Oh this is really cool. I don't know how many have been following disney cartoon Star vs. the Forces of Evil, but a recent episode revealed that the main character Star Butterfly is bisexual.
Basically she's adventuring in a dimension where her best friend Marco spent years becoming a buff badass, and they meet up with an old lady warrior friend of his, and she spends most of the episode blushing over both of them.
Hm my everyday colleague and collaborator is having a really hard time with my pronouns; sometimes she just decides to use my name cause that’s easier, and the rest of the time it’s “she...he” (self-correct) or at very best “...he” (self-policing before arriving at the right answer)
Which...I mean, it doesn’t require action on my part; she gets what the deal is and is trying to talk correctly. But it’s also a clear sign to me that my presentation just *completely* doesn’t work.
I need a beard >:[
Or I need to stop talking and acting like a friendly millennial girl but ehhh
I wouldn’t take responsibility on your self, it’s probably just that her mental mapping is off. I too, look forward to you joining the beard club however. Beards are good.
I second this. While I replaced the name for my friend when she started transitioning relatively quickly, pronouns took much longer for me to get down, and it had nothing to do with the way she looked or behaved. It was as simple as my brain filling in the pronouns before I could think, cause when we would hang out and conversation was flowing, it would fill in before I could think about it. I had to start slowing down my responses to make sure I was getting the pronouns right. Not slowing down as in saying things more slowly, but just taking a moment to think of my response before saying it. After awhile the brain’s autocorrect got fixed and I started not slipping up nearly as often.
Also beards are fun, and for most people who grow them, there is a style you can rock that will make you look good.
Hm my everyday colleague and collaborator is having a really hard time with my pronouns; sometimes she just decides to use my name cause that’s easier, and the rest of the time it’s “she...he” (self-correct) or at very best “...he” (self-policing before arriving at the right answer)
Which...I mean, it doesn’t require action on my part; she gets what the deal is and is trying to talk correctly. But it’s also a clear sign to me that my presentation just *completely* doesn’t work.
I need a beard >:[
Or I need to stop talking and acting like a friendly millennial girl but ehhh
I wouldn’t take responsibility on your self, it’s probably just that her mental mapping is off. I too, look forward to you joining the beard club however. Beards are good.
I wonder if it’ll ever be possible. Men on both sides of my family have good beards (and are not bald) but I cannot count on any of that actually working for me, so I’m not going to particularly anticipate it happening. Maybe 5 years from now; maybe never. I’ll be sad if it’s never, but what can you do.
I suspect that even if you don't get the full lumberjack (most people don't) you'll be able to grow some kind of facial hair that you can extract some joy out of. It's one of the reasons that I don't like beard-shaming: beards are a lot of fun and unique to each individual and people should be encouraged to enjoy the individualities of their appearance.
I have a ginormo beard but I find that a lighter mustache and chin beard (which is usually indicative of an inability to grow a ginormo beard) is very fetching on a lot of guys as long as it well-kept
+1
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Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
do we have a taxes thread because holy shit i'm mad
turns out, starting THIS YEAR, only active duty military gets to claim moving expenses
so i guess i'll probably just go die.
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KwoaruConfident SmirkFlawless Golden PecsRegistered Userregular
edited March 2019
Oh shit thats terrible Metzger
Also H&A has a thread about taxes and maybe somebody there can help somehow
Kwoaru on
+4
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Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
Nah I did a bunch of googling and it seems like there's just no way to claim those expenses so, eh. C'est la vie!
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Erin The RedThe Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMABaton Rouge, LARegistered Userregular
"This letter isn't specific enough. It has to say you have successfully undergone transition surgery. Come back once you have that"
That's been a pretty common requirement across most jurisdictions going back over a decade ago and it was garbage then and continues to be unacceptable garbage now
A medical statement signed by a physician stating that the applicant has undergone a successful gender change/reassignment.
That does NOT say surgery. So that DMV clerk can go screw themselves even harder.
+9
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GrogMy sword is only steelin a useful shape.Registered Userregular
Had the same issue at the passport office, they wanted the letter to state that I had "already completed transition". You know this shit takes time right?
Thankfully my GP was super helpful and sorted me out, hope you have similar luck Erin.
I was gonna say "when'd any of y'all stop growing and expanding your understanding of self" but then I remembered that a core component of conservatism is a refusal to grow or change as a person.
+22
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Erin The RedThe Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMABaton Rouge, LARegistered Userregular
I got kinda snippy with the guy at the counter. I know it's not his fault the policy is there
But I was like "you can't COMPLETE transition. I am going to take hormone pills every day until the day I die. I'll be complete when I'm in the ground.
And doesn't it suck that I have to be basically sterilized for the state to see me as who I am? Nobody else needs to do that to change something on their license. Nobody else needs a doctor's note."
He just nodded, shrugged, and slid the paper back across the desk
Oh yeah, like the week after I came out at work I dyed my hair. Then a few weeks later I got my ears pierced.
+10
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MsAnthropyThe Lady of Pain Breaks the Rhythm, Breaks the Rhythm, Breaks the RhythmThe City of FlowersRegistered Userregular
There is something about taking ownership of one’s body. I am talking to someone at a tattoo place for my birthday this year to talk about 3-4 ideas I have, and I’ve never been interested in them before. Then here in a few months when my hair gets to the point where my wig is too difficult to keep in place, I think I am going to switch to a topper and get both it and my hair dyed purple or blue.
Last night I colored my hair and today I went and got my ears peirced.
I fucking love being a girl.
This actually put a thought in my head. I wish men got more of a pass to feel comfortable doing this. It's a shame that society paints an idea that it's okay for women to colour their hair and pierce their ears and wear some eccentric jewelry. Whether you see a woman on street, or at work (formal, business or otherwise), most interactions with people would seem "normal".
Outside of very specific environments however, if a guy shows up to work (thinking more office/corporate type stuff) with radically dyed hair, pierced ears and anything other a simple ring, wedding band or metal-banded Rolex watch, there would be an incredibly different perception of them. Why does it have to be Armani suits and matching ties all the time?
Don't get me wrong - a nice Italian suit can feel great, but I know if I showed up to work with highlights or dual-coloured hair, some ear studs or a cartilege piercing, and maybe a visible tattoo somewhere, my upward progression in my company would likely grind to a halt.
PSN: TheArcadeBear
Steam: TheArcadeBear
+6
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CambiataCommander ShepardThe likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered Userregular
To be fair, I do expect colored hair affects the perception of a woman and her upward progression at work. Just not as much as being a woman already affects that.
"If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
Triple J (the Australian national youth radio station) has a weekly program on love, dating and sex called "The Hook Up", and this week they devoted the two hours to the topic of being trans while dating. You can listen online here (after a 45 second promo for the weekday morning show).
+12
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GrogMy sword is only steelin a useful shape.Registered Userregular
I will be celebrating tdov today by staying indoors and playing videogames
+9
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
My dad sent me a message saying "Happy LGBT day". I assume that means TDOV. I have no idea how he knows that's a thing but it was a nice gesture.
Posts
Ah yes that old chestnut. Ugh.
Basically she's adventuring in a dimension where her best friend Marco spent years becoming a buff badass, and they meet up with an old lady warrior friend of his, and she spends most of the episode blushing over both of them.
I second this. While I replaced the name for my friend when she started transitioning relatively quickly, pronouns took much longer for me to get down, and it had nothing to do with the way she looked or behaved. It was as simple as my brain filling in the pronouns before I could think, cause when we would hang out and conversation was flowing, it would fill in before I could think about it. I had to start slowing down my responses to make sure I was getting the pronouns right. Not slowing down as in saying things more slowly, but just taking a moment to think of my response before saying it. After awhile the brain’s autocorrect got fixed and I started not slipping up nearly as often.
Also beards are fun, and for most people who grow them, there is a style you can rock that will make you look good.
I have a ginormo beard but I find that a lighter mustache and chin beard (which is usually indicative of an inability to grow a ginormo beard) is very fetching on a lot of guys as long as it well-kept
turns out, starting THIS YEAR, only active duty military gets to claim moving expenses
so i guess i'll probably just go die.
Also H&A has a thread about taxes and maybe somebody there can help somehow
After waiting an hour
LOVE IT
Fuck gatekeeping.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
Some government explicitly state you need to be sterilized, most just hide behind saying you need to have had GRS first.
A letter! A single letter on an ID
It's also bullshit
http://web01.dps.louisiana.gov/omv1.nsf/58c968bd569b099986256cdc000806eb/bf53b205455ad9d0862564ae0058feab?OpenDocument
That does NOT say surgery. So that DMV clerk can go screw themselves even harder.
Thankfully my GP was super helpful and sorted me out, hope you have similar luck Erin.
it's a lifelong journey fuckos.
I was gonna say "when'd any of y'all stop growing and expanding your understanding of self" but then I remembered that a core component of conservatism is a refusal to grow or change as a person.
But I was like "you can't COMPLETE transition. I am going to take hormone pills every day until the day I die. I'll be complete when I'm in the ground.
And doesn't it suck that I have to be basically sterilized for the state to see me as who I am? Nobody else needs to do that to change something on their license. Nobody else needs a doctor's note."
He just nodded, shrugged, and slid the paper back across the desk
I fucking love being a girl.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
Hells yeah, sister. You be you!
what color!
"The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby
Copper red!
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
I'm utterly melted over this turn of events and I love them with all my doofus heart
they've been my person for about as long as I've been lurking this forum/board (so, 11 years)
wow life.
Congrats!
The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun.
This actually put a thought in my head. I wish men got more of a pass to feel comfortable doing this. It's a shame that society paints an idea that it's okay for women to colour their hair and pierce their ears and wear some eccentric jewelry. Whether you see a woman on street, or at work (formal, business or otherwise), most interactions with people would seem "normal".
Outside of very specific environments however, if a guy shows up to work (thinking more office/corporate type stuff) with radically dyed hair, pierced ears and anything other a simple ring, wedding band or metal-banded Rolex watch, there would be an incredibly different perception of them. Why does it have to be Armani suits and matching ties all the time?
Don't get me wrong - a nice Italian suit can feel great, but I know if I showed up to work with highlights or dual-coloured hair, some ear studs or a cartilege piercing, and maybe a visible tattoo somewhere, my upward progression in my company would likely grind to a halt.
Steam: TheArcadeBear
that's so cute aaaaa
I'm delighted!
"The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby
ineedmayo.com Eidolon Journal Updated
pardon the mess in the background