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We're all just doing our best for our [Kids]

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Posts

  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    I have run into that and it's terrible and I hate it ugh it's the worst

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
    ChiselphaneSmrtnik
  • Drake ChambersDrake Chambers Lay out my formal shorts. Registered User regular
    We struggled with that frustration as well, typically when sending out invitations to our son's classmates. Then I think we kind of stumbled into the explanation, or a semi-solution, if you have the right circumstances.

    We had sent invites to his whole class (24 kids) and only received four responses within a two-week window. It was a few days before his party and my wife decided she'd extend the invitation to kids in his jiu-jitsu class, since it seemed like we were going to be way under-attended at that point. So she did, and suddenly we had 10 more kids coming.

    We're pretty sure the secret here is that the parents know who you are and are the ones that directly receive the invitation. We've hardly met the parents of any of his classmates, but we see and talk with the other jiu-jitsu parents a few times a week.

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    Chiselphanelonelyahavaceres
  • ChiselphaneChiselphane Registered User regular
    In our area not only does nobody RSVP, but on the times we've RSVP'd to someone else's event, they're so shocked that we've done it that it takes them a moment to realize what the call is about. It SUCKS because it's impossible to plan for. We've gone with planning for 20% turnout and even then we almost always end up with too much. Our neighbor had a party where they ended up just giving out entire pizzas to take home because of it.

    Drake's point of actually knowing the parents holds up though. People who I can put a face to are the ones that call and show up.

  • CogCog Registered User regular
    edited February 4
    In our area not only does nobody RSVP, but on the times we've RSVP'd to someone else's event, they're so shocked that we've done it that it takes them a moment to realize what the call is about. It SUCKS because it's impossible to plan for. We've gone with planning for 20% turnout and even then we almost always end up with too much. Our neighbor had a party where they ended up just giving out entire pizzas to take home because of it.

    Nobody likes to make phonecalls anymore.

    For Sprocket's last birthday, we booked a birthday party at a trampoline park. Their website sent e-invites, either through email or Facebook, and let people RSVP that way. 10 invites, 10 RSVPs, no issues. Just don't make people make phone calls.

    EDIT: Probably didn't hurt that we noted there would be enough pizza for parents who chose to stay.

    Cog on
    Thro
  • DisruptedCapitalistDisruptedCapitalist rugged, weathered Registered User regular
    Similarly, something's been eating up my 10-year-old lately:

    Her birthday is coming up, and we're planning on having a low-key event like we had last year with just two of her best friends and a few family. Last year, however, another friend had asked her if she could come to the party and she was surprised and didn't no how to respond and said, "no." She's been feeling guilty about it all year, and now that her birthday is coming again, she's remembering it again and feeling bad. My wife and I suggested that if it happens again, the best response would be, "do you want to be invited?" And if she said yes, to just go ahead and invite her. Of course that doesn't fix what happened though and she and that other girl haven't talked much since then. I feel bad for her, but I guess it's just life sometimes? We makes mistakes and try to do better next time.

  • ChiselphaneChiselphane Registered User regular
    Cog wrote: »
    In our area not only does nobody RSVP, but on the times we've RSVP'd to someone else's event, they're so shocked that we've done it that it takes them a moment to realize what the call is about. It SUCKS because it's impossible to plan for. We've gone with planning for 20% turnout and even then we almost always end up with too much. Our neighbor had a party where they ended up just giving out entire pizzas to take home because of it.

    Nobody likes to make phonecalls anymore.

    For Sprocket's last birthday, we booked a birthday party at a trampoline park. Their website sent e-invites, either through email or Facebook, and let people RSVP that way. 10 invites, 10 RSVPs, no issues. Just don't make people make phone calls.

    EDIT: Probably didn't hurt that we noted there would be enough pizza for parents who chose to stay.

    sigh yeah I keep forgetting I'm an old caveman apparently

    Cog
  • CogCog Registered User regular
    Cog wrote: »
    In our area not only does nobody RSVP, but on the times we've RSVP'd to someone else's event, they're so shocked that we've done it that it takes them a moment to realize what the call is about. It SUCKS because it's impossible to plan for. We've gone with planning for 20% turnout and even then we almost always end up with too much. Our neighbor had a party where they ended up just giving out entire pizzas to take home because of it.

    Nobody likes to make phonecalls anymore.

    For Sprocket's last birthday, we booked a birthday party at a trampoline park. Their website sent e-invites, either through email or Facebook, and let people RSVP that way. 10 invites, 10 RSVPs, no issues. Just don't make people make phone calls.

    EDIT: Probably didn't hurt that we noted there would be enough pizza for parents who chose to stay.

    sigh yeah I keep forgetting I'm an old caveman apparently

    I don't think it's a good trend, but it's still how things are becoming.

  • Drake ChambersDrake Chambers Lay out my formal shorts. Registered User regular
    Cross-posting from the jobs thread:

    We're probably still more than a year out from when my wife will start applying for jobs again but she's expressed anxiety about how difficult it might be to get back in to the job market after having taken a roughly 8-year hiatus as a stay-at-home-mom.

    Anyone here have any experience or advice in that area?

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  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Game Designer/Stay-at-home Dad Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    My daughter pulling off her best Daredevil impression...

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  • Capt HowdyCapt Howdy Registered User regular
    edited February 4
    Cross-posting from the jobs thread:

    We're probably still more than a year out from when my wife will start applying for jobs again but she's expressed anxiety about how difficult it might be to get back in to the job market after having taken a roughly 8-year hiatus as a stay-at-home-mom.

    Anyone here have any experience or advice in that area?

    While my wifey never had that long of a break, she once had a year break in employment after our first was born. The person she spoke with understood a first time mother taking a year off.

    Just being honest with the reason for the break is the best advice I have to give. Most people can wrap their heads around reasons people stop working for a spell if they believe the reason they are given.

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  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    The kids experienced snow for the first time in their lives today, and what a time it was! It’s been properly thick, fluffy snow, perfect for snowballs and races.

    2019-02-04%2008.09.29.jpg

    2019-02-04%2008.31.38.jpg

    2019-02-04%2013.27.58.jpg

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  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Cross-posting from the jobs thread:

    We're probably still more than a year out from when my wife will start applying for jobs again but she's expressed anxiety about how difficult it might be to get back in to the job market after having taken a roughly 8-year hiatus as a stay-at-home-mom.

    Anyone here have any experience or advice in that area?

    I am painfully familiar with that anxiety, and I'm dealing with it right now. It's awful. It's especially bad right now because I had mine straight out of my degree. I haven't had gainful employment in my field outside of the university, and not since then. It's scary, and hard to know where to start.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    Ours has been very "NOPE" with the snow so far. She experienced it last year, but was really too little to understand or remember. Now at 1.5 she's understands that this is different... and scary :P

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  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    Cross-posting from the jobs thread:

    We're probably still more than a year out from when my wife will start applying for jobs again but she's expressed anxiety about how difficult it might be to get back in to the job market after having taken a roughly 8-year hiatus as a stay-at-home-mom.

    Anyone here have any experience or advice in that area?

    Have you tried looking for organizations that can help with that? I know there are some out there right now and there may be some local organizations.
    I'd recommend a few things to start -
    1. Volunteer - it gets you back in the swing of working for someone and taking direction, plus networking!
    2. Network! It really is about who you know, so doing things like toastmasters or joining the local rotary/lions/chamber of commerce events is a great way to meet local business owners.
    3. Refresh - if she had an industry or career before she took time off - a lot has likely changed, but the fundamentals are likely the same. This can help a LOT towards re-integration as she may have valuable experience that's hard to get these days.
    4. Set appropriate expectations - prepare for a lot of rejection and search - this is true of all job searches, but it may feel personal here. Stay positive.

    JansonDrake ChambersDisruptedCapitalistSlacker71
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Nope I'mma sit here and be scared, preparation is for jerks

    Seriously though, it's something I need to start looking into over the next 6-9 months and I have no idea where to go with it and deal poorly with rejection. It's not a great area for the kind of work I went to school for, so I'll probably need to work out if that's the kind of job/cert I want to pursue. I could slide into something a little different with the right process/training (I keep coming back to ultrasound tech for some reason), but I need to commit to a thing and actually sign up for training. That's really the scary part, I'll likely be staring down the barrel of starting something just different enough to be somewhat new, and I didn't even have much experience with the old thing.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    Anya’s Super Doper Sald

    1 Lettce
    1 can of olives
    5 chairry tomaytoes

    Mix together
    Top with 2 avorcdos
    & sald dressing

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  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    My son's 1st birthday is tomorrow!

    He figured out how to walk yesterday!

    I'm gonna jump on the RSVP train and say it's honestly one of my most hated things about Millennials. I am a very strange millennial in that I RSVP to everything, whether I'm going or not. We're throwing a little birthday party on the weekend, mostly for our friends who've been around and helped since he was born and less than half have responded on the facebook event. Just click "going" if you're coming, or if you can't, or don't want to, click "can't go". I will not be upset that you declined my invitation, I'll be upset that you ignored it.

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  • RanlinRanlin Oh gosh Registered User regular
    pfft millenials don't use facebook anymore old man

    Thro
  • So It GoesSo It Goes We keep moving...Registered User regular
    I typically use evite

    it's nearly effortless for people to click "can't make it" or whatever

    ElvenshaeSelner
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    Yeah last year when it snowed my son was upset it got on his boots, this year we took a trek to downtown bothell and he caught some snow pokemon for his mom. And then he made my back sore by giving up on walking halfway home...

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

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  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Mortius is correct Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    I know the RSVP thing so well right now.

    Only 3 people have replied to Ellie's 3rd party on facebook and only 1 person from her daycare.

    we booked one of the community halls and even are renting a small bouncy castle from them.

    for so far all of 4 kids.

    she's going to be crushed if some of the kids from school don't come.

  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    That kind of "no one showed up" is why I am super hesitant to do a group party with my son. We attended one of the parties we were invited to, but declined the other one recently because I had something I was doing and didn't want my wife to parent alone in a crowd.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

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  • JaysonFourJaysonFour Classy Monster Kitteh Registered User regular
    Janson wrote: »
    The kids experienced snow for the first time in their lives today, and what a time it was! It’s been properly thick, fluffy snow, perfect for snowballs and races.

    2019-02-04%2008.09.29.jpg

    2019-02-04%2008.31.38.jpg

    2019-02-04%2013.27.58.jpg

    Just wait until they find out about snow days. All the fluffy snow to play in and no school to take away from it... them sticking close to the TV on snowy days hoping to hear those magic words from the news...

    Though it stinks when it gets too cold for them to enjoy- we had an entire week off because of the vortex, and my niece about went nuts because of it- it wasn't easy trying to tell her "no, you can't go outside and play in the snow and make a snowman or any of those other things you love to do because you'll turn into a kid-cicle after about fifteen minutes". Kids tend not to understand "-40F wind chill", they just understand "I want to play in the snow but mommy and uncle Jay-Jay said no! (*cue half-hour long tantrum or until we put on Scooby Doo*)".

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  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Mortius is correct Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    like, she'll have our family friends with kids there.

    but, what if none of her friends from daycare that she's SUPER excited to invite to her party don't show up?

    I don't know how to cope with that.

  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    My son's 4th birthday party went so badly I resolved not to do something like that again. This year we kind of lucked out, I asked who he wanted at his party and invited the kids he could name, there were maybe two or three. One happened to have some event in the morning with a bunch of other kids/parents from his class, so I asked if they could confirm with a couple of the people who had been maybes. They did and asked if there was anyone else and I was like 'you know what, just tell everyone there he's playing at the park for his birthday and whoever wants to come can.' In the end with kids and parents there were a ton of people.

    I had told him I'd invited the people he asked about but with the possibility of last-minute cancellations or no-shows I didn't want to say for sure. I told him I'd spoken to his best friend's dad that morning, and that kid was definitely in. I had bought a ton of classic Legos to bring to the park with us, and a few bubble guns, and there was a playground, so I figured that even if we got only a few people there were the ingredients there for a pretty decent day. I way overbought some stuff and underbought others, but we were down the street from a store and it was fine. The one kid I was almost sure wouldn't come was of course the one with the gluten sensitivity, so I went and bought a second cake for him, and one of the kids who came was allergic to everything but gluten so I got him the stuff to make smores.

    It was a crazy, exhausting day, and I'm really terrible with people and nervous around his friends' parents, and it was a lot of running around to the store and back twice, but I think he had a good day. Honestly, it didn't seem like he had any worse a day than the kids in his class who throw these huge parties. It was so stressful on the actual day because there was almost no planning in place, but going in with no expectations was such a big deal for us under the circumstances because he remembered the previous year being pretty bad. In the end it worked out, but if it had gone anything like his 4th I would have said 'fuck it no more parties we're just going to go out to lunch with the people in this apartment.' That was traumatic all around.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • ASimPersonASimPerson Cold... ... and hard.Registered User regular
    My parents solved this problem by basically not having birthday parties for my brother and I.

    ... come to think of it, that may be why I'm one of the few people I know as an adult that ropes their friends every year into doing something for my birthday.

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  • MulysaSemproniusMulysaSempronius but also susie nyRegistered User regular
    My daughter has.. so many friends. I don't know where she gets it, but she is a social butterfly. So parties are somewhat easy, as we know most of the parents and they like her.
    For her little brother... I don't know any of his friends' parents.
    For his recent 3rd, I literally went through the daycare email list and sent out through paperless post. Sent one RSVP reminder and one " remember to come" reminder, and got a decent amount of responses. When I went through the numbers, we had over 20 with siblings, and I started to freak out. Thank goodness we had a few drop out. It was nice to finally meet some parents, though.

    If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
  • ElbasunuElbasunu Registered User regular
    After decades of me poo-pooing the show/toys, my son started watching Beyblade (Burst Evolution) on Netflix, and it was OK. The VA was ok/good. The show is just kids playing a competitive sport. Good sportsmanship stuff. So I said "well, if I see a good deal on a starter set, I'll get it, but these things are so pricey I doubt that'll happen." Well that friday we found a set for 15 bucks, and thread...

    ...it turns out spinning tops that smash into each other and explode are fucking rad.

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  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    kime wrote: »
    Ours has been very "NOPE" with the snow so far. She experienced it last year, but was really too little to understand or remember. Now at 1.5 she's understands that this is different... and scary :P

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  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    Brody wrote: »
    kime wrote: »
    Ours has been very "NOPE" with the snow so far. She experienced it last year, but was really too little to understand or remember. Now at 1.5 she's understands that this is different... and scary :P
    t6hwt6jc8zix.jpg

    YES THIS hahaha

    I was able to get her to walk a little bit in the snow by promising to carry her after she took a few steps. Victory?

    Interesting idea I heard last night, though, is to just bring in buckets of snow and put them in a bathtub or such. Then you can play with snow without having to worry about the cold, scary outside and some kids go for that a bunch more apparently? We may try it today.

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  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    I'll maybe try it when I get home. I think partly Sapling just really doesn't like feeling restrained, and the snow clothes make it a lot harder to move.

    "The shore does not dream of you." - Blind poet Gallan.
    kime
  • SelnerSelner Registered User regular
    Elbasunu wrote: »
    After decades of me poo-pooing the show/toys, my son started watching Beyblade (Burst Evolution) on Netflix, and it was OK. The VA was ok/good. The show is just kids playing a competitive sport. Good sportsmanship stuff. So I said "well, if I see a good deal on a starter set, I'll get it, but these things are so pricey I doubt that'll happen." Well that friday we found a set for 15 bucks, and thread...

    ...it turns out spinning tops that smash into each other and explode are fucking rad.

    My older son has never watched the show, but he's familiar with the concept. He builds his own spinny things out of legos, and then spins them around... everywhere.

    I think there are some kids at school that are more in to it than he is, and they make spinny things at their aftercare "free time". The move the tables in the multi-purpose room and spin all over.

  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Elbasunu wrote: »
    After decades of me poo-pooing the show/toys, my son started watching Beyblade (Burst Evolution) on Netflix, and it was OK. The VA was ok/good. The show is just kids playing a competitive sport. Good sportsmanship stuff. So I said "well, if I see a good deal on a starter set, I'll get it, but these things are so pricey I doubt that'll happen." Well that friday we found a set for 15 bucks, and thread...

    ...it turns out spinning tops that smash into each other and explode are fucking rad.

    Ninjago toys are about the same, basically fancy tops. I don't want to get started with Beyblades because there are so much more of them, and I'm going to end up in another situation where I feel compelled to buy things for him every time I pass by them.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
    Elbasunu
  • SyphonBlueSyphonBlue Registered User regular
    Both my kids absolutely love snow and sledding. Can't get enough of it.

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  • DisruptedCapitalistDisruptedCapitalist rugged, weathered Registered User regular
    edited February 5
    My daughter's principal sent around this the other day:
    Fortnite- Fortnite's popularity is still pretty strong among elementary aged students. Along with that, we have seen many negative student interactions resulting from this game. The first issue we have seen with this game is that young children are being exposed to inappropriate language through the chat rooms. Second, the overall goal of the game is to be the last person standing by way of killing the other people with a variety of weapons. We have seen kids re-enacting Fortnite at recess and it does not go well. Every family has their own threshold for what is allowed to be played at home or while at a friends house. I would encourage families that allow their child to play Fortnite to monitor what their child is seeing and to take a moment to watch their child play to see first hand what happens in the game.

    It's funny that my daughter has no interest in it, but I suppose that comes from having a father who introduced her to games like Stardew Valley, Thomas was Alone, and Chrono Trigger at a young age. She knows quality!

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  • CogCog Registered User regular
    @lonelyahava I didn't recognize you for like two days because of the avatar change.

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  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    Http:// pleasepaypreacher.net
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  • HenroidHenroid Radio Demon Internet HellRegistered User regular
    My daughter's principal sent around this the other day:
    Fortnite- Fortnite's popularity is still pretty strong among elementary aged students. Along with that, we have seen many negative student interactions resulting from this game. The first issue we have seen with this game is that young children are being exposed to inappropriate language through the chat rooms. Second, the overall goal of the game is to be the last person standing by way of killing the other people with a variety of weapons. We have seen kids re-enacting Fortnite at recess and it does not go well. Every family has their own threshold for what is allowed to be played at home or while at a friends house. I would encourage families that allow their child to play Fortnite to monitor what their child is seeing and to take a moment to watch their child play to see first hand what happens in the game.

    It's funny that my daughter has no interest in it, but I suppose that comes from having a father who introduced her to games like Stardew Valley, Thomas was Alone, and Chrono Trigger at a young age. She knows quality!
    This is really good advice and fairly worded. I've had arguments with people on Twitter and such, because they think Fortnite criticism (when it comes to kids playing it) is the stepping stone for "all video games are bad." Unsurprisingly these are people who do not have nor aren't around children all day long.

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  • SelnerSelner Registered User regular
    SyphonBlue wrote: »
    Both my kids absolutely love snow and sledding. Can't get enough of it.

    Oh yeah, kids and sledding.

    At 7 and 5, this was the first year my kids really went sledding.
    Last year they did a little bit on the super small hill between our house and the neighbor's. It's enough of a hill that they could get moving.

    This year, we have graduated to the "Playground Hill", which is actually a decent size hill.
    It was almost sad that they didn't need my help getting up and down. I would just stand at the top and push them when they came back.

    For a previous snow one of the neighbor kids built a bump/ramp at the bottom.
    That bump scared the fool out of me. I was convinced my kids were going to fly off and break something. But it turned out OK, and now they want a bump every time they go sledding.
    I did forbid face-first sledding on the bump. That just feels like a recipe for knocked out teeth.

    And this is probably the last year my older son will be able to sit in my lap on the sled :( .
    We have three of these things: https://www.amazon.com/Best-Choice-Products-Toboggan-Available/dp/B01MDM5BWF/ref=sr_1_13?ie=UTF8&qid=1549390334&sr=8-13&keywords=sled&th=1

    Riding with them while they are laughing and giggling is probably one of the best things in life.

  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    edited February 5
    I'm planning on taking my kids skiing for the first time this weekend. :D They're 7 and 3 - and the place has a decent "Learn to Ski with Me!" class for the little ones.* And if they end up not liking it, they've also got an inner tubing park with big slides and baby slides.

    Weather is looking good - clear and right at the freezing mark.

    I am so excited.

    * I think it's the one where you basically ski with them in front of you on a leash, which is TOTALLY ADORABLE every time I've seen it before.

    Elvenshae on
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    The Disappearance of Inigo Sharpe: Tomas à Dunsanin
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