I had a very good presentation at the Out and Equal Summit. Many people cis and trans told us it was good (about 120 people came to it). It was about best practices for trans inclusion and visibility in the workplace, and it was pitched at fortune 1000 companies— big, primarily white collar corporations—so not everything is universally applicable. We mixed personal storytelling and trans education (I am the person who explains that gender identity is not gender presentation is not anatomical sex is not sexual or romantic orientation and all of these things can be a lot or a little and male or female or both or neither; and then I had to explain my gender identity and story to a whole room full of people which is a useful thing for me to practice doing; also we did a lot of special attention to the concept of being nb cause L. and I super care about that) with actionable advice and directions (bring in trans speakers or have people from your organization talk! Use gender-neutral language! Make sure your company’s transition policy recognizes that there are many way to transition! Here is how to be an ‘active ally’! Etc)
Someone from the national center from transgender equality especially liked our presentation and talked to me after and that was p cool cause she does this sort of thing professionally!
I also got to go to a roundtable that was only trans masc and trans male people, and that was really interesting and unique and positive for me. It was like 30 guys and it was so cool cause when else do I interact with people in my demographic—literally never.
Having to do this in a corporate setting is definitely weird, but here’s the thing:
1. I’m not independently wealthy so I need to work to support myself, and I spent 40+ hours at work every week, so it’s an important part of my life
2. It’s an important part of many people’s lives so we should make sure it’s a good place to be trans.
3. My workplace grants me more explicit protections than the state or country I work in. It’s bad that this is the case but I would rather have rights from my employer than from no one at all.
4. As soon as you talk one on one with anyone and they drop their guide you realize everyone there is just trying to do the best they can and also is often pretty anti-corporate and a little baffled at how they ended up there, and people are so fun to talk to.
I basically only hung out with trans people the whole 4 days which was awesome. Met this amazing nb consultant from another office who not dissimilarly to the hot nb consultant from the other other office is just covered in tattoos and has this excellent aura of subversion under a thin veneer of business competence. I mean also “I thought I couldn’t be trans for a decade because all the trans guys I saw were bros and I’m a goth.” A m a z i n g so yeah we just talked and drank for literally 4 days straight and it was great
Also MsAnthropy i saw your company there (if I remember correctly who it is) and you should go next time if you can!
@credeiki Our contingent are mostly members of the affinity network leadership or recruiters. I’ve been encouraged by a few of the current affinity network leaders to run to replace them in the elections happening later this year, so I may* be going as part of my actual job next year!
* Don’t really expect to win, but stranger things have happened.
Oh no I agreed to let my company profile me as one of a couple of trans consultants for a piece they will put out for transgender day of rememberance (which will have an explanation of the day and then a piece about ‘here are some trans people at the company’). Hopefully I balanced correctly between ‘this can be a struggle so be sensitive to that’ and ‘I am your normal coworker and expect to be treated as such and this is not the most interesting thing about me’ and ‘for a lot of people this is a life and death thing and let’s stop pretending that transphobia is an edgy thing we can do to signal our political affiliation and recognize instead that people are being murdered and that is unacceptable’.
Fortunately I was explicitly told that I and the other person are not expected to ‘speak for the community’ but also it’s like eek I’m being expected to speak for my community
I do get oversight over what is printed so I’ll have the opportunity to make sure that I’m not misrepresented and that the message about remembrance comes through strongly
Guys I'm bi (ok yeah coming out for the first time ever, but genuinely nbd) one of my best male friends is getting over a cold and his voice is mega gravely and like hot dang every syllable is hypnotizing me with it's hotness holy cow.
I’m very much aromantic and probably gray-sexual (identifying as asexual seems like a misnomer when I enjoy sex but in terms of attraction I have pretty much only experienced aesthetic attraction), so I really enjoyed ace week and all the memes and blog posts it produced!
(Also I have written, deleted and then rewritten this post a half dozen times this past week because it still feels a little odd to talk about but I guess that’s the point of ace week, to include ace identities more in this type of conversation? And I also feel weird about how I identify when I’m married, but I also know what a relief it felt to learn about aromanticism/the different types of attraction and realize that it applied to me).
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tzeentchlingDoctor of RocksOaklandRegistered Userregular
Saturday I took a picture that I really liked. Felt super femme and actually cute. Then yesterday I felt dysphoric about it, noticing every tiny "masculine" detail and just hating it. Now today I'm back to loving it again, and it's helping a lot with starting a new incognito week presenting with fake persona - I just glance at it to reconnect to myself and keep the dissonant depression at bay.
Anyway I love it mostly for the new hair with bangs that I just adore and it's black and purple and I'm feeling pretty great right now. Hi wonderful people of this thread! You're great.
Triptycho: A card-and-dice tabletop indie RPG currently in development and playtesting
I guess I must radiate powerful trans energy because even though I'm still super in the closet in public I overheard some of my lady coworkers saying I was "just one of the girls."
Man, my voice does not sounds sexy at all when I lose it (which is often unfortunately).
It’s more like the last croak of a person dying of thirst tbh.
I got the gravely voice thing after having pneumonia. The guys at work all insisted that I sounded like Scarlett Johansson.
One of them had me call his girlfriend to talk. The other one wanted to record my voice so he could listen to it later.
Yes they were both creepy.
Gotta go all Dark Knight on 'em
Considering that the one who wanted to record me was a huge Dark Knight fanboy for all the wrong reasons, I do not think this would have gone well for me.
I got the gravely voice thing after having pneumonia. The guys at work all insisted that I sounded like Scarlett Johansson.
One of them had me call his girlfriend to talk. The other one wanted to record my voice so he could listen to it later.
Yes they were both creepy.
Gotta go all Dark Knight on 'em
Considering that the one who wanted to record me was a huge Dark Knight fanboy for all the wrong reasons, I do not think this would have gone well for me.
Sometimes my youth and my current self collide head on in an internally violent manner. I wonder what my future self twenty years from now will think about this, right now I’m having a hearty chuckle:
I got the gravely voice thing after having pneumonia. The guys at work all insisted that I sounded like Scarlett Johansson.
One of them had me call his girlfriend to talk. The other one wanted to record my voice so he could listen to it later.
Yes they were both creepy.
Gotta go all Dark Knight on 'em
Considering that the one who wanted to record me was a huge Dark Knight fanboy for all the wrong reasons, I do not think this would have gone well for me.
:bigfrown:
Actually, can I change my answer to this? I have a better one.
Arguing with my sister on Facebook about her shitty transphobic ideas. That'll be productive. (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
Thanks though. I mean. It means a lot to me that you are willing to do that.
I appreciate you saying this while also feeling uncomfortable to be thanked for what should be baseline humanity.
I think as far as my other siblings go, my arguments would not compel them to change their minds or even think about the topic for more than 5 seconds. My nieces and nephews, though. They might be brought to reconsider things. Especially that particular sister's kids. I have always been the "cool" auntie, and her kids adore me. Her oldest daughter has already started her liberal rebellion without me, her other kids I don't know about.
"If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
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CambiataCommander ShepardThe likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered Userregular
edited October 2019
Ok yeah I seriously need to bow out of that conversation because trying to discuss anything real and important with family members always, always leaves me depressed and angry.
I'll let this be my final comment to her and will ignore that Facebook thread from now on.
[Sister], I do indeed want all women to be protected. All women. That label includes beautiful women and ugly women, slender women and fat women, butch women and delicate women, women engineers, women artists, stay at home moms, and everyone in between. Which is exactly why we disagree. You think some women shouldn't be protected; I think they still should, especially when they are already a highly at-risk population.
29.9 percent of teenage trans women attempt suicide. Trans women are high targets of rape and murder (yes, even higher than cis women, and you know cis women are high targets of those crimes, too!) I don't think you need to be mad at the great advantage it is to be a trans woman in this world. I don't think you need to be thinking about how to punish these women or take something away from them because you perceive them to have too much already.
Edit: Even though I told Facebook to mute notifications on it I still checked her reply because I hate myself. (ノ°Д°）ノ︵ ┻━┻
I'll say here what I can't and won't say anywhere else. Fuck that cunt.
Cambiata on
"If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
I'll be honest and say I don't think public online arguments with assholes are actually effective at changing anyone's minds online. I think the only real effect it has is giving the asshole spouting hateful bullshit a potentially bigger audience. Both because of human psychology and because of the nature of how online social infrastructure has been set up (i.e. not well and with dubious intentions) I think if you actively confront bigots on those social media sites they are going to be statistically more likely spread their message to third party observers than you.
I personally think the better strategy is to do what you can to censor the persons in question in regards to you so that your online presence doesn't serve to in any way give exposure to their views. (Of course if someone is dedicated to harassing you this basically won't work at all because companies are awful.) Instead bypass the shitheads and reach out directly to the people you want to try and influence in more positive ways.
Ultimately I don't it's that big a deal in terms of signal boosting hate, online infrastructure does that mostly on its own, but more in that I don't think it's actually super constructive and will probably just create mental stress for you with no sort of positive benefit. That's just my two cents though, and if you can stomach toxicity to the point that you actually get some bigots to have some bad days online, more power to you.
I’ve actually learned a lot myself from reading other people’s arguments, and I’ve heard others say the same, too!
In fact, quite often if my original view aligned somewhat with the asshole, then their assholish behaviour turned me off my own view and helped me see the other person’s side even more clearly.
It also signals to anyone listening that you are a safe person to talk to or seek help from.
That was my thought
I don't think I have any characteristics that make me a target, but if somebody in my feed started running their mouth about how I was undeserving of legal protection or basic human decency, having somebody stick up for me in response would make me feel less alone
Posts
@credeiki Our contingent are mostly members of the affinity network leadership or recruiters. I’ve been encouraged by a few of the current affinity network leaders to run to replace them in the elections happening later this year, so I may* be going as part of my actual job next year!
* Don’t really expect to win, but stranger things have happened.
"The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby
One thing that I am noticing a lot more is how little people stared at me in the Bay Area vs here.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
I am so not looking forward to being in the Midwest for the holidays this year.
"The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby
Fortunately I was explicitly told that I and the other person are not expected to ‘speak for the community’ but also it’s like eek I’m being expected to speak for my community
I do get oversight over what is printed so I’ll have the opportunity to make sure that I’m not misrepresented and that the message about remembrance comes through strongly
SIXTEEN SHELLS FROM A 30-06 and then any attractiveness my sickvoice may have accrued is shattered in the moment of unhinged screamsinging
Maybe.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
That way you get the hot sicknesses voice
And the sexy cycle continues
Just payin' my rent every day *hack hack*
edit: is this in poor taste, actually? i just remembered he passed
The sickness needs us to live
I like to do a Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget impression, but I don’t actually need to be sick to pull it off.
"The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby
(Also I have written, deleted and then rewritten this post a half dozen times this past week because it still feels a little odd to talk about but I guess that’s the point of ace week, to include ace identities more in this type of conversation? And I also feel weird about how I identify when I’m married, but I also know what a relief it felt to learn about aromanticism/the different types of attraction and realize that it applied to me).
I like to do Barry White.
"We got it together, didn't we?"
Saturday I took a picture that I really liked. Felt super femme and actually cute. Then yesterday I felt dysphoric about it, noticing every tiny "masculine" detail and just hating it. Now today I'm back to loving it again, and it's helping a lot with starting a new incognito week presenting with fake persona - I just glance at it to reconnect to myself and keep the dissonant depression at bay.
Anyway I love it mostly for the new hair with bangs that I just adore and it's black and purple and I'm feeling pretty great right now. Hi wonderful people of this thread! You're great.
My partners aren't turned on so much as just giving me that "I married a crazy person" look.
Steam: TheArcadeBear
One of them had me call his girlfriend to talk. The other one wanted to record my voice so he could listen to it later.
Yes they were both creepy.
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
It’s more like the last croak of a person dying of thirst tbh.
Gotta go all Dark Knight on 'em
Considering that the one who wanted to record me was a huge Dark Knight fanboy for all the wrong reasons, I do not think this would have gone well for me.
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
:bigfrown:
Actually, can I change my answer to this? I have a better one.
*clears throat*
Gotta actually go all Dark Knight on 'em
Gross. ..
Thanks though. I mean. It means a lot to me that you are willing to do that.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
You might cause some spectators to examine their attitudes, if nothing else
I appreciate you saying this while also feeling uncomfortable to be thanked for what should be baseline humanity.
I think as far as my other siblings go, my arguments would not compel them to change their minds or even think about the topic for more than 5 seconds. My nieces and nephews, though. They might be brought to reconsider things. Especially that particular sister's kids. I have always been the "cool" auntie, and her kids adore me. Her oldest daughter has already started her liberal rebellion without me, her other kids I don't know about.
I'll let this be my final comment to her and will ignore that Facebook thread from now on.
Edit: Even though I told Facebook to mute notifications on it I still checked her reply because I hate myself. (ノ°Д°）ノ︵ ┻━┻
I'll say here what I can't and won't say anywhere else. Fuck that cunt.
This. When I argue with bigots I don't really hold out much hope they'll change their mind but I might reach those who are listening.
I personally think the better strategy is to do what you can to censor the persons in question in regards to you so that your online presence doesn't serve to in any way give exposure to their views. (Of course if someone is dedicated to harassing you this basically won't work at all because companies are awful.) Instead bypass the shitheads and reach out directly to the people you want to try and influence in more positive ways.
Ultimately I don't it's that big a deal in terms of signal boosting hate, online infrastructure does that mostly on its own, but more in that I don't think it's actually super constructive and will probably just create mental stress for you with no sort of positive benefit. That's just my two cents though, and if you can stomach toxicity to the point that you actually get some bigots to have some bad days online, more power to you.
In fact, quite often if my original view aligned somewhat with the asshole, then their assholish behaviour turned me off my own view and helped me see the other person’s side even more clearly.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
That was my thought
I don't think I have any characteristics that make me a target, but if somebody in my feed started running their mouth about how I was undeserving of legal protection or basic human decency, having somebody stick up for me in response would make me feel less alone