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QUILTBAG: It’s Pride Time

1798082848594

Posts

  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    The biggest factors for soft hair are going to be how much you grow it out (for volume) and how you take care of it

    If you're worried about hair density, finasteride or preferably dutasteride can give you some of the benefits of HRT

  • Hi I'm Vee!Hi I'm Vee! Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C E Registered User regular
    What if I already have luscious curls? I expect that means HRT will give me hair so alluring that I'll be irresistible...

    No no, don't bother correcting me with 'science', this feels right.

    vRyue2p.png
    pimentoSeidkona
  • King RiptorKing Riptor Registered User regular
    edited May 4
    I've been having a lot of unprompted moments of thinking "I don't want to chemically change my body... I mean, unless it makes my hair nicer" the last few weeks.

    That's it. That's my update. I don't really know what to do with that hah.

    If it helps at all I was like that with antidepressants for a long long time then last year I realized Ive been dating a woman on anti depressants for 7 years and she maybe wouldnt be here if she had those same thoughts. Its not a drastic change like HRT would be but I feel not different but like better?

    Anyway I say give it a go. You can always stop if its not working for you

    King Riptor on
    I have a podcast now. It's about video games and anime!Find it here.
  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    edited May 4
    My hair is currently having a race against itself to see if it can thin out to nothingness before being wiped away by my receding hairline

    Brovid Hasselsmof on
  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Oh nooo, how do you feel about it

  • initiatefailureinitiatefailure Registered User regular
    edited May 4
    Sorry I didn't really think through implications of my words. and it's hard to just throw a comment like that into a text format without extra paragraphs of full context and more specific meaning.

    My hair isn't the only thing i've thought about.

    But the thing with my hair is it's very fine and straight and now that it's down past my shoulders it has a little wave at the end. So the issue is I go from like day1 washed is super nice, next day is also nice and soft and looks full. After that it starts to feel thinner and not full and like the entire back just narrows down to a sad little tail, so i'm just fighting a war of attrition with dry shampoos and other care products until it's time to wash it again. It's like I definitely don't want to go back to short hair, but would it kill it to be thicker! I don't want to have to use a bunch of things with aluminum in them to make it look fuller.

    idk, I'm just being the "throw ball, no give, only throw" meme dog about hair

    initiatefailure on
    I Do Design | I PSN- Subtle_Ties | 3DS: 3840-5210-2008 (Subtle)
  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    edited May 5
    Platy wrote: »
    Oh nooo, how do you feel about it

    Eh.

    The thinning is disappointing, because I've always had really thick hair, but it's not that bad (yet). The hairline is just my dad's hairline. It was always going to happen. And I think my hairline receding to a certain point was a key factor in me starting to be consistently read as male.

    Brovid Hasselsmof on
  • credeikicredeiki Registered User regular
    Seidkona wrote: »
    I I sort of take umbrage with "chemically changing your body"

    It makes the process of going through a puberty. . . Sound so. .. clinical an cold?!

    I do not know why I am having this reaction to that wording?

    I am not mad. You definitely didn't mean it the way it's hitting me but felt like the acknowledgement of those feelings were on order

    Whereas I hate the phrasing ‘going through puberty’ and would instead prefer to discuss altering my hormone levels/chemical balance

    Puberty generally implies a whole level of socio-emotional development and a teenage social context alongside the physical changes, and I feel like not only does that not apply to me, a person in their thirties, but that it’s insulting to compare adult life consequences of transition (divorce, redefining adult friendships, etc) to hahaha teenagers have acne

    I know that’s an uncharitable read, and that many trans people like talking about ‘second puberty’ and also that puberty can mean something deeper than ‘lol teenage problems that we laugh at’. But still, I do not like it.

    Steam, LoL: credeiki
    PsykomaElldren
  • credeikicredeiki Registered User regular
    My hair is currently having a race against itself to see if it can thin out to nothingness before being wiped away by my receding hairline

    Hm I haven’t experienced that at all but it is probably genetic

    My dad has a full head of hair that still needs to regularly get pruned like a topiary, and I don’t think his hairline ever receded either

    I honestly am ok with this. Does not help me pass but I love my hair so I wouldn’t want to see it changed.

    Steam, LoL: credeiki
  • PsykomaPsykoma Registered User regular
    The old wives tale is that the hair of the men on your mothers side of the family are who you have to look towards for what kind of hair loss you should expect.

    pimentocredeikiFencingsaxProlegomenaRhesus PositiveElldren
  • BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User regular
    edited May 5
    I believe it is pretty much just genetics yeah, activated by androgens if you have the genes

    BahamutZERO on
    BahamutZERO.gif
  • 3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    There are multiple types of hair loss/baldness and they are inherited in different ways. Some are X-linked (which is why you're told to look at your mom's dad), some are carried on the autosomes. Most them are are mediated by testosterone in some capacity.

    For example, all the men on my mom's side have full heads of hair, but I'm 32 and pretty bald.

    H3KnucklesPirateQueen
  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    yeah I'm bald as heck and it's my dad's fault

    the blood is strong

    mysticjuicer
  • AtomikaAtomika actually just 30 trillion differentiated and specialized cells in a trenchcoat Registered User regular
    I have a head full of hair and my younger brother is bald. Go figure. Glad it was me though that got the hair.

  • AtomikaAtomika actually just 30 trillion differentiated and specialized cells in a trenchcoat Registered User regular
    TMI: sex (cross posted from chat)

    I haven’t had the best go of it lately, between surgeries and energy and dysmorphia, plus my gf is having some sexual issues of her own which are complicated, so I haven’t had an orgasm this year, and have only tried to do something about it one unsuccessful time, which resulted in a two-day migraine.

    So a few weeks ago I got the itch to address this, and went looking for a product that would best fit both my non-standard anatomy and provide intensity in the places I need it. I found something that looked promising and purchased it; it arrived over the weekend and I only recently got a chance to try it out this afternoon. I put on the slow jams, dimmed the lights, lit a nice candle, found a sexy video, and went to work.

    30 minutes later, I can unequivocally report it works like a freaking champ.

    🥇

    H3KnucklesMcFodderaStoryAboutYoupimentonever dietzeentchlingMsAnthropymysticjuicerinitiatefailureFencingsaxToxLucedesRhesus PositiveForceVoidZilla360ElldrenShadowenDouglasDangerSorcePirateQueenDepressperadoButlerM-VickersDoctorArchTankHammer3cl1ps3BrodyInfamyDeferredJaysonFourUsagiDevoutlyApatheticApocalyptuspooka
  • H3KnucklesH3Knuckles Jack of all interests... ...master of noneRegistered User regular
    edited May 6
    I went bald in my late 20's/early 30's, despite not having any male genetic relatives in living memory who were bald. I'm not happy about it, I used to have a thick head of super-curly hair.

    H3Knuckles on
    If you're curious about my icon; it's an update of the early Lego Castle theme's "Black Falcons" faction.
    camo_sig2-400.png
  • Indie WinterIndie Winter die Krähe Rudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered User regular
    edited May 6
    I've got that combo of large forehead + HUGE widow's peak

    basically the swooped back Will Arnett

    honestly considering my maternal grandfather was monk-diming and my dad's side of the family have all aged into sporting the Curly Gargamel I consider myself lucky

    Indie Winter on
    RCmKIvs.gif
    3034-4093-8537 on Switch
  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    Psykoma wrote: »
    The old wives tale is that the hair of the men on your mothers side of the family are who you have to look towards for what kind of hair loss you should expect.

    Would be nice if that were true. My mum's dad is 88 and still has a full head of almost completely dark hair. I started getting greys when I was 20. My brother's got hair more like my mum's family, mine is more like my dad's.

    DepressperadoPsykoma
  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    edited May 6
    yeah I had always heard it was your mom's side and my poppy had a luscious head of dark and naturally shiny hair, like he conditioned it, but he definitely didn't.

    so I was sittin' pretty up until I turned 18 and was like "hey where'd all this forehead come fro- shit"

    Depressperado on
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    I don't have hair like anyone in my family, this red had been recessive for eons.

    ElTL7ou.jpg
    PirateQueenShadowen
  • M-VickersM-Vickers Registered User regular
    Atomika wrote: »
    TMI: sex (cross posted from chat)

    I haven’t had the best go of it lately, between surgeries and energy and dysmorphia, plus my gf is having some sexual issues of her own which are complicated, so I haven’t had an orgasm this year, and have only tried to do something about it one unsuccessful time, which resulted in a two-day migraine.

    So a few weeks ago I got the itch to address this, and went looking for a product that would best fit both my non-standard anatomy and provide intensity in the places I need it. I found something that looked promising and purchased it; it arrived over the weekend and I only recently got a chance to try it out this afternoon. I put on the slow jams, dimmed the lights, lit a nice candle, found a sexy video, and went to work.

    30 minutes later, I can unequivocally report it works like a freaking champ.

    🥇

    Orgasms are just terrific.

    DepressperadoAtomikatzeentchlingFencingsax3cl1ps3initiatefailureCurly_BracePirateQueenLucedesElldrenShadowenZilla360ToxBrodyMcFodderSorceJaysonFourUsaginever dieApocalyptus
  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    edited May 6
    because of my brain pills and just general neglect, my genitals and I haven't really been on speaking terms for a while.

    I think an orgasm might kill me.

    edit: I have a list of ways I don't want to die, and having a stroke on top of somebody because it was Too Much, Man is pretty high up there

    Depressperado on
    PirateQueenBahamutZEROShadowenPhoenix-D
  • PirateQueenPirateQueen Registered User regular
    Aww c'mon @Depressperado **

    So... a friend recently accidentally came out to her mom by
    ordering a whole bunch of sex toys for herself and her partner and somehow putting in her old home address for shipping... sending all those fun things to her mom X)

    H3KnucklesFencingsax3cl1ps3TankHammerElldrenKayne Red RobeBahamutZEROShadowenZilla360BrodyDepressperadopimentoGnizmoaStoryAboutYouMcFoddertzeentchlingAtomikaSorceEmerlmaster999MsAnthropyJaysonFournever dieRhesus PositiveApocalyptus
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    Aww c'mon @Depressperado **

    So... a friend recently accidentally came out to her mom by
    ordering a whole bunch of sex toys for herself and her partner and somehow putting in her old home address for shipping... sending all those fun things to her mom X)

    oh no

    ElTL7ou.jpg
    H3KnucklesFencingsaxMunkus BeaverDouglasDanger3cl1ps3JedocLucedesPsykomaVyolynceElldrenKayne Red RobeBahamutZEROShadowenZilla360credeikiCurly_BraceBrodyDepressperadopimentoGnizmoMcFoddertzeentchlingAtomikamysticjuicerSorceMsAnthropyJaysonFourApocalyptusFleur de Alys
  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    Oh no.
    Did the mom open the package addressed to her daughter?
    The most I would expect from my mother is to figure things out from the return address and an awkward call from her about shipping it down to me.

    PirateQueen
  • 3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    I've definitely gotten sex toys that come in packaging that says THIS IS FOR FUCKIN' instead of just like a brown box or something.

    PirateQueenPhoenix-DDepressperadotzeentchlingAtomikaLucedesMsAnthropyJaysonFour
  • FearghaillFearghaill HIGH ON THE WIRE BUT I WON'T TRIP ITRegistered User regular
    Depending on the type of coming out it could have been addressed to a name the mother wasn’t familiar with

    PirateQueenBahamutZEROTankHammerPhoenix-DGnizmoEmerlmaster999
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    Back to the hair talk, I'm 42 next month, this is just me shaking my head after driving home with the windows down-

    11ktgbhct50q.jpg

    And then I brushed it out and it looks like I've been up since half past 2am (which I have) and worked a busy day and am kinda befuddled, but still kinda cute? Been a year since my last hair cut.

    9l3zac8zarah.jpg

    ElTL7ou.jpg
    PirateQueenBahamutZEROShadowenZilla360R-demasofyeunBrodyDepressperadopimentoaStoryAboutYouJedocMcFoddertzeentchlingHi I'm Vee!mysticjuicerSorceInfamyDeferredLucedesJaysonFournever dieButlerApocalyptusFleur de Alys
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    I had several months of back and forth thought about going clean shaven, understanding that agender/non-binary doesn't mean you owe anyone an androgynous look. I did start cutting my beard a lot shorter, but I still like it, even if it's in a mask everywhere I go. I'm currently waiting for my curly-ass hair to get long enough so I can tie it back when I run and not have strands of sweat hair all over my face when I run!

    ElTL7ou.jpg
  • PirateQueenPirateQueen Registered User regular
    Your hair is amazing @Weaver !

    Really like your suggestion @eclipse, that should be standard!

    mysticjuicerZilla360
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited May 6
    I was expecting "Nick your linked images are too big!" not compliments. Thanks everyone.

    I do want to get like some sort of maintenance trim, but keep growing it out longer, but this is the longest hair I've ever had so I have no idea how to broach with a stylist. There was an incident back in the mid 2010s, where I had grown my hair out a bit, and went for "just a simple cut, clean up the ends" and got shaved down back to a fucking high & tight, but with scissors.

    Weaver on
    ElTL7ou.jpg
  • Hi I'm Vee!Hi I'm Vee! Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C E Registered User regular
    Nick your linked images are too big!

    It's too much of your fantastic hair, I can't handle it!

    vRyue2p.png
    LucedesSorcemysticjuicerJaysonFournever die
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    :redface:

    ElTL7ou.jpg
  • Hi I'm Vee!Hi I'm Vee! Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C E Registered User regular
    So I joined an LGBTQ guild in WoW for raiding and stuff, and I've decided to use a voice morphing app when I'm on Discord with them because I don't want my general procrastiness on doing voice coaching to make things more difficult for me with strangers because I sound like a dude online. I've used this in a couple of contexts, like for streaming and also gaming one on one with friends that I'm out to. I worked on tweaking it with a trans friend of mine who also uses the software and I thought it was in a pretty good place, based on listening to playback of me talking into Audacity.

    I did some dungeons with a few members of the guild a couple weeks ago, and I sooorta wondered if they couldn't tell how I was presenting based on the output of the voice morpher? But with that particular group, my pronouns were relatively quickly asked for and given and so it ended up not being anything.

    After a couple weeks away from the game, I came back today and did some more dungeons. There were a couple of folks from the other group...maybe just one? Everyone has so many alts it's hard to keep track...

    Anyway we did two whole dungeons without it coming up at all, and then on the last boss on the last dungeon I died very early, and while they were trying to find my body to rez, one of them was like "where's his body" and another answered "oh, he's at the top of the stairs". So I've been stewing about that for a few hours I guess.

    Ultimately what upsets me isn't the misgendering itself; it doesn't make me feel dysphoric or anything to be referred to with male pronouns. It's...basically everything else about it. First is how I handled it; namely, that I didn't. I didn't correct either of them, and the party disbanded after that dungeon so there were no further incidents. But like...if I can't speak up and correct people when they use the wrong pronouns for me, when it's this group? An explicitly queer guild, full of people who have been genuinely nice and helpful and welcoming? How the hell am I going to make myself say something when it comes from someone who's even just not-queer, much less anti-queer? Then the followup from that is...now it's a thing. If I want to keep playing with these people I'll have to address this at some point, and that's a whole thing, and like the best case scenario is that they apologize profusely and I don't even want that I just want everyone to magically know my pronouns so I don't have to deal with it at all.

    And then lastly, what the heck is going on with my voice morpher such that it's not obvious to these people that I'm presenting female?

    (I do think they could place some emphasis in their summary or, like, Discord rules channel, on confirming pronouns with new members, and normalize putting it in guild notes in WoW and having roles for pronouns in their Discord server, but I'm getting the feeling that I'm one of very few trans people, if not the only active one in the guild?)

    Anyway they're doing a raid tonight and I don't want to go, partly because I'm nervous because I don't know the fights very well and I'm worried I'll fuck things up in an embarrassing way, but also because I super don't want to address how to make sure a party of 20+ all know my pronouns without awkwardly piping up like "HI HELLO YES I'M SHE/HER PLEASE OKAY THANK YOU".

    Fuck it I'm just going to post this without reading it back through to see if it's coherent, yolo

    vRyue2p.png
  • credeikicredeiki Registered User regular
    don't beat yourself up about it too much; it can be hard to do anything in the moment. I definitely don't always and then I grumble about it and obsess about it and feel crappy, hooray

    If you don't feel like addressing it directly:

    -put (she/her) in a server-specific discord name https://support.discord.com/hc/en-us/articles/219070107-Server-Nicknames
    -can you do something like that in WoW as well? I haven't played so idk how display names work.
    -discord PM "hey by the way I use she/her pronouns", don't need to address it out loud, usually this does not result in much of a conversation if you put it this way and do it over PM and not over voice

    man the other day the consultant guy who works on one of my projects and always uses male pronouns for me went "she--uh, he" when talking about me in a meeting, and ??? what do I even make of that, like what does that even mean ;_; probably only bad things (certainly I've been letting my voice do whatever recently during this project while I've been giving impassioned speeches about data quality)

    Steam, LoL: credeiki
    mysticjuicer
  • admanbadmanb unionize your workplace Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited May 9
    Anyway we did two whole dungeons without it coming up at all, and then on the last boss on the last dungeon I died very early, and while they were trying to find my body to rez, one of them was like "where's his body" and another answered "oh, he's at the top of the stairs". So I've been stewing about that for a few hours I guess.

    Ultimately what upsets me isn't the misgendering itself; it doesn't make me feel dysphoric or anything to be referred to with male pronouns. It's...basically everything else about it. First is how I handled it; namely, that I didn't. I didn't correct either of them, and the party disbanded after that dungeon so there were no further incidents. But like...if I can't speak up and correct people when they use the wrong pronouns for me, when it's this group? An explicitly queer guild, full of people who have been genuinely nice and helpful and welcoming? How the hell am I going to make myself say something when it comes from someone who's even just not-queer, much less anti-queer? Then the followup from that is...now it's a thing. If I want to keep playing with these people I'll have to address this at some point, and that's a whole thing, and like the best case scenario is that they apologize profusely and I don't even want that I just want everyone to magically know my pronouns so I don't have to deal with it at all.

    Is it possible they didn't actually know which character the Vee in voice chat was playing? It often takes me quite a while to connect a voice to an in-game character, and a lot of people don't use or pay attention to the Discord overlay. Then they just went with "default male" for your character.

    Which shouldn't be taken as justification for their mistake, but an encouragement to go back because it's likely not going to be a big deal to them.

    admanb on
  • Hi I'm Vee!Hi I'm Vee! Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C E Registered User regular
    credeiki wrote: »
    don't beat yourself up about it too much; it can be hard to do anything in the moment. I definitely don't always and then I grumble about it and obsess about it and feel crappy, hooray

    If you don't feel like addressing it directly:

    -put (she/her) in a server-specific discord name https://support.discord.com/hc/en-us/articles/219070107-Server-Nicknames
    -can you do something like that in WoW as well? I haven't played so idk how display names work.
    -discord PM "hey by the way I use she/her pronouns", don't need to address it out loud, usually this does not result in much of a conversation if you put it this way and do it over PM and not over voice

    man the other day the consultant guy who works on one of my projects and always uses male pronouns for me went "she--uh, he" when talking about me in a meeting, and ??? what do I even make of that, like what does that even mean ;_; probably only bad things (certainly I've been letting my voice do whatever recently during this project while I've been giving impassioned speeches about data quality)

    Yeah, so I already had she/her in my Guild Note, but it comes after the requisite format that everyone's note has, so depending on how you're viewing the window (and which UI addons you're using) it's easy for the pronoun part to get chopped off the end. And that's if they even check.

    I did go ahead and put it in my Discord nickname for the server. Literally only one person on the server has done that, with they/them. At least I'm not the only one, though.

    The problem with talking to them privately is that I actually don't know who said it! The guys in that party all sounded very similar, and honestly I'm not sure I could pick which four people out of the guild were in that party with me with 100% accuracy! Hopefully fixing it in my Discord name will solve the problem going forward for five-person groups; at that point they'll either have to look at my guild note or my Discord name to know what to call me, given that I'm new.
    admanb wrote: »
    Anyway we did two whole dungeons without it coming up at all, and then on the last boss on the last dungeon I died very early, and while they were trying to find my body to rez, one of them was like "where's his body" and another answered "oh, he's at the top of the stairs". So I've been stewing about that for a few hours I guess.

    Ultimately what upsets me isn't the misgendering itself; it doesn't make me feel dysphoric or anything to be referred to with male pronouns. It's...basically everything else about it. First is how I handled it; namely, that I didn't. I didn't correct either of them, and the party disbanded after that dungeon so there were no further incidents. But like...if I can't speak up and correct people when they use the wrong pronouns for me, when it's this group? An explicitly queer guild, full of people who have been genuinely nice and helpful and welcoming? How the hell am I going to make myself say something when it comes from someone who's even just not-queer, much less anti-queer? Then the followup from that is...now it's a thing. If I want to keep playing with these people I'll have to address this at some point, and that's a whole thing, and like the best case scenario is that they apologize profusely and I don't even want that I just want everyone to magically know my pronouns so I don't have to deal with it at all.

    Is it possible they didn't actually know which character the Vee in voice chat was playing? It often takes me quite a while to connect a voice to an in-game character, and a lot of people don't use or pay attention to the Discord overlay. Then they just went with "default male" for your character.

    Which shouldn't be taken as justification for their mistake, but an encouragement to go back because it's likely not going to be a big deal to them.

    Given the circumstances I'd say this is pretty much impossible, unfortunately. I was the only new person in a five-person group, in that situation I was also the only dead person, which I had established by updating them of my deceased status with a calm, professional voice. Plus all my WoW characters start with "Vee" and then I put something on the end like "Veezix" for my goblin.

    I mean, the other thing to consider is, it wasn't even my voice! It was the output of some software, so it's not even a commentary on my real voice?

    I dunno, we'll see what happens. Maybe they realized their mistake (the one person I played with a couple weeks ago might have told them after I left the voice channel, since he knew my pronouns from those runs) but are too wussy to apologize to me, which frankly is ideal, and everyone will pronoun me properly going forward without there ever having to be a confrontation of any kind!

    vRyue2p.png
  • Hi I'm Vee!Hi I'm Vee! Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C E Registered User regular
    Also I'm sorry that happened to you cred, especially with someone who's apparently been so good about your pronouns for an extended period of time.

    vRyue2p.png
  • InfamyDeferredInfamyDeferred Registered User regular
    "She, and yeah, I'm at the top of the stairs" is how I'd phrase it. By immediately redirecting back to the topic at hand it feels less like a confrontation and more like a correction. IDK if it's more effective, but it's easier for conflict-averse me and certainly more effective than saying nothing

    pimentoaStoryAboutYouZilla360Atomikatynic
  • Hi I'm Vee!Hi I'm Vee! Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C E Registered User regular
    "She, and yeah, I'm at the top of the stairs" is how I'd phrase it. By immediately redirecting back to the topic at hand it feels less like a confrontation and more like a correction. IDK if it's more effective, but it's easier for conflict-averse me and certainly more effective than saying nothing

    Yeah that makes sense. I have a very strong aversion to confrontation, and it's difficult to overcome that instinct in the moment.

    But I guess I'm going to have train myself to do that.

    vRyue2p.png
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