It does impress me that new Star Wars hasn’t rolled out extended editions of TFA and TLJ yet. I don’t know what’s holding them back, it’s really not hard to imagine an extra 45 minutes of plot for each one that didn’t make the cut.
Make then Disney+ exclusive or something, even.
Extended editions rarely have extended bits that make the movie as a whole a better experience. It may add something locally, add some more explanation, but generally it's been cut for good reason. No need to bloat the movie.
I'd rather have a 45 min addition showing what hair care products Chewie uses
It's just a long shot of him tongue bathing himself like a cat, while smooth jazz plays in the background.
The last 5 minutes involve horking up a hairball the size of a Maine coon.
Porgs and Ewoks finally revolt and begin the feasting of flesh
Or maybe an erotic adventure under an Ewoks robes...Utini indeed :surprised:
Did you miss Return of the Jedi? Ewoks are already well known consumers of human flesh.
We saw them trying to cook Han and Luke.
And where do you think the contents of those Storm Trooper helmets they were playing like drums went? Buried in shallow unmarked graves in the forest? Or the communal stew pot?
The Red Letter Media review of TLJ showed some of the cut material, it apparently was a lot more comedy elements, the only one I remember is some stormtrooper recognizing Finn while they're walking around and congratulating him "Hey, look at you! I never thought you'd make Captain!"
IMO best left on the cutting room floor, I wish the opening "yo mama" joke was cut as well, etc.
Porgs and Ewoks finally revolt and begin the feasting of flesh
Or maybe an erotic adventure under an Ewoks robes...Utini indeed :surprised:
Did you miss Return of the Jedi? Ewoks are already well known consumers of human flesh.
We saw them trying to cook Han and Luke.
And where do you think the contents of those Storm Trooper helmets they were playing like drums went? Buried in shallow unmarked graves in the forest? Or the communal stew pot?
Yeah but like, I want to see it on screen. Their little doofer faces just covered in viscera and meat. And Porgs cooing in a new home carved out of a rib cage.
The Red Letter Media review of TLJ showed some of the cut material, it apparently was a lot more comedy elements, the only one I remember is some stormtrooper recognizing Finn while they're walking around and congratulating him "Hey, look at you! I never thought you'd make Captain!"
IMO best left on the cutting room floor, I wish the opening "yo mama" joke was cut as well, etc.
Yeesh, given that what humor made it through was already pointless and wildly inappropriate I can't even imagine how bad the first draft must have been.
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ShadowenSnores in the morningLoserdomRegistered Userregular
Man, now I want to dig out my VCR to watch the OT the right way.
There's some semi-demakes of the "enhanced" OT where some folks have gone through and cut out the shitty stuff like Lucas rewriting entire scenes or putting awful singing bits in, but still has way enhanced quality over VHS. No idea what the project is called, though, and the file sizes are pretty huge.
Yeah, not going to name it since it's a hilariously obvious copyright violation and The Mouse views that kind of thing quite dimly. Best bet these days is to either go oldschool with VHS or suck it up and deal with the changes. Or find a laser disc player and the laser discs, since that was the best quality unmodified version.
The theatrical versions were put on DVD as a special feature but letterboxed instead of anamorphic just to be dicks about it.
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Linespider5ALL HAIL KING KILLMONGERRegistered Userregular
I’ve...seen the unofficial version spoken of.
To be honest, it was pretty weird.
I could see some of the interior scenes in the Death Star were painted, like the brush strokes you might see on the side of a house. There were a lot of incidental details I hadn’t seen before that really made A New Hope look very very DIY.
The Red Letter Media review of TLJ showed some of the cut material, it apparently was a lot more comedy elements, the only one I remember is some stormtrooper recognizing Finn while they're walking around and congratulating him "Hey, look at you! I never thought you'd make Captain!"
IMO best left on the cutting room floor, I wish the opening "yo mama" joke was cut as well, etc.
Yeesh, given that what humor made it through was already pointless and wildly inappropriate I can't even imagine how bad the first draft must have been.
The stormtrooper gag wouldn't have been too bad. He's undercover, he draws the attention of someone in authority and tension increases because it seems like his cover has been blown, then the tension is relaxed when it turns out to be a false alarm. A pretty standard gag. As long as they didn't go over the top with things the only issue would be the fridge logic about why Finn's status as Excommunicate Traitoris isn't known within the ranks, something that they could have easily dealt with if they had actually bothered to give Phasma any dialogue worth a damn.
The humor at the beginning of TLJ didn't work for me for a combination of a couple reasons. The timing and the lack of subtlety. The movie opens with the super serious issue of the First Order fleet showing up to kill everyone, there's Poe's wrong number joke, the First Order then proceeds to murder the hell out of the Resistance fighters and bombers, then we get Finn wandering around in his diapers followed by the confrontation between Poe and Leia. The stakes at the beginning of the movie are incredibly high, yet at two key points the writers decided to undercut the situation using jokes that make Ow My Balls look like the pinnacle of dry humor. Han and Leia's escape from the Hoth base had three bits of humor, pulling 3P0 through the door, telling him to hurry up as they were running to the Falcon, and the 'get out and push' exchange. Four lines of dialogue that managed to inject a little humor, but thanks to their short nature and their delivery didn't completely undercut the tension of the situation. Especially Han's retort to Leia, where "It might!" was snarled out in a way that implied what he really wanted to say was "Fuck you!"
And I'd like to give a special shout out to whatever idiot thought that having Leia slap Poe was a good idea. It makes her look like an asshole when they could have had her drag Poe into her office and give him a good talking to about obeying orders and not sacrificing people. Good leaders don't physically assault subordinates. That was Vader's gig.
Shut up, Mr. Burton! You were not brought upon this world to get it!
Rian Johnson once drew a direct comparison between Poe's "Wrong Number"(PWN) scene and Han Solo's "Boring Conversation Anyway" (BCA) scene on the Death Star. He argued that criticism of Wrong Number was invalid because Lucas made the same joke first. This is in my view alarmingly wrong, because Boring Conversation is a great scene and Wrong Number is total ass.
Firstly, BCA happens organically. The Death Star guy calls because Han & co. triggered an alarm at that station. It's funny because it catches Han off guard and it's like, "hey-o! how's ol' Han gonna get out of this one?" Han's been established as a lovable rogue who is deadly competent, but also kind of a huge doofus. His frantic bullshitting is the kind of hijinks we expect from Han, but the punchline - shooting the console - is still a surprise. It's a comical action, but it feels right because Han's getting flustered and desperate throughout the conversation.
BCA works because of the power dynamic. The Imperial officer calling down is the one holding all the cards, and our heroes are the ones who urgently need to bluff him. Han is not in charge at any point of the conversation, and that makes his flailing funny, because he's been established as a posturing blowhard who instinctively pretends he's got everything under control (hence "boring conversation anyway"). And it doesn't work; the Imperial officer just plows through his bullshit and sends a squad up anyway.
I think PWN doesn't click because that power dynamic is backwards: Hux has all the cards, but for some reason he's the one taking the call and he's the one getting flustered by Poe's babbling. We aren't wondering how our hero is gonna get out of this one because Poe initiated the conversation to start with. And the really stupid ruse works, which isn't funny because we already know the First Order are dumb and we don't expect Hux to come out on top in anything he does.
Also because the scene makes the absurdity of Hux's entire character apparent because he's standing there right next to the dreadnaught commander who manages to look far more competent.
The story we're just not being told in the movie's is why Hux is there at all. What does he to to avoid being fragged by his subcommanders?
And I'd like to give a special shout out to whatever idiot thought that having Leia slap Poe was a good idea. It makes her look like an asshole when they could have had her drag Poe into her office and give him a good talking to about obeying orders and not sacrificing people. Good leaders don't physically assault subordinates. That was Vader's gig.
I don't mind Leia slapping Poe in and of itself. It's unprofessional and a bad leadership decision, but Leia isn't (or, shouldn't be) perfect and this happens in the midst of an intensely stressful situation. Leia can in fact be an asshole! There are other stories where the good commander snaps and strikes someone for fucking up somehow. Whether Rian Johnson intended this to be seen as a mistake is an open question.
Also because the scene makes the absurdity of Hux's entire character apparent because he's standing there right next to the dreadnaught commander who manages to look far more competent.
The story we're just not being told in the movie's is why Hux is there at all. What does he to to avoid being fragged by his subcommanders?
Or his superiors, who visibly hate him. Vader regularly murdered much better officers for much smaller errors, but Kylo and Snoke just settle for humiliating the shit out of him and leaving him in command, which is the worst of both worlds.
If Hux were popular with his men it would make sense but we're never given that impression. Incompetent military commanders throughout history have kept their commands because the senior leadership liked them or because their men loved them. Hux has no patron above him, no support below him and no redeeming skills that could justify keeping him there. It's bizarre.
You might suppose they keep him because he's too weak to betray them, but that's not even the case. He was totally going to frag Kylo when he had the chance. And Snoke and Kylo would both know that's the case.
Dongs Galore on
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Dark Raven XLaugh hard, run fast,be kindRegistered Userregular
IIRC his name is worth something. I think his dad was an Imperial Admiral that rallied the Star Destroyers after RotJ, and was integral to the First Order being created.
see, if his dad was the guy in charge, that would be cool
or, shit, make it his mom (Imperial misogyny is no longer canon, remember), a hard as fuck navy veteran who is totally over Kylo's daddy issues bullshit and just gets so fucking exasperated at how incompetent everyone is
instead of "Captain Canady, WHY AREN'T YOU BLASTING THAT PUNY SHIP!?" it would be her calling up some pimply ass green commander like "Captain... why have you not scrambled your fighters... again...?"
Someone has to give that 15-minute-long surprisingly empty and generally angry speech about why the Republic (?) is bad (?) and what's going to happen next (?).
It might as well be young Mussolini without the charisma, policy positions, or volume control.
I don't know why he's still around after that, or was before that for that matter. But I also don't know how the First Order managed to build something a hundred times the volume of and vastly more powerful than the Death Star with apparently a twentieth the Empire's resources, especially when there seems to be pretty much no technological progression otherwise. The German Empire had trouble building one functioning aircraft carrier in the 1940s, but they managed it, but it's hard to picture the 1980s State of Bremen building an entirely floating island. Maybe that's why Hux is around.
IIRC his name is worth something. I think his dad was an Imperial Admiral that rallied the Star Destroyers after RotJ, and was integral to the First Order being created.
Not that any of that is in a movie, but eh.
If its not in the movies it didnt happen.
Yes, with a quick verbal "boom." You take a man's peko, you deny him his dab, all that is left is to rise up and tear down the walls of Jericho with a ".....not!" -TexiKen
If the new one reveals that Hux is actually a super competent administrator I'll forgive it
Like, Kylo wanders into the new capital to have his daily rage and Hux is there striding confidently around surrounded by aides, signing papers with one hand while having a highly technical holophone conversation about restructuring the galactic finance system
and Kylo tries to interrupt him and Hux is like "ah ah, one moment my lord - yes, we'll discuss quantitative easing after the white paper on currency revaluation next quarter..."
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OrcaAlso known as EspressosaurusWrexRegistered Userregular
If the new one reveals that Hux is actually a super competent administrator I'll forgive it
Like, Kylo wanders into the new capital to have his daily rage and Hux is there striding confidently around surrounded by aides, signing papers with one hand while having a highly technical holophone conversation about restructuring the galactic finance system
and Kylo tries to interrupt him and Hux is like "ah ah, one moment my lord - yes, we'll discuss quantitative easing after the white paper on currency revaluation next quarter..."
So you want a fourth prequel
Orca on
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AbsoluteZeroThe new film by Quentin KoopantinoRegistered Userregular
Didn't Snoke have an off-handed remark about why he keeps Hux around at one point? My internal logic is Snoke keeps him around to piss off Kylo.
Later, in Hux's office - a disarmingly humble space crammed with repulsorboxes overflowing with holofiles, Hux settles in behind his desk and invites Kylo to speak his mind
Veins pulsing on his forehead, Kylo asks through gritted teeth "General, why aren't my superlaser star destroyers ready yet?"
"Forgive me, my lord, but we had to fund the increasing costs of our MILPER and MILCON programs, with all the new bases, you see... this was explained in the narrative of the FY35 Defense budget request when my office forwarded it for your signature last month. Have you, uh, signed that yet, by the way...?"
The room shakes and holofiles tumble to the floor as Kylo's voice rises menacingly. "General Hux, if there is no money, then you will PRINT MORE MONEY!"
Hux shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose for a long moment, then instructs his personal secretary to cancel his appointments for the afternoon. He taps at his desk console. The lights dim and a hologram flares to life, filling the room with the soothing glow of X and Y axes. "Let us begin, my Lord, with the Demand Curve..."
If the new one reveals that Hux is actually a super competent administrator I'll forgive it
Like, Kylo wanders into the new capital to have his daily rage and Hux is there striding confidently around surrounded by aides, signing papers with one hand while having a highly technical holophone conversation about restructuring the galactic finance system
and Kylo tries to interrupt him and Hux is like "ah ah, one moment my lord - yes, we'll discuss quantitative easing after the white paper on currency revaluation next quarter..."
If the new one reveals that Hux is actually a super competent administrator I'll forgive it
Like, Kylo wanders into the new capital to have his daily rage and Hux is there striding confidently around surrounded by aides, signing papers with one hand while having a highly technical holophone conversation about restructuring the galactic finance system
and Kylo tries to interrupt him and Hux is like "ah ah, one moment my lord - yes, we'll discuss quantitative easing after the white paper on currency revaluation next quarter..."
Star Wars films seem visibly allergic to anything of an administrative nature beyond "Your stupid animal will freeze to death before the first landmark," "Our aircraft will freeze in combat if we don't fix this," and "There's an impenetrable defensive shield. We need to land troops outside of it." So, extremely basic military doctrine, and stuff freezing in the cold.
And it's a bit of a shame, but considering these are pulp space adventure films aimed at a young audience, this is understandable. What was probably only fifteen minutes or so of parliamentary procedure in The Phantom Menace really pissed people off, but that's probably out of George Lucas' failed attempt to produce a political thriller. The problem is that Star Wars aims to be a pulpy space opera adventure aimed at a young (or young-at-heart?) audience, but simultaneously features a very elaborate, very awe-inspiring and threatening enemy war machine that obeys surprisingly realistic military procedure. Otherwise you don't spend time designing specific, distinct uniforms for things like contraband scanning crews on the Death Star, or naval gunnery crews, or systems technicians, or have the Emperor's review of the troops divide the sides up between the army and navy, with stormtroopers on both sides. The costume designers had previous experience in historic war films, as did pretty much every extra who played an Imperial officer in uniform of any import. So of course they play it like war film.
But for everyone else, that shit's boring. In these new films, it seems like a lot of that was cropped out (or rather, never bothered with) as a result. Don't worry about how the First Order keeps all their ships working, they just do. Hux's purpose isn't to demonstrate managerial or technical competency...I'm not sure what Hux's purpose is, besides to be a younger copy of Governor Tarkin who doesn't die but manages to be worse in every conceivable way*. A scene that justifies his existence by showing proficiency--since he's clearly not supposed to be a great warrior or brave military commander or anything like that--would probably be seen as out-of-place and distracting. As oppose to a prank phone call or the swanky Rat Pack casino planet.
Again, it's probably not something considered of interest or worthwhile. A while back, someone on another forum shared a funny fanfic about Moff Jerjerrod, the commander of the Second Death Star, who Darth Vader threatens. So he proceeds to create a hilariously elaborate web of lies, deceit, and cost-cutting and rushed construction to get the Death Star "finished"--by an increasingly loose definition of that--on "time", for the Emperor's review. Jerjerrod can't threaten people with death, because that's just stupid and would make things worse, so he ramps up drugs, contractors, robotic and slave labor. The Death Star is obviously not complete, even if it is battle ready. Jerjerrod is losing his shit, maybe literally. He's cut every possible corner to get to this point, and isn't constrained by bureaucracy so much as basic laws of physics. Then the Emperor shows up, looks at the actual progression of the Death Star for about sixty seconds, and tells him "Job well done," and moves on to scheming with Darth Vader. The gag being that Jerjerrod believed Vader's threats (and in his fear forgot that the Emperor generally trusts him anyway--taken from a cut scene in the films), and probably could've gotten away with far less effort.
*I bet Tarkin was a better lover too, even discounting personal charisma.
Acting like the internet hivemind is the same as the general public is silly. The Reddit echo chamber is loud but hardly the defacto way everyone feels. It's probably how a certain vocal minority sounds off a lot, and being critical of art is fine, it's all fine. People just blow things wayyyy out of proportion and take it as a personal attack when their space soap opera kills off their favorite kissy face boy.
I think the general public's take on star wars is "cool I can go see that on Christmas with my family"
Truth +1. Just look at all those kiddos out there in Rey costumes.
I'm a nerd who's followed this stuff on and off for years. The fandom split is way different than the public split.
Kids? I was a 30something dude dressed as Rey.
Rey is dope.
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OrcaAlso known as EspressosaurusWrexRegistered Userregular
I just read that Instruments of Destruction fanfic, and it is disturbingly on point for the project management at the last two companies I've been at.
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Linespider5ALL HAIL KING KILLMONGERRegistered Userregular
Upon reflection, it kinda would make sense to have the final episode touch on Palpatine.
He was the engine that drove the prequel trilogy (although the idea of him never showing up and slave Anakin’s latent force abilities coming to bear and making him into Tattooine Spartacus is suddenly a compelling premise), and the original trilogy is also largely about his designs and his downfall.
It wouldn’t be hard for me to imagine that Palpatine was SUCH an evil, scheming bastard that he had plans set in motion that continued to perpetuate themselves for decades. He wouldn’t even have to be alive anymore. It could just be a bunch of his directives still being faithfully carried out from the depths of space by zealots who don’t even know the Death Stars ever were a thing.
Man, now I want to dig out my VCR to watch the OT the right way.
There's some semi-demakes of the "enhanced" OT where some folks have gone through and cut out the shitty stuff like Lucas rewriting entire scenes or putting awful singing bits in, but still has way enhanced quality over VHS. No idea what the project is called, though, and the file sizes are pretty huge.
Yeah, not going to name it since it's a hilariously obvious copyright violation and The Mouse views that kind of thing quite dimly. Best bet these days is to either go oldschool with VHS or suck it up and deal with the changes. Or find a laser disc player and the laser discs, since that was the best quality unmodified version.
They also exist as "Bonus" material on the special DVD release from ~10 years ago.
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Extended editions rarely have extended bits that make the movie as a whole a better experience. It may add something locally, add some more explanation, but generally it's been cut for good reason. No need to bloat the movie.
Do it you cowards.
Nah
I'd rather have a 45 min addition showing what hair care products Chewie uses
It's just a long shot of him tongue bathing himself like a cat, while smooth jazz plays in the background.
The last 5 minutes involve horking up a hairball the size of a Maine coon.
Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
Or maybe an erotic adventure under an Jawa robes...Utini indeed :surprised:
Did you miss Return of the Jedi? Ewoks are already well known consumers of human flesh.
We saw them trying to cook Han and Luke.
And where do you think the contents of those Storm Trooper helmets they were playing like drums went? Buried in shallow unmarked graves in the forest? Or the communal stew pot?
IMO best left on the cutting room floor, I wish the opening "yo mama" joke was cut as well, etc.
Yeah but like, I want to see it on screen. Their little doofer faces just covered in viscera and meat. And Porgs cooing in a new home carved out of a rib cage.
So cute :heartbeat:
Yeesh, given that what humor made it through was already pointless and wildly inappropriate I can't even imagine how bad the first draft must have been.
"RAAAaaaRRRaRgh*."
*If you can't make your own brualki, storebought is fine.
The theatrical versions were put on DVD as a special feature but letterboxed instead of anamorphic just to be dicks about it.
To be honest, it was pretty weird.
I could see some of the interior scenes in the Death Star were painted, like the brush strokes you might see on the side of a house. There were a lot of incidental details I hadn’t seen before that really made A New Hope look very very DIY.
"Nothing is gonna save us forever but a lot of things can save us today." - Night in the Woods
The stormtrooper gag wouldn't have been too bad. He's undercover, he draws the attention of someone in authority and tension increases because it seems like his cover has been blown, then the tension is relaxed when it turns out to be a false alarm. A pretty standard gag. As long as they didn't go over the top with things the only issue would be the fridge logic about why Finn's status as Excommunicate Traitoris isn't known within the ranks, something that they could have easily dealt with if they had actually bothered to give Phasma any dialogue worth a damn.
The humor at the beginning of TLJ didn't work for me for a combination of a couple reasons. The timing and the lack of subtlety. The movie opens with the super serious issue of the First Order fleet showing up to kill everyone, there's Poe's wrong number joke, the First Order then proceeds to murder the hell out of the Resistance fighters and bombers, then we get Finn wandering around in his diapers followed by the confrontation between Poe and Leia. The stakes at the beginning of the movie are incredibly high, yet at two key points the writers decided to undercut the situation using jokes that make Ow My Balls look like the pinnacle of dry humor. Han and Leia's escape from the Hoth base had three bits of humor, pulling 3P0 through the door, telling him to hurry up as they were running to the Falcon, and the 'get out and push' exchange. Four lines of dialogue that managed to inject a little humor, but thanks to their short nature and their delivery didn't completely undercut the tension of the situation. Especially Han's retort to Leia, where "It might!" was snarled out in a way that implied what he really wanted to say was "Fuck you!"
And I'd like to give a special shout out to whatever idiot thought that having Leia slap Poe was a good idea. It makes her look like an asshole when they could have had her drag Poe into her office and give him a good talking to about obeying orders and not sacrificing people. Good leaders don't physically assault subordinates. That was Vader's gig.
https://www.paypal.me/hobnailtaylor
It’s consistent. Yeah, that’s about all I got.
Firstly, BCA happens organically. The Death Star guy calls because Han & co. triggered an alarm at that station. It's funny because it catches Han off guard and it's like, "hey-o! how's ol' Han gonna get out of this one?" Han's been established as a lovable rogue who is deadly competent, but also kind of a huge doofus. His frantic bullshitting is the kind of hijinks we expect from Han, but the punchline - shooting the console - is still a surprise. It's a comical action, but it feels right because Han's getting flustered and desperate throughout the conversation.
BCA works because of the power dynamic. The Imperial officer calling down is the one holding all the cards, and our heroes are the ones who urgently need to bluff him. Han is not in charge at any point of the conversation, and that makes his flailing funny, because he's been established as a posturing blowhard who instinctively pretends he's got everything under control (hence "boring conversation anyway"). And it doesn't work; the Imperial officer just plows through his bullshit and sends a squad up anyway.
I think PWN doesn't click because that power dynamic is backwards: Hux has all the cards, but for some reason he's the one taking the call and he's the one getting flustered by Poe's babbling. We aren't wondering how our hero is gonna get out of this one because Poe initiated the conversation to start with. And the really stupid ruse works, which isn't funny because we already know the First Order are dumb and we don't expect Hux to come out on top in anything he does.
The story we're just not being told in the movie's is why Hux is there at all. What does he to to avoid being fragged by his subcommanders?
I don't mind Leia slapping Poe in and of itself. It's unprofessional and a bad leadership decision, but Leia isn't (or, shouldn't be) perfect and this happens in the midst of an intensely stressful situation. Leia can in fact be an asshole! There are other stories where the good commander snaps and strikes someone for fucking up somehow. Whether Rian Johnson intended this to be seen as a mistake is an open question.
Or his superiors, who visibly hate him. Vader regularly murdered much better officers for much smaller errors, but Kylo and Snoke just settle for humiliating the shit out of him and leaving him in command, which is the worst of both worlds.
If Hux were popular with his men it would make sense but we're never given that impression. Incompetent military commanders throughout history have kept their commands because the senior leadership liked them or because their men loved them. Hux has no patron above him, no support below him and no redeeming skills that could justify keeping him there. It's bizarre.
You might suppose they keep him because he's too weak to betray them, but that's not even the case. He was totally going to frag Kylo when he had the chance. And Snoke and Kylo would both know that's the case.
Not that any of that is in a movie, but eh.
or, shit, make it his mom (Imperial misogyny is no longer canon, remember), a hard as fuck navy veteran who is totally over Kylo's daddy issues bullshit and just gets so fucking exasperated at how incompetent everyone is
instead of "Captain Canady, WHY AREN'T YOU BLASTING THAT PUNY SHIP!?" it would be her calling up some pimply ass green commander like "Captain... why have you not scrambled your fighters... again...?"
It might as well be young Mussolini without the charisma, policy positions, or volume control.
I don't know why he's still around after that, or was before that for that matter. But I also don't know how the First Order managed to build something a hundred times the volume of and vastly more powerful than the Death Star with apparently a twentieth the Empire's resources, especially when there seems to be pretty much no technological progression otherwise. The German Empire had trouble building one functioning aircraft carrier in the 1940s, but they managed it, but it's hard to picture the 1980s State of Bremen building an entirely floating island. Maybe that's why Hux is around.
If its not in the movies it didnt happen.
Like, Kylo wanders into the new capital to have his daily rage and Hux is there striding confidently around surrounded by aides, signing papers with one hand while having a highly technical holophone conversation about restructuring the galactic finance system
and Kylo tries to interrupt him and Hux is like "ah ah, one moment my lord - yes, we'll discuss quantitative easing after the white paper on currency revaluation next quarter..."
So you want a fourth prequel
Veins pulsing on his forehead, Kylo asks through gritted teeth "General, why aren't my superlaser star destroyers ready yet?"
"Forgive me, my lord, but we had to fund the increasing costs of our MILPER and MILCON programs, with all the new bases, you see... this was explained in the narrative of the FY35 Defense budget request when my office forwarded it for your signature last month. Have you, uh, signed that yet, by the way...?"
The room shakes and holofiles tumble to the floor as Kylo's voice rises menacingly. "General Hux, if there is no money, then you will PRINT MORE MONEY!"
Hux shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose for a long moment, then instructs his personal secretary to cancel his appointments for the afternoon. He taps at his desk console. The lights dim and a hologram flares to life, filling the room with the soothing glow of X and Y axes. "Let us begin, my Lord, with the Demand Curve..."
I want Yes, Prime Minister set on Coruscant
Star Wars films seem visibly allergic to anything of an administrative nature beyond "Your stupid animal will freeze to death before the first landmark," "Our aircraft will freeze in combat if we don't fix this," and "There's an impenetrable defensive shield. We need to land troops outside of it." So, extremely basic military doctrine, and stuff freezing in the cold.
And it's a bit of a shame, but considering these are pulp space adventure films aimed at a young audience, this is understandable. What was probably only fifteen minutes or so of parliamentary procedure in The Phantom Menace really pissed people off, but that's probably out of George Lucas' failed attempt to produce a political thriller. The problem is that Star Wars aims to be a pulpy space opera adventure aimed at a young (or young-at-heart?) audience, but simultaneously features a very elaborate, very awe-inspiring and threatening enemy war machine that obeys surprisingly realistic military procedure. Otherwise you don't spend time designing specific, distinct uniforms for things like contraband scanning crews on the Death Star, or naval gunnery crews, or systems technicians, or have the Emperor's review of the troops divide the sides up between the army and navy, with stormtroopers on both sides. The costume designers had previous experience in historic war films, as did pretty much every extra who played an Imperial officer in uniform of any import. So of course they play it like war film.
But for everyone else, that shit's boring. In these new films, it seems like a lot of that was cropped out (or rather, never bothered with) as a result. Don't worry about how the First Order keeps all their ships working, they just do. Hux's purpose isn't to demonstrate managerial or technical competency...I'm not sure what Hux's purpose is, besides to be a younger copy of Governor Tarkin who doesn't die but manages to be worse in every conceivable way*. A scene that justifies his existence by showing proficiency--since he's clearly not supposed to be a great warrior or brave military commander or anything like that--would probably be seen as out-of-place and distracting. As oppose to a prank phone call or the swanky Rat Pack casino planet.
Again, it's probably not something considered of interest or worthwhile. A while back, someone on another forum shared a funny fanfic about Moff Jerjerrod, the commander of the Second Death Star, who Darth Vader threatens. So he proceeds to create a hilariously elaborate web of lies, deceit, and cost-cutting and rushed construction to get the Death Star "finished"--by an increasingly loose definition of that--on "time", for the Emperor's review. Jerjerrod can't threaten people with death, because that's just stupid and would make things worse, so he ramps up drugs, contractors, robotic and slave labor. The Death Star is obviously not complete, even if it is battle ready. Jerjerrod is losing his shit, maybe literally. He's cut every possible corner to get to this point, and isn't constrained by bureaucracy so much as basic laws of physics. Then the Emperor shows up, looks at the actual progression of the Death Star for about sixty seconds, and tells him "Job well done," and moves on to scheming with Darth Vader. The gag being that Jerjerrod believed Vader's threats (and in his fear forgot that the Emperor generally trusts him anyway--taken from a cut scene in the films), and probably could've gotten away with far less effort.
*I bet Tarkin was a better lover too, even discounting personal charisma.
Kids? I was a 30something dude dressed as Rey.
Rey is dope.
He was the engine that drove the prequel trilogy (although the idea of him never showing up and slave Anakin’s latent force abilities coming to bear and making him into Tattooine Spartacus is suddenly a compelling premise), and the original trilogy is also largely about his designs and his downfall.
It wouldn’t be hard for me to imagine that Palpatine was SUCH an evil, scheming bastard that he had plans set in motion that continued to perpetuate themselves for decades. He wouldn’t even have to be alive anymore. It could just be a bunch of his directives still being faithfully carried out from the depths of space by zealots who don’t even know the Death Stars ever were a thing.
**
The Dreadnought commander in TLJ was awesome. I was so sad when he died. He should've replaced Hux.
PSN: Bizazedo
CFN: Bizazedo (I don't think I suck, add me).
Talented and capable management being replaced by political sycophants and nepotism is too realistic for our science fantasy?
Law and Order ≠ Justice
ACNH Island Isla Cero: DA-3082-2045-4142
Captain of the SES Comptroller of the State
They also exist as "Bonus" material on the special DVD release from ~10 years ago.
While we're at it, also how the fuck Maz found Anakin's saber.