[Bad News Gone Right]: 40% chance of "where's the gone right?".

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  • klemmingklemming Registered User regular
    This thread is descending into a game of silly burgers.

    Nobody remembers the singer. The song remains.
    ElvenshaeRhesus PositiveGiantGeek2020SorceJebus314
  • Phoenix-DPhoenix-D Registered User regular
    klemming wrote: »
    This thread is descending into a game of silly burgers.

    You win or you fry?

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  • AridholAridhol Daddliest Catch Registered User regular
    Maybe we should all just moove on.

    ElvenshaeRhesus PositiveGiantGeek2020SorceJebus314
  • TofystedethTofystedeth veni, veneri, vamoosi Registered User regular
    Cud you all just give it a rest?

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  • DevoutlyApatheticDevoutlyApathetic Registered User regular
    Cud you all just give it a rest?

    I'm trying to ketchup on the thread. Could you just say what's your beef now?

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  • GoumindongGoumindong Registered User regular
    edited March 12
    Cud you all just give it a rest?

    Not until we've chewed through the entire batch

    Goumindong on
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  • RichyRichy Registered User regular
    You guys are really going to milk this one for all it's worth, eh.

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  • PolaritiePolaritie Sleepy Registered User regular
    Richy wrote: »
    You guys are really going to milk this one for all it's worth, eh.

    Butter strap in for the long haul.

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  • OrcaOrca Registered User regular
    But it's churning the thread so much. I thought we wanted the cream of the bad news. At least we're not wheyting for things to happen. We're actively casein the joint for bad moos!

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  • RichyRichy Registered User regular
    Polaritie wrote: »
    Richy wrote: »
    You guys are really going to milk this one for all it's worth, eh.

    Butter strap in for the long haul.

    Don't worry, I'm ready to grab the bull by the horns.

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    Hahnsoo1RingoElvenshae
  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    If people don't like puns then does this constitute cyber bullion?

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  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    Madican wrote: »
    If people don't like puns then does this constitute cyber bullion?

    No, that when you make beef stock in Cook, Serve, Delicious!

    "Never believe management about anything anywhere." -Aistan
    Hahnsoo1
  • ForarForar #432 Toronto, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited March 12
    Something something milk something hoof something something leather.

    Edit: glue

    Forar on
    First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
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  • CalicaCalica Registered User regular
    edited March 12
    Forar wrote: »
    Edit: glue

    For some reason, this is where I lost it :lol:

    Calica on
    Jedoc wrote: »
    The GOP cares about babies until they're born, soldiers until they're in need of care, and families until they interfere with stockholder dividends.
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  • FANTOMASFANTOMAS Flan ArgentavisRegistered User regular
    that was some high tier cringe

  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    You picked a fine time to find me, loose wheel:
    The wheel came off a car traveling along Route 1 in South Brunswick, bounced on the divider and smashed through the window of the dump truck which was going the other direction, the South Brunswick Police said in a tweet.

    The driver of the dump truck was not injured as the wheel went into the passenger side of his cab, police said.

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  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular

    History's greatest monster or greatest hero? You decide.

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  • Phoenix-DPhoenix-D Registered User regular
    Bad news: woman collapses at home. The only help are her three children, the oldest being a four-year-old.

    Gone right: Four year old is "OK, fine, whatever, I've got this" calls 911 and manages to relay the situation accurately. Then unlocks the door and herds the family's dogs away from the door so they won't get in the way. There's a soundcloud recording of the 911 call and she's completely calm.

    https://www.cnn.com/2019/12/19/us/4-year-old-girl-calls-911-and-saves-her-mom-trnd/index.html

    Bonus points to the dispatcher for handling it too.

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  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    With more lectures moving online, this will only get more prevalent

    Xaquin
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 18
    The handjobs yes, but they'll be much harder to spot.

    (For clarity, this was a live lecture, but only the presentation screen and mic were recorded).

    tynic on
  • Steel AngelSteel Angel Registered User regular
    With more lectures moving online, this will only get more prevalent

    Followed soon by a new plot setup for porn videos.

    Big Dookie wrote: »
    I found that tilting it doesn't work very well, and once I started jerking it, I got much better results.

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  • ScooterScooter Registered User regular
    With more lectures moving online, this will only get more prevalent

    Followed soon by a new plot setup for porn videos.

    "Well, did you bring enough handjobs for everyone?"

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  • Stabbity StyleStabbity Style Warning: Mothership Reporting Kennewick, WARegistered User regular
    Scooter wrote: »
    With more lectures moving online, this will only get more prevalent

    Followed soon by a new plot setup for porn videos.

    "Well, did you bring enough handjobs for everyone?"

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  • Steel AngelSteel Angel Registered User regular
    edited March 18
    Drop in tourists feeding monkeys leads to brawl between monkey gangs in Thailand
    A video filmed this week in Lopburi, north-east of Bangkok, showed large crowds of monkeys brawling in the streets, apparently fighting over a yoghurt pot. Residents in the city, which is famed for its monkey population, say the fall in tourist numbers means there are far fewer people offering food.

    “It’s the summer, so usually we see a lot of tourists, but now because of the outbreak there’s so few that the markets are very quiet. Not enough tourists come to leave food for the monkeys at Prang Sam Yod [temple],” Sasaluk Rattanachai, who posted a video of the brawl online, told Khaosod English.

    The monkeys are known for marauding the streets and stealing food from residents and unsuspecting tourists. Scraps between the monkeys are not uncommon, but a brawl of this size is rare, prompting one Thai reporter to attempt a vox pop with the local monkeys.

    Each troop has at least 500 members, according to Manad Vimuktipune of the Lopburi Monkey Foundation. They’ll steal anything, he said: “Colourful ornaments, caps, sunglasses.” There are fewer tourists in the city, he added, and there is not enough food being offered.

    Steel Angel on
    Big Dookie wrote: »
    I found that tilting it doesn't work very well, and once I started jerking it, I got much better results.

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  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    This is why you shouldn't feed wild animals

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  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Trevor Noah tries Italian style balcony serenading, gets quintessential New Yorker response:

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  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Article on a coffee spill has the perfect opening:
    The best part of waking up is probably not Folgers on the road.

    According to a post from Marion Fire-EMS, crews responded to the northbound lanes on Interstate 81 on Tuesday afternoon for a crash involving two tractor-trailers.

    When units arrived, they found a strange sight; coffee canisters and their contents strewn across the roadway.

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  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Why I Love My Fucking Home State, Pigs Flying Over Butte Edition:
    We live in unprecedented times, so add this to the record book: There were no arrests in Butte on St. Patrick’s Day.

    So folks, that means no one was caught driving under the influence, no one underage was charged with being a minor in possession, there were no fights that led to arrests, and as for disorderly conducts — zilch on that one, too.

    According to Butte-Silver Bow Undersheriff George Skuletich, residents obeyed the law.

    The lack of arrests is a first for Skuletich, who has been in law enforcement for the past 35 years.

    “It’s the easiest we have had it,” he said.

    Butte - an old school mining town that has a 24 hour bar - is notorious for St. Patrick's Day celebrations that get wild. To have that quiet a day - it shows how serious everything is.

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  • SoggybiscuitSoggybiscuit At the edge of spacetime lies a path with no end.Registered User regular
    Well, one positive thing to come out of all of this chaos:

    Alone no more: People are turning to dogs, cats and chickens to cope with self-isolation
    Working from home and unable to go out, people are bringing home dogs and cats for companionship.

    More people bringing home lonely animals is a really good thing!

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  • ShadowfireShadowfire Vermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered User regular
    Trevor Noah tries Italian style balcony serenading, gets quintessential New Yorker response:


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  • BlackDragon480BlackDragon480 Bluster Kerfuffle Master of Windy ImportRegistered User regular
    Shadowfire wrote: »
    Trevor Noah tries Italian style balcony serenading, gets quintessential New Yorker response:


    *Akeem on balcony*

    First they came for the Muslims and we said...NOT TODAY MOTHERFUCKERS!
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  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    It Came From Twitter: The Problem With Horny Snails:

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  • SorceSorce Registered User regular
    For a second I mis-read the tweeter as Sasha Grey, which made it even funnier.

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    Backloggery. It's totally updated again, I swear!
    Fry
  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Why I Love My Fucking Home State, Yes, We're Sappy Geeks Up Here Edition:
    A pair of Darth Vaders strode up the aisle of the Cascade County District Courthouse in Great Falls Friday to the opening drumbeats of the Imperial March.

    Where the prosecuting attorneys normally sit, twin lightsabers stood on the desk, ready for battle.

    On a television screen that usually displays criminal hearings and trial evidence, Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope played in its full high-definition glory.

    The title couldn’t be more appropriate because the day marked new hope for 12-year-old Alex Reyes, who was finally being adopted after multiple foster homes and a year with Pamela and Philip Reyes.

    And in the jury box, nearly a dozen siblings of all ages waited for Alex to become an official part of their family.

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  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    PROTIP: When the judge tells you that your copyright claim over unicorns is less important than a fucking global pandemic, take them at their word:

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  • FryFry Registered User regular
    edited March 25
    "Nearly a dozen siblings" is causing me some side-eye

    I guess if the kid is genuinely happy though, go them

    Fry on
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  • HefflingHeffling No Pic EverRegistered User regular
    edited March 25
    Matches your avatar.

    Heffling on
    If a movement doesn't have someone that can sit down opposite those in a position of power and strike a deal, how can that movement achieve success?
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  • AimAim Registered User regular
    Fry wrote: »
    "Nearly a dozen siblings" is causing me some side-eye

    I guess if the kid is genuinely happy though, go them

    I know.someone who is the single biological child of someone who started fostering, and ended up adopting. She ended up with something like 11 siblings.

    ElvenshaeFiendishrabbit
  • FiendishrabbitFiendishrabbit Registered User regular
    edited March 25
    Aim wrote: »
    Fry wrote: »
    "Nearly a dozen siblings" is causing me some side-eye

    I guess if the kid is genuinely happy though, go them

    I know.someone who is the single biological child of someone who started fostering, and ended up adopting. She ended up with something like 11 siblings.

    When I was a kid I used to be in a outdoor life youth organization. The chapter leader was this archetypical Green-party woman. Mid-30s, drove a VW-van, dressed like it too (all Fjällräven). She had 2 kids of her own. She had started as a fostermom, but had by that time adopted 5 more for a total of 7 siblings.

    Fiendishrabbit on
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