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Vacation's over in the [Jobs] thread

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Posts

  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    Drez wrote: »
    .
    Drez wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    Fuuuuuck I forgot to use a toilet seat cover and sat down for a second. Am I going to die?

    How do I sterilize my ass?

    Soap and warm water?

    Tim, how would that even work, logistically?

    The sink isn’t in the stall with me. I would have to do one of two things: either pull my pants up to get some kind of towel I could slather with soap and water and then go back to the stall to furiously scour my butt or I could walk out naked and just furiously scour my butt at the sink. The former wouldn’t work because I would infect my boxers and pants with whatever avian sex flu my coworkers have and the latter is no good due to pesky indecency and harassment statutes.

    I’m trapped.

    Can someone come save me? I don’t think there are any vents in here. Download a photo of me from Facebook and create a mask like in Mission Impossible and come break me out.

    Question... are you still on fire?

    Yep.

    Then, good news! It should all be over soon.

    Yep.

  • ShortyShorty JUDGE BROSEF Registered User regular
    Zonugal wrote: »
    This morning I got called in to cover a middle-school social studies teacher as her grandmother passed away right when she got to work.

    So now I am teaching medieval history to 7th-graders for the entire week.

    you should try and sneak our favorite medievalist in for a guest lecture on anarchism in the middle ages

    Tube wrote: »
    I was legit hoping that Shorty was somehow mistaken and the world wasn't that fucked
  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    Drez wrote: »
    bowen wrote: »
    I didn't know there were people who actually use the toilet seat cover.

    Just take some paper towels and dip it into the bowl and wipe down the seat like the rest of us, drez.

    I used to work with a germophobe that kept a pretty tight lid on it but gave away two tells that I know of.

    On one occasion, someone at a table with him accidentally reached out and touched his water glass before figuring out that it wasn't theirs. Just touched the sides. He freaked the fuck out. Like, got red in the face and started stammering and needed to get a new glass.

    On one other occasion, something happened in the office one day that required a rapid response (maybe a fire alarm? I can't remember) and he was forced to leave the bathroom in a hurry. We all knew that when he went in there he took way longer than one would normally expect but, whatever, people poop at different paces. On this day though, the next person in discovered an impossibly intricate nest around the toilet seat, made of literally dozens of seat covers. I don't just mean a stack of seat covers. We're talking carefully woven together and around the seat.

    Guy was a character.

    I don't get that second thing. If you're taking that long anyways why not just pack a can of Lysol and actually disinfect it before you do your business? It'd be actually effective and possibly quicker.

    I used to use Clorox wipes (I hate Lysol wipes - too foamy) like nobody’s business. But that developed into chemophobia, if that’s a thing?

    Imagine being a germaphobe with a fear of cleansers.

    Now, I use alcohol prep wipes which are tiny and annoying to use but provides the balance between adhering to my chemophobic and germaphobic tendencies without much fuss.

    Alcohol is okay, but you need bleach to kill things like c-diff. You also need a certain percentage of bleach, so household ones won't cut it. You need hospital grade ones. Just wear gloves while using them.

    Ladies.
  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    edited September 2018
    @drez here's what you want to use : https://www.cloroxprofessional.com/products/clorox-healthcare-bleach-germicidal-wipes/at-a-glance/

    E: hit the seat with that stuff, wait 3 minutes, boom MRSA and c-diff free toilet experience.

    bowen on
    Ladies.
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited September 2018
    Just stay dehydrated so you can force yourself to only poop at home

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
    Twitter Steam Playstation- Mechaphiliac
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    Thanks. But how do I put this?

    It’s a mental war. I’m waging war on myself. Sometimes it’s refusal/denial. Sometimes it’s compromise. I don’t want to clean everything. Or anything. I don’t even want to know about diseases. My hang ups are more rooted in traditional OCD than germaphobia.

    So alcohol wipes may be ineffectual in all cases, but using them balances out my mental issues.

    I actually think I’m going to stop using toilet seat covers and see if I can actually stick to that. At least at work.

  • 3clipse3clipse I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    edited September 2018
    bowen wrote: »
    I don't blame germaphobes in general. Humans are gross and things like MRSA can make you lose limbs.

    Germaphobia (of the kind of people being like "eww gross," not the kind that's a subset of OCD) has been a major contributor to the rise of things like MRSA because people started packing antibiotics into soap and handwash and requesting them for colds and not finishing the courses properly because they were no longer taken as the serious medication they are.

    3clipse on
    drowning in the ever heaving waters of mother Earth's salty tiddy.
    manwiththemachinegunShortyElvenshaedurandal4532Gnome-InterruptuspookaMoridin889chrishallett83Munkus BeaverstopgapSlacker71SCREECH OF THE FARG
  • manwiththemachinegunmanwiththemachinegun METAL GEAR?! Registered User regular
    The human body is pretty resilient at fighting off infection.

    SleepBolthornGnome-InterruptusZonugalLoisLane
  • Blackhawk1313Blackhawk1313 Registered User regular
    Gonna be in San Diego for whiteboarding fun for my new job at the end of this month. :)

    Elvenshaechromdom
  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... Registered User regular
    The office administrator wants to talk to me when I have a minute

    I suspect it's about the staff assistant position that's soon to open, but my paranoia is telling me "You made some horrible mistake and you're getting fired today."

    3ds friend code: 2036 9837 9754 Switch: 3661 4488 2896
    PSN/XBL id: Moriveth Steam: L4Mori
    milskidurandal4532webguy20DisruptedCapitalistTonkkaSlacker71
  • milskimilski Their Will comes, at last, to Earth, to the Neath, as a storm crosses the sea. Registered User regular
    Moriveth wrote: »
    The office administrator wants to talk to me when I have a minute

    I suspect it's about the staff assistant position that's soon to open, but my paranoia is telling me "You made some horrible mistake and you're getting fired today."

    When I got my raise the call opened with "turn the phone off speaker. Ok, HR was looking at a couple things..." and I was like ok fuck no fuck no fuck.

    High, cold, eternal, immobile, minuscule. You endure; you burn.
    durandal4532webguy20David_TGnome-InterruptusToxMoridin889chrishallett83JedocCommander ZoomSorcestopgapBobbleSlacker71Joolander
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    I’m dead now.




    From the fire.

  • PaladinPaladin Registered User regular
    The human body is pretty resilient at fighting off infection.

    It sucks being infected aaaa!aaaaaaaaa

    Marty: The future, it's where you're going?
    Doc: That's right, twenty five years into the future. I've always dreamed on seeing the future, looking beyond my years, seeing the progress of mankind. I'll also be able to see who wins the next twenty-five world series.
  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel Shell, Teeth, Eyes, Flame, Claws, Breath, Scales, FUN!Registered User regular
    Drez wrote: »
    I’m dead now.




    From the fire.

    Congratulations, you are now clean.

    9m1sgpgi7202.gif
    timspork's ghostTofystedethjgeisDrezDarth WaiterToxMoridin889chrishallett83TonkkaFishmanCommander ZoomSorceBobbleSlacker71NightDragonJoolanderdarunia106LoisLane
  • KaplarKaplar Registered User regular
    I really hate not knowing when my shift ends. Why have a schedule if it's never followed?

    webguy20
  • durandal4532durandal4532 Registered User regular
    I accepted a job, and in the few weeks since then, I've heard back from like five places asking either if I wanted a job or an interview. Maybe last month! You jerks!

    Take a moment to donate what you can to the International Rescue Committee, the National Immigration Law Center, the Southern Poverty Law Center, and the American Civil Liberties Union. There has never been a more urgent moment to do so.
    JansonGnome-InterruptusTonkka
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited September 2018
    On the flip side of that, I work with a guy who will regularly go take a shit while on a phone call.

    But (and this is my favorite part), he doesn't flush. If you wander into the bathroom after one of his teleconference shits and say anything about it, he'll calmly explain that his headset doesn't have a mute button so obviously he can't flush the toilet or the people on the other end will hear, and he's not an animal.

    It is now your mission to eat a lot of cabbage and beans and whatever and really let loose in the stall next to him while he's on a call.

    DarkPrimus on
    wpyz0Y5.png
    Gamertag: PrimusD | Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
    L Ron HowardPolaritieElvenshaeBolthornGnome-InterruptusZonugalToxSorceBobbleSlacker71Joolanderdarunia106
  • ShortyShorty JUDGE BROSEF Registered User regular
    "and whatever"

    Tube wrote: »
    I was legit hoping that Shorty was somehow mistaken and the world wasn't that fucked
    ElvenshaechromdomZonugalDrake ChambersToxThe Escape GoatSorceBobbleSlacker71spono
  • StragintStragint Do Not Gift Always DeclinesRegistered User regular
    I didn't even try to hide my germaphobia from my peers at Discover. I made sure they knew so people wouldn't fuck with my stuff. There was always that asshole that would wave their hands near my stuff and ask what I'd do if they touched my stuff.

    I can't even fathom pooping at work. No amount of covers or paper towels or anything over the seat would make me feel comfortable, I can basically only poop at home.

    PSN: Reaper_Stragint, Steam: DoublePitstoChesty
    What is the point of being alive if you don't at least try to do something remarkable? ~ Mario Novak

    I never fear death or dyin', I only fear never trying.
    Drez
  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    I fight disease by making sure my germs are stronger and more plentiful than competing germs. You want a piece of me, you gotta get through my boys first.

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStigCFN: Stiggles
    ElvenshaeSleepGnome-InterruptusDrake ChambersToxKaplarMrGrimoireMoridin889The Escape GoatfurlionTonkkaAl_watCommander ZoomRorshach KringleSorcestopgapcaligynefobSlacker71NightDragonJoolanderdarunia106
  • jgeisjgeis Registered User regular
    I really don't mind using public toilets, I figure it's just my butt touching the surface and I don't touch my butt much between cleanings. I will take some wadded up toilet paper and wipe down the seat if there's obvious stuff on it but that's about the extent of my worries. I just make sure to wash my hands thoroughly and use a paper towel to open the door.

    The thing that squicks me out is when a public toilet seat is warm. A toilet seat should be as cold as the innermost circle of hell.

    [
    JansonShortyTheStigwebguy20ElvenshaePerrsunSleepBolthornGnome-InterruptusDrake ChambersToxKaplarStiltsMrGrimoirefurlionJedocCommander ZoomSorcestopgapLindsay LohanSlacker71Cormac
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    I’m pooping again. More fire.

  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    3clipse wrote: »
    bowen wrote: »
    I don't blame germaphobes in general. Humans are gross and things like MRSA can make you lose limbs.

    Germaphobia (of the kind of people being like "eww gross," not the kind that's a subset of OCD) has been a major contributor to the rise of things like MRSA because people started packing antibiotics into soap and handwash and requesting them for colds and not finishing the courses properly because they were no longer taken as the serious medication they are.

    Drops in the bucket compared to overuse by the farming industry to produce larger animals, though, truth be told.

    Ladies.
    TheStigJansonDisruptedCapitalistElvenshaeCalicaMoridin889Slacker71V1m
  • StragintStragint Do Not Gift Always DeclinesRegistered User regular
    Is it worth putting my Amex time on my resume? I've only been here since August 13th and I'm still in training.

    PSN: Reaper_Stragint, Steam: DoublePitstoChesty
    What is the point of being alive if you don't at least try to do something remarkable? ~ Mario Novak

    I never fear death or dyin', I only fear never trying.
  • KetarKetar My autocomplete is a tad agressive today.Registered User regular
    Stragint wrote: »
    Is it worth putting my Amex time on my resume? I've only been here since August 13th and I'm still in training.

    Probably not. I would only do it if I had a reason for leaving that potential hirers would agree was a good and understandable reason, and it was something short enough I could include in a cover letter.

    Gnome-InterruptusSlacker71
  • 3clipse3clipse I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    bowen wrote: »
    3clipse wrote: »
    bowen wrote: »
    I don't blame germaphobes in general. Humans are gross and things like MRSA can make you lose limbs.

    Germaphobia (of the kind of people being like "eww gross," not the kind that's a subset of OCD) has been a major contributor to the rise of things like MRSA because people started packing antibiotics into soap and handwash and requesting them for colds and not finishing the courses properly because they were no longer taken as the serious medication they are.

    Drops in the bucket compared to overuse by the farming industry to produce larger animals, though, truth be told.

    Also yes. Makes me pretty mad how many problems humans are creating for ourselves by being idiots.

    drowning in the ever heaving waters of mother Earth's salty tiddy.
    bowenCalicaThe Escape Goatironsizide
  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... Registered User regular
    Okay I guess I’m interviewing for the staff assistant job tomorrow!

    3ds friend code: 2036 9837 9754 Switch: 3661 4488 2896
    PSN/XBL id: Moriveth Steam: L4Mori
    3clipsejgeismilskibowenLiiyawebguy20TynnansarukunKetarLaOsJansonDarth WaiterKadithDarkPrimusSporkAndrewL Ron HowardDisruptedCapitalistminor incidentTofystedethElvenshaeMsAnthropyProlegomenarhylithSyphyreWeaverSleepchromdomBolthornGnome-InterruptusZonugalDrake ChambersToxCalicaJaysonFourani_game_bumMysstStiltsThe Escape Goatlonelyahavachrishallett83JedocTonkkaGnizmoThat Dave FellaCommander ZoomSkeithSorcemightyjongyostopgapLindsay LohanBobbleSlacker71NightDragonironsizideJoolanderdarunia106LoisLane
  • minor incidentminor incident Helen Keller to the bullshit Registered User regular
    Stragint wrote: »
    Is it worth putting my Amex time on my resume? I've only been here since August 13th and I'm still in training.

    Generally any job held for less than 4 to 6 months is a red flag on a resume to potential employers and will do more to hurt your odds of getting a call than help.

    Steam: minor incident || PSN: inter-punct
    You may not find all that you're after. In the end I hope it doesn't matter.
    KetarTynnanDrake ChambersThe Escape GoatSlacker71
  • DisruptedCapitalistDisruptedCapitalist rugged, weathered Registered User regular
    How about public bathrooms where the toilet is jammed and yet that hasn't stopped multiple people from pooping in an ever increasing pile of smelly shit.

    Barf

    webguy20ElvenshaeGnome-InterruptusSlacker71
  • MsAnthropyMsAnthropy Our Lady of Perpetual Mazes The CageRegistered User regular
    So. Job search update. Had two interviews with a pair of Seattle-based tech companies.

    Interview 1
    • Got along with the manager and team really well, and absolutely nailed all of my core subject areas (stats, predictive modeling, business processes).
    • Had a tough time with the programming exercise.
    • Environment seemed super cool, lots of people working with blue / green / purple hair, etc.
    • Industry is one I am not that super interested in, though technical aspects could be near to learn.

    Interview 2
    • I am super interested in the problems this company is working on and I think I was able to convey my enthusiam well.
    • I think I got along well with all but maybe one of the interviewers (one of them seemed to be completely emotionless).
    • The person conducting my business problem interview gave me compliments about the framework I worked out with them.
    • I was able to fully code working solutions to both programming questions, was able to do big O analysis and describe how I would design automated testing procedures. Was very short on time, so wasn’t able to ID how to improve poor scaling algorithm, though.
    • Nailed the first half of a prob/stats question, but was completely flummoxed by a follow-up. I tried to ask clarifying questions, and got a couple of contradictory answers. We were at the last bit of time for working on it, so I had to apologize for not being able to crack it. The interviewer acted like the follow-up was elementary, but digging into it after the fact, I was able to find research papers from the last two years outlining that there is actually no unique solution to that problem without making extra assumptions which were not provided in either the setup or during my questions. Kinda frustrating.
    • Company is absolutely top tier as far as I am concerned. Facilities were also awesome, and I saw at least one gender non-conforming person there, which is comforting to me.

    And now two days later, I had a follow-up call with company 1, and they said they are going to be working on putting an offer together for me even though I got dinged pretty heavily on one portion of the interview. Will be letting company 2 know, as well, because I am still very interested in them.

    OMG. OMG. OMG.

    The company from my second interview last week called this morning to say that they will be sending me an offer this afternoon. They agreed to match what I was asking for in terms of base + bonus, and that the comp package will also include equity grants, a signing bonus, and a relocation bonus. They also did not bat an eye when I mentioned wanting to have 8-12 hours a week of flex scheduling for the first few months as I will likely be shuttling between cities before we sell our house--which we are likely going to wait until next summer to do at the earliest so we can get the best offer.

    "The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby
    JansonKwoaru3clipsewebguy20L Ron Howardminor incidentLiiyaDisruptedCapitalistElvenshaemilskiLaOsDarkPrimusRainfallMadpoetKetarTynnanSyphyrechromdomEl SkidBolthornNaphtaliSporkAndrewGnome-InterruptuspookaTofystedethCapt HowdyDavid_TDrake ChambersschussToxSanderJKJaysonFourani_game_bumMoridin889The Escape GoatAnon the Felonlonelyahavachrishallett83JedocTonkkaFishmanGnizmoThat Dave FellaCommander ZoomSkeithSorcestopgapLindsay LohansarukunPolaritieBobbleSlacker71NightDragonironsizideInfidelBlameless ClericCormac
  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    Woah!!! That’s awesome! Congratulations!!!

    sig.jpg
    MsAnthropyDisruptedCapitalistElvenshaeLaOschromdomEl Skidchrishallett83JedocSkeithSorcesarukunSlacker71
  • rhylithrhylith Registered User regular
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Okay I guess I’m interviewing for the staff assistant job tomorrow!

    Good luck!!!

    Rhylith - <Shambler Milk> Horde Chogall
    MorivethchromdomNaphtaliElvenshaewebguy20Jansonlonelyahavachrishallett83TonkkaSorcestopgapsarukunSlacker71
  • PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Realtor Santa ClaritaRegistered User regular
    edited September 2018
    bowen wrote: »
    I don't blame germaphobes in general. Humans are gross and things like MRSA can make you lose limbs.

    Germaphobia created MRSA :angryface:

    Posted this before I saw there was another page and that enc or one of those Labyrinth guys posted basically the same thing. Fuck it.

    Pinfeldorf on
    Gvzbgul
  • cursedkingcursedking Registered User regular
    so, I recently got a new job, that I am very excited about.

    Meanwhile, the job that I did until then (and gave two weeks' notice to) has withheld my final paycheck. I asked what was going on, and my previous boss has claimed that due to my performance in the time preceding up until my departure, they were considering withholding it. While things were definitely slow, I was never written up for anything or told I was doing a bad job. I worked during the two weeks of transition, doing things they asked me to do without any delay or anything. I turned in my equipment to the office on my last day.

    There's no...way that's legal, right?

  • JavenJaven Registered User regular
    cursedking wrote: »
    so, I recently got a new job, that I am very excited about.

    Meanwhile, the job that I did until then (and gave two weeks' notice to) has withheld my final paycheck. I asked what was going on, and my previous boss has claimed that due to my performance in the time preceding up until my departure, they were considering withholding it. While things were definitely slow, I was never written up for anything or told I was doing a bad job. I worked during the two weeks of transition, doing things they asked me to do without any delay or anything. I turned in my equipment to the office on my last day.

    There's no...way that's legal, right?

    Correct; if they withhold your pay, that is actual theft, and they can be similarly charged with larceny.

    KwoaruMsAnthropySleepL Ron HowardDarkPrimusSporkAndrewGnome-InterruptusDarth WaiterElvenshaeTofystedethwebguy20OghulkDrake ChambersKetarToxminor incidentbalerbowerJansonDisruptedCapitalistani_game_bumMysstSyphyreMoridin889lonelyahavachrishallett83JedocCommander ZoomSkeithSorcestopgapsarukunBobbleSlacker71NightDragonironsizide
  • KakodaimonosKakodaimonos Registered User regular
    Nope. Tell them or e-mail them (including HR and possibly higher level bosses) that if you don't get your last paycheck you'll file a missing wage complaint with your state's department of labor.

    Elvenshaewebguy20chrishallett83JedocstopgapSlacker71
  • cursedkingcursedking Registered User regular
    edited September 2018
    Nope. Tell them or e-mail them (including HR and possibly higher level bosses) that if you don't get your last paycheck you'll file a missing wage complaint with your state's department of labor.

    it's a small office, the person I'm dealing with is the CEO.

    cursedking on
    Elvenshae
  • JavenJaven Registered User regular
    filing a complain with the DOL will more than likely get them to cough it up, because they fucking LOVE dealing with shit like this.

    Elvenshaewebguy20chrishallett83JedocSlacker71
  • KwoaruKwoaru Registered User regular
    Definitely email cause you want to have a clear record of what was said

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  • StragintStragint Do Not Gift Always DeclinesRegistered User regular
    So I'll leave amex off my resume.

    Reached out to this hiring agency that emails me every day. Apparently there is a possible data entry job available and I want it.

    PSN: Reaper_Stragint, Steam: DoublePitstoChesty
    What is the point of being alive if you don't at least try to do something remarkable? ~ Mario Novak

    I never fear death or dyin', I only fear never trying.
This discussion has been closed.