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\\ ancient crust seeks comic crits //

earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
Hey! I haven't made art post in quite some time, but I still like to pop in every now and then to see what's up. I'm about to xerox a low bugdet zine/comic thing of all the cartoons I've made over the past 2 years. These aren't all of them, but these are the ones that I think would benefit from another set of eyes before I actually print and staple up these bad boys. If you follow my Insta you may have seen some of these. I know the forum isn't super active for crits like it used to be, but I thought I'd give it a shot anyway. I'll also post over in the writing forum and see if I can pull anyone over to take a look at the writing, spelling, punctuation ect. Also I think I made these images kinda small, so... sorry.

This first one I don't think is particularly great, as it breaks the cardinal (lol) rule of not using violence as the punchline but O well. It originally was just the first 3 panels, and I added the next three panels after thinking maybe I could salvage it. Now I'm not sure all the panels are necessary. For example you could loose panels 2, 4, 5 and it still might work? I don't know, I'm not sure if the flow would still work but I was considering dropping panels 2 and 5. Thoughts?

rj3mlvch5qa1.jpg

This one I was thinking could prob loose the text in the 3rd panel all together and still work. But I thought the text was kinda funny, so pretty torn on this one.

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This page is two unrelated food jokes on one page

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This one, I'm convinced is not very funny but it's just about me and my spider buds minding each others respective beeswaxes.

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This one has a lot of text in the last panel and I'm not sure if it could be worded better.

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I'd prob have my mom word proof all of these, because she's good at that, but I dont want her to know that I want to die and be buried in a Jubilee Roll.

v5irjdll9ylw.jpg

These are two separate comics stuck side by side because they both were video gamey...

oow1ge1r9cqd.jpg

This one, I'm not sure the 3rd panel with the "ya" reply is totally necessary, but I'm not sure it hits the same beats without it...

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This one uses a bunch of internet shorthand, so proofreading prob unnecessary.

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I don't feel like I made any mistakes with this text because it's so basic, but just in case.

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This one is prob only funny to me, but also prob nobody watches old Clint Eastwood movies and thinks, BUT WHAT IF THEY WERE WHALES

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And then this one has a bunch of text so, any thoughts about if something could be worded better would be helpful!

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Thanks!! : )

DarkMechaacadia

Posts

  • DoodmannDoodmann Registered User regular
    The Outlaw Josey Whales is amazing.

    Whippy wrote: »
    nope nope nope nope abort abort talk about anime
    Torchlight | Steam | ART
  • CristovalCristoval Registered User regular
    Quite a few of these made me chuckle, and some didn't but that's all subjective. I like where your head is at! The "Ready to work" one hits too close to home really.

  • earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    Doodmann wrote: »
    The Outlaw Josey Whales is amazing.

    Aw thanks. PPL seem to like this one which amuses me because I assumed that it was the most esoteric one that would be lost to most.
    Cristoval wrote: »
    Quite a few of these made me chuckle, and some didn't but that's all subjective. I like where your head is at! The "Ready to work" one hits too close to home really.

    Hey thank! I guess some of em are supposed to be funny and some of them are more life journalISH in comic form. For the "ready 2 work" one, when I want to be productive and depression hits it feels like a tidal wave/earthquake/rainstorm/mudslide/all the disasters at once scenario, so I was kinda going for that effect. : )

  • DoodmannDoodmann Registered User regular
    Animal puns are the lifeblood of the internet.

    Whippy wrote: »
    nope nope nope nope abort abort talk about anime
    Torchlight | Steam | ART
    earthwormadam
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