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QUILTBAG: It is a good day to bi.
Posts
I'm afraid shaving doesn't make it grow faster or thicker. This is a common misconception, probably due to the fact that new stubble looks darker and feels heavier than slightly longer hair.
It's likely that the hair on your chin is going to be the first to consolidate. I'm not sure where goatees are on the fashion scale these days, but if you want to experiment with the thickness and color of the full beard you'll end up with, growing one of those will probably be your earliest opportunity.
It's kind of a fun mystery at this point. Will my beard match my hair color, even remotely? Will I have weirdly symmetrical bald patches at random points on my jawline? Let's spin the wheel!
Here have a celebratory selfie:
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
Um tbh I am not completely sure when I started T but some time in the late summer; I give myself a shot once/two weeks with the goal of putting the testosterone level in the normal male range (does this goal make sense for someone transitioning? Completely unclear, but my endocrinologist is unwilling to discuss it, and frankly when I've experimented with giving myself even a slightly higher dose, I get acne, so...I'll stick with doctors' orders for now)
also ty all for the encouragement but I deliberately used the word scattered rather than patchy because the situation now is individually countable hairs, not collective noun hair, heh. I won't be able to see what this shit will look like for quite a while. My dad has worn a beard for my whole life (not sure when he started, but in his early 30s I think), so the genetics are there for successful facial hair (and no particular baldness); I just have to wait for my body chemistry to adjust and hope that the amount of T I am on is sufficient.
air-photos.tumblr.com
air-photos.tumblr.com
yeah it's an optical illusion, it's very easy to notice stubble growing in when you were clean shaven the previous day but it's almost impossible to notice beard growth day to day once it's already out there
Thank you!
I think that eye shadow (and other eye makeups) is going to be the next thing to spend some time on learning I think.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
She just told me to buy a party dress.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
I highly recommend checking out more of his stuff if you like his vibe, he has videos dating back well pre-transition and does a lot of interviews with other trans, and some cis, folks about gender and transition, and he's always really insightful and positive. Sadly he doesn't update any more. I guess his journey is basically finished.
I think it's mostly because facial hair typically gets naturally thicker as puberty leads to adulthood, and humanity has always had a habit of mistaking correlation for causation.
Chefkiss.gif
Hi Santa/Satan!
Video games -> PSN and Twitch: The_Road_Virus Steam: TheRoadVirus
I mean that photo cracks me up but seriously, part of reinventing oneself as male is transcending the need to look ‘pretty’ and ‘friendly’ in every photo. Walking through the world as female means being judged on appearances first, always. Walking through the world as male your first impression and appearances of course do matter, but people will subconsciously aim to look more to your competencies and achievements and attitude. I stopped smiling in selfies—well or if I do, it’s generally a cat-who-got-the-canary sort of smile—because it’s no longer my obligation to be pleasant and fuckable, and that’s fantastic.
air-photos.tumblr.com
This is a pic of one of the reasons why - me with my new boyfriend (he's in the cap, I'm in the green hoody):
It's been a crazy few months with all sorts of stuff, but I've never been happier than when I have this adorable human being in my arms
Ocean, tears and heartbreak soup
Half alive in a whitecap foam
Half in love with a white half moon
Yeah, totally agree. . .
Wait a minute, Hey!
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
I'm fast approaching 50, HIV+, spent most of my life dealing with screwed up, messy relationships and just as messy mental health stuff, and pretty much convinced that, after my last 10 year relationship finally totally crashed and burned that that was it for me.
And yet here I am having found someone who makes me unbelievably happy, and who gives me hope that there actually are still good things in this life, and that I'm never too old to get to experience them for myself.
So yeah, that's my message I guess. No matter what you are facing, no matter what level of 'shoulda, coulda, oughta' you experience when you look back at your life...it is never too late to take those first steps towards being the 'you' that you want yourself to be, however that may manifest.
Here's to all of us on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum!
Ocean, tears and heartbreak soup
Half alive in a whitecap foam
Half in love with a white half moon
Obviously you are free to be like ‘fuck the patriarchy’ and refuse to give into any of this bullshit as you start to walk through life outwardly as a woman instead of just inwardly. But it is definitely an active choice you will have to make and fight for in defiance of expectations. Our culture suckssssssssssss
air-photos.tumblr.com
In the last month and a half I’ve gone to visit my girlfriend three times! It’s a hell of a drive, about eleven hours one way, but so absolutely worth it every time. Last time she introduced me to her parents, which is obviously major. This time we spent a little more time with her parents (pedicures with her mom!) and the next day I was introduced to the grandparents, which, I mean, extended family? I’m so in.
I mean, I already knew I was in because she’s actually moving in with me in less than three weeks! Things are moving very quickly, and while it’s certainly a little scary (neither of us has lived with a partner before), it just feels so right. It’s been just...overwhelmingly amazing. I didn’t know I could ever feel like this, or that I would ever find someone like her. Some of this feeling I’m sure comes from just actually being able to be myself around a partner, but most of it is her, I think; I just feel so comfortable and happy to be next to her, and listen to her nerd out about shit, and get into fun arguments with her and be there when she’s feeling a little low, and from our first night together, I’ve slept like a rock when I’m with her (I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping at night with others in the past)
I’m just very ecstatic and overjoyed and wanted to get it off my chest!
In other news, getting all of my financial stuff changed over has been a massive headache. I am on an average 2-3 calls / attempts per account to actually have my name changed. It was 10x easier getting a new SSA card and passport.
I’m clicking awesome on this post for like, the first three or four sentences. I’m sorry about your sister. Since transitioning, I haven’t spoken to two of my brothers at all. On the plus side, my relationships and social life are all better than before, so it’s balanced itself out a bit. I’ve always preferred the company of chosen family anyway.
Congrats on getting through one of the hardest parts of all this! (Well, for me anyway, coming out was the hardest part by far)
Thanks!
And, yeah, coming out to a room of 20 people at work was an, uh, experience.
Ohhh
Oh god
!!!
Fuck this is really cute and I'm so goddamn happy for you. You're a warm and lovely human and deserve lots of goodness in your life
Hi Santa/Satan!
Video games -> PSN and Twitch: The_Road_Virus Steam: TheRoadVirus
They got on great with Christine and me, and things felt comfortable and not pressured and just...everything was great. I have been a bit of a mess all day since I woke up (I'm awful at goodbyes) but tried to make sure to enjoy the last of my time together with them for now.
I took a lot of photos this weekend and of the ones I can share, here's a little gallery of us all being dorks
Also I got some bad news today
(CW: self harm)
Life is hard, and I'm sad that he was in a place where that seemed like the best solution. I hope he is in a better place and that he's not hurting.
So yeah today was a lot. Hi how are you
Hi Santa/Satan!
Video games -> PSN and Twitch: The_Road_Virus Steam: TheRoadVirus
On the other part I’m so sorry
Giving you the biggest e-hugs I possibly can. Make sure you're ok and have someone to talk to yourself about that (be it Christine or someone else) - that sort of news can hit folks in all sorts of unexpected ways *big hugs*
Ocean, tears and heartbreak soup
Half alive in a whitecap foam
Half in love with a white half moon
It was also just a rough day since Jason was leaving that same day. I had just written them a long note and snuck it into one of my books and then snuck THAT into their luggage when I got the news so I at least got a little bit of feelings vented that way first?
I've been trying to turn my sad "agggggh they're leaving me" energy into letting people know how much I care about and appreciate them. I did a similar thing at pax, just without the book.
Hi Santa/Satan!
Video games -> PSN and Twitch: The_Road_Virus Steam: TheRoadVirus
Thanks? Thanks
I'm bad at accepting compliments. But this is nice and you're nice and yeah. Thanks
Hi Santa/Satan!
Video games -> PSN and Twitch: The_Road_Virus Steam: TheRoadVirus
That's something you're gonna have to get better at, lady, because you routinely do compliment-worthy stuff
Hey woah none of that! No compliment piles! I'm just trying to love and live and be minimally shitty where possible
Hi Santa/Satan!
Video games -> PSN and Twitch: The_Road_Virus Steam: TheRoadVirus
Twitter
Hey hi it was really nice to meet you in person, even if just for a few minutes. You're a good and sweet human and I wish we could've hung out more. Next time!
Hi Santa/Satan!
Video games -> PSN and Twitch: The_Road_Virus Steam: TheRoadVirus
This, this, a hundred times this @Erin The Red . You are legitimately one of the loveliest folks on this forum, and this forum is already filled with some of the loveliest people already so that's a pretty impressive playing field right there. I don't get to interact with you (or indeed really anyone else on here) anything like as much as I feel I probably should (or want to sometimes) but you are absolutely a wonderful person and I'm glad that you've been able to share that unexpected emotional weight with other people.
Also, yeah, speaking as a fellow 'no don't pay me compliments because I really don't deserve them or merit them' person, you are going to have to get used to the fact that plenty of folks here and out there in the big wide scary world think you are compliment-worthy
I have the same thing with my new man - he'll say something nice about me, I immediately go into negative 'nah I'm not really' mode and he pulls me up on that.
It's...nice, and lovely, and makes me feel stupidly warm and fuzzy inside when he does it too.
Ocean, tears and heartbreak soup
Half alive in a whitecap foam
Half in love with a white half moon
HR is ghosting me and since I switched my job search to my female name and resume I am getting far far less interest.
Welp all of this was to be expected I suppose.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
Expected or not, that blows. A lot. I'm sorry HR didn't follow through on being there for you. Is there a way you can maybe loop your manager or director in on your communications to HR? Let them know that you'll go higher up if needed or something? Your rights being upheld and you being treated for respect is very important.
Also I definitely feel you on the job search. I used to not have an issue at all getting jobs before. Now I can't even get interviews. It's wild, since I've only gotten MORE skilled at stuff, not less. So what gives?
Hi Santa/Satan!
Video games -> PSN and Twitch: The_Road_Virus Steam: TheRoadVirus