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Penny Arcade - Comic - Sustenance

DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
edited July 2018 in The Penny Arcade Hub

imagePenny Arcade - Comic - Sustenance

Videogaming-related online strip by Mike Krahulik and Jerry Holkins. Includes news and commentary.

Read the full story here


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    Skull2185Skull2185 Registered User regular
    I might be severely under-utilizing my Prime account... I can get pizza rolls priority delivered same day??

    Everyone has a price. Throw enough gold around and someone will risk disintegration.
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    dennisdennis aka bingley Registered User regular
    edited July 2018
    Skull2185 wrote: »
    I might be severely under-utilizing my Prime account... I can get pizza rolls priority delivered same day??

    Every time my wife and I get the idea to do something like this - mainly involving ice cream late at night - we're always brought back down to reality. Maybe it's better where they're at, but I live in the first ring suburb of a metropolis, okay? I don't remember exactly what, but there's always some bullshit hurdle or the other that makes getting in the car and going to the store always a betterless bad option.

    dennis on
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    zeromhzeromh Registered User regular
    Skull, it's Prime Now. 2-3 hour delivery available in select cities. Been around for several years now. I can tell you, if you live in one of those cities, it's the best thing ever.

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    DemonStaceyDemonStacey TTODewback's Daughter In love with the TaySwayRegistered User regular
    he was delivering pizza rolls to a man whose body was already a kind of bipedal pizza roll.

    Best joke was hidden in the news post.

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    Commander ZoomCommander Zoom Registered User regular
    *looks over receipt*
    Wow. That's pretty much me.

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    KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular


    oddly, my wife is also out of town this week, and I did basically the same thing, though with pizza delivery. Both times this has happened, I've ordered too much pizza, I leave the room for a minute after eating, and my dog sneaks up on the table/couch, knocks the pizza onto the floor, eats 3-4 slices, then lies down and pretends nothing happened when I come back.

    It's a good thing for both of us that my wife doesn't go out of town very often.

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    dennisdennis aka bingley Registered User regular
    KalTorak wrote: »
    my dog sneaks up on the table/couch, knocks the pizza onto the floor, eats 3-4 slices, then lies down and pretends nothing happened when I come back

    I assume you were afraid of scolding him for fear of collapsing into a hypocrisy implosion.

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    Golden YakGolden Yak Burnished Bovine The sunny beaches of CanadaRegistered User regular
    Amazon Delivery Guy is great. I think he might be my favorite minor character.

    H9f4bVe.png
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    faitsfaits a panda eating cake seattleRegistered User regular
    If you don't order anything that needs to be refrigerated or frozen, prime now will just leave your shame on the doorstep and any actual human contact is removed from the equation.

    Amateur.

    faits.png
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    Twenty SidedTwenty Sided Registered User regular
    Tycho wrote:
    Once he drank Sprite for months - I mean, like, in lieu of water - and his urine became thick and rich, like Mrs. Butterworth’s. If left alone, I have no doubt that tiny crystal cities would rise from the thickest part of the puddle.

    Never change, Jerry, never change.

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    HiroconHirocon Registered User regular
    This is me when I go to QFC at 1am. They close down the self-service checkout machines at 11pm so after that I need to actually interact with a human cashier, who sees what I'm buying. And judges.

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    PyrianPyrian Registered User regular
    I'm amused that they felt the need to double the amount of A&W for the comic strip.

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    V1mV1m Registered User regular
    dennis wrote: »
    KalTorak wrote: »
    my dog sneaks up on the table/couch, knocks the pizza onto the floor, eats 3-4 slices, then lies down and pretends nothing happened when I come back

    I assume you were afraid of scolding him for fear of collapsing into a hypocrisy implosion.

    A man with a family can't take that kind of risk

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    emimonsteremimonster Silicon ValleyRegistered User regular
    I'll legitimately not buy the alcohol I was tasked with buying so that I can use the self-checkout and avoid the human interaction.

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    KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular
    No I am not okay why else would I use this service

    My neck, my back, my FUPA and my crack.
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    NotoriusBENNotoriusBEN Registered User regular
    emimonster wrote: »
    I'll legitimately not buy the alcohol I was tasked with buying so that I can use the self-checkout and avoid the human interaction.

    im paying the same price if I bag it myself or have another person bag it. I'll let the person making minimum wage keep their job.

    a4irovn5uqjp.png
    Steam - NotoriusBEN | Uplay - notoriusben | Xbox,Windows Live - ThatBEN
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    dennisdennis aka bingley Registered User regular
    emimonster wrote: »
    I'll legitimately not buy the alcohol I was tasked with buying so that I can use the self-checkout and avoid the human interaction.

    im paying the same price if I bag it myself or have another person bag it. I'll let the person making minimum wage keep their job.

    I hope you're not using a reusable bag when you do that; bag makers gotta feed their family, too.

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    RatherDashing89RatherDashing89 Registered User regular
    I really hope Drone Delivery becomes a thing for the implications it would mean for this sort of service.

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    SadgasmSadgasm Deluded doodler A cold placeRegistered User regular
    I love how literally every part of dystopian sci-fi has warned about this kind of thing, and people just go "sure, that sounds good" the second it becomes availible.

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    Moridin889Moridin889 Registered User regular
    Sadgasm wrote: »
    I love how literally every part of dystopian sci-fi has warned about this kind of thing, and people just go "sure, that sounds good" the second it becomes availible.

    But its pizza rolls, directly to my house.

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    SadgasmSadgasm Deluded doodler A cold placeRegistered User regular
    Moridin889 wrote: »
    Sadgasm wrote: »
    I love how literally every part of dystopian sci-fi has warned about this kind of thing, and people just go "sure, that sounds good" the second it becomes availible.

    But its pizza rolls, directly to my house.

    Alright, I'm just going to go ahead and say it - pizza rolls arent even that good. They're emergency lazy food. If you're ordering food online anyway, why on Gods green Earth would you not order actual pizza?!

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    OverkillengineOverkillengine Registered User regular
    I ain't gonna lie, that order sounds pretty good for when one has a craving for bad food.

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    dennisdennis aka bingley Registered User regular
    Sadgasm wrote: »
    Alright, I'm just going to go ahead and say it - pizza rolls arent even that good. They're emergency lazy food. If you're ordering food online anyway, why on Gods green Earth would you not order actual pizza?!

    I still like the occasional Totinos pizza ("pizza"). I know it's not pizza. It's a different food category altogether that happens to share the name. It's pizza-adjacent.

    I enjoy them in much the same way as one might enjoy Funyuns ("Why not just eat onion rings?!"), chicken mcnuggets ("Why not just eat real chicken?!") or oreos ("Why not just freebase cocaine?!")

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    QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    Sadgasm wrote: »
    Moridin889 wrote: »
    Sadgasm wrote: »
    I love how literally every part of dystopian sci-fi has warned about this kind of thing, and people just go "sure, that sounds good" the second it becomes availible.

    But its pizza rolls, directly to my house.

    Alright, I'm just going to go ahead and say it - pizza rolls arent even that good. They're emergency lazy food. If you're ordering food online anyway, why on Gods green Earth would you not order actual pizza?!

    Some people like specific foods. It drives my bartender friends up the wall but Rose's grenadine is my favorite to use for my drinks. I just really like how it tastes.

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    SadgasmSadgasm Deluded doodler A cold placeRegistered User regular
    dennis wrote: »
    Sadgasm wrote: »
    Alright, I'm just going to go ahead and say it - pizza rolls arent even that good. They're emergency lazy food. If you're ordering food online anyway, why on Gods green Earth would you not order actual pizza?!

    I still like the occasional Totinos pizza ("pizza"). I know it's not pizza. It's a different food category altogether that happens to share the name. It's pizza-adjacent.

    I enjoy them in much the same way as one might enjoy Funyuns ("Why not just eat onion rings?!"), chicken mcnuggets ("Why not just eat real chicken?!") or oreos ("Why not just freebase cocaine?!")

    McNuggets doesnt count, there's clearly magic involved

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    Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    Sadgasm wrote: »
    Moridin889 wrote: »
    Sadgasm wrote: »
    I love how literally every part of dystopian sci-fi has warned about this kind of thing, and people just go "sure, that sounds good" the second it becomes availible.

    But its pizza rolls, directly to my house.

    Alright, I'm just going to go ahead and say it - pizza rolls arent even that good. They're emergency lazy food. If you're ordering food online anyway, why on Gods green Earth would you not order actual pizza?!

    fuck even delivery pizza; in a world where uber eats (and presumably similar services) exists, get actual decent take out

    hold your head high soldier, it ain't over yet
    that's why we call it the struggle, you're supposed to sweat
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    JermsJerms Registered User regular
    Is he at least cooking the cookie dough into actual cookies? Like, in the oven? Or is he eating it raw? This is an important factor in determining how far down the debauchery well he's fallen.

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    Skull2185Skull2185 Registered User regular
    Sadgasm wrote: »
    Moridin889 wrote: »
    Sadgasm wrote: »
    I love how literally every part of dystopian sci-fi has warned about this kind of thing, and people just go "sure, that sounds good" the second it becomes availible.

    But its pizza rolls, directly to my house.

    Alright, I'm just going to go ahead and say it - pizza rolls arent even that good. They're emergency lazy food. If you're ordering food online anyway, why on Gods green Earth would you not order actual pizza?!

    fuck even delivery pizza; in a world where uber eats (and presumably similar services) exists, get actual decent take out

    Woah woah woah... Since when has pizza been bumped from "actual decent"? We truly have strayed too far from god's light!

    Everyone has a price. Throw enough gold around and someone will risk disintegration.
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    EnlongEnlong Registered User regular
    Skull2185 wrote: »
    Sadgasm wrote: »
    Moridin889 wrote: »
    Sadgasm wrote: »
    I love how literally every part of dystopian sci-fi has warned about this kind of thing, and people just go "sure, that sounds good" the second it becomes availible.

    But its pizza rolls, directly to my house.

    Alright, I'm just going to go ahead and say it - pizza rolls arent even that good. They're emergency lazy food. If you're ordering food online anyway, why on Gods green Earth would you not order actual pizza?!

    fuck even delivery pizza; in a world where uber eats (and presumably similar services) exists, get actual decent take out

    Woah woah woah... Since when has pizza been bumped from "actual decent"? We truly have strayed too far from god's light!

    Digiorno's propaganda has taken hold.

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    YoungFreyYoungFrey Registered User regular
    dennis wrote: »
    Sadgasm wrote: »
    Alright, I'm just going to go ahead and say it - pizza rolls arent even that good. They're emergency lazy food. If you're ordering food online anyway, why on Gods green Earth would you not order actual pizza?!

    I still like the occasional Totinos pizza ("pizza"). I know it's not pizza. It's a different food category altogether that happens to share the name. It's pizza-adjacent.

    I enjoy them in much the same way as one might enjoy Funyuns ("Why not just eat onion rings?!"), chicken mcnuggets ("Why not just eat real chicken?!") or oreos ("Why not just freebase cocaine?!")

    This is right in line with an article i read a few years back. The author argues that most frozen pizza falls into The Uncanny Valley Of Pizza. In that they resemble pizza but fall short in so many ways it's off-putting, like a Japanese Dental Surgery Patient Robot. But a Totino's is more like R2-D2, not a pizza, but still enjoyable and on its own.
    02gyhlgtjxej.png
    I love good pizza, but I eat a fair number of Totino's Party pizzas.

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    Skull2185Skull2185 Registered User regular
    I fall into the camp of "all pizza is good pizza". It's a food that's pretty hard to mess up, IMO. The exceptions being Domino's because they turned their crust into some weird abomination of grease, and any kind of white pizza because I hate ricotta AKA The Devil's Smeg.

    Everyone has a price. Throw enough gold around and someone will risk disintegration.
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    dennisdennis aka bingley Registered User regular
    edited July 2018
    Skull2185 wrote: »
    and any kind of white pizza because I hate ricotta AKA The Devil's Smeg.

    Wait a sec. Ricotta? Huh. TIL that some (most?) places put ricotta on white pizza, rather than just using a different, alfredo-like sauce. The place where I typically get white pizza just uses a different (tasty) sauce. Fantastic with chicken and mushrooms.

    I'll have to keep an eye out for the ricotta. Unlike you, I have nothing really against it (it makes the lasagna lasagna). But it might be the reason why when I get white slices elsewhere (usually buffets), I find they're not as much to my taste.

    dennis on
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    KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular
    I will inhale an entire bag of pizza rolls sometimes if the urge gets me. Pizza rolls just scratch an itch once in a while.

    My neck, my back, my FUPA and my crack.
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    Skull2185Skull2185 Registered User regular
    Huh, the one and only time I ever had what was described to me as "White Pizza", it had that ricotta on it. That's not the standard? Lasagna is the one exception I make for that stuff too :P

    Everyone has a price. Throw enough gold around and someone will risk disintegration.
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    twmjrtwmjr Registered User regular
    ricotta on white pizza is definitely the standard. and it is delicious.

    but I could probably eat ricotta directly out of the container with a little seasoning, so I may be biased.

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    KagatoACKagatoAC Registered User regular
    Good lord 10$ for Delivery? And people do this? I knew that people could be that lazy in the back of my mind but I truly did not connect it to actual living beings.

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    V1mV1m Registered User regular
    edited July 2018
    emimonster wrote: »
    I'll legitimately not buy the alcohol I was tasked with buying so that I can use the self-checkout and avoid the human interaction.

    You cant buy alcohol at the self checkout?

    Well not without a basic minimum of human interaction, I suppose

    V1m on
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    Skull2185Skull2185 Registered User regular
    V1m wrote: »
    emimonster wrote: »
    I'll legitimately not buy the alcohol I was tasked with buying so that I can use the self-checkout and avoid the human interaction.

    You cant buy alcohol at the self checkout?

    Well not without a basic minimum of human interaction, I suppose

    Stupid kids would be buying up all the wine-coolers, I imagine.

    I mean, uh... vodka and tequila. Yeah, those are the ones I like!

    Everyone has a price. Throw enough gold around and someone will risk disintegration.
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    Hahnsoo1Hahnsoo1 Make Ready. We Hunt.Registered User, Moderator mod
    Jerms wrote: »
    Is he at least cooking the cookie dough into actual cookies? Like, in the oven? Or is he eating it raw? This is an important factor in determining how far down the debauchery well he's fallen.

    446163600_CHjCn-1050x10000.jpg

    That's a solid... MAYBE.

    8i1dt37buh2m.png
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    Steel AngelSteel Angel Registered User regular
    edited July 2018
    Ricotta varies a lot in quality with a lot of supermarket ricotta being pretty bad on the scale of things. Doesn't prevent some people from still being able to enjoy it but it may not be fair to judge all ricotta by the cheap stuff (though because most people will use the cheap stuff when a recipe calls for it realistically you do have to judge it a bit).
    Hirocon wrote: »
    This is me when I go to QFC at 1am. They close down the self-service checkout machines at 11pm so after that I need to actually interact with a human cashier, who sees what I'm buying. And judges.

    When I'm in line at the grocery store, I'll sometimes scrutinize what people in front of me are buying. I often see people clearly buying for a family with kids (a good amount of veggies and fruit but also things like boxed mac and cheese), people doing the same but who can't cook (boxed mac and cheese and then a bunch of cookies and frozen meals), people who can cook some days but not others (mix of veggies and proteins but then a precooked chicken or the like), and then sometimes someone who has a partner that cooks or did cook but is out of town or out of the picture (items like Gabe's list but usually too little food for more than a few days for one person). Occasionally I see someone that looks like they were forced to go vegetarian for health reasons (visible weight issues, sometimes a bottle of Aspirin) but never learned how to cook so the belt is loaded with some fruit but a lot of frozen vegetarian meals and I sympathize because it's really hard to switch over to a full or even mostly vegetarian diet without being able to plan meals and cook. I've seen a number of friends try to do so and end up making bad decisions like trying to replace all the meat protein they used to get with cheese. I mean eating a lot of cheese is wonderful but not for that.

    On a more general note, the food choices a lot of friends make terrify me. I gag a bit when people in discord talk about the junk and frozen food they stock up on for release day marathons. My body stopped being able to eat most fast food without quickly making me regret it at least 15 years ago and most frozen food is about the same quality. I keep Korean instant ramen and canned soup in the pantry just in case for the few times I'm too tired or sick to even scramble or fry some eggs but that's thankfully pretty uncommon.

    Steel Angel on
    Big Dookie wrote: »
    I found that tilting it doesn't work very well, and once I started jerking it, I got much better results.

    Steam Profile
    3DS: 3454-0268-5595 Battle.net: SteelAngel#1772
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