[Bad News Gone Right]: 40% chance of "where's the gone right?".

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  • FoefallerFoefaller Registered User regular
    edited January 12
    That reminds me of when I got someone's "How could you do this to me?" breakup texts.

    Followed about a month later with "I'm happy now with someone else and FUCK YOU!" texts.

    I don't remember the exact words of the second one (decade ago with an old phone), but I do remember that the general gist of them, as well as the late hours they came up on my phone lead to the impression that they were sent after having some excellent sex with their new partner.

    Foefaller on
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  • chromdomchromdom Why do bad things keep happening to me? Oh yeah, because of the things I've done.Registered User regular
    Totp gone right

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  • CalicaCalica Registered User regular
    I once got a bunch of texts from someone absolutely convinced I was her cheating partner. I wound up calling her just to clear that up. (She answered with, "You gonna lie again?") She was deeply apologetic; I was mostly bemused.

    I'm sure "Nick" is a piece of work, but I'd hate for him to get in trouble for something he didn't do :razz:

    Jedoc wrote: »
    The GOP cares about babies until they're born, soldiers until they're in need of care, and families until they interfere with stockholder dividends.
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  • I ZimbraI Zimbra Registered User regular
    Bad News: Bushfires devastating Australia.
    Good News: People are coming up with creative ways to raise money for recovery.
    Bad News: Uhhhhhhhhh (NSFW)
    Why did they have to put the Koala on it?

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  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Vultures do as vultures do, disrupting Border Patrol operations:
    A US Customs and Border Protection (CBP) radio tower near the Texas-Mexico border has become home to some 300 vultures, which have coated the structure’s entire surface, both inside and out, as well as the ground below, in “droppings mixed with urine,” according to a request for information the agency issued to vendors this week.

    A smoothly-functioning communications network is essential for CBP officers to do their jobs. The agencies under the aegis of the Department of Homeland Security, of which CBP is one, have suffered from radio problems in the past.

    That is a rather...hard-core way to take NWA to heart.

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  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    I Zimbra wrote: »
    Bad News: Bushfires devastating Australia.
    Good News: People are coming up with creative ways to raise money for recovery.
    Bad News: Uhhhhhhhhh (NSFW)
    Why did they have to put the Koala on it?
    I feel like a kangaroo might already be the logo for a sex toy, and a platypus might just be too confusing.

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
    Ringo
  • WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    I Zimbra wrote: »
    Bad News: Bushfires devastating Australia.
    Good News: People are coming up with creative ways to raise money for recovery.
    Bad News: Uhhhhhhhhh (NSFW)
    Why did they have to put the Koala on it?

    Missed the best part. It costs 69$

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  • L Ron HowardL Ron Howard Registered User regular
    I Zimbra wrote: »
    Bad News: Bushfires devastating Australia.
    Good News: People are coming up with creative ways to raise money for recovery.
    Bad News: Uhhhhhhhhh (NSFW)
    Why did they have to put the Koala on it?

    Missed the best part. It costs 69$

    Nice

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  • I ZimbraI Zimbra Registered User regular
    Vultures do as vultures do, disrupting Border Patrol operations:
    A US Customs and Border Protection (CBP) radio tower near the Texas-Mexico border has become home to some 300 vultures, which have coated the structure’s entire surface, both inside and out, as well as the ground below, in “droppings mixed with urine,” according to a request for information the agency issued to vendors this week.

    A smoothly-functioning communications network is essential for CBP officers to do their jobs. The agencies under the aegis of the Department of Homeland Security, of which CBP is one, have suffered from radio problems in the past.

    That is a rather...hard-core way to take NWA to heart.

    This is praxis.
    see317 wrote: »
    I Zimbra wrote: »
    Bad News: Bushfires devastating Australia.
    Good News: People are coming up with creative ways to raise money for recovery.
    Bad News: Uhhhhhhhhh (NSFW)
    Why did they have to put the Koala on it?
    I feel like a kangaroo might already be the logo for a sex toy, and a platypus might just be too confusing.
    I mean, you always have the option to not emboss an animal on your dildo, right?

  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    I Zimbra wrote: »
    Vultures do as vultures do, disrupting Border Patrol operations:
    A US Customs and Border Protection (CBP) radio tower near the Texas-Mexico border has become home to some 300 vultures, which have coated the structure’s entire surface, both inside and out, as well as the ground below, in “droppings mixed with urine,” according to a request for information the agency issued to vendors this week.

    A smoothly-functioning communications network is essential for CBP officers to do their jobs. The agencies under the aegis of the Department of Homeland Security, of which CBP is one, have suffered from radio problems in the past.

    That is a rather...hard-core way to take NWA to heart.

    This is praxis.
    see317 wrote: »
    I Zimbra wrote: »
    Bad News: Bushfires devastating Australia.
    Good News: People are coming up with creative ways to raise money for recovery.
    Bad News: Uhhhhhhhhh (NSFW)
    Why did they have to put the Koala on it?
    I feel like a kangaroo might already be the logo for a sex toy, and a platypus might just be too confusing.
    I mean, you always have the option to not emboss an animal on your dildo, right?

    You know, I'm sure you could go that route, but the question is "why would you want to?".

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
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  • ShadowfireShadowfire Vermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered User regular
    I Zimbra wrote: »
    Bad News: Bushfires devastating Australia.
    Good News: People are coming up with creative ways to raise money for recovery.
    Bad News: Uhhhhhhhhh (NSFW)
    Why did they have to put the Koala on it?

    Use with caution to avoid starting another bush fire.

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  • CalicaCalica Registered User regular
    Shadowfire wrote: »
    I Zimbra wrote: »
    Bad News: Bushfires devastating Australia.
    Good News: People are coming up with creative ways to raise money for recovery.
    Bad News: Uhhhhhhhhh (NSFW)
    Why did they have to put the Koala on it?

    Use with caution to avoid starting another bush fire.

    That's what lube is for.

    Jedoc wrote: »
    The GOP cares about babies until they're born, soldiers until they're in need of care, and families until they interfere with stockholder dividends.
  • XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    sixty nine dollariedoos!?

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  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    Pounded in the Butt by Australia's Dildo
    by Chuck Tingle

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  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    Ayers Cock

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  • HefflingHeffling No Pic EverRegistered User regular
    Foefaller wrote: »
    That reminds me of when I got someone's "How could you do this to me?" breakup texts.

    Followed about a month later with "I'm happy now with someone else and FUCK YOU!" texts.

    I don't remember the exact words of the second one (decade ago with an old phone), but I do remember that the general gist of them, as well as the late hours they came up on my phone lead to the impression that they were sent after having some excellent sex with their new partner.

    This reminds me of while playing Everquest, I send a friend of mine a friendly "hello" tell and received several very explicit replies.

    Because using /reply for your cyber is a bad idea.

    If a movement doesn't have someone that can sit down opposite those in a position of power and strike a deal, how can that movement achieve success?
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  • VishNubVishNub Registered User regular
    Bad News: After 20 years of hoping medicine might be able to repair it, man has arm amputated.
    Good News: He kept it, had it taxidermied, and mounted.

    https://www.newsweek.com/amputated-arm-preserved-taxidermist-1479889

    The best parts are 1) He did what's called a European Mount, which means basically just the bones are mounted. 2) In order to do that, you have to remove all of the flesh, which was done by using 3) beetles to eat off all the necrotic tissue. Then 4) because the taxidermists didn't know human anatomy they had to call a doctor to put it back together. And last, but best of all, 5) "He told the station he plans to keep the arm behind his kitchen sink."

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  • SkeithSkeith Registered User regular
    VishNub wrote: »
    Bad News: After 20 years of hoping medicine might be able to repair it, man has arm amputated.
    Good News: He kept it, had it taxidermied, and mounted.

    https://www.newsweek.com/amputated-arm-preserved-taxidermist-1479889

    The best parts are 1) He did what's called a European Mount, which means basically just the bones are mounted. 2) In order to do that, you have to remove all of the flesh, which was done by using 3) beetles to eat off all the necrotic tissue. Then 4) because the taxidermists didn't know human anatomy they had to call a doctor to put it back together. And last, but best of all, 5) "He told the station he plans to keep the arm behind his kitchen sink."

    I thought the best part was about the woman who had something done with her leg:
    Newsweek wrote:
    She had the limb skeletonized in a similar fashion to Holmgren's arm and now travels the world with it, documenting its journey on her Instagram page.

    mts wrote: »
    heres how i see it being a total win situation for you
    1. stay with your wife while she dog sits. this wins husband points since she knows its out of your comfort zone
    2. have sex all over her friends house so that the next time you see her friend look at you condescendingly, you can wink back knowing you did the freaky deaky where she eats her cheerios.
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  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    edited January 13
    Burglar gets tired, calls 911:
    Cartersville Police say 911 got a call from a man saying he was trapped and needed help but he wasn't sure where he was. Investigators pinged the phone and it led them to Salgado Tires on North Tennessee Street.

    Police responded and found 30-year-old Nathaniel King on the floor underneath some tires. He was trapped. Police managed to free him.

    A friend of the owner of Salgado Tires says King didn't appear to be hurt, but he was extremely upset.

    "The guy was crying, he was sitting there saying 'my wife is waiting for me, I want to go home'," said the friend.

    AngelHedgie on
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  • NitsuaNitsua Gloucester, VARegistered User regular
    Must be time for him to retire from his life of crime.

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  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    Nitsua wrote: »
    Must be time for him to retire from his life of crime.

    Exactly, a chance for him to tread a new path in life.

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  • AridholAridhol Daddliest Catch Registered User regular
    He's not a very good rubber

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  • GiantGeek2020GiantGeek2020 Registered User regular
    Aridhol wrote: »
    He's not a very good rubber

    His life was just going in circles before this.

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  • ShadowfireShadowfire Vermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered User regular
    Aridhol wrote: »
    He's not a very good rubber

    His life was just going in circles before this.

    He really needs to align with his needs and find a better work-life balance.

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  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    It's not been a good year for him so far

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  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    McDonald's advertising department in Japan continues to not think marketing through:


    There is an innocuous commercial and everything! But all that innocent creamy goodness is undermined by poor word choice.

    McDonald’s is calling this tasty treat the “Otona no Kuriimu Pai” (大人のクリームパイ), which means an “adult cream pie” and inadvertently evokes the sexual slang. This was certainly not the fast-food chain’s intent. I hope.

    Otona no (literally, “adult’s”) can have a neutral meaning of something that is for grown-ups or something with sexualized connotations. So someone should’ve known?

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  • furlionfurlion Riskbreaker Lea MondeRegistered User regular
    Secret sauce indeed.

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  • Gabriel_PittGabriel_Pitt (effective against the Irish) Registered User regular
    edited January 14
    McDonald's advertising department in Japan continues to not think marketing through:
    No, it's just some clickbait jackass generating views, cause a cream pie is... exactly what it says on the tin. The sex act is a completely different word.

    It's like someone in Japan going 'lolol! Man, did Adidas mess up! Did you hear they that in the U.S. they released a chinstrap!'

    Gabriel_Pitt on
  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Kansas Man requests the most weaboo response to divorce proceedings:
    A Kansas man has asked an Iowa judge to let him engage in a sword fight with his ex-wife and her attorney in a trial by combat that will settle their ongoing legal dispute.

    David Ostrom, 40, of Paola, Kansas, said in a 3 January court filing that his former wife, Bridgette Ostrom, 38, of Harlan, Iowa, and her attorney, Matthew Hudson, had “destroyed (him) legally”.

    The judge had the power to let the parties “resolve our disputes on the field of battle, legally,” David Ostrom said, adding in his filing that trial by combat “has never been explicitly banned or restricted as a right in these United States”.

    He also asked the judge for 12 weeks’ time so he could secure Japanese samurai swords.

    Can't make this shit up, folks.

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  • GONG-00GONG-00 Registered User regular
    The Legal Principle of Air Bud, there is no rule that explicitly says dogs can't play basketball.

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  • OrcaOrca Registered User regular
    Good grief, I can't imagine being married to someone who thinks that's a good idea.

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  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Neither could she, by the end

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  • The WolfmanThe Wolfman Registered User regular
    Y'know, if both parties completely consented to it... I'd freakin' let them. Not with swords, obviously. More like stiff foam bats or something. And completely supervised. Basically in some way where nobody can possibly get seriously hurt. I guess it'd be more akin to a sport with points and a ref than an out and out fight to the death. Otherwise yeah, if you two idiots actually agree to it, go for it.

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  • BlackDragon480BlackDragon480 Bluster Kerfuffle Master of Windy ImportRegistered User regular
    edited January 15
    12 weeks to secure steel, is he having a full daisho of tamahagane made in Japan?!

    I know of a least half a dozen swordsmiths in the US that do good work with a real edge and you'd be talking 4-5 weeks lead time, tops.

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  • VishNubVishNub Registered User regular
    Trial by combat is the only logical conclusion of legal self representation.

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  • EchoEcho Moderator mod
    If he's challenging, she should clearly be the one to choose the weapons.

    Echo wrote: »
    Let they who have not posted about their balls in the wrong thread cast the first stone.
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  • EncEnc A Fool with Compassion The Land of Flowers (and Dragons)Registered User regular
    Burglar gets tired, calls 911:
    Cartersville Police say 911 got a call from a man saying he was trapped and needed help but he wasn't sure where he was. Investigators pinged the phone and it led them to Salgado Tires on North Tennessee Street.

    Police responded and found 30-year-old Nathaniel King on the floor underneath some tires. He was trapped. Police managed to free him.

    A friend of the owner of Salgado Tires says King didn't appear to be hurt, but he was extremely upset.

    "The guy was crying, he was sitting there saying 'my wife is waiting for me, I want to go home'," said the friend.

    Looping back here, @AngelHedgie 's original pun of "Burglar gets Tired" is so on point. Give the man some hearts!

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  • GONG-00GONG-00 Registered User regular
    Echo wrote: »
    If he's challenging, she should clearly be the one to choose the weapons.

    He chose the implement. She can choose the location of the duel.

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  • ForarForar #432 Toronto, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    Enc wrote: »
    Looping back here, AngelHedgie 's original pun of "Burglar gets Tired" is so on point. Give the man some hearts!

    At ~160,000 combined post reactions to date, I don't think Hedgie needs much help accruing forum points.

    (nor do I imagine they care, or that anyone should, but since the matter is being explicitly noted...)

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  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    12 weeks to secure steel, is he having a full daisho of tamahagane made in Japan?!

    I know of a least half a dozen swordsmiths in the US that do good work with a real edge and you'd be talking 4-5 weeks lead time, tops.

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