As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/
We're funding a new Acquisitions Incorporated series on Kickstarter right now! Check it out at https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/pennyarcade/acquisitions-incorporated-the-series-2

movies: at any moment in your life, you, too, could fall into a pit full of snakes...

11718202223100

Posts

  • GustavGustav Friend of Goats Somewhere in the OzarksRegistered User regular
    Tony Stark enjoys jerkin it to his reflection off the mask of an empty Iron Man suit more than sex

    aGPmIBD.jpg
    Andy JoeL Ron Howardel_vicio
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    Moon Knight's probably the only super hero that can have a wank session and an orgy at the same time.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    Preacher wrote: »
    Moon Knight's probably the only super hero that can have a wank session and an orgy at the same time.

    Jamie Madrox is like, right there

    ikbUJdU.jpg
    ShortyStraightziDarkPrimusBlankZoeMagellRorshach KringleFencingsaxZonugalSorceRaijin QuickfootDouglasDanger3cl1ps3durandal4532OlivawBear_thescondBobbleJoolanderReynolds
  • minor incidentminor incident expert in a dying field njRegistered User regular
    Tube wrote: »
    Tony Stark is way more likely than Bruce Wayne to believe that masturbstion robs him of the secret manly essence of his cum or some bullshit.

    Yeah, I think there's some meat to the theory that masturbation is the true delineation between Bruce and Tony, but that it's Bruce who beats it and Tony doesn't believe in it.

    I'd bet he loopholes it by using a suit to do it though.

    Like a masturbation version of an appliance with a sabbath mode.

    Everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty
  • TubeTube Registered User admin
    Batman has no use for toxic masculinity and Tony Stark is ruled by it.

  • Commander ZoomCommander Zoom Registered User regular
    "A lot of people ask me, how do I jerk off in my suit. ... Just like that."

    steam_sig.png
    Steam, Warframe: Megajoule
    Bobble
  • LalaboxLalabox Registered User regular
    batman's canonical penis is pretty disappointing

  • astrobstrdastrobstrd So full of mercy... Registered User regular
    Disappointing penis, huh? Who says Marvel has all the superheroes you can relate to?

    Selling the Scream Podcast: https://anchor.fm/jeremy-donaldson
    sarukun2 Marcus 2 RavensMysstL Ron HowardBobble
  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    can we get a convoluted in-universe justification for that? Pretty please, those are my favourite.

    It's actually a 2000 year old vampire in the body of a teen boy.

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    Mysst wrote: »
    Preacher wrote: »
    Moon Knight's probably the only super hero that can have a wank session and an orgy at the same time.

    Jamie Madrox is like, right there

    I'm not sure I'd call Jamie Madrox a "super hero".

  • BlankZoeBlankZoe Registered User regular
    Mysst wrote: »
    Preacher wrote: »
    Moon Knight's probably the only super hero that can have a wank session and an orgy at the same time.

    Jamie Madrox is like, right there

    I'm not sure I'd call Jamie Madrox a "super hero".
    He is called Multiple Man, has super powers and has been on multiple X-Men teams what more could you want

    CYpGAPn.png
    ShortyOmnipotentBagelMysst
  • WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    If we're gonna have two overlapping weird conversations about superheroes going, can we at least drop the offensive one and focus on superhero jerkin off?

    Steam! Battlenet:Wisemantobes#1508
  • BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User regular
    if one of multiple man jerks off another of him is that masturbation

    BahamutZERO.gif
  • BlankZoeBlankZoe Registered User regular
    if one of multiple man jerks off another of him is that masturbation
    Yup

    Very fancy masturbation

    CYpGAPn.png
    ShortyFencingsaxOmnipotentBagel
  • WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    Is it masturbation if Green lantern fucks one of his light constructs?

    Steam! Battlenet:Wisemantobes#1508
  • GustavGustav Friend of Goats Somewhere in the OzarksRegistered User regular
    well now this is getting immature

    aGPmIBD.jpg
  • BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    Is it masturbation if Green lantern fucks one of his light constructs?

    Don't kink shame

    Theodore FlooseveltSorceKruiteBobble
  • GvzbgulGvzbgul Registered User regular
    Is it masturbation if Green lantern fucks one of his light constructs?
    I believe it'd be the same thing as when Swamp Thing was stuck on a alien planet devoid of life and he created a replica of his life back on Earth. Yes.

  • WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    Brainleech wrote: »
    Is it masturbation if Green lantern fucks one of his light constructs?

    Don't kink shame

    Not shaming, just curious on the terminology!

    Steam! Battlenet:Wisemantobes#1508
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    Blankzilla wrote: »
    Mysst wrote: »
    Preacher wrote: »
    Moon Knight's probably the only super hero that can have a wank session and an orgy at the same time.

    Jamie Madrox is like, right there

    I'm not sure I'd call Jamie Madrox a "super hero".
    He is called Multiple Man, has super powers and has been on multiple X-Men teams what more could you want

    he doesn't fight much crime, does he

  • BlankZoeBlankZoe Registered User regular
    He was literally a detective who solved mysteries and busted criminals

    CYpGAPn.png
    Rorshach KringleRaijin QuickfootDouglasDangerOmnipotentBagelShortyIloveslimesAJRKetar
  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    Animal Man doing some important pre-jerk research

    zsXR666.jpg

    Gustavminor incidentBlankZoeVeldrinFencingsaxTheodore FlooseveltDonovan PuppyfuckerSorceDarkPrimusStiltsRaijin QuickfootMagell2 Marcus 2 RavensEtchwartsZonugal3cl1ps3OmnipotentBagelOlivawGarlic BreadMysstMorivethL Ron HowardBobbleJoolanderMrGrimoireFawstsponoAJRSenorTacos
  • minor incidentminor incident expert in a dying field njRegistered User regular
    That might be my favorite post in this whole damn thread.

    Everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty
  • minor incidentminor incident expert in a dying field njRegistered User regular
    Blankzilla wrote: »
    Mysst wrote: »
    Preacher wrote: »
    Moon Knight's probably the only super hero that can have a wank session and an orgy at the same time.

    Jamie Madrox is like, right there

    I'm not sure I'd call Jamie Madrox a "super hero".
    He is called Multiple Man, has super powers and has been on multiple X-Men teams what more could you want

    he doesn't fight much crime, does he

    I was going to make a crack about Silver Surfer not stopping much crime either, but then I realized one of you assholes would find some panel from the 70s showing him stopping someone from committing mail fraud, so whatever.

    Everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty
    AJR
  • MaddocMaddoc I'm Bobbin Threadbare, are you my mother? Registered User regular
    The only one allowed to be called a super hero is the Golden Oldie

    97H9G7S.png PSN - Masked Unit | FFXIV - Laitarne Gilgamesh
  • ElderlycrawfishElderlycrawfish Registered User regular
    edited November 2018
    The Wildstorm stuff is still part of DC, right? Then yeah, there's a whole lotta jerkin going on in the DC Universe.

    Elderlycrawfish on
    PSN/Steam - Elderlycrawfish
  • FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    edited November 2018
    I am assuming by the lack of argument that there is universal agreement that Steph is totally ska, by the way.

    Fencingsax on
    minor incident
  • BlankZoeBlankZoe Registered User regular
    Into the Spider-Verse impressions are starting to come in, pretty much universal acclaim with many critics calling it the best Spider-Man movie ever, the best animated movie of the year and one of the best movies of the year period.

    Super goddamn excited

    CYpGAPn.png
    ph blakeMunkus BeaverJohnny ChopsockyMuddy WatersarukunSorcewanderingStiltsRaijin QuickfootDouglasDangerSweeney Tom2 Marcus 2 RavensEtchwartsJimothyYaYaminor incidentJayricho3cl1ps3OmnipotentBageldurandal4532PsykomaOlivawBear_thescondA Dabble Of TheloniusBahamutZEROEmperorSethBobbleIloveslimesVeldrinDrCongoAJRLegacySnowbearMarek
  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Blankzilla wrote: »
    Into the Spider-Verse impressions are starting to come in, pretty much universal acclaim with many critics calling it the best Spider-Man movie ever, the best animated movie of the year and one of the best movies of the year period.

    Super goddamn excited

    That's.

    Fuckin excellent.

    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
    sarukunDouglasDangerJayricho3cl1ps3durandal4532OlivawEmperorSethBobbleLegacy
  • Rorshach KringleRorshach Kringle that crustache life Registered User regular
    that is way too much hyperbolic praise for me to parse buuuuuuuuut

    i still have hype

    6vjsgrerts6r.png

    MaddocJayrichoOlivawAphostileLegacy
  • BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    I know I had a very shitty year but they made a multiable spiderman movie?

  • Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    I don't really movie thread because I 1) hardly watch movies anymore and 2) hate arguing about movies SO MUCH

    But

    I'm just

    I'm just so happy I checked the thread and got to read this very important discussion about superheroes jerking it

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
    Donovan PuppyfuckerMaddocsarukunwanderingLalaboxRaijin Quickfootastrobstrd2 Marcus 2 RavensZonugalminor incident3cl1ps3OmnipotentBagelPsykomaOlivawL Ron HowardBobbleJoolanderMrGrimoireTynnan
  • DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    Blankzilla wrote: »
    Into the Spider-Verse impressions are starting to come in, pretty much universal acclaim with many critics calling it the best Spider-Man movie ever, the best animated movie of the year and one of the best movies of the year period.

    Super goddamn excited

    look I'm also very excited for into the spider-verse but people called both the amazing spider-man and spider-man homecoming the best spider-man movies ever so I'm gonna need to judge this for myself

    wanderingGvzbgulFencingsaxDonovan PuppyfuckerStiltsDouglasDangerMuddy WaterGustavdarunia1063cl1ps3LordSolarMachariusGreasyKidsStuff
  • DouglasDangerDouglasDanger PennsylvaniaRegistered User regular
    What if all three of them are good?

    I wish someone would have the different live action movie Spider-Men interact

    I guess PS4 Spider-Man appeared in one of the Spider-Verse books, so that is neat

    durandal4532
  • el_vicioel_vicio Registered User regular
    I don't really movie thread because I 1) hardly watch movies anymore and 2) hate arguing about movies SO MUCH

    But

    I'm just

    I'm just so happy I checked the thread and got to read this very important discussion about superheroes jerking it

    I kinda watch movies in waves. I don't for months at a time and then something either releases in the theater that sets me off, or the need just rises, and I watch almost a movie per day for a while.
    Now that Mandy is on Amazon, it might happen again. Soon...

    ouxsemmi8rm9.png

  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    Mandy is also on Shudder tomorrow

    wandering
  • 3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    Animal Man doing some important pre-jerk research

    zsXR666.jpg

    It's pigs, by the way.

  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    I don't really movie thread because I 1) hardly watch movies anymore and 2) hate arguing about movies SO MUCH

    But

    I'm just

    I'm just so happy I checked the thread and got to read this very important discussion about superheroes jerking it

    Yeah I'll miss days of conversation because it moves quickly and it's largely about stuff I don't really have input on. I really picked the best time to dip back in.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

    Reynolds
  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    This is an origin story for viewers who didn’t think they could stomach another origin story; it’s an origin story about how empowering origin stories can be.

    2 Marcus 2 RavenswanderingFencingsaxDarkPrimusJohnny ChopsockysarukunDrCongo
  • HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    3clipse wrote: »
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    Animal Man doing some important pre-jerk research

    zsXR666.jpg

    It's pigs, by the way.

    Oh look at Dr. Jism over here with the definitive statements, tell me professor how hard does a gulper eel cum? A platypus? A hyena? You don't know you charlatan, pigs indeed

    OmnipotentBagelOlivawminor incident3cl1ps3Straightzi2 Marcus 2 RavensSorceRaijin QuickfootZonugalAndy JoeMagellHermanoEtchwartsCentipede DamascusBobbleJoolanderdarunia106sarukunReynoldsMidnite
This discussion has been closed.