The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent
vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums
here.
We now return to our regularly scheduled PA Forums. Please let me (Hahnsoo1) know if something isn't working. The Holiday Forum will remain up until January 10, 2025.
Revolutionary Girl [chat]
Posts
But here's the thing. The marginal utility of having 1 close friend over 0, or having 2 close friends over 1, is huge.
The marginal utility of having 20 friends over 19 isn't remotely the same magnitude.
Similarly, consider whether the emotional labor you're doing is actually fostering relationships. Conversations on emotional labor get overly focused on things like Christmas cards; such gestures just keep the door open but you really need to have direct interaction with the people in your life.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
I 100% believe this and imagine it's common but if anyone ever said this to me I'd laugh at them. but I'll grant that there's probably a reason no one has ever said that to me.
Hold on, I'm not expert on gay relationships
According to Insta, I should ask which one of you never opens up about his trauma and which one never shuts up about it? How does the emotional labor divide relate to what I understand to be the "can drive" / "iced coffee" dichotomy?
it should be acceptable to just hand over $20 instead
that's enough to have a salad doordashed or something
Yeah its like buying a sports car and driving the speed limit. With the same chance of the police asking you how your evening is going...
pleasepaypreacher.net
is it an all-edges one?
please say yes
Most of the time all you really need to bring is beverages. Bringing a bottle of wine to a dinner party is pretty common etiquette; or bringing beer to a barbecue. I hate cooking, but I couldn't possibly count the number of times I've attended a potluck and somehow been the only person to remember to bring soda and plastic cups.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
The nicer people in the group take it out of the store bought tin and put it in their own.
I have no qualms with just kind of shrugging and going "sorry not interested I'll see y'all next time." I just have zero energy to invest in dicking around with that. I understand there's plenty of others who will bake cakes and all that but I hate the process and hate dishes so I ain't doing it and I guess sorry if that upsets anyone.
muney
muney muney muney muney muney muney
muney is the root of all evil
I need to get better at maintaining friendships with the people I know who are here since I don't just run into them all the time as much as I'm out doing stuff less often
but me and the knuckleheads from the day are still tight like we've been for twenty years
I'm reasonably certain these friendships will end with death
No. Not a big deal though.
While the edges of my butterscotch brownies are better than the middle pieces, the middle pieces are still god-tier.
I only bake cookies for small groups of friends. not the unwashed masses
my cousins and their parents get so many cards they end up in a pile on the table. at my house we only get a few, but my dad puts them up in our dining room all around the mirror and I get to inspect how this or that kid has grown, etc.
it can mean different things to different people AND from different people. not that I think you'd disagree, just that there's so many ways this stuff can be more or less important for any given relationship.
and zero non-intimate relationships
Weird how people eat them like they're made with fucking cocaine.
Do what my Nonna does and hang a string near holidays from one wall to another and put your cards on the string!
Currently DMing: None
Characters
[5e] Dural Melairkyn - AC 18 | HP 40 | Melee +5/1d8+3 | Spell +4/DC 12
To some degree I don't think having a division of labor in a relationship is a bad thing, though it is bad when a person feels forced into that role when they explicitly don't want to be. Like, with my roommate we have a pretty clear division of labor and I pick up slack on rent and ordering out where I don't in household chores and cooking. I think that's fine as long as everyone feels as though that's equitable.
But realistically I am never going to be the kind of person who is on top of thinking ahead for social obligations, even though I do work actively on making myself better at it, and I am willing to have someone be a drain on my other resources in return for helping me with that.
Yeah, fuck that.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
This depends a lot on the cake. There is a pretty major range of cake difficulty.
This is disgusting
many things about the experiences you report are surprising, yes
This has contributed to depression
see you can name your brand and amount if you want, if i get to bring a dessert or buy a thing that is a massive relief in any sort of pot luck situation
A thousand pardons good sirs and madams.
Currently DMing: None
Characters
[5e] Dural Melairkyn - AC 18 | HP 40 | Melee +5/1d8+3 | Spell +4/DC 12
since you said Nonna I'm inclined to trust you. we have a system but maybe I can talk them into doing that somehow.
hue hue hue :rotate: fuck america!
It's great, you get them off your table, and you can still admire the art of the cards hanging there.
Currently DMing: None
Characters
[5e] Dural Melairkyn - AC 18 | HP 40 | Melee +5/1d8+3 | Spell +4/DC 12
I apologize for marginalizing those things. I know they are important to many. I guess if I could say one thing as a takeaway for what I’m thinking: as I often overlook or compartmentalize away these particular needs, I would invite others to consider whether the labor that they perform touches those they hope it does. The sort of labor I need is chronically under serviced by women and men alike ime.
As someone who prides himself on slacking in the office and buttressing that with a ton of good home cooked food
Ffuuuuuuuuuck that you bring in those grocery store cookies I'm eating those bitches with a pot of coffee
Maybe I Shouldn't have come back to work after my doc appt.