This is actually a continuation of a discussion I had in the holiday forum Family thread, and I still feel like I could use some advice despite the very excellent contributions in that thread. I apologize that this will be long.
To recap my situation and add additional context:
I'm estranged from most of my family, not no contact but very little contact with any of them except the sister who lives closest to me, I'll call her Sunshine. However, just before Christmas, a group text was sent to all 12 siblings (or those who have cellphones, anyway) started by another sister, who we'll call MLM, as to what we should do about one of my brothers, Shitlord.
MLM said that there were bad things happening in Shitlord's home and that things were coming to a head and we needed to do something about it. I, perhaps foolishly, choose this opportunity to let the siblings know that Shitlord had long abused me emotionally until I permanently cut him from my life (I've asked questions about how to handle Shitlord in this forum before). I also suggested that if there were any doubts about that abuse, then the siblings should consult Shitlord's adult step son, "Cool", because I was sure he'd have stories to tell. It should be noted that Shitlord currently has a 12 year old son living at home, "Kid." The discussion seemed to be how to help Shitlord - everyone agrees that he's obviously mentally ill and has a drug abuse habit. My brother "Strum" shared recordings of voicemails from Shitlord where he he's obviously having some paranoid delusions (worries that the grocery store clerk poisoned his cigarettes, seeing the blood of an animal somewhere and saying "someone is trying to set me up, aren't they?", are two examples). Check him into a drug program, try to get him to voluntarily check into a mental facility, that sort of thing.
I was not super into the "Poor Shitlord" narrative, especially since I was sure Shitlord would be abusing Kid, knowing his history with me and a small part of his history with Cool. But everyone was all "let's wait for the holidays to be over, what's the rush?" and "Mom wants us to wait, Cool wants us to wait." Strum said he would have a talk with Cool so he could get more perspective. I trusted Strum as one of the few adults in the family, although I don't speak with him regularly. What I really wanted was counseling for Kid and for Shitlord's wife, "Music." And for Kid to be taken out of that house. The day before Christmas we learned that my parents had gone to see Shitlord, there had been a confrontation, Shitlord had gotten physical with my dad (who is elderly and pretty frail at this point) and my dad being pushed into a corner had pulled a gun on Shitlord. Shitlord called several relatives with this story. Sunshine, bless her, told him to call the police if he felt his safety threatened, but Shitlord did not. I called my mom immediately upon hearing this alarming story and asked if it were true. She and my father seemed in good spirits and she said no such thing happened. I shared what my mom told me and I was sure this was one of Shitlord's lies to make him look like the victim at all times. After mulling it over for a couple of days I called my mom again to warn her to be careful what she says and does in front of Shitlord (and maybe to record it), and during that conversation I found out that in fact my dad HAD pulled a gun on Shitlord after being physically threatened. Which, yeah, really good way to deal with this situation. The brother who lives with my parents, Musclehead, wanted to have a fight with Shitlord as if that would fix literally anything. As you can see my family is not great at being functional in any sense. To be clear though, my mom hadn't lied about the gun, she apparently hadn't seen that part of the confrontation, she had been in Shitlord's house at the time and the gun came out outside.
Anyway, all that was bad enough, but I was devastated yesterday when Strum - again the one I thought was a normal adult, as well as being kind and thoughtful - said he had "heard no evidence of abuse." It felt like a slap in the face. That's when I found out that several family members believed that when I said "abuse" what I meant was "he called me mean names sometimes." I gave them a direct example (the times when we were both living at home when Shitlord would decide he had to have a discussion with me and would following me all over the house insisting we have a discussion whether I wanted it or not, for literally hours if there were no adults around), but I don't think it worked because I don't think they know what abuse looks like. I asked Strum if he also told Cool that he didn't believe his narrative of abuse, and I found that STRUM HADN'T EVEN ASKED COOL IF HE HAD BEEN ABUSED OR HOW. Then and only then did MLM give us the messages she had gotten from Music and the reason she had reached out in the first place - Shitlord apparently had also been guilty of physical abuse when Cool and when Kid were too young to fight back (around age 10 for Cool, "when he was a baby" for Kid). Kid had told his mom "I don't want to be part of this family anymore."
So now we come to today. Strum has said that he doesn't thing CPS is a good idea because they might not even do anything, and if they do do something they might take Kid away from Shitlord and "nobody wants that." After reading that both kids were put in the ER by Shitlord he still thinks no one wants Kid taken to a new home. I should also add that another sister, Pillar, offered to take Kid in, even before we knew about the physical abuse.
I don't live in the same town as Kid. The people who live in the same town as Kid are a bunch of people who don't understand what abuse looks like and are most likely part of the "Poor Shitlord" train who think that Kid shouldn't get moved to a better home. What I want to do is communicate to Kid that he has family who can take him in should he wish to leave, that he isn't trapped
there. I worry that if he doesn't have an out he may commit suicide, though nothing on that has been communicated. What we know of how Shitlord treats Kid is that he constantly tells Kid that he's stupid, an idiot, a jerk, that he laughs at Kid in front of the parents of Music's clients, that Kid is in pain with the way Shitlord treats him. We also have been told that Kid loves Shitlord and doesn't want to be taken away, which may be true. We know that Shitlord has put Kid in the ER when Kid was a baby. Knowing that I can only go through third parties, what can I do? I'm already planning on calling my mom and asking her to get a disposable phone for Kid and that I'll gladly pay for that. I'm going to ask her to make sure Kid knows that he can stay at her house for any reason and doesn't have to explain (this one might be a hard sell). Kid is about to be a teenager, I can only see this situation getting worse. Any other ideas for what I can do to help him from afar?