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QUILTBAG: It’s Pride Time

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Posts

  • JragghenJragghen Registered User regular
    So Sacramento's been having some infuriating times this year.

    First off, there was a bar which booked Adam Calhoun and Demun Jones, a "hick hop" duo with anti-gay songs, on the weekend of pride parade. This obviously caused a stir, with a number of regular acts going "fuck this, we're done." The obvious happens and the act is cancelled (although they said they're coming to town anyway, so I half expected some fans to try to start something, but I haven't heard anything in the news so I'm guessing anyone who tried to start anything was just summarily made fun of/situation defused).

    None of the above surprised me, honestly (other than the owners claiming they didn't realize it was pride parade weekend when...Come the fuck on).

    However, the bigger news was with regards to the parade itself. So we won't even touch on the history of law enforcement with QUILTBAG folks - everyone here I'm sure knows it better than I do. The parade was originally going to allow for LGBTQ officers to march in-uniform. Some folks in the community spoke out about not being comfortable, they were dis-invited - still welcome to march, but not in uniform. This was the action which brought mainstream exposure. Sacramento LGBT Community Center spoke with the police, reversed the decision and re-invited them, but the police would also form an LGBTQ community outreach panel, as well as additional training for dealing with implicit bias, etc. Then today, protestors unhappy with the decision to allow it held up both the parade and entrances to the festival.

    So that was a thing :/ Not sure if that'll percolate up to national news or not.

  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    now wracking my brains trying to remember which piss-addled wazzock had that whole article in the UK press bemoaning that "gays" had "stolen the rainbow".
    ... or I'll just go on assuming it was a paranoid homophobic leprechaun

    I love how frequently homophobic/transphobic rhetoric winds up making us sound badass and "gays stole the rainbow from god" is straight up mythical

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

    tynicFencingsaxLabelJedocSorce3cl1ps3ApocalyptusShadowenVeldrinkimeZilla360mysticjuicerBlameless ClericOut Of ContextJoolander
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    gpir3juitdoz.jpg

    Happy Pride, y'all. My pan/bi pride scarf keeping me warm this morning.

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  • 3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    now wracking my brains trying to remember which piss-addled wazzock had that whole article in the UK press bemoaning that "gays" had "stolen the rainbow".
    ... or I'll just go on assuming it was a paranoid homophobic leprechaun

    I love how frequently homophobic/transphobic rhetoric winds up making us sound badass and "gays stole the rainbow from god" is straight up mythical

    As Promotheus stole fire, The Gays stole the rainbow.

    tynicOmnipotentBagelSeidkonaStericaElldrenErin The RedpimentoZonugalApocalyptusShadowenLucedesnever dieSorceMunkus BeaverAndy JoeGoatmonwanderingVeldrinTankHammerFoolOnTheHillToxZilla360mysticjuicerBlameless Cleric
  • LalaboxLalabox Registered User regular
    hey i like kissing my boyfriends its good

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  • GoatmonGoatmon Property of Amara_P Registered User regular
    edited June 2019
    Goatmon on
    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


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  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    I don't know who Halsey is, but I legit just teared up watching that video.

  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    edited June 2019
    .

    Platy on
  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited June 2019
    I was on my Ghostbuster anniversary trip this weekend and made sure I was sporting my rainbow Ghostbuster pin and two smaller Star Wars pins with the pansexual and trans pride flags, which got me a hug and a "Happy Pride buddy!" from one of the main Chicago guys there <3. I also got legit flirted at a couple times which still has me walking on air a little. This isn't the place for a report on the con so I'll leave it at that. Santa Monica was doing some Pride-related festivities Sunday though and that was really nice.

    While I was gone my boss was doing some updating to our client database and my friend/coworker excitedly let me know that he added a nonbinary gender option as well.
    LlffFH1.jpg
    As far as bosses go, he's a very sweet and well-meaning guy and it made me happy to see. He even put a little rainbow flag next to it for the icon (since he didn't have a nonbinary person emoji).

    TankHammer on
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  • TubeTube Registered User admin
    Hobnail wrote: »
    This forum has taken everything from me
    This hurts but I deserve it

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  • SeidkonaSeidkona Had an upgrade Registered User regular
    I am tired of being the one that moves.

    Mostly just huntin' monsters.
    XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
    tynicShadowenBrodymysticjuicer
  • TubeTube Registered User admin
    It’s pretty messed up, but Twitter will genuinely ban you for using the word terf.

    Hobnail wrote: »
    This forum has taken everything from me
    This hurts but I deserve it

    SeidkonaShadowenknitdan3cl1ps3Andy Joe
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    it's a self-generated descriptor! I remember when people started using it, they chose it as a term! No part of it is a slur!

    FFS

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  • 3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    It's almost like they're disingenuous pieces of shit who stand for nothing.

    Andy JoemysticjuicerMulletude
  • jaziekjaziek Registered User regular
    Oh they stand for plenty. None of it good.

    Steam ||| SC2 - Jaziek.377 on EU & NA. ||| Twitch Stream
    PsykomaSeidkonaElldren2 Marcus 2 RavensFencingsaxShadowenJaysonFourZilla360Sweeney Tommysticjuicer
  • 2 Marcus 2 Ravens2 Marcus 2 Ravens Registered User regular
    I don’t want to take up too much space in this thread, but I selfishly want to tell someone, just not friends or family. Anyway, I guess I just came out to my wife as pansexual?

    Like, that’s a thing I can do, right? Feels weird! But good. She was great and happy about it.

    I don’t think it’ll really change our lives very much. She’s asexual and is encouraging me explore that side of myself, but while I’m not asexual, I’m not very sexual, and am probably fine just being more honest with myself.

    PsykomaRhesus PositiveFencingsaxJedocpookalonelyahavaBrodyVyolyncetzeentchlingGrogOne Thousand CablesCambiataKayne Red RobeShadowenOmnipotentBagelLucedesKetardavidsdurionsApocalyptusFleur de AlysDonovan PuppyfuckerpimentocredeikiLabelwanderingWyvernLiiyaSeidkonaElldrenJaysonFourZilla360aStoryAboutYouMcFodderToxSatanic Jesus3cl1ps3JansonFoolOnTheHillnever dieSweeney TomAllyxiaVeldrinmysticjuicerToxic ToysShortyErin The RedAnialosBear_thescond
  • pimentopimento she/they/pim Registered User regular
  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    I've started the process to change my name over at work. I think I should have a new name badge by tomorrow, assuming the manager who's dealing with it is working then. Getting payroll and everything updated means bringing in my new passport which I am still waiting for, it was supposed to get to me 10 days ago but I guess maybe the system is being fucked thanks to brexit.

    I couldn't think of a good way to tell everyone at work so I'm just going with... not. They can figure it out for themselves, I'm sure.

    Then I think I'm basically done with name stuff. I want to get my uni / school certificates reissued but that will cost money so I'll tackle it at some point.

    I still have to tell some of my acquaintances. Maybe I'll do a Facebook thing.

    Rhesus PositiveTcheldorBrodyaStoryAboutYouOmnipotentBagelpimentoNeurotikaLabelPlatyElldren3cl1ps3Donovan PuppyfuckerFleur de AlystzeentchlingSeidkonalonelyahavaN1tSt4lkerShadowenApocalyptusnever diewanderingPsykomaOne Thousand CablesButlerpookaFencingsaxAllyxiatynicLucedesVeldrinLiiyaAngelinaSorceSporkAndrew2 Marcus 2 RavensmysticjuicerCurly_BraceErin The RedVivixenneMsAnthropykimeAnialosTankHammer
  • SeidkonaSeidkona Had an upgrade Registered User regular
    edited June 2019
    One way to feel awesome?

    Have your wife say "Wow. Your breasts are starting to grow!"

    Seidkona on
    Mostly just huntin' monsters.
    XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
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  • Satanic JesusSatanic Jesus Hi, I'm Liam! Registered User regular
    I went to my first pride (well, afterparty really!) in Essex! It was so much fun! Lots of music and dancing, and people giving free hugs.

    my backloggery 3DS: 0533-5338-5186 steam: porcelain_cow goodreads
    ShadowenSeidkonaJansonJedocwanderingpimentoApocalyptusGundiFencingsaxlonelyahavaN1tSt4lkercredeikiRhesus PositivetzeentchlingSorcemysticjuicerFleur de Alysnever dieErin The RedTankHammer
  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    I don’t know why I hadn’t come across it before, but I recently read about different types of attraction (link leads to an article about the different kinds) and I realized that I only experience emotional and/or aesthetic attraction. So at this point I am pretty happy to define myself as ace and aro and it feels good to have the vocabulary for it.

    Also I have been chatting again to the woman I went on a sort-of date with (it was just coffee!) last year, and am going to pride with her at the end of the month.

    ButlerSeidkonaMorivethShadowenpimentoFencingsaxDesert LeviathanBrodyAllyxiaMcFodderRhesus PositivetzeentchlingwanderingSorcemysticjuicerFleur de Alysnever dieErin The RedMsAnthropyFoolOnTheHillAnialosCalica
  • ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    I don’t want to take up too much space in this thread, but I selfishly want to tell someone, just not friends or family. Anyway, I guess I just came out to my wife as pansexual?

    Like, that’s a thing I can do, right? Feels weird! But good. She was great and happy about it.

    I don’t think it’ll really change our lives very much. She’s asexual and is encouraging me explore that side of myself, but while I’m not asexual, I’m not very sexual, and am probably fine just being more honest with myself.

    Hey

    Proud of you :bro:

    2 Marcus 2 RavensShadowenFencingsaxBrodytzeentchlingSorcemysticjuicerCurly_Bracenever die3cl1ps3
  • TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas.Registered User regular
    Did I already pop my hetero white ass I n here to wish everyone a happy pride? I hope I have already, but I probably didn't because I am a jerk.

    HAPPY PRIDE NERDS.

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  • 2 Marcus 2 Ravens2 Marcus 2 Ravens Registered User regular
    Tox wrote: »
    I don’t want to take up too much space in this thread, but I selfishly want to tell someone, just not friends or family. Anyway, I guess I just came out to my wife as pansexual?

    Like, that’s a thing I can do, right? Feels weird! But good. She was great and happy about it.

    I don’t think it’ll really change our lives very much. She’s asexual and is encouraging me explore that side of myself, but while I’m not asexual, I’m not very sexual, and am probably fine just being more honest with myself.

    Hey

    Proud of you :bro:

    So this just made me cry.

    In a good way, to be clear.

    ShadowenFencingsaxAllyxiawanderingpimentomysticjuicerSeidkonaSorcenever dieTox
  • Indie WinterIndie Winter die Krähe Rudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered User regular
    hello thread. This seems like a nice story to share.

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  • LabelLabel Registered User regular
    I hope they last.

    Fencingsaxpimento3cl1ps3ShortySeidkonaPoketpixieJaysonFour
  • SeidkonaSeidkona Had an upgrade Registered User regular
    edited June 2019
    Wow those Trans conversations sure are loaded, huh?

    CW: a decent amount of talk about TERFy bullshit. Author is not a TERF but some people in the article are.

    Seidkona on
    Mostly just huntin' monsters.
    XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
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  • aStoryAboutYouaStoryAboutYou Registered User regular
    edited June 2019
    I absolutely lost it at this response:

    aStoryAboutYou on
    oWv6S12.gif
    Shadowen3cl1ps3credeikimilskiFencingsaxCambiataLucedeswandering
  • 3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    Independent of all the other wonderful stuff in that article, seeing her finally feel empowered to truly understand that yes, it's okay to just want things because you want them, did my heart good.

    Sweeney TomFencingsaxtzeentchlingCambiataApocalyptusN1tSt4lkerCurly_BraceErin The RedLucedespimentoMcFoddernever die
  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy The Astral PlaneRegistered User regular
    That was a great read, and I absolutely lost it at this response:


    hmm yes this is correct

    Elki wrote: »

    Casual Eddy: best poster 2014.
    tyrannus wrote: »
    Casual Eddy: best poster of 2015

    gotta update that stuff man
    ShortytynicCelloCambiataFencingsaxSporkAndrewwandering
  • credeikicredeiki Registered User regular
    Sigh was just in an elevator with two firm partners and the one who I know introduced me to the head of Strategy and Analytics as ‘she’ and I did not make a good impression as I grimaced a bit and devoted 70% of my mental cycles to if I should correct him in the moment or later.

    Love being on T for basically a whole year and not reading as male at all! Fabulous, fantastic, totally great, worth getting divorced for, the works. Love having my professionalism compromised by a fundamental uncertainty in my gender presentation.

    I did not correct him in the moment but I will send an email when I get home I suppose saying
    “Hi [partner],
    Nice running into you today. FYI—I use male pronouns. I’m actually giving a presentation on trans and non-binary identities in the workplace next Monday if you’re interested [link to invite].
    Thanks,
    [credeiki]”

    Ok, well, time for dinner and videogames so I try not to get too thrown off by this because I do not need to wallow in how this sort of encounter makes me feel.

    Steam, LoL: credeiki
    mysticjuicerMsAnthropyJaysonFourCasual Eddy
  • credeikicredeiki Registered User regular
    Oh yea and because people in this thread can’t read my voice usually, when I say ‘love’, above, I am being sarcastic, and actually this makes me very upset. To be clear.
    And for context, this partner guy has known me at a distance for several months and has had a couple conversations with me, but clearly his mind simply could not retain that I use male pronouns because my presentation is so bad, although I am trying my best. I know he is not being malicious or purposeful about it.

    Steam, LoL: credeiki
  • PsykomaPsykoma Registered User regular
    That's a more diplomatic resolution than I think I could manage. Well done.

    Vyolynce3cl1ps3CelloInfamyDeferredApocalyptusCurly_BraceFencingsaxToxElbasunuJaysonFour
  • SeidkonaSeidkona Had an upgrade Registered User regular
    Went to pick up my Spiro today.

    The pharmacist comes over and asks the tech; "Does he need any counceling on the meds?"

    The tech responds: "No SHE doesn't." Emphasis on the she.

    Then me and the tech talked about her hard day.

    It was very kind.

    Mostly just huntin' monsters.
    XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
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  • Phoenix-DPhoenix-D Registered User regular
    Dear hot flashes: get fuuuuuucked

    (Pharmacy ran out of E a while back and I'm still getting my levels reset)

    Grog
  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    Entaru wrote: »
    Went to pick up my Spiro today.

    The pharmacist comes over and asks the tech; "Does he need any counceling on the meds?"

    The tech responds: "No SHE doesn't." Emphasis on the she.

    Then me and the tech talked about her hard day.

    It was very kind.

    One of the pharmacy techs where I go memorized my name, like, immediately, and would always make a point of greeting me by name every time I came by because my prescription was under my old name and not everyone there reliably used the "preferred name" on the scrip. Those little things can really make a difference.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

    SeidkonaKayne Red RobemysticjuicerBrodyMcFoddertynicElldrenN1tSt4lkerApocalyptusLabeltzeentchling3cl1ps3Curly_BracepimentoFencingsaxVeldrinShadowenDonovan PuppyfuckerAngelinaMsAnthropyaStoryAboutYouJaysonFournever diewanderingCalica
  • credeikicredeiki Registered User regular
    Psykoma wrote: »
    That's a more diplomatic resolution than I think I could manage. Well done.

    Thanks; I have gotten good at sending these businessy emails, and used to 'oh hey actually I use male pronouns' as an addendum to almost every new conversation. It's just...ugh, this partner knows me! Or I thought he did.

    I fucking hate how much of my identity and feelings I have to sanitize in order to have my job. let's pretend it isn't the fucking worst to have to correct someone to whom you need to come across as a technical expert on your pronouns multiple times a week just in the middle of your work day. 'Yeah of course no problem, I know it's hard to tell haha' as if that doesn't just rend me every time.

    We had to submit our panel to 'risk'--people who assess whether it's appropriate for a corporate setting. We had to get our partner advocate to convince risk to allow us to use the image of the 'genderbread person' because it included the word sex. We're fucking explaining the concept of gender identity and how it isn't the same thing as biological sex!
    They also removed, in our one panel question "how do you practice self-care given the state of the world today" the "given the state of the world today" because *god forbid* we mention anything about how we're being legally discriminated against as we speak, not to mention murdered, because that might be political. I'm just livid. The guy helping organize the panel--gay cis dude, fantastic trans ally, doing a lot of the emotional labor and organizational heavy lifting--was like 'ok so this is what we have on the slides that risk approved but to be clear, what we say is another matter'. One of our people's personal story is literally about getting discharged from the army for being trans after being a westpoint grad! It's gonna be political and risk will fucking deal.

    I wish this didn't bother me so much. It's been a few hours and I'm still just really angry at everything; rationally, I know I am trying my best and I actually really like how I look! But gender is a social construct and very much about how other people interact with you and I think I feel very...erased or canceled when people don't read me the way I want. I don't know exactly how it makes me feel, other than angry (...which isn't useful, but has always been my default emotional response to anything unpleasant.)

    And I'm supposed to come up with a 5 minute spiel explaining the genderbread person/concept of gender identity, expression, biological sex, romantic attraction orientation, sexual orientation, etc before COB tomorrow so they have a copy of my 'talking points' but I am super not in the mood for it at the moment (also I could talk for like...5 hours on this, so it's sort of hard to condense it.)

    Steam, LoL: credeiki
  • Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    8 days and 9 hours until surgery. Been off HRT for like... A week and two days? And have had a headache for every one of those days minus the first one.

    Super fun!

    Also I was gonna write letters to people in case I don't wake up from surgery like someone recommended, but then I started doing that and ended up spending my morning crying at work and made my headache worse! Then I decided "hey fuck that noise. I'm just gonna say all the things to people when I talk to them." So I've been doing that and it's been way better.

    So hey, thanks everyone. You mean a lot to me and this place was supportive and good and kind and funny and it's meant a lot. I know I don't visit here as much as I used to, but if people ever wanna talk one on one I can give you my Twitter or discord info or something.

    <3

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  • GrogGrog My sword is only steel in a useful shape.Registered User regular
    credeiki wrote: »
    Psykoma wrote: »
    That's a more diplomatic resolution than I think I could manage. Well done.

    Thanks; I have gotten good at sending these businessy emails, and used to 'oh hey actually I use male pronouns' as an addendum to almost every new conversation. It's just...ugh, this partner knows me! Or I thought he did.

    I fucking hate how much of my identity and feelings I have to sanitize in order to have my job. let's pretend it isn't the fucking worst to have to correct someone to whom you need to come across as a technical expert on your pronouns multiple times a week just in the middle of your work day. 'Yeah of course no problem, I know it's hard to tell haha' as if that doesn't just rend me every time.

    We had to submit our panel to 'risk'--people who assess whether it's appropriate for a corporate setting. We had to get our partner advocate to convince risk to allow us to use the image of the 'genderbread person' because it included the word sex. We're fucking explaining the concept of gender identity and how it isn't the same thing as biological sex!
    They also removed, in our one panel question "how do you practice self-care given the state of the world today" the "given the state of the world today" because *god forbid* we mention anything about how we're being legally discriminated against as we speak, not to mention murdered, because that might be political. I'm just livid. The guy helping organize the panel--gay cis dude, fantastic trans ally, doing a lot of the emotional labor and organizational heavy lifting--was like 'ok so this is what we have on the slides that risk approved but to be clear, what we say is another matter'. One of our people's personal story is literally about getting discharged from the army for being trans after being a westpoint grad! It's gonna be political and risk will fucking deal.


    I wish this didn't bother me so much. It's been a few hours and I'm still just really angry at everything; rationally, I know I am trying my best and I actually really like how I look! But gender is a social construct and very much about how other people interact with you and I think I feel very...erased or canceled when people don't read me the way I want. I don't know exactly how it makes me feel, other than angry (...which isn't useful, but has always been my default emotional response to anything unpleasant.)

    And I'm supposed to come up with a 5 minute spiel explaining the genderbread person/concept of gender identity, expression, biological sex, romantic attraction orientation, sexual orientation, etc before COB tomorrow so they have a copy of my 'talking points' but I am super not in the mood for it at the moment (also I could talk for like...5 hours on this, so it's sort of hard to condense it.)

    Fuck all of this, but fuck this in particular. People want to act like we're equal when our existence has to be approved by a goddamn panel.

    I get the same anger response and I agree it's extremely difficult to channel that into anything else.

    Sweeney TomCambiatacredeiki3cl1ps3PoketpixieElldrenFleur de Alys
This discussion has been closed.