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QUILTBAG: Better Living Through Transgression of Sexual Mores

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Posts

  • credeikicredeiki Registered User regular
    edited February 25
    https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/24/style/gender-neutral-x-passport-ids.html

    The US is looking at getting X as a gender option on passports. If I could get all my legal documentation to say X, I think I would! Although they would need to make that an option for your social security card as well (but that's less immediately important because it isn't public facing/you seldom show it to anyone).

    credeiki on
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  • credeikicredeiki Registered User regular
    MichaelLC wrote: »
    Gnizmo wrote: »
    MichaelLC wrote: »
    Just to briefly unlurk, a friend works at a company that recently classified gender dysphoria as a physical condition - not mental - where treatment is often surgery.

    That...sounds like a good thing?

    Hum. I am trying to think through this as it relates to my personal and professional stuff. I can't sort my thoughts on this perfectly personally. I think I like it? It appears to be moving in the direction I generally like. Treating it as a physical condition rather than mental one makes sense to me at least. My problem doesn't lie in my brain being wrong, but my body having developed in ways I dislike.

    I am pretty sure I like this from my stand point as a therapist as well. Even the best intentioned therapists I have met will have elements of "are you trans enough" strewn throughout some of their stuff. Not because of a desire to test people but out of a desire to protect their license which is just cowardice to me. Moving it away from a mental state at all moves it out of the realm of shit we should have on our professional plate which makes me happy.

    I see zero reason to treat it any differently than typical plastic surgery. You don't need a therapists to sign off on a typical boob job so why the fuck are we suddenly pulled in for this? Don't get me wrong, I get why for the individual it is a much bigger deal than like a typical nose job. Clinically it really doesn't register though in a much different way. At best you could compare it to a vasectomy. I would say hysterectomy as well but that opens up a similar but distinctly different type of bullshit.

    Yeah I think considering it a physical condition means the brain is 'right' but your body is 'wrong' - just like any cosmetic or other surgery.

    Just wanted to share, thought it was a good clinical way to look at it. This is for insurance purposes, so probably the real reason is a few surgeries are cheaper than a lifetime of therapy .

    Yeah there's two main things to consider about the 'physical' aspect.

    1. it allows people to get surgery covered by insurance as a treatment for their "medical" rather than "mental" condition (using scare quotes because obviously the distinction does not make too much sense). This is good!

    2. It means that the surgery is *not* treated as cosmetic surgery, and instead as medically necessary, therefore
    --a doctor has to sign off on it as medically necessary (perhaps encouraging a pattern of thinking revolving around 'are you dysphoric enough for surgery', rather than, 'would this surgery make you happier')
    --being trans becomes more strongly tied to medical procedures
    This is bad!

    I think overall it's worth it so that people with financial constraints can get surgery/so that the desire to get a sex change is recognized as so valid that society is obligated to help you fulfill it.
    But! I want to be able to just change my body without having to tell a shrink I'd kill myself if I couldn't, in order to get a diagnosis of medically valid gender dysphoria (because that's not how I feel at all!)

    To be clear, I did not actually have to say that to get a diagnosis and prescription for hormones, and was able to be quite honest about my feelings, ambivalence, etc. I did have to pay out of pocket for top surgery, but for a different reason (my HMO only had one surgeon who would do it and he was not experienced and additionally was creepy, so I went to someone else who does top surgery as her main thing, or one of her main things anyway, and had a nice picturebook of post-surgical good results, etc)

    In conclusion: mixed feelings about it all.

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  • GnizmoGnizmo Registered User regular
    When you put it like that, it makes perfect sense @Gnizmo
    I wish mental health experts like you were heard and listened to in the Bell v Tavistock case and we wouldn't be in this mess...
    MichaelLC wrote: »
    the brain is 'right' but your body is 'wrong'
    I really like that summary - I think that should go in the DSM!

    My introduction to a/b/o was watching several hours of Lindsey Ellis videos explaining some frankly absurd legal drama stemming from omegaverse authors that seemed to be building up to a major scotus copywrite case and then died off because the person behind all the drama just never actually showed up to court.
    Wait... Lindsay Ellis is no longer getting sued by that omegaverse chick?
    Aww.... but that was so hilarious to watch....
    But really, by main problem with that whole genre is it propping up debunked wolf science and I won't stand for it!
    LOL
    Next time a friend sends me an A/B/O fic I don't want to read, I'll be like "This is unscientific! How dare you!" : D

    They specifically didn't put it that way in the DSM-V for a very specific reason. It was left in so we can bill insurance easily, or so the story goes. I am inherently skeptical of anyone claiming to do the wrong thing for the right reason, but this at least tracks well. Therapists are a required component of the whole transition process as it is currently set-up a lot of places (fuck you WPATH). So rather than move to remove it from the DSM the compromise was to leave it in to keep treatment generally more accessible.

    Personally, I think it is all stupid and should be removed. If I have to come up with a diagnosis then I can find something in there pretty easily*. Adjustment disorders are right there! I have met clinicians who are extremely rigid in what they will diagnose though so it likely does some good there. Hopefully the changes MichaelLC is talking about become more universal and as a result this can be removed like the other ways LGBT individuals have been stigmatized by my profession.

    *Notably, with client approval. I don't diagnose unless I am forced to, and then only after a conversation about possible long term ramifications. No need to label someone with something that could haunt them for a long time. The insurance system in the US fucking sucks.

    SeidkonaPirateQueen
  • initiatefailureinitiatefailure Registered User regular
    My introduction to a/b/o was watching several hours of Lindsey Ellis videos explaining some frankly absurd legal drama stemming from omegaverse authors that seemed to be building up to a major scotus copywrite case and then died off because the person behind all the drama just never actually showed up to court.
    Wait... Lindsay Ellis is no longer getting sued by that omegaverse chick?
    Aww.... but that was so hilarious to watch....
    But really, by main problem with that whole genre is it propping up debunked wolf science and I won't stand for it!
    LOL
    Next time a friend sends me an A/B/O fic I don't want to read, I'll be like "This is unscientific! How dare you!" : D

    I'm not sure about the first thing. the first video was just documenting the initial lawsuits against other authors. Then there was a second video of "now they're mad at me for telling you all this" that I just remember having threat of legal action and general harassment. It's possible Ellis was actually sued at that point but I don't remember. It's also possible that the second video led to a lawsuit, but I haven't seen any follow-up since then

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  • Emerlmaster999Emerlmaster999 Quill {they/them}Registered User regular
    So after calling me yesterday to check to see if I was still good to come into Planned Parenthood's clinic for my 3mo checkup and then earlier today to tell me it had to be a telehealth appointment instead, they now called me an hour ago saying they have to find me a different provider since they cannot do any appointments tomorrow and couldn't get me back in til the 10th when my hormones run out on Sunday.

    I am friggin livid.

    pimentotzeentchlingZilla360Curly_Brace
  • BlankZoeBlankZoe Registered User regular
    edited February 26
    Ayyyyy

    I got a DM from Sweeney checking to see if I am, like, alive and whatnot given I don't really post here much anymore.

    I just wanted to pop in to say that A) I am alive! B) Things are going great, I'm fully out to my family and at my new job, working on having my name legally changed here in the next few months and getting top surgery in April and C) am grateful for this place giving me an original safe space to kinda explore my identity and who I wanted to be.

    I think that this forum is an important place for a lot of reasons, but there are lots of other places that you can find more...thorough resources provided by queer and trans folks directly without having to accommodate folks who may not be outright phobic but definitely don't really comprehend what challenges queer folks (especially trans folks (especially BIPOC trans folks)) are facing in the current world.

    Not trying to like, shit on this thread or the forum. Just because I aint here much doesn't mean other people don't find it vital. If you do, that rules.

    Anyways, just wanted to go HELLO I AM ALIVE for anyone who may have been worried. Hope yall are well!

    Here's a pic from a couple weeks ago, as proof:
    lrs80bo1bjq8.jpg

    BlankZoe on
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  • McFodderMcFodder Registered User regular
    I awesomed the post and then clicked to open the pic and I'm sad I already used my awesome before I saw that because you look awesome!

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  • FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    McFodder wrote: »
    I awesomed the post and then clicked to open the pic and I'm sad I already used my awesome before I saw that because you look awesome!

    Literally had the same thought process.

  • TefTef Registered User regular
    Black lippy owns

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

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  • FearghaillFearghaill HIGH ON THE WIRE BUT I WON'T TRIP ITRegistered User regular
    McFodder wrote: »
    I awesomed the post and then clicked to open the pic and I'm sad I already used my awesome before I saw that because you look awesome!

    the secret is to follow Zoe on twitter, you get rad selfies, awesome comic essays and recommendations and occasionally get to watch her friends and peers dunk on her for autocorrect causing her to talk about Batgirl's "cookie"

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  • Emerlmaster999Emerlmaster999 Quill {they/them}Registered User regular
    So turns out, when Planned Parenthood said I'd be directed to a different provider they just meant a different doctor, and that I'm still doing a telehealth call with them in two and a half hours today.

    Phew!

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  • AnzekayAnzekay Registered User regular
    this is a bit self-indulgent, but I got to finally share the (mostly) final version of a card I've been working on for the netrunner fan project today, and it's a character who is queer as fuck and a personal favourite so, it's been a nice day

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  • Curly_BraceCurly_Brace Robot Girl Mimiga VillageRegistered User regular
    You look awesome, Zoe!

    Zilla360JaysonFour
  • Emerlmaster999Emerlmaster999 Quill {they/them}Registered User regular
    edited February 27
    Well there was a slight delay with my estradiol refill (taking 1.5mg twice a day now) but they did give me enough to get through the weekend til it is ready on Monday evening, and my spiro refill went off without a hitch.

    More amusing to me was, because we doubled that to 100mg twice a day, they just decided to give me an entire friggin bottle of 100 pills rather than use a total of three of the little orange bottles.


    That bottle is meaty.

    Emerlmaster999 on
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  • StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    Yeah, I was on 200mg, and the bottle is just packed.

    But my T levels were way too low, so I went down to 150mg. Still untraceable in my blood. Down to 100mg, and only now did I test at 3ng/dL, so I’m likely going down to, I dunno, 50mg?

    Basically, my 2020 refill is going to last until 2022.

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  • pimentopimento she/they/pim Registered User regular
    Meanwhile here I am on 12.5mg (a quarter of a 50mg) tab of Cyproterone to supress my T. Apparently it's not an option in the US due one of its side effects being 'potentially gives you cancer' but apparently the risk of that only happens at 25mg per day.

    The other side effect is 'can really make your depression worse' but we won't tell them that, they'll make it mandatory.

  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    I'm lucky to be on triptorelin

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  • -Tal-Tal Registered User regular
    i wish that gender markers were simply not on ids

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  • StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    But it’s the only time I’ve been happy to get an F.

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  • AnzekayAnzekay Registered User regular
    I would like my gender marker to be a black void of fuligin, a darkness that pulls you in until you fear to ever ask someone for their gender ever again

    tzeentchling
  • I needed a gnome to post.I needed a gnome to post. boom Registered User regular
    -Tal wrote: »
    i wish that gender markers were simply not on ids

    i spent a stunning amount of time staring at this trying to figure out what you were seeing on the netrunner card

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  • pimentopimento she/they/pim Registered User regular
    -Tal wrote: »
    i wish that gender markers were simply not on ids

    Down here the only thing we have with a gender marker on it is a passport. It's weird to me that some places have like gender, height, hair colour, all that nonsense on a driver's license.

  • jaziekjaziek Registered User regular
    Platy wrote: »
    I'm lucky to be on triptorelin

    I've switched over to this now too. I was on cypro, and it was doing its job, but it was affecting my mood pretty badly, and yeah, I don't think people like to prescribe it as much recently since the report linking it to benign brain tumours with long term use came out over the last year or two.

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  • credeikicredeiki Registered User regular
    Sterica wrote: »
    Yeah, I was on 200mg, and the bottle is just packed.

    But my T levels were way too low, so I went down to 150mg. Still untraceable in my blood. Down to 100mg, and only now did I test at 3ng/dL, so I’m likely going down to, I dunno, 50mg?

    Basically, my 2020 refill is going to last until 2022.

    Dumb question possibly, but do they ever prescribe people both estrogen and testosterone?

    Steam, LoL: credeiki
  • ElldrenElldren Is a woman dammit ceterum censeoRegistered User regular
    credeiki wrote: »
    Sterica wrote: »
    Yeah, I was on 200mg, and the bottle is just packed.

    But my T levels were way too low, so I went down to 150mg. Still untraceable in my blood. Down to 100mg, and only now did I test at 3ng/dL, so I’m likely going down to, I dunno, 50mg?

    Basically, my 2020 refill is going to last until 2022.

    Dumb question possibly, but do they ever prescribe people both estrogen and testosterone?

    I mean that would be an unusual situation but if your body chemistry is real bad with hormone levels I can see it happening.

    Like for anyone undergoing hormone therapy, cis or trans

    fuck gendered marketing
    Phoenix-D
  • PsykomaPsykoma Registered User regular
    I think some trans women have had very small doses of T post GRS for their libido/energy

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  • Blackhawk1313Blackhawk1313 Registered User regular
    I need a gender marker on documentation that isn’t just leaving it blank, but rather a black hole of gender icon from which both light and gender identification cannot escape.

    Zilla360ShadowenPirateQueen
  • SeidkonaSeidkona Had an upgrade Registered User regular
    I know a few trans people who take low dose T as part of their Trans femminine HRT regimen.

    It helps with energy and sexual drive for them.

    Mostly just huntin' monsters.
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  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    I'm trying to update stuff with the VA, and their forms have born-as and identify-as spots, both have Male/Female as the only options.

    Better than nothing, but ugh.

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  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    My voice is changing, noticed that while on the phone today.

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  • initiatefailureinitiatefailure Registered User regular
    i hate it here.

    We just narrowly voted against a trans youth sports ban being jammed into a covid relief bill and one of the dems voted in favor of it. The only things that stopped it was an R crossing the line and one senator having to go home for a family death and not being able to vote.

    These fuckers

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  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited March 6
    i hate it here.

    We just narrowly voted against a trans youth sports ban being jammed into a covid relief bill and one of the dems voted in favor of it. The only things that stopped it was an R crossing the line and one senator having to go home for a family death and not being able to vote.

    These fuckers

    Machin voted for it, the fucker.

    DarkPrimus on
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  • WhippyWhippy Moderator, Admin Emeritus Admin Emeritus
    Weaver wrote: »
    My voice is changing, noticed that while on the phone today.

    Why? What are you on?

  • CambiataCambiata Commander Shepard The likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered User regular
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    i hate it here.

    We just narrowly voted against a trans youth sports ban being jammed into a covid relief bill and one of the dems voted in favor of it. The only things that stopped it was an R crossing the line and one senator having to go home for a family death and not being able to vote.

    These fuckers

    Machin voted for it, the fucker.

    Machin is the absolute worst. In what way is he actually a Democrat?

    While it doesn't seem that any rich were eaten. It definitely feels like a soup course with broth made from rich stock - bouillonaire if you will - was had.

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  • JarsJars Registered User regular
    was this vote in the senate? which republican votes for it?

  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    Jars wrote: »
    was this vote in the senate? which republican votes for it?

    Murkowksi was the only Republican who voted against it.

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  • ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    Cambiata wrote: »
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    i hate it here.

    We just narrowly voted against a trans youth sports ban being jammed into a covid relief bill and one of the dems voted in favor of it. The only things that stopped it was an R crossing the line and one senator having to go home for a family death and not being able to vote.

    These fuckers

    Machin voted for it, the fucker.

    Machin is the absolute worst. In what way is he actually a Democrat?

    Legit answer - in the way that makes Schumer majority leader instead of McConnell.

    Literally everything that passes will be both in spite of and unsarcastically thanks to Manchin

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  • I needed a gnome to post.I needed a gnome to post. boom Registered User regular
    Cambiata wrote: »
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    i hate it here.

    We just narrowly voted against a trans youth sports ban being jammed into a covid relief bill and one of the dems voted in favor of it. The only things that stopped it was an R crossing the line and one senator having to go home for a family death and not being able to vote.

    These fuckers

    Machin voted for it, the fucker.

    Machin is the absolute worst. In what way is he actually a Democrat?

    tbh, in more ways than any democrat would like to admit

    liEt3nH.png
    something a million times dumberThe Escape Goat
  • MsAnthropyMsAnthropy The Lady of Pain Breaks the Rhythm, Breaks the Rhythm, Breaks the Rhythm The City of FlowersRegistered User regular
    Jars wrote: »
    was this vote in the senate? which republican votes for it?

    It was in the Senate—an attempt to add it as an amendment to the COVID relief package. All Republicans but Murkowski (and the dude who was gone) voted for it.
    Cambiata wrote: »
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    i hate it here.

    We just narrowly voted against a trans youth sports ban being jammed into a covid relief bill and one of the dems voted in favor of it. The only things that stopped it was an R crossing the line and one senator having to go home for a family death and not being able to vote.

    These fuckers

    Machin voted for it, the fucker.

    Machin is the absolute worst. In what way is he actually a Democrat?

    Only in that he caucuses with them, and thus allows Schumer to control the voting calendar, etc.

    Manchin has a long history of transphobia. He voted against the Equality Act last year because he thinks trans people shouldn’t be allowed to use the bathroom. His wife is friends with Tony Perkins, who leads an org that basically has architected the anti-trans conservative movement for the past 5 years. His brother was superintendent of the school where a teacher followed a trans boy into the restroom and demanded that the kid use a urinal to prove he belonged there.

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  • Blackhawk1313Blackhawk1313 Registered User regular
    Not to diminish the shittiness of it and it being cold comfort but it would have required 60 vote majority to actually be added, so while it doesn’t nothing to remove the concerns and crap existence of legislative folks, it at least wasn’t a complete immediate threat that was narrowly avoided.

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