zombies and several other co-workers you didn't much care for anyway but you "thought" they were zombie it anyone ever asks. You make it to your parking space. This is when you forgot that you took the bus to work today and are promptly overwhelmed by pissed of co-workers and zombies.
    You Die.

    Run?
    More Zombies are coming!!!
    Where too?
    Bathroom?
    You find the nearest unoccupied stall and sit down. In your last moments in this world you are reminded of that part in Jurrasic Park where that guy was eatten by the T-Rex while he was on the can. it is at this time the same fate befalls you but instead of a Dinosaur you are eatten by Zombies.
    You Die!
    Breakroom?
    You make it to the breakroom and lock the door. Oddly this keeps all the zombies at bay. You open the refridgerator and pull out your lunch. You spent the next our eatting a samich while listening to the screams of your co-workers as they are eatten by zombies.
    You Win! Samich's always win.



    Play Turbo Monkey Knife Fight 3k Alpha
    ENOUGH WITH THE MONKEYS ALREADY THEY ARE AT THE ZOO!
    Monkeys jump out of the screen and stab you to death.
    You die!


    Trash it
    You continue on with your day unaffected by the email thinking it is nothing more then Spam. Later in the day you have your annual review with your boss.

    Ask for a raise
    Your boss agrees that you do need a raise for all the good work you do for the company. However he also is a compulsive liar. Security then shows up and escorts you out of the building.


    Get a new job
    You find yourself working at the local fast food joint.

    Would you like fires with that?

    Yes
    Super Size?
    Yes?
    You die of Heart Failure.
    You Lose!
    No?
    You still die of Heart Failure just not quite as soon.
    You Lose!

    No
    Everyone wants Fries.
    You Lose!

    Live on the street
    What is your house made of?

    Paper?
    It starts to rain and you house quickly turns to mush. The rain also causes flash floods and you are washed away never to been seen again.
    You Lose.
    Plastic?
    What is this a grocery store? Homeless people don't live in plastic houses.
    You Lose because I'm getting sick of typing all this random nonsence. BTW Grath totally just got pwned by Satan in Bible fight. He was playing as Mary. http://www.adultswim.com/games/biblefight/index.html
    Well I guess you win if you found this link cause its pretty cool.


    Quit
    Quickly you discover that no matter how loudly you yell at your boss he will not accept your resignation. He then takes off his mask and reveals himself to be SATAN HIMSELF. You find you have already died and this is hell(not sparta). There is no esacpe and you must spend the rest of eternity now in a burning lake of fire listening to bad j-pop remixes of linkin park.
    FATE WORSE THEN DEATH YOU LOSE!

    Forward it to the entire company
    Go to jail. Do not pass go do not collect $200.
    Check your voice mail
    You have a voice mail from Bob you favorite client tell you to check your email.

    Head to the water cooler
    You see a laser knife weilding zombie monkey sitting on the water cooler are you sure?

    Yes
    You go and talk to the monkey for hours about how the last episode of Heroes and how Slyar is the coolest guy ever and how Peter hair makes him look emo.
    You Win I guess it doesn't even matter anymore.
    No
    You go and talk to the monkey for hours about how the last episode of American Idol. You take the laser knife from the Monkey and kill yourself.
    You Die.

    SoulFury on
  • Options
    GrathGrath I'm a much happier person these days Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2007
    man satan has hax in biblefight

    Grath on
  • Options
    GrathGrath I'm a much happier person these days Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2007
    man I just finally read that whole thing,
    holy shit my friend is fucked up.

    Grath on
Sign In or Register to comment.