Penny Arcade - Comic - Methadone

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Penny Arcade - Comic - Methadone

Videogaming-related online strip by Mike Krahulik and Jerry Holkins. Includes news and commentary.

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zeromh

Mmm... I'm gonna need somebody to explain the punchline here. Halp?

dennis

zeromh wrote: »

Mmm... I'm gonna need somebody to explain the punchline here. Halp?

Gear in The Division is just regular clothes. So "methadone" (the therapeutic replacement drug for heroin) for The Division is to shop for regular clothes.

Realism is not something Gabriel finds interesting basically at all. He has no relationship of any kind to any of his guns in The Division, and he legitimately resents being made to learn muggle clothing terms like “slouchy beanie” or “trendy shemagh.” You’re not gonna get a Young Ahamkara’s Spine, with its hints of a metaphysical payload, from any loot in The Division. So you can’t really manipulate him the way you could in another game with “new art” which is what keeps him going in games. He likes playing it. He does! But the gear and presentation aren’t mythic, they’re “realistic.” There’s no aspirational firearm that takes up forty percent of the screen real estate to seek and claim. By making it realistic, at least for him, they’ve made it more abstract.

Lorek

zeromh wrote: »

Mmm... I'm gonna need somebody to explain the punchline here. Halp?

I haven't played Division 2, but I think it's a joke about how the loot in that game is basically just different kinds of clothes from Old Navy?
Since the game is based on "real world", so there's no magic swords or golden full plate armor... you just have better stat versions of jeans and hats and jackets and such.
So Tycho feels better about not playing the Division 2 by just basically getting "new loot" by buying it in the clothing store.

Enlong

Oh. I thought he was helping him shop for clothes that would be good for his grave-digging trip.

zeromh

Ah, very helpful - I wouldn't have gotten that. Thanks Dennis and Lorek!

Tofystedeth

Lorek wrote: »

zeromh wrote: »

Mmm... I'm gonna need somebody to explain the punchline here. Halp?

I haven't played Division 2, but I think it's a joke about how the loot in that game is basically just different kinds of clothes from Old Navy?
Since the game is based on "real world", so there's no magic swords or golden full plate armor... you just have better stat versions of jeans and hats and jackets and such.
So Tycho feels better about not playing the Division 2 by just basically getting "new loot" by buying it in the clothing store.

[pedant]
jeans and hats and whatnot are cosmetic items with no stats.
body armor, kneepads, holsters, etc are the actual gear.
[/pedant]

Prowlingmonkey

I thought they were against LARPing

Steel Angel

Tofystedeth wrote: »

Lorek wrote: »

zeromh wrote: »

Mmm... I'm gonna need somebody to explain the punchline here. Halp?

I haven't played Division 2, but I think it's a joke about how the loot in that game is basically just different kinds of clothes from Old Navy?
Since the game is based on "real world", so there's no magic swords or golden full plate armor... you just have better stat versions of jeans and hats and jackets and such.
So Tycho feels better about not playing the Division 2 by just basically getting "new loot" by buying it in the clothing store.

[pedant]
jeans and hats and whatnot are cosmetic items with no stats.
body armor, kneepads, holsters, etc are the actual gear.
[/pedant]

He does have a new backpack on. But cosmetics are the inevitable end game of any MMO with appearance options anyway.

MarcinMN

Maybe clothes shopping would be more interesting if the tags had various stats with green and red arrows next to them.

Hahnsoo1

MarcinMN wrote: »

Maybe clothes shopping would be more interesting if the tags had various stats with green and red arrows next to them.

The problem with fashion is that there are constant "balance" patches, and your clothes keep getting nerfed with each subsequent patch.

jwalk

somehow "grinding mobs" for 80 hours in order to upgrade my "holster" isn't real compelling.

Tofystedeth

Hahnsoo1 wrote: »

MarcinMN wrote: »

Maybe clothes shopping would be more interesting if the tags had various stats with green and red arrows next to them.

The problem with fashion is that there are constant "balance" patches, and your clothes keep getting nerfed with each subsequent patch.

Yeah but if you hang on to clothes long enough they might come back into the meta.

OctoberRaven

Fun fact: "Go shopping at Old Navy" is one of the troubleshooting steps Origin gave me when I couldn't get a game to work.

When I reported no changes, they closed the ticket without further help.

MarcinMN

jwalk wrote: »

somehow "grinding mobs" for 80 hours in order to upgrade my "holster" isn't real compelling.

Would it help if the holster was constantly on fire?

Golden Yak

Further adventures in 'this shit:'

Enlong

I still love the bottom half of that first panel.

T-Danger

It's kinda telling about how uninspired The Division games are that the only joke they can come up about it is "Boy, the loot in this game is just regular clothes. Weird huh?"

Preacher

Well they aren't political "no poli" so its either that or how little story there is in div 2. "Man I didn't realize the summary of the game was literally all the story"

baudattitude

It is pretty funny how so many super bro-esque shooting mans games have so much fashion and customization in them. Like, I just started Ghost Recon: Wildlands, and I had 46 choices for shirts, most of which could be further customized with multiple color choices.

"46" isn't just a randomly chosen large number. There were literally 46 different shirts to choose from. I didn't check how many pant options there were, or hats or shoes or any of the other clothing slots. It took me over an hour to get the perfect outfit. In real life, it takes me like 30 seconds to open my closet and grab a pair of slacks and a dress shirt, maybe a polo if it's a warm day.

Tofystedeth

Preacher wrote: »

Well they aren't political "no poli" so its either that or how little story there is in div 2. "Man I didn't realize the summary of the game was literally all the story"

Yeah the first one at least has a little bit of story, but the second is barely anything but a premise. There's actually a surprising amount of "lore" type stuff attached to collectibles ( most of which i understand is basically just examples of the different different factions and bosses being awful so you don't feel ambivalent about needing to shoot them), but also some weird semi hidden side stuff.

But yeah, no real story, just loot shooting.

cB557

MarcinMN wrote: »

Maybe clothes shopping would be more interesting if the tags had various stats with green and red arrows next to them.

This shirt is two sizes too small, but it's higher rarity than any of the clothes that fit me so I think I'll keep it for now.

Steel Angel

Tofystedeth wrote: »

Preacher wrote: »

Well they aren't political "no poli" so its either that or how little story there is in div 2. "Man I didn't realize the summary of the game was literally all the story"

Yeah the first one at least has a little bit of story, but the second is barely anything but a premise. There's actually a surprising amount of "lore" type stuff attached to collectibles ( most of which i understand is basically just examples of the different different factions and bosses being awful so you don't feel ambivalent about needing to shoot them), but also some weird semi hidden side stuff.

But yeah, no real story, just loot shooting.

The first one had story in it that ultimately never went anywhere. I don't they've figured out how to do real stories while still leaving room for sequels.