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The Happy Puppy [chat] Thread

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    IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    _J_ wrote: »
    She wanted to have sex because she was raped a week after we started dating. And before that happened we were all happy and snuggly and great, but then she was raped and wanted to have sex, but she wanted to use a condom, which is something she usually didn't do. So there was this whole psychological shit-storm surrounding it and a gigantic "I don't really want to have sex with you so much as I want to have sex and you are here" thing going on.

    It was terrifically terrible and complicated. I thought I was doing the right thing. I still don't know if I was.

    Hey, it's 1:47 a.m. and _J_ is talking about his ex girlfriend on the PA forums. GO TEAM.

    Ah.

    Okay.

    Generally speaking, condoms are never a bad thing.

    Further speaking, if she is actually comfortable with having sex just after being raped, it may well be something you should encourage, because it may have helped her get -over- the event, by letting her remind herself that there is a fun side to it. Obviously, requires much more info, which I doubt you want to get in to, but, eh.

    --

    Oro, seriously, my advice? Stick to switches. Subs are usually only a danger if they're psycho, switches aren't likely to become extremists because hey, you'll return the favor, but doms...

    Doms tend to be assholes.

    (No puns)

    Incenjucar on
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    SavantSavant Simply Barbaric Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Oboro wrote: »
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    Fisting you in the... what the fuck, woman.

    Does he know you are not Lady Goatse?
    From what I've experienced and heard second-hand about the dominating types, the tighter you are, the wider they want to get you. It's like some sort of sick extreme sport, except GoGurt hasn't made a TV spot based on it.

    Yet.

    TMI...TMI

    Savant on
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    _J__J_ Pedant Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    _J_ wrote: »
    She wanted to have sex because she was raped a week after we started dating. And before that happened we were all happy and snuggly and great, but then she was raped and wanted to have sex, but she wanted to use a condom, which is something she usually didn't do. So there was this whole psychological shit-storm surrounding it and a gigantic "I don't really want to have sex with you so much as I want to have sex and you are here" thing going on.

    It was terrifically terrible and complicated. I thought I was doing the right thing. I still don't know if I was.

    Hey, it's 1:47 a.m. and _J_ is talking about his ex girlfriend on the PA forums. GO TEAM.

    Ah.

    Okay.

    Generally speaking, condoms are never a bad thing.

    Further speaking, if she is actually comfortable with having sex just after being raped, it may well be something you should encourage, because it may have helped her get -over- the event, by letting her remind herself that there is a fun side to it. Obviously, requires much more info, which I doubt you want to get in to, but, eh.

    Yeah. I think that I probably should have let her "use me" for sex at the time. It might have helped.

    But apparently shortly after dumping me she found another guy to fuck. And then she told me about it...which was AWESOME.

    damn it damn it damn it.

    where's that damn mallow kitten picture...

    _J_ on
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    OboroOboro __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    Also I just want to say it's awesome that there's somewhere I can go and shoot the shit about this sort of stuff and not feel completely alienated or embraced but just pretty raw and regular about it. If I try and bring this up with people who make more unusual sex part of their regular lifestyle, I just feel put off by how warmly they take to it. Just the same, being banned from forums or just knowing better than to talk about it in the first place is a bit embarrassing, because it's happened, and I should have the right to talk about it somewhere approximating normal.

    So, this is a good place. It is a nice place with a nice blend, and it is in that respect not unlike a beverage from a Starbuckian establishment.

    Oboro on
    words
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    AbsoluteZeroAbsoluteZero The new film by Quentin Koopantino Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    That is fucked up.

    AbsoluteZero on
    cs6f034fsffl.jpg
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    IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    _J_ wrote: »
    But apparently shortly after dumping me she found another guy to fuck. And then she told me about it...which was AWESOME.

    damn it damn it damn it.

    I know your pain so very well.

    --

    Eh. One thing about having hung out with some of the weirdest (not THE weirdest, but close) people on the internet, generally my one and only concern is "Is everyone enjoying themselves." There's a few things I don't want to talk about, but for the most part, eh.

    Incenjucar on
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    _J__J_ Pedant Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    Oboro wrote: »
    Also I just want to say it's awesome that there's somewhere I can go and shoot the shit about this sort of stuff and not feel completely alienated or embraced but just pretty raw and regular about it. If I try and bring this up with people who make more unusual sex part of their regular lifestyle, I just feel put off by how warmly they take to it. Just the same, being banned from forums or just knowing better than to talk about it in the first place is a bit embarrassing, because it's happened, and I should have the right to talk about it somewhere approximating normal.

    So, this is a good place. It is a nice place with a nice blend, and it is in that respect not unlike a beverage from a Starbuckian establishment.

    Indeed. I made a H/A thread about my situation with the ex when I was all caught up in the shit storm and it was hella helpful. You can say things to PA'ers that you can't say to people in real life.

    Also,
    i-is-not-a-mallow.jpg

    Mallow kitty destroys sadness!

    _J_ on
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    OboroOboro __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    Oro, seriously, my advice? Stick to switches. Subs are usually only a danger if they're psycho, switches aren't likely to become extremists because hey, you'll return the favor, but doms...

    Doms tend to be assholes.

    (No puns)
    I have lots of problems with switches, because it's very hard for me to play switch myself; I need to be really enthralled with the person, and I think it has to be a blue or harvest moon on top of that. Add to this the fact that I have no real anatomy-related sex drive and I derive every bit of sexual pleasure-- which I get very little of even in the best situations, and much more principally what I guess would be termed regular pleasure-- from kinks.

    Buuuut, they tell me it'll be a different story once I'm more comfortable in my skin. We'll see, I guess.

    Oboro on
    words
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    _J__J_ Pedant Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    _J_ wrote: »
    But apparently shortly after dumping me she found another guy to fuck. And then she told me about it...which was AWESOME.

    damn it damn it damn it.

    I know your pain so very well.

    Isn't it great? I don't know what makes people think that we need to share information like that.

    What's great about the story is that she told me that around mid-December of last year and then I stopped talking to her (which seemed like a good idea at the time). And then we didn't talk until she messaged me on VALENTINE'S DAY to see how I was.

    Anyway. Mallow kitty is not a mallow.

    _J_ on
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    OboroOboro __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    Also, I will go on record and say that I regret terribly the shirking of scheduled counseling after my rape experience because I think I've been a very different person sexually since then, and a lot of it is because of "wrong" reasoning.

    I might be in general psychotherapy again though starting soonish (called insurance company today after finding out my father couldn't voluntarily exclude me from his plan without severing me in a way he has refused to, need to call the institute back tomorrow), and I'll hopefully be able to address it at least somewhat.

    Oboro on
    words
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    _J__J_ Pedant Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    Oboro wrote: »
    Also, I will go on record and say that I desperately regret shirking the counseling after my rape experience because I think I've been a very different person sexually since then, and a lot of it is because of "wrong" reasoning.

    I might be in general psychotherapy again though starting soonish (called insurance company today after finding out my father couldn't voluntarily exclude me from his plan without severing me in a way he has refused to, need to call the institute back tomorrow), and I'll hopefully be able to address it at least somewhat.

    Counseling is always always always a good thing after those sorts of experiences. From what I understand it really helped my ex be able to go fuck other guys again.

    Go team.

    _J_ on
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    IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Oro? Find a role-player.

    You have to have a little patience, but given time to psych up, they can play crazy dominant bastard without actually giving you a limp.

    Hell, I generally act submissive, but I also have a wall in my apartment specifically for pinning a horny girl against with my hips, with her feet off the ground, 'cause that's the role the lady likes.

    --

    _J_: You haven't twitched until you've heard a girl tell you about rape or battery while telling you to not hunt the guy down and kill him because "Oh he didn't mean to."

    Incenjucar on
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    _J__J_ Pedant Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    _J_: You haven't twitched until you've heard a girl tell you about rape or battery while telling you to not hunt the guy down and kill him because "Oh he didn't mean to."

    I didn't get the "he didn't mean to" story, but my friends and I were told about what happened and then she told us not to seek him out and destroy him.

    ...

    What the hell does "he didn't mean to" mean? Did he trip?

    _J_ on
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    OboroOboro __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    _J_ wrote: »
    Oboro wrote: »
    Also, I will go on record and say that I desperately regret shirking the counseling after my rape experience because I think I've been a very different person sexually since then, and a lot of it is because of "wrong" reasoning.

    I might be in general psychotherapy again though starting soonish (called insurance company today after finding out my father couldn't voluntarily exclude me from his plan without severing me in a way he has refused to, need to call the institute back tomorrow), and I'll hopefully be able to address it at least somewhat.

    Counseling is always always always a good thing after those sorts of experiences. From what I understand it really helped my ex be able to go fuck other guys again.

    Go team.
    Drugged and physically ailing and damaged, I stumbled out of his apartment at 5AM or so. It was a February morning, and I was wearing pajamas; I didn't own a coat, but I had a scarf, which I wrapped around my ears to stay warm. After vomiting violently on the side of the road, I lapsed into a bit of a dreaming state and just walked towards the sun for a few hours. When I came to my senses, I frantically made phone calls until the battery died.

    I got dozens of answering machines, which I left messages on that were never heard, and of the few people that picked up in the morning, everyone was more concerned with going back to sleep than actually talking to me or seeing me.

    I spent every dollar I had to get a taxi as close to my best friend Amanda's house, but she had already left to go garage sale hopping. I walked to the nearest warm and safe house-- my grandmother's-- and bit my tongue there.

    I bit my tongue for the next week and a half, completely unable to express in any way the incredibly broad and intense swath of negative emotions stewing in me because the only people on hand were family members whose tense support of me hinged on my not doing things like this.

    When I finally saw someone I could talk openly with, I didn't want to or need to. I was completely desensitized. I skipped the counseling I scheduled a few days later in New York City, and never looked back.

    But now, I am looking back, and it's a fairly clear-cut departure since then in my sex life and many other habits and I'm worried I did a very bad thing.

    tl;dr-- the most traumatizing part, I think, was being completely silent for it for a week and a half afterwards save an impersonal thread or two on other forums under the guise of alts, just about medical issues.

    EDIT t Incenj-- I'll try and find someone like that, but the last girl I was with who roleplayed with me later said she absolutely hated it and wished I would just be dominant instead of asking her to play it even once in a while. ;/

    Also re: what you said to _J_, I'm one of those girls! Whoo!

    Oboro on
    words
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    IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    _J_ wrote: »
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    _J_: You haven't twitched until you've heard a girl tell you about rape or battery while telling you to not hunt the guy down and kill him because "Oh he didn't mean to."

    I didn't get the "he didn't mean to" story, but my friends and I were told about what happened and then she told us not to seek him out and destroy him.

    ...

    What the hell does "he didn't mean to" mean? Did he trip?

    People like to excuse rage, especially when they come from abusive backgrounds, blaming it on themselves.

    --

    Actually, fucked her in her sleep.

    Yeah.

    Incenjucar on
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    OboroOboro __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    Anyway, it's late now, and I need to go to bed before I get emotional because I had an episode last night and I am so goddamn sleep-deprived after a chain of the goddamn things.

    I can't think of anything particularly thoughtful to say.

    Goodnight [chat].

    Oboro on
    words
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    HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Man, I came back at exactly the right time.

    Hacksaw on
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    _J__J_ Pedant Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    _J_ wrote: »
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    _J_: You haven't twitched until you've heard a girl tell you about rape or battery while telling you to not hunt the guy down and kill him because "Oh he didn't mean to."

    I didn't get the "he didn't mean to" story, but my friends and I were told about what happened and then she told us not to seek him out and destroy him.

    ...

    What the hell does "he didn't mean to" mean? Did he trip?

    People like to excuse rage, especially when they come from abusive backgrounds, blaming it on themselves.

    --

    Actually, fucked her in her sleep.

    Yeah.

    That's what the situation was with my ex. She woke up and he was having sex with her. When she told me all I wanted was to be there for her and help her.

    I don't know. Gigantic confusing mess.

    Oboro: Seek out counseling and find someone to whom you can speak about this. Usually one of the big parts is talking about it, at least in my understanding.

    _J_ on
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    _J__J_ Pedant Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    Oboro wrote: »
    Anyway, it's late now, and I need to go to bed before I get emotional because I had an episode last night and I am so goddamn sleep-deprived after a chain of the goddamn things.

    I can't think of anything particularly thoughtful to say.

    Goodnight [chat].

    Night.

    I, too, shall go to bed so i can wake up and go to work. YEY WORK.

    Go team.

    _J_ on
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    IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Sleep sounds good. Tah kiddies.

    Incenjucar on
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    VariableVariable Mouth Congress Stroke Me Lady FameRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    wow I get here just at the tail end. what a shame.

    Variable on
    BNet-Vari#1998 | Switch-SW 6960 6688 8388 | Steam | Twitch
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    AbsoluteZeroAbsoluteZero The new film by Quentin Koopantino Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Destroying people, even if they are rapists, isn't always the best route.

    For instance, I am going to be a groomsman for a guy who raped my girlfriend. I am completely fine with that. There was a time when I was ready to tear off of his limbs and stuff them each directly up his asshole, but I'm glad I didn't. Things are much better the way they are now.

    AbsoluteZero on
    cs6f034fsffl.jpg
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    HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Variable wrote: »
    wow I get here just at the tail end. what a shame.
    I dunno, man. Stories about asses, and the insertion of fists thereof strikes me as a bit off.

    Hacksaw on
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    HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Destroying people, even if they are rapists, isn't always the best route.

    For instance, I am going to be a groomsman for a guy who raped my girlfriend. I am completely fine with that. There was a time when I was ready to tear off of his limbs and stuff them each directly up his asshole, but I'm glad I didn't. Things are much better the way they are now.
    I, for one, would love to hear the story behind this one.

    Hacksaw on
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    MrMisterMrMister Jesus dying on the cross in pain? Morally better than us. One has to go "all in".Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I'm worry that PA can't give the sort of qualified psychological counseling that Oboro needs, and that telling brutal rape stories here is like going to H/A for serious medical advice.

    Oboro needs a real doctor.

    MrMister on
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    HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    MrMister wrote: »
    I'm worry that PA can't give the sort of qualified psychological counseling that Oboro needs, and that telling brutal rape stories here is like going to H/A for serious medical advice.

    Oboro needs a real doctor.
    Well we could always exchange PMs, I guess.

    Hacksaw on
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    VariableVariable Mouth Congress Stroke Me Lady FameRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    she seemed interested in getting that help. it's not always that easy.

    and talking to people, good people anyway, never hurts.

    Variable on
    BNet-Vari#1998 | Switch-SW 6960 6688 8388 | Steam | Twitch
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    AbsoluteZeroAbsoluteZero The new film by Quentin Koopantino Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I won't go into detail because despite the whole anonymity of the internet I still feel like telling the story would be somehow wrong... but anyways it basically dealt with the realization that not only did my girlfriend need help in dealing with what had happened to her, but the guy who did it needed help too. They were both minors at the time, so I reported it to the school counselors who in turn were legally obligated to report it to social services. I also reported it to social services myself.

    The end result was not only did my girlfriend get psychiatric help, so did the guy, and their families got counseling too.

    I was friends with this guy when I found out from my girlfriend what had happened. Now I'm friends with him again. She forgave him, and so did I. He's actually turned out to be a lot better person than anyone ever expected, and he's getting married soon. He asked me to be a groomsman, and I accepted.

    AbsoluteZero on
    cs6f034fsffl.jpg
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    MrMisterMrMister Jesus dying on the cross in pain? Morally better than us. One has to go "all in".Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Variable wrote: »
    she seemed interested in getting that help. it's not always that easy.

    and talking to people, good people anyway, never hurts.

    It can hurt you if it gives you the illusion of have taken all the action you need. Just like homeopathy doesn't hurt, per se, but it's not going to do jack shit to cure your cancer, and it can distract from real treatments.

    Furthermore, I don't think that people on PA are good people in the requisite sense here. Is D&D collectively mature, patient, and knowledgeable to offer the proper support in this situation? I don't really think so. Especially given that it only takes one person posting 'abloo abloo abloo' to seriously upset someone who's already vulnerable and in need. I don't think that we are so sensitive as to rule that out.

    Of course this is not an ideal world, and counseling isn't free, and trusted friends to talk to don't grow on trees. Perhaps PA really is the best place to vent, especially with the anonymity acting as a certain sort of shield. I have strong reservations, however.

    MrMister on
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    MrMisterMrMister Jesus dying on the cross in pain? Morally better than us. One has to go "all in".Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    He asked me to be a groomsman, and I accepted.

    It sounds like everyone did the right things in a bad situation. That's definitely something worthy of respect.

    MrMister on
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    VariableVariable Mouth Congress Stroke Me Lady FameRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    MrMister wrote: »
    Variable wrote: »
    she seemed interested in getting that help. it's not always that easy.

    and talking to people, good people anyway, never hurts.

    It can hurt you if it gives you the illusion of have taken all the action you need. Just like homeopathy doesn't hurt, per se, but it's not going to do jack shit to cure your cancer, and it can distract from real treatments.

    Furthermore, I don't think that people on PA are good people in the requisite sense here. Is D&D collectively mature, patient, and knowledgeable to offer the proper support in this situation? I don't really think so. Especially given that it only takes one person posting 'abloo abloo abloo' to seriously upset someone who's already vulnerable and in need. I don't think that we are so sensitive as to rule that out.

    Of course this is not an ideal world, and counseling isn't free, and trusted friends to talk to don't grow on trees. Perhaps PA really is the best place to vent, especially with the anonymity acting as a certain sort of shield. I have strong reservations, however.

    your point is definitely taken, and I would hope she doesn't think she's taken care of everything she needs to.

    if obo herself hadn't mentioned seeking help (which I think she mentioned, anyway) I wouldn't be so sure.

    but it is true that is is very unlikely some jerkoff is going to come in here and ban her or get really offensive, not just abloo abloo offensive.

    so, again, point taken, and I can see where these things could be a problem, I just think in this case things are probably okay.

    probably. hopefully.

    Variable on
    BNet-Vari#1998 | Switch-SW 6960 6688 8388 | Steam | Twitch
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    DevoutlyApatheticDevoutlyApathetic Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I totally want to say "abloo, abloo, abloo" to MrMister but I really think he has a point.

    It looks like it worked out alright in this case (so far, the further/real treatment idea is important) but the chance of a random asshole walking in and being funny or just an asshole is fairly high.

    It's odd because in the situation I'd have no problem with people saying things like that and giving what help or comfort I can but it's something I would never do.

    DevoutlyApathetic on
    Nod. Get treat. PSN: Quippish
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    MorninglordMorninglord I'm tired of being Batman, so today I'll be Owl.Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    I think if random asshole did do that the word -BANNED- in their title when Oboro came to read it after sleeping would be a soothing balm.
    If the post didn't get outright deleted.

    Morninglord on
    (PSN: Morninglord) (Steam: Morninglord) (WiiU: Morninglord22) I like to record and toss up a lot of random gaming videos here.
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    JamesJames Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Bonjour!

    James on
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    JamesJames Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Okay you guys are boring tonight, goodbye.

    James on
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    clownfoodclownfood packet pusher in the wallsRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Why does a BMW dealer have to live down the street from me. I just had a 2007 M5 blow past me on the street. It was doubly impressive because I was doing 60 on the city street in the first place.

    Why must my dream car be so hard to obtain!!??

    WHY!!!

    clownfood on
    photo-4798.jpg?_r=1355437546
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    HaphazardHaphazard Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Sure they're boring, but now I'm here!

    Morning.

    Haphazard on
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    JamesJames Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Hey Hap. I just realized I didn't have anything else to do tonight.

    Probably going to watch a movie and go to bed within the next half hour.

    James on
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    GimGim a tall glass of water Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Have we...have we stopped talking about fisting?

    Gim on
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    JamesJames Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Gim wrote: »
    Have we...have we stopped talking about fisting?

    Do you want to talk about fisting? :winky:

    James on
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