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Vacation's over in the [Jobs] thread

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Posts

  • ZonugalZonugal The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    Brainleech wrote: »
    Zonugal wrote: »
    This morning I got called in to cover a middle-school social studies teacher as her grandmother passed away right when she got to work.

    So now I am teaching medieval history to 7th-graders for the entire week.

    Do Arabic medieval history it's bonkers

    We're actually starting off with the fall of the Roman empire and we're going to try to focus on getting the students educated on how medieval society functioned.

    It's the second week of school, these kids don't want historical dates or the lineages of kings.

    So we'll let them learn what it was like to be a serf.

    2mw6ukw.jpg
    ElvenshaeschussPolaritielonelyahavaRoyceSraphimDarkPrimusMayabirdgodmodeTofystedethOghulkSyphyreToxGnome-InterruptusMoridin889JaysonFourSkeithVerminionstopgapSlacker71darunia106LoisLane
  • TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas.Registered User regular
    Serf's up, dude!

    Steam: evilumpire Battle.net: T0NKKA#1588 PS4: T_0_N_N_K_A Twitter Art blog/Portfolio! Twitch?! HEY SATAN
    ZonugalElvenshaeRoyceSraphimDarkPrimusgodmodeFlarneTofystedethOghulkGnome-InterruptusJaysonFourSlacker71darunia106LoisLane
  • milskimilski Their Will comes, at last, to Earth, to the Neath, as a storm crosses the sea. Registered User regular
    edited September 2018
    milski wrote: »
    I Zimbra wrote: »
    Also worth pointing out that the dude who tried to take his finger off is a professional engineer.

    Engineers are either total gearheads or 100% unsuitable for field work of any kind.

    Source: I am the latter kind

    To follow up on this:

    This morning, I went to make a fresh pot of coffee, and started by throwing the old filter+grounds into the sink and pouring the boiling hot dregs of the old pot into the trashcan.

    I'm already justifying my raise

    milski on
    High, cold, eternal, immobile, minuscule. You endure; you burn.
    TonkkarhylithElvenshaeSporkAndrewtynicRadiation3clipseThe Escape GoatBobbleTynnanchrishallett83RoyceSraphimminor incidentOmnipotentBagelLaOsOghulkMojo_JojoRainfallwebguy20SyphyreButtersToxGnome-InterruptusMoridin889JaysonFourJedocGnizmoSkeithstopgapSlacker71thatassemblyguyNightDragonDedwrekkadarunia106Erin The RedLoisLane
  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    milski wrote: »
    milski wrote: »
    I Zimbra wrote: »
    Also worth pointing out that the dude who tried to take his finger off is a professional engineer.

    Engineers are either total gearheads or 100% unsuitable for field work of any kind.

    Source: I am the latter kind

    To follow up on this:

    This morning, I went to make a fresh pot of coffee, and started by throwing the old filter+grounds into the sink and pouring the boiling hot dregs of the old pot into the trashcan.

    I'm already justifying my raise
    On the gripping hand, you’ve been elected to not have to make coffee ever again!

    omgbfz5lzi1s.png
    Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
    The Disappearance of Inigo Sharpe: Tomas à Dunsanin
    RadiationRoyceSraphimTofystedethGnome-Interruptusthatassemblyguy
  • RadiationRadiation Registered User regular
    Elvenshae wrote: »
    milski wrote: »
    milski wrote: »
    I Zimbra wrote: »
    Also worth pointing out that the dude who tried to take his finger off is a professional engineer.

    Engineers are either total gearheads or 100% unsuitable for field work of any kind.

    Source: I am the latter kind

    To follow up on this:

    This morning, I went to make a fresh pot of coffee, and started by throwing the old filter+grounds into the sink and pouring the boiling hot dregs of the old pot into the trashcan.

    I'm already justifying my raise
    On the gripping hand, you’ve been elected to not have to make coffee ever again!

    Or at least have someone else be good at cleaning up the coffee from previous day.

    PSN: jfrofl
  • SleepSleep Registered User regular
    edited September 2018
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Brainleech wrote: »
    Zonugal wrote: »
    This morning I got called in to cover a middle-school social studies teacher as her grandmother passed away right when she got to work.

    So now I am teaching medieval history to 7th-graders for the entire week.

    Do Arabic medieval history it's bonkers

    We're actually starting off with the fall of the Roman empire and we're going to try to focus on getting the students educated on how medieval society functioned.

    It's the second week of school, these kids don't want historical dates or the lineages of kings.

    So we'll let them learn what it was like to be a serf.

    So it's a bad thing when you're reading bout serf life like "man they got a garden" right

    Sleep on
    tynicJansonthatassemblyguyNightDragon
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    How you know you've hit feudal capitalism: "man regular old feudalism sounds pretty good"

    bowenchrishallett83Tynnan3clipseRoyceSraphimSleepStiltsCelloKetBrawebguy20KetarToxZonugalMoridin889JedocSkeithSorcestopgapSlacker71thatassemblyguyNightDragonDedwrekkadarunia106Erin The Red
  • ZonugalZonugal The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    Sleep wrote: »
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Brainleech wrote: »
    Zonugal wrote: »
    This morning I got called in to cover a middle-school social studies teacher as her grandmother passed away right when she got to work.

    So now I am teaching medieval history to 7th-graders for the entire week.

    Do Arabic medieval history it's bonkers

    We're actually starting off with the fall of the Roman empire and we're going to try to focus on getting the students educated on how medieval society functioned.

    It's the second week of school, these kids don't want historical dates or the lineages of kings.

    So we'll let them learn what it was like to be a serf.

    So it's a bad thing when you're reading bout serf life like "man they got a garden" right

    Take a gander at how many vacation/leisure days they had in comparison to us today.

    2mw6ukw.jpg
  • DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    Brolo wrote: »

    Oh this is good news. I'd been avoiding the one that just opened up near me because, well, Batali isn't a great person but 1) he's not the CEO anymore which I didn't realize until this article and 2) this news is pretty awesome.

    "zip, i dunno what it is about you, but there's something very cat-like about your face. i can't really place it. you'd make a good mountain lion." Hail, Satan!
  • SleepSleep Registered User regular
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Sleep wrote: »
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Brainleech wrote: »
    Zonugal wrote: »
    This morning I got called in to cover a middle-school social studies teacher as her grandmother passed away right when she got to work.

    So now I am teaching medieval history to 7th-graders for the entire week.

    Do Arabic medieval history it's bonkers

    We're actually starting off with the fall of the Roman empire and we're going to try to focus on getting the students educated on how medieval society functioned.

    It's the second week of school, these kids don't want historical dates or the lineages of kings.

    So we'll let them learn what it was like to be a serf.

    So it's a bad thing when you're reading bout serf life like "man they got a garden" right

    Take a gander at how many vacation/leisure days they had in comparison to us today.

    Man we've got shitty lords now

    StiltsZonugalthatassemblyguy
  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel Shell, Teeth, Eyes, Flame, Claws, Breath, Scales, FUN!Registered User regular
    milski wrote: »
    milski wrote: »
    I Zimbra wrote: »
    Also worth pointing out that the dude who tried to take his finger off is a professional engineer.

    Engineers are either total gearheads or 100% unsuitable for field work of any kind.

    Source: I am the latter kind

    To follow up on this:

    This morning, I went to make a fresh pot of coffee, and started by throwing the old filter+grounds into the sink and pouring the boiling hot dregs of the old pot into the trashcan.

    I'm already justifying my raise

    Not quite on this level, but we recently got a new coffee maker at work that has a tank and spigot instead of pots, and the number of times I've tried to brew my tea with coffee instead of water because I just went for the first spigot I saw is... a lot higher than it should be

    9m1sgpgi7202.gif
    Elvenshaewebguy20The Escape GoatFishmanstopgapSlacker71
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    Fuuuuuck I forgot to use a toilet seat cover and sat down for a second. Am I going to die?

    How do I sterilize my ass?

  • timspork's ghosttimspork's ghost Master Librarian and Ghostbuster Registered User regular
    Drez wrote: »
    Fuuuuuck I forgot to use a toilet seat cover and sat down for a second. Am I going to die?

    How do I sterilize my ass?

    Soap and warm water?

    (Switch Friend Code) SW-4910-9735-6014(PSN) timspork (Steam) timspork


    BolthornGnome-InterruptusSlacker71
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    Drez wrote: »
    Fuuuuuck I forgot to use a toilet seat cover and sat down for a second. Am I going to die?

    How do I sterilize my ass?

    Set yourself on fire.

    ElvenshaeMorivethL Ron HowardDrez3clipseMojo_JojoEchoTofystedethwebguy20BobbleThe Escape GoatTonkkaBolthornToxRoyceSraphimKaplarMrGrimoirefurlionchrishallett83SorceVerminionstopgapSlacker71darunia106CormacLoisLane
  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel Shell, Teeth, Eyes, Flame, Claws, Breath, Scales, FUN!Registered User regular
    Shed your current dermal layer and grow a new one

    9m1sgpgi7202.gif
    ElvenshaePinfeldorfbowenMojo_JojoBobbleSporkAndrewGvzbgulThe Escape GoatTonkkaBolthornToxGnome-InterruptusRoyceSraphimchrishallett83Commander ZoomSorceNightDragonJoolanderDedwrekkadarunia106Erin The RedLoisLane
  • minor incidentminor incident Helen Keller to the bullshit Registered User regular
    You're willing to touch doorknobs that your coworkers use but not sit on their toilet seats?

    Because, boy, do I have news for you about how little most of your disgusting coworkers probably wash their hands.

    Steam: minor incident || PSN: inter-punct
    You may not find all that you're after. In the end I hope it doesn't matter.
    SleepTynnanElvenshaeNobodyL Ron HowardJansonbowen3clipseDrake ChambersTofystedethKwoaruStiltswebguy20SyphyreBobbleButtersKetarAnon the FelonThe Escape GoatTonkkaBolthornToxGnome-InterruptusCalicaMoridin889chrishallett83JedocCommander ZoomSkeithSorceVerminionSlacker71JoolanderDedwrekkadarunia106LoisLane
  • QuantumTurkQuantumTurk Registered User regular
    Toilet seat covers are the most overblown thing in my mind, short of immuno-compromised people, who frankly have a whole other swath of things to worry about more.

    RainfallWeaverMulysaSemproniusOmnipotentBagelMojo_JojoStiltswebguy20BobbleButtersDisruptedCapitalistchromdomGvzbgulBolthornToxGnome-InterruptusCalicaMoridin889Psykomachrishallett83JedocCommander ZoomSlacker71InfidelIvanIssacsDedwrekkaLoisLane
  • StragintStragint Do Not Gift Always DeclinesRegistered User regular
    Well damn. I've goofed. My trainer asked me if I'm ready to take calls today because my attitude seems off.

    I'm thinking of expressing to him how much I don't want to do collections in the hope that he might be able to move me somehow instead of telling me to quit.

    PSN: Reaper_Stragint, Steam: DoublePitstoChesty
    What is the point of being alive if you don't at least try to do something remarkable? ~ Mario Novak

    I never fear death or dyin', I only fear never trying.
  • NobodyNobody Registered User regular
    You're willing to touch doorknobs that your coworkers use but not sit on their toilet seats?

    Because, boy, do I have news for you about how little most of your disgusting coworkers probably wash their hands.

    I learned a long time ago that the best way to open the bathroom door to leave is by using a paper towel.

    ElvenshaeSleepDrezL Ron HowardBobblePenumbraAnon the FelonTonkkaBolthornToxRoyceSraphimchrishallett83Slacker71honovereNightDragonNoughtLoisLane
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited September 2018
    You're willing to touch doorknobs that your coworkers use but not sit on their toilet seats?

    Because, boy, do I have news for you about how little most of your disgusting coworkers probably wash their hands.

    Whatever gave you that idea? I stalk coworkers and only enter through doorways they’ve opened for me. Either that or I use a disposable paper towel to manipulate door handles.

    Anyway, I used the last of my scotch and went with Darth Waiter’s suggestion of setting myself on fire.

    Drez on
    Stragintminor incidentSleepElvenshaeL Ron HowardDrake ChambersPolaritiechromdomThe Escape GoatTonkkaToxCalicaMoridin889SorcestopgapSlacker71NightDragonDedwrekkaLoisLane
  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    I didn't know there were people who actually use the toilet seat cover.

    Just take some paper towels and dip it into the bowl and wipe down the seat like the rest of us, drez.

    Ladies.
    ElvenshaeDrake Chamberswebguy20jgeisPenumbraTynnanToxGnome-InterruptusRoyceSraphimKaplarJedocSlacker71DedwrekkasponoLoisLane
  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Brainleech wrote: »
    Zonugal wrote: »
    This morning I got called in to cover a middle-school social studies teacher as her grandmother passed away right when she got to work.

    So now I am teaching medieval history to 7th-graders for the entire week.

    Do Arabic medieval history it's bonkers

    We're actually starting off with the fall of the Roman empire and we're going to try to focus on getting the students educated on how medieval society functioned.

    It's the second week of school, these kids don't want historical dates or the lineages of kings.

    So we'll let them learn what it was like to be a serf.

    This is actually how British schools teach history and I think it’s pretty well done! Certainly more relevant and I was better able to retain knowledge that way.

    We did a lot of social history and looking at how people actually lived.

    sig.jpg
    Calica
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    Drez wrote: »
    Fuuuuuck I forgot to use a toilet seat cover and sat down for a second. Am I going to die?

    How do I sterilize my ass?

    Soap and warm water?

    Tim, how would that even work, logistically?

    The sink isn’t in the stall with me. I would have to do one of two things: either pull my pants up to get some kind of towel I could slather with soap and water and then go back to the stall to furiously scour my butt or I could walk out naked and just furiously scour my butt at the sink. The former wouldn’t work because I would infect my boxers and pants with whatever avian sex flu my coworkers have and the latter is no good due to pesky indecency and harassment statutes.

    I’m trapped.

    Can someone come save me? I don’t think there are any vents in here. Download a photo of me from Facebook and create a mask like in Mission Impossible and come break me out.

    ElvenshaeSlacker71
  • timspork's ghosttimspork's ghost Master Librarian and Ghostbuster Registered User regular
    Also showing Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

    (Switch Friend Code) SW-4910-9735-6014(PSN) timspork (Steam) timspork


    ElvenshaeJansonSleepToxchrishallett83JedocSlacker71NightDragonDedwrekka
  • JavenJaven Registered User regular
    bowen wrote: »
    I didn't know there were people who actually use the toilet seat cover.

    Just take some paper towels and dip it into the bowl and wipe down the seat like the rest of us, drez.

    The worst is people who use the seat cover, then leave the cover on the seat for the next person to find

    For some reason that's way worse to me than just not using a cover at all.

    KamiroDrezQuantumTurkwebguy20jgeisThe Escape GoatBolthornRoyceSraphimMoridin889SorceSlacker71LoisLane
  • Drake ChambersDrake Chambers Lay out my formal shorts. Registered User regular
    .
    Drez wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    Fuuuuuck I forgot to use a toilet seat cover and sat down for a second. Am I going to die?

    How do I sterilize my ass?

    Soap and warm water?

    Tim, how would that even work, logistically?

    The sink isn’t in the stall with me. I would have to do one of two things: either pull my pants up to get some kind of towel I could slather with soap and water and then go back to the stall to furiously scour my butt or I could walk out naked and just furiously scour my butt at the sink. The former wouldn’t work because I would infect my boxers and pants with whatever avian sex flu my coworkers have and the latter is no good due to pesky indecency and harassment statutes.

    I’m trapped.

    Can someone come save me? I don’t think there are any vents in here. Download a photo of me from Facebook and create a mask like in Mission Impossible and come break me out.

    Question... are you still on fire?

    steam_sig.png
    Drez
  • timspork's ghosttimspork's ghost Master Librarian and Ghostbuster Registered User regular
    .
    Drez wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    Fuuuuuck I forgot to use a toilet seat cover and sat down for a second. Am I going to die?

    How do I sterilize my ass?

    Soap and warm water?

    Tim, how would that even work, logistically?

    The sink isn’t in the stall with me. I would have to do one of two things: either pull my pants up to get some kind of towel I could slather with soap and water and then go back to the stall to furiously scour my butt or I could walk out naked and just furiously scour my butt at the sink. The former wouldn’t work because I would infect my boxers and pants with whatever avian sex flu my coworkers have and the latter is no good due to pesky indecency and harassment statutes.

    I’m trapped.

    Can someone come save me? I don’t think there are any vents in here. Download a photo of me from Facebook and create a mask like in Mission Impossible and come break me out.

    Question... are you still on fire?

    /get ye flask

    (Switch Friend Code) SW-4910-9735-6014(PSN) timspork (Steam) timspork


    ElvenshaeDrake ChambersCalicaCommander ZoomSlacker71Dedwrekka
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    .
    Drez wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    Fuuuuuck I forgot to use a toilet seat cover and sat down for a second. Am I going to die?

    How do I sterilize my ass?

    Soap and warm water?

    Tim, how would that even work, logistically?

    The sink isn’t in the stall with me. I would have to do one of two things: either pull my pants up to get some kind of towel I could slather with soap and water and then go back to the stall to furiously scour my butt or I could walk out naked and just furiously scour my butt at the sink. The former wouldn’t work because I would infect my boxers and pants with whatever avian sex flu my coworkers have and the latter is no good due to pesky indecency and harassment statutes.

    I’m trapped.

    Can someone come save me? I don’t think there are any vents in here. Download a photo of me from Facebook and create a mask like in Mission Impossible and come break me out.

    Question... are you still on fire?

    Yep.

    Elvenshae
  • Drake ChambersDrake Chambers Lay out my formal shorts. Registered User regular
    bowen wrote: »
    I didn't know there were people who actually use the toilet seat cover.

    Just take some paper towels and dip it into the bowl and wipe down the seat like the rest of us, drez.

    I used to work with a germophobe that kept a pretty tight lid on it but gave away two tells that I know of.

    On one occasion, someone at a table with him accidentally reached out and touched his water glass before figuring out that it wasn't theirs. Just touched the sides. He freaked the fuck out. Like, got red in the face and started stammering and needed to get a new glass.

    On one other occasion, something happened in the office one day that required a rapid response (maybe a fire alarm? I can't remember) and he was forced to leave the bathroom in a hurry. We all knew that when he went in there he took way longer than one would normally expect but, whatever, people poop at different paces. On this day though, the next person in discovered an impossibly intricate nest around the toilet seat, made of literally dozens of seat covers. I don't just mean a stack of seat covers. We're talking carefully woven together and around the seat.

    Guy was a character.

    steam_sig.png
  • minor incidentminor incident Helen Keller to the bullshit Registered User regular
    On the flip side of that, I work with a guy who will regularly go take a shit while on a phone call.

    But (and this is my favorite part), he doesn't flush. If you wander into the bathroom after one of his teleconference shits and say anything about it, he'll calmly explain that his headset doesn't have a mute button so obviously he can't flush the toilet or the people on the other end will hear, and he's not an animal.

    Steam: minor incident || PSN: inter-punct
    You may not find all that you're after. In the end I hope it doesn't matter.
    Drake ChambersMysstElvenshaewebguy20JansonDarkPrimusTofystedethTynnanSporkAndrewToxGnome-InterruptusZonugalpookaJaysonFourMrGrimoireMoridin889chrishallett83JedocCommander ZoomSkeithstopgapSlacker71honovereJoolanderdarunia106sponoLoisLane
  • DevoutlyApatheticDevoutlyApathetic Registered User regular
    bowen wrote: »
    I didn't know there were people who actually use the toilet seat cover.

    Just take some paper towels and dip it into the bowl and wipe down the seat like the rest of us, drez.

    I used to work with a germophobe that kept a pretty tight lid on it but gave away two tells that I know of.

    On one occasion, someone at a table with him accidentally reached out and touched his water glass before figuring out that it wasn't theirs. Just touched the sides. He freaked the fuck out. Like, got red in the face and started stammering and needed to get a new glass.

    On one other occasion, something happened in the office one day that required a rapid response (maybe a fire alarm? I can't remember) and he was forced to leave the bathroom in a hurry. We all knew that when he went in there he took way longer than one would normally expect but, whatever, people poop at different paces. On this day though, the next person in discovered an impossibly intricate nest around the toilet seat, made of literally dozens of seat covers. I don't just mean a stack of seat covers. We're talking carefully woven together and around the seat.

    Guy was a character.

    I don't get that second thing. If you're taking that long anyways why not just pack a can of Lysol and actually disinfect it before you do your business? It'd be actually effective and possibly quicker.

    SleepbowenElvenshaeJansonBolthornZonugalMoridin889chrishallett83Slacker71
  • minor incidentminor incident Helen Keller to the bullshit Registered User regular
    bowen wrote: »
    I didn't know there were people who actually use the toilet seat cover.

    Just take some paper towels and dip it into the bowl and wipe down the seat like the rest of us, drez.

    I used to work with a germophobe that kept a pretty tight lid on it but gave away two tells that I know of.

    On one occasion, someone at a table with him accidentally reached out and touched his water glass before figuring out that it wasn't theirs. Just touched the sides. He freaked the fuck out. Like, got red in the face and started stammering and needed to get a new glass.

    On one other occasion, something happened in the office one day that required a rapid response (maybe a fire alarm? I can't remember) and he was forced to leave the bathroom in a hurry. We all knew that when he went in there he took way longer than one would normally expect but, whatever, people poop at different paces. On this day though, the next person in discovered an impossibly intricate nest around the toilet seat, made of literally dozens of seat covers. I don't just mean a stack of seat covers. We're talking carefully woven together and around the seat.

    Guy was a character.

    I don't get that second thing. If you're taking that long anyways why not just pack a can of Lysol and actually disinfect it before you do your business? It'd be actually effective and possibly quicker.

    There's a solid chance he's doing both, you know.

    Steam: minor incident || PSN: inter-punct
    You may not find all that you're after. In the end I hope it doesn't matter.
    DevoutlyApatheticDrake ChambersSleepbowen3clipseOmnipotentBagelElvenshaeTofystedethToxZonugalpookachrishallett83stopgapdarunia106
  • DevoutlyApatheticDevoutlyApathetic Registered User regular
    bowen wrote: »
    I didn't know there were people who actually use the toilet seat cover.

    Just take some paper towels and dip it into the bowl and wipe down the seat like the rest of us, drez.

    I used to work with a germophobe that kept a pretty tight lid on it but gave away two tells that I know of.

    On one occasion, someone at a table with him accidentally reached out and touched his water glass before figuring out that it wasn't theirs. Just touched the sides. He freaked the fuck out. Like, got red in the face and started stammering and needed to get a new glass.

    On one other occasion, something happened in the office one day that required a rapid response (maybe a fire alarm? I can't remember) and he was forced to leave the bathroom in a hurry. We all knew that when he went in there he took way longer than one would normally expect but, whatever, people poop at different paces. On this day though, the next person in discovered an impossibly intricate nest around the toilet seat, made of literally dozens of seat covers. I don't just mean a stack of seat covers. We're talking carefully woven together and around the seat.

    Guy was a character.

    I don't get that second thing. If you're taking that long anyways why not just pack a can of Lysol and actually disinfect it before you do your business? It'd be actually effective and possibly quicker.

    There's a solid chance he's doing both, you know.

    I really hadn't thought of that.

    Now I think I'm going to desperately back away from this chasm that has opened up, lest it consume me.

    Elvenshae
  • Drake ChambersDrake Chambers Lay out my formal shorts. Registered User regular
    bowen wrote: »
    I didn't know there were people who actually use the toilet seat cover.

    Just take some paper towels and dip it into the bowl and wipe down the seat like the rest of us, drez.

    I used to work with a germophobe that kept a pretty tight lid on it but gave away two tells that I know of.

    On one occasion, someone at a table with him accidentally reached out and touched his water glass before figuring out that it wasn't theirs. Just touched the sides. He freaked the fuck out. Like, got red in the face and started stammering and needed to get a new glass.

    On one other occasion, something happened in the office one day that required a rapid response (maybe a fire alarm? I can't remember) and he was forced to leave the bathroom in a hurry. We all knew that when he went in there he took way longer than one would normally expect but, whatever, people poop at different paces. On this day though, the next person in discovered an impossibly intricate nest around the toilet seat, made of literally dozens of seat covers. I don't just mean a stack of seat covers. We're talking carefully woven together and around the seat.

    Guy was a character.

    I don't get that second thing. If you're taking that long anyways why not just pack a can of Lysol and actually disinfect it before you do your business? It'd be actually effective and possibly quicker.

    There's a solid chance he's doing both, you know.

    There's also the issue that people with real, serious OCD aren't necessarily going to be behaving in the most rational of ways.

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    DevoutlyApatheticminor incidentOmnipotentBagelwebguy20ZonugalpookaMoridin889chrishallett83Commander Zoomdarunia106
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    bowen wrote: »
    I didn't know there were people who actually use the toilet seat cover.

    Just take some paper towels and dip it into the bowl and wipe down the seat like the rest of us, drez.

    I used to work with a germophobe that kept a pretty tight lid on it but gave away two tells that I know of.

    On one occasion, someone at a table with him accidentally reached out and touched his water glass before figuring out that it wasn't theirs. Just touched the sides. He freaked the fuck out. Like, got red in the face and started stammering and needed to get a new glass.

    On one other occasion, something happened in the office one day that required a rapid response (maybe a fire alarm? I can't remember) and he was forced to leave the bathroom in a hurry. We all knew that when he went in there he took way longer than one would normally expect but, whatever, people poop at different paces. On this day though, the next person in discovered an impossibly intricate nest around the toilet seat, made of literally dozens of seat covers. I don't just mean a stack of seat covers. We're talking carefully woven together and around the seat.

    Guy was a character.

    I’ve been explicitly called out on my OCD and germaphobia by one of my coworker friends and after that I stopped giving a fuck about trying to hide it.

    I’m not that annoying though. It’s mostly like opening a door with my hand in my coat pocket. Or overuse of hand sanitizer.

    So my friend’s attempt to shame me just made it more blatant on my part.

  • Drake ChambersDrake Chambers Lay out my formal shorts. Registered User regular
    Drez wrote: »
    .
    Drez wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    Fuuuuuck I forgot to use a toilet seat cover and sat down for a second. Am I going to die?

    How do I sterilize my ass?

    Soap and warm water?

    Tim, how would that even work, logistically?

    The sink isn’t in the stall with me. I would have to do one of two things: either pull my pants up to get some kind of towel I could slather with soap and water and then go back to the stall to furiously scour my butt or I could walk out naked and just furiously scour my butt at the sink. The former wouldn’t work because I would infect my boxers and pants with whatever avian sex flu my coworkers have and the latter is no good due to pesky indecency and harassment statutes.

    I’m trapped.

    Can someone come save me? I don’t think there are any vents in here. Download a photo of me from Facebook and create a mask like in Mission Impossible and come break me out.

    Question... are you still on fire?

    Yep.

    Then, good news! It should all be over soon.

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  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    I don't blame germaphobes in general. Humans are gross and things like MRSA can make you lose limbs.

    Ladies.
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    bowen wrote: »
    I didn't know there were people who actually use the toilet seat cover.

    Just take some paper towels and dip it into the bowl and wipe down the seat like the rest of us, drez.

    I used to work with a germophobe that kept a pretty tight lid on it but gave away two tells that I know of.

    On one occasion, someone at a table with him accidentally reached out and touched his water glass before figuring out that it wasn't theirs. Just touched the sides. He freaked the fuck out. Like, got red in the face and started stammering and needed to get a new glass.

    On one other occasion, something happened in the office one day that required a rapid response (maybe a fire alarm? I can't remember) and he was forced to leave the bathroom in a hurry. We all knew that when he went in there he took way longer than one would normally expect but, whatever, people poop at different paces. On this day though, the next person in discovered an impossibly intricate nest around the toilet seat, made of literally dozens of seat covers. I don't just mean a stack of seat covers. We're talking carefully woven together and around the seat.

    Guy was a character.

    I don't get that second thing. If you're taking that long anyways why not just pack a can of Lysol and actually disinfect it before you do your business? It'd be actually effective and possibly quicker.

    I used to use Clorox wipes (I hate Lysol wipes - too foamy) like nobody’s business. But that developed into chemophobia, if that’s a thing?

    Imagine being a germaphobe with a fear of cleansers.

    Now, I use alcohol prep wipes which are tiny and annoying to use but provides the balance between adhering to my chemophobic and germaphobic tendencies without much fuss.

    Slacker71
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