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We're all just doing our best for our [Kids]

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Posts

  • the wookthe wook Registered User regular
    m!ttens wrote: »
    Mrs Mittens just forwarded me an article about the World Health Organization updating guidelines on screen-time for little ones. The updated guidelines are basically no screen-time whatsoever for babies less than 2 years and up to one hour "sedentary" screen-time allowed per day for children 2-5.

    Our little one just turned 5 months and while we aren't giving her any dedicated screen time she sure loves looking at the TV when we're watching a show or a baseball game or will actively turn her head to look at my monitors when I'm holding her while on my computer. I'm guessing this isn't what those pinball wizards at the WHO are referring to since we're still interacting with her and the screen is not her sole focus. I'm guessing this is more like handing off a phone/tablet or propping them in front of the TV to watch Sesame Street.

    Since she's starting to be more active and able to hold attention for longer spans now I'm sure this issue will start to crop up soon enough. What's everyone's policy around screens with their kids? Ages, activities, limitations, etc.? I understand why these recommendations are as such, but I feel like kids also need to learn how to use technology in the world. My parents bought an Apple IIgs when I was only a few years old and I credit my comfort with and interest in computers and tech to being able to play with and use technology as a young child.

    My 2 year old daughter gets ~30 minutes of screen time after dinner. >95% of the time, this is her watching Little Baby Bum (children's songs with CGI characters) on the Xbox. Depending on her mood, sometimes she'll sit quietly and watch, sometimes she'll sing and dance, and sometimes she won't actually pay much attention. Beyond that, she gets more leeway when she's sick. When she really doesn't have the energy to play, I have no issues letting her have an afternoon with the screen. Generally speaking, she gets bored with it before too long anyway. Additionally, when she needs some sort of extra care (antibiotic eye drops, snot sucking, etc.) we will sometimes use our phones to pacify her into sitting still. Maybe not the best precedent, but sometimes pragmatism wins. She also has a Leap Frog computer/tablet which is technically a screen but is entirely interactive, and I don't consider that an issue.

    My 7 month old gets no dedicated screen time. However, both kids are often in the room when football and hockey are on, and both have had times when they're happy to sit and watch. If they are sitting and watching sports with me, I generally try to interact with them in the context.

  • PeenPeen tw1tch0rz occasionallyRegistered User regular
    My kids know so, so much stuff because of good educational TV shows. I don't believe in indiscriminate screen time and I think parents have a responsibility to know what's in the media their kids are consuming but I truly believe good media has real value.

    mosssnackSlacker71lonelyahavaDevlin_DragonusDisruptedCapitalistElvenshaeSmrtnikThro
  • NogginNoggin Registered User regular
    MNC Dover wrote: »
    My daughter watches a lot of youtube which made me feel like I was a terrible parent for the longest time. Then we got to preschool and she knew way more about numbers, colors, letters, and shapes than her classmates. Yeah, so it might be bad she watches stuff, but at least it was educational?

    We try to limit it and encourage play for our 2y/o, and we’re lucky that he loves playing outside and will drop whatever to do so.

    But our experience so far seems similar to yours. As he started talking a lot more we discovered that even though his preference is for silly, animated truck videos, he was actually learning a lot about the same things you mentioned, especially colors.

    More recently we were able to kinda transition that enthusiasm and get him excited about a toy car garage, which quickly became his go-to toy.

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  • Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo But do you really believe him? Registered User regular
    edited April 25
    Burpette is three and gets about half an hour of screens a week which is usually chatting to her grandparents or an episode or two of Down On the Farm pre-dinner on a Saturday or Sunday

    Plenty of my friends plonk their kids down in front of the TV for an hour or so a day and have been doing so since basically birth which I find pretty abhorrent. I know I shouldn't judge but I vividly remember a friend whatsapping me a photo of her kid celebrating his first birthday by them pushing his high chair up to the TV so he basically had the full Peppa pig IMAX experience during breakfast

    Mojo_Jojo on
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  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    kime wrote: »
    Brody wrote: »
    I prefer to take the approach that Mike pointed out in one of his news posts. Its less about whether or not a screen is on, and more what/how your child is interacting with the content. If the kid is learning something useful through their interaction, then they should be able to spend more time on it than if they are watching teletubbies or w/e.

    I get that, but I have a pretty similar perspective here as I do with languages. We speak to my daughter pretty exclusively in Chinese. She can say, like, "doggie" in English and some animal sounds (because I never learned those in Chinese :P ). I 100% want her to grow up fluent in two languages. I sometimes get questions about just teaching her Chinese, and it really just comes down to: she's growing up in America. She's going to learn English 100% without me having to try. In fact, I'm pretty confident that pretty soon I'm going to have to try hard to get her to speak anything but English.

    In a similar way, I know that I spend a lot of time in front of a screen. When she's growing up, I'm pretty confident her life will be pervasive with screens. I have no doubt in my mind that she will get plenty of screen time in her life, even when she's young. I want to make sure that I'm putting 100% of my focus for her to be doing other things, so that she at least has some fundamentals in that before she gets older.

    Also, I know that screens can be pretty addictive. So again, I'm really not worried that she's not gonna get enough screen time, my priority is limiting that as much as possible.

    She's.... 22 months old now. Almost 2. She gets <10 minutes or so of Facetime a week on average, because her grandparents live in a different country. Maybe she gets to play with a phone (pushing buttons to turn it on and off or whatever) on rare occasions, easily less than once a week. Maybe 1-2 a month, probably less. She's watched a couple episodes of like, Peppa Pig while at a friends' house (because I'm not going to tell my friend they aren't allowed to let their child watch TV...). So we really stick with as close to no screen time as we can. That's not going to just change at 2. Like, I just can't imagine sticking her in front of a TV for "sedentary" screen time for an hour a day when she turns two. Not for a long time.

    My daughter is like a month younger than yours, and I don't really give her any dedicated screen time. Maybe a sesame street episode or something while I have to run and pee. But I know that she's in the room with the TV somewhat often, and I have no idea how often my wife puts on stuff for her vs just watching whatever she would normally watch. I think that there is value in letting her mess with my phone from time to time, as technological ability is going to be expected of this generation, and I don't want to inhibit her, but at the same time she is way too young to really have significant access to stuff.

    "I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."

    The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited April 25
    My kids watch far, far too much TV by just about any standard and maybe it just depends on the kid? I've heard from a number of places that children don't learn anything from screens when they're under two, that they need to be interacting with people in order to learn, and even if they look like they're learning they're really not because it's from a screen. And I really think that's bunk. A whole lot of bunk. It just flies in the face of everything I've seen with my kids, who have learned so much. I've always had a good handle on what they watch, but frankly I had some nightmarish PPD and for quite a while it was a necessity. Sure I could have sat there and done nothing but played with him, I was technically home, but I dunno. I guess I was too busy being curled up in a ball on the living room floor all day.

    It gets me because sometimes there are reasons people can't interact with their kids (or have another person interacting with them) 24/7/365. This kind of thing can contribute to bad PPD, I know feeling like I was the worst mom ever because I sat him down in front of Pixar all day and what would good parents say made things a hell of a lot worse for me. I could never have held down a job and that makes daycare because I'm having a hard time coping kind of unrealistic, money-wise. When I saw that he was learning, and that as long as I paid close attention to what he was watching it wasn't wrecking his cognitive function, I stopped worrying about it so much. But it's definitely a bit of a sore spot even still.

    They don't have tablets or phones or whatever and they won't for a long, long time, but TV and movies with no commercials? Yeah they'll be fine.

    ceres on
    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
    Nogginlonelyahava
  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    Anya and Niko (now 7 and 4) get a fair amount of screentime.

    It was very easy to limit Anya when she was under the age of 2. It’s been harder since there’s been two of them and they’ve grown older.

    Anya’s old enough now to play games and chat with people. 90% of her screentime is interactive in some way (even if 50% of it is begging her aunt for more videos of her aunt’s new kitten).

    Niko plays... a lot of Smash.

    Much of the screentime is also family time; we all played Dragon Quest 11 together and we play Ace Attorney together. I read the latter out loud to Niko, and if my voice gets tired, Anya takes over.

    But... of course Anya is at school for 7 hours a day during the week, and Niko gets a lot of outdoor time (they both do). So overall I feel as if it’s sufficiently balanced.

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  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Game Designer/Stay-at-home Dad Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    Now that Abigail is in preschool, she’s only getting screen time before bed for about an hour or so. Not bad really. She gets more on the weekends depending on where our “I can’t take this shit anymore” meters are at.

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  • mosssnackmosssnack Yeah right, man, Bishop should go! Good idea!Registered User regular
    We limit screen time as much as we can. We monitor everything they watch or try to select.

    Sometimes though, I just need to spend the day catching up on laundry and shit, so they’ll end up with a bit more screen time.

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  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    The only TV we have is in our bedroom upstairs, so that undoubtedly helps her not think of TV as "something to do" often.

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  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Ellie gets a LOT of screen time in comparison to most I'm sure.

    But, she's learning.

    Shapes, colours, numbers, words, concepts, far better than I could teach her. She was talking super young and I attribute that to both her using sign and also some screen time. We very very rarely had a bad tantrum during her second year because she can communicate so much better.

    Hey imagination has taken off like a rocket and a lot of her play is in conjunction with the videos she gets.

    We watch Super Wings after daycare and then when daddy gets home, we get out the Lego or Duplo and build the planes to have adventures with.

    My mum is fond of telling a story that I only ever watched sesame street at home, but came home from daycare playing Thundercats.

    Ellie knows who Elsa is despite having never seen Frozen.

    There are some videos that I don't like her watching and she turns them off. But the majority of what she watches is fine.

    Peppa Pig
    Ben and Holly
    PJ Masks
    Super Wings
    Little Baby Bus
    Cocomelon
    Blippi
    Little Angels
    Whatever Chinese based kids thing that has Kiki and Miumiu and Little Sweety
    Fireman Sam
    Paw Patrol

    All of these give her something to learn and interact with. And I'm fine with that.

    Side note, Ben and Holly use quite a few of the same voice actors as Peppa Pig. Toys can be very confusing at first of you're only listening to the video.

    MNC Dover
  • Devlin_DragonusDevlin_Dragonus Gorgeous Dallas, TXRegistered User regular
    Peanut is 21 months, he gets a fair amount of screen time but it is hard to quantify.

    There is definitely a lot of quality screen time (baby sign time, Spanish nursery rhymes, other educational stuff) and there is screen time like his obsession with CARS.

    But each child is different, Peanut is super active, loves playing in his cardboard house and kitchen, loves driving his cars around, he is so imaginative and his "non productive/non quality" screen time (watching CARS) has helped develop his personality.

    The other side is how quickly he knows, at 21 months, how to navigate a tablet, smart phone or ipod touch to get to the youtube app.

    I got nothing for you now. Try again later.

  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    I also feel a little bad because our house is super small, and I need to put molding up around the doors so that we can let her out of our living room without worrying about whatever is hiding in the gaps in the door framing, and my wife isn't a super outdoorsy person, so she spends a lot of time trapped in a relatively small area. At least its filled with toys though.

    "I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."

    The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    mosssnack wrote: »
    We limit screen time as much as we can. We monitor everything they watch or try to select.

    Sometimes though, I just need to spend the day catching up on laundry and shit, so they’ll end up with a bit more screen time.

    Seriously, sometimes I tell them to watch TV so I can get ten minutes in which to vacuum/sweep without them immediately treading some new piece of dirt (which their feet seem to magically generate) onto the carpet/laminate.

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  • MulysaSemproniusMulysaSempronius but also susie nyRegistered User regular
    Try to keep shows to the weekend. We don't have a TV, so it's easier to keep off. My main problem is that the 5 year old knows she can watch Pokemon on my phone, and gets up early on weekends to catch an episode.
    One advantage of the city is all of the things to do, and the nearby playgrounds

    If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    My daughter is convinced that the entire purpose of my phone is to play Baby Shark. Also she's started singing every once in a while, and it is the cutest thing ever.

    "I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."

    The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
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  • EntriechEntriech Registered User regular
    Does anyone refer to their own outcome/childhood screen time experience when making these decisions? Like, as a child of the 80s there was always a TV in the home, and uniquely there was also a computer, too. And I don't recall much in the way of limits when it came to either one. In fact a lot of unfettered access to the Commodore-64 when I was young ended up leading me into a career in programming.

    Our daughter is 4.5 right now, and I'd guess she gets maybe 1 hour or a bit more of TV every day. A lot of times it's because after a full day of activity at school, she comes home and needs to wind down from everything she's learned there. It's not unrestricted, mind you. It's typically Netflix, or something I've got on my PC. We vet what she watches, and while we try to steer her towards more educational programming (Wild Kratts, Peg+Cat, Super Why, etc) we don't forbid her from consuming other stuff (She-ra, Danger Mouse, Hilda). Only a few things are verboten (Paw Patrol). She also plays games from time to time, from learning apps or small bouts of Fruit Ninja on a phone or tablet, to Mario Odyssey on the Switch, to Donut County on my PC. Donut County was ridiculously effective in teaching her rudimentary mouse skills, and is a fantastic game for kids. She's gotten noticeably better at manipulating a controller since she started playing Mario Odyssey.

    In general, we mostly watch out that screens don't dominate her day, and moderate what she gets based on that. If every sentence out of her mouth is about wanting to watch TV, she's going to get less TV. If she starts throwing tantrums when it's time to put something way, or if she doesn't get access to a screen, she's going to get less.

    I was googling around for "Were parents worried about screen time in the 80s" and stumbled onto this piece which was an interesting read. A lot of the points made spoke to me, especially regarding this being more of a parental guilt problem than a kid problem.

    JansonDrake ChambersDisruptedCapitalistmrpakukime#pipeMNC DoverceresChiselphaneBanzai5150
  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    Yeah, when ours is older she's definitely going to have a lot more screen time than now, if only because I want to play games with her :D.

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  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    I have been in bed all day with some kind of Norovirus or food poisoning or SOMETHING that is making my stomach contents evacuate by the nearest route.

    I haven't had anything like this in decades. I mentioned it on Facebook and some mom friends very helpfully commented "look forward to it happening way more often with a toddler in the house"

    I really hope my wife and bean don't get it. Shit sucks. And it's compounded by a cold we've all had for a week.

  • RanlinRanlin Oh gosh Registered User regular
    I definitely err toward more screen time than is the general recommendation, but not blindly.

    None of it is TV, we don't have any service for it at all, so any shows are through Netflix or the PBS Kids app or something, which avoids horrendous advertisement exposure. Youtube watching is pretty heavily restricted at this point, and most of what she chooses to watch is pretty clearly educational stuff.

    I'm very lenient on the amount of time because she very rarely just sits and watches, and that happens mostly when it's the very educational things that she's wanting to learn. Most of the time she'll have a decent+ show on while doing some art or building with LEGO or something similar. A story she can pick up on in pieces while she primarily engages with something else.

    Or we're playing a game together.

    And she'll never turn down doing something else, especially outside. If she ever started to prefer it / get grumpy without watching something I would absolutely change things, though.

    Even small amounts of time is a horrible idea without any supervision over what they're watching though.

  • DisruptedCapitalistDisruptedCapitalist rugged, weathered Registered User regular
    Nothing worse than when you're kid wakes you up at 3am because they feel sick, you give them Tylenol and then they immediately throw it all back up. Now she feels even more horrible and I don't know if I can give here any more medicine since I don't know how much actually stayed inside her.

    Very very tired...

    407aag2enoe3.png

  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Entriech wrote: »
    I was googling around for "Were parents worried about screen time in the 80s" and stumbled onto this piece which was an interesting read. A lot of the points made spoke to me, especially regarding this being more of a parental guilt problem than a kid problem.

    Oh boy does this ever. It's funny because my kindergartner watches Ninjago and also plays zombie tag, I guess some things are just universal. I'm letting him show me Ninjago now, and I have to admit, once you get past the [generic power name] stuff, it's actually pretty decent. So far I've been able to guess some of the morals to come along, but also I think I'm kind of a downer. In one of the first episodes I remember saying of the good guys "wow they kind of suck right now." He said "they do not! they're good guys!" And I'm like "dude, they left a young kid at a crappy arcade and then completely forgot about him and went home. Can you imagine if he actually had stayed put and realized late in the evening that he'd been forgotten?" And he's like "okay, but they're still good guys and don't suck." And I'm like "yeah whatever, it's totally irresponsible." And he said "what's responsible mean?" I know he knows the answer to that, btw. I explained that Lloyd was left in their care, it was their job to make sure he was okay and they didn't even bother to do it.

    We had a talk about what that meant, and it doesn't matter if he's a ninja, he's still a kid who can't imagine anything better than a pile of candy and gets read bedtime stories at night. He still needs love and care. We had similar talks about My Little Pony. I must be just the worst to watch that stuff with, but he still wants to share it with me and that makes me happy.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
    Slacker71
  • Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo But do you really believe him? Registered User regular
    Actually a friend of mine just wrote a book on this topic (more specifically around games). I should probably read that, or just ask him what the deal is, given he's a world expert in this type of thing.

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  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    Fevers all week wife out if town so single dadding it at home. Christ, even deeper respect for people who do this every day.

    I am in the business of saving lives.
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  • MulysaSemproniusMulysaSempronius but also susie nyRegistered User regular
    Nothing worse than when you're kid wakes you up at 3am because they feel sick, you give them Tylenol and then they immediately throw it all back up. Now she feels even more horrible and I don't know if I can give here any more medicine since I don't know how much actually stayed inside her.

    Very very tired...

    Generally, if you're concerned about the fever, going for ibuprofen is a good idea if your not sure how much Tylenol they retained. Tylenol, while useful as prescribed, is so bad if you get too much.

    If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
    mrpakuPeen
  • DisruptedCapitalistDisruptedCapitalist rugged, weathered Registered User regular
    edited April 26
    Good point, though sadly I didn't have any kids' Ibuprofen around (come to think of it isn't Ibuprofen bad for stomachs?) Anyway, she's seems better this morning and even ate most of her breakfast (toast), though we're keeping her home from school just in case.

    Good luck to the rest of you going through this today!

    DisruptedCapitalist on
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  • EntriechEntriech Registered User regular
    Ibuprofen can be a little bit harder on the stomach, but it isn't very significant, and we generally use both tylenol and ibuprofen when managing our kid's pain or fever. Mostly because they work in entirely different ways, so you can alternate them and be confident that a medication has completely cleared the system before re-dosing with it.

    Tylenol and Ibuprofen being compatible is useful as well as an adult, as you can take them simultaneously.


    Slacker71Maguano
  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    Good point, though sadly I didn't have any kids' Ibuprofen around (come to think of it isn't Ibuprofen bad for stomachs?) Anyway, she's seems better this morning and even ate most of her breakfast (toast), though we're keeping her home from school just in case.

    Good luck to the rest of you going through this today!

    When Sapling had her cleft palate surgery they had us do alternating doses of Tylenol and Ibuprofen, which I've also had a doctor recommend to me.

    "I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."

    The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
  • m!ttensm!ttens Registered User regular
    Thanks everyone for sharing your opinions and parenting styles around screen time. This really is the best parenting forum on the interwebs :heartbeat:

    DisruptedCapitalistDrake ChambersElvenshaemosssnackSlacker71lonelyahavaDevlin_DragonusJaysonFour
  • DisruptedCapitalistDisruptedCapitalist rugged, weathered Registered User regular
    Yeah, speaking of screen time. Since my little one is sick today I kept her out of school, but I still have a lot of work to do, so sadly she's been watching TV all morning. Hopefully if she feels better in the afternoon I can take her outside to play a little bit.

    407aag2enoe3.png

  • PeenPeen tw1tch0rz occasionallyRegistered User regular
    I forgot about the music aspect of screentime but man, if your little kids spend some time in front of Backyardigans/Wonderpets/Little Einstein I can guarantee you will notice a difference in how much they sing. 100% would recommend, A+ very cute (also good for their brains, probably, some research about kids and music says).

    ceres
  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    Is there a list out there for good kids shows to watch on the various services?

    "I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."

    The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
  • PeenPeen tw1tch0rz occasionallyRegistered User regular
    I believe you'll find "good" to be a slippery enough idea that you'd probably do better asking for recommendations from people you know and trust than trying to find a list.

    ChiselphaneMusicDragondavidsdurions
  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    Peen wrote: »
    I forgot about the music aspect of screentime but man, if your little kids spend some time in front of Backyardigans/Wonderpets/Little Einstein I can guarantee you will notice a difference in how much they sing. 100% would recommend, A+ very cute (also good for their brains, probably, some research about kids and music says).

    Yeah, we play music all the time. She's started singing and dancing recently and it's sooooooo cute!

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  • HardtargetHardtarget There Are Four Lights VancouverRegistered User regular
    edited April 26
    Brody wrote: »
    Is there a list out there for good kids shows to watch on the various services?
    I can tell you what I'm ok with:

    Netflix:
    Ask the Storybots
    Peppa Pig
    The Backyardigans
    Super Why
    Simon
    Super Monsters
    Max and Ruby
    Llama Llama
    Charlie's Colorforms City
    Super Wings
    The Magic School Bus Rides Again
    Beat Bugs
    Treehouse Detectives
    The Octonauts
    PJ Masks
    Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom
    Puffin Rock

    PBS:
    Curious George
    Daniel Tiger
    Sesame Street

    Amazon prime:
    Wishenpoof
    Pete the Cat
    Little People

    I'm sure I'm forgetting other stuff, also this is all Canada.

    Hardtarget on
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  • DisruptedCapitalistDisruptedCapitalist rugged, weathered Registered User regular
    edited April 26
    It's also been mentioned before but Tumbleleaf on Amazon Prime is also an excellent show. They've taken stop motion to a whole new level. The plots are also a sneaky way to teach the scientific method, since in each episode the main characters discover new things, make hypotheses about them, and then experiment.

    DisruptedCapitalist on
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  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    Yo Gabba Gabba is on Amazon Prime and it's excellent

    Chiselphane
  • MorivethMoriveth Just my luck! There's a phone between these rocks! Registered User regular
    Just don't watch Caillou. That kid can go to hell.

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  • PeenPeen tw1tch0rz occasionallyRegistered User regular
    Wonder Pets and Backyardigans are also on Amazon Prime and they are really great for pre-schoolers.

  • ChiselphaneChiselphane Registered User regular
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Just don't watch Caillou. That kid can go to hell.

    Caillou means 'unwanted child' in Old French.

This discussion has been closed.