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Posts

  • GrogGrog My sword is only steel in a useful shape.Registered User regular
    edited November 27
    -Tal wrote: »
    Tox wrote: »
    -Tal wrote: »
    I wish those groups would just say "everyone but cis men" instead of playing word games

    As a pan cis dude, this makes me feel bad and excluded!

    ...but as a straight-presenting, white cis dude, I 100% get it.

    Well if it makes you feel any better the only reason the women's lgbtq group lets in trans men and nonbinary people is they consider them to be women with an asterisk

    Sure there are some groups like that, but it's disingenuous to say that all such groups see it that way or that some trans men and nonbinary people don't want to be included regardless of the groups intentions.
    Inclusivity isn't inherently indicative of shitty politics. Doesn't rule it out either, but still.

    Grog on
    o88o9jno9kqg.png
    MsAnthropyElldrenCurly_BraceApocalyptusToxErin The Rednever diecredeiki
  • The Hanged ManThe Hanged Man Once I ate a pizza so big, they gave me a prize. Then I threw up and they took it back.Registered User regular
    So Utah is in process to become the 19th state to ban Conversion Therapy for minors. If everything stays on track, and it very much looks like it will, the ban will go into effect this upcoming January. It could be better - it should be a blanket ban regardless of patient age on a provably ineffective, harmful, and fraudulent medical practice. And general conditions are still dog shit, especially where it comes to our shamefully huge population of homeless LGBTQ youth. But it's a positive step, and for right now I'm going to choose to be more happy about it than I am angry about how far we still have left to go. Just to take a rage break, you know?

    11YZDMW.png
    FencingsaxZilla360Kayne Red RobekimeToxSeidkonaRhesus PositiveLucedestzeentchlingLord Palingtonchrishallett83The SauceShadowenElldrenCurly_BraceBahamutZEROLabelpimentopainfulPleasanceApocalyptusSorceCalicaAnialosErin The RedStiltsnever dieJaysonFourWeedLordVegetaYamiB.Andy JoeTankHammer
  • MsAnthropyMsAnthropy Our Lady of Perpetual Mazes The CageRegistered User regular
    Grog wrote: »
    -Tal wrote: »
    Tox wrote: »
    -Tal wrote: »
    I wish those groups would just say "everyone but cis men" instead of playing word games

    As a pan cis dude, this makes me feel bad and excluded!

    ...but as a straight-presenting, white cis dude, I 100% get it.

    Well if it makes you feel any better the only reason the women's lgbtq group lets in trans men and nonbinary people is they consider them to be women with an asterisk

    Sure there are some groups like that, but it's disingenuous to say that all such groups see it that way or that some trans men and nonbinary people don't want to be included regardless of the groups intentions.
    Inclusivity isn't inherently indicative of shitty politics. Doesn't rule it out either, but still.

    Yeah, I’ve always taken most of this kind of thing in line of what Brovid said. Can especially see groups not wanting to boot members who previously identified as lesbian who have realized they are actually trans masc or non-binary. That said, it is one of those messy things that sends conflicting messages that disrespect people’s actual identities, and I wish we had better language around it.

    "The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby
    mysticjuicerElldrenThe Sauce
  • -Tal-Tal Registered User regular
    The language around it is actually really easy! Just be clear about the boundaries of the space. If it's not a space just for lgbtq women, it's, at best, confusing to call it a lgbtq women's space. Just call it a broader lgbtq space but no cis men allowed, it's fine, it's okay to make that specific exclusion.

    2vue7ao.png
    Grog3clipseSeidkonapainfulPleasanceToxnever die
  • SeidkonaSeidkona Goddess with a blade Registered User regular
    edited November 27
    It is over. My wife came to me this afternoon and said that there was no way she could be happy and that we were done.

    Honestly it's for the best and there is no hope of some kind of turn around now.

    Seidkona on
    Mostly just huntin' monsters.
    XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
  • MsAnthropyMsAnthropy Our Lady of Perpetual Mazes The CageRegistered User regular
    edited November 28
    -Tal wrote: »
    The language around it is actually really easy! Just be clear about the boundaries of the space. If it's not a space just for lgbtq women, it's, at best, confusing to call it a lgbtq women's space. Just call it a broader lgbtq space but no cis men allowed, it's fine, it's okay to make that specific exclusion.

    I have had conversations with organizers who have extreme discomfort with defining their events through negation / exclusion and want to focus on affirmation / inclusion instead, which leads to the awkward kind of framing that started all of this discussion. *shrug*

    MsAnthropy on
    "The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby
    The SauceElldrencredeiki
  • Kayne Red RobeKayne Red Robe Master of Magic ArcanusRegistered User regular
    Seidkona wrote: »
    It is over. My wife came to me this afternoon and said that there was no way she could be happy and that we were done.

    Honestly it's for the best and there is no hope of some kind of turn around now.
    I'm so sorry.

    lonelyahavaMsAnthropyBrodyDouglasDangerMcFodderchromdomJansonThe SauceSorce21stCenturyElldrenPoketpixieDarkPrimustzeentchlingAnialosmysticjuicerToxErin The RedEl SkidRhesus PositiveThe Hanged ManShadowenBlankZoechrishallett83kimeCambiataSCREECH OF THE FARGN1tSt4lkerFencingsaxButlerLucedesnever dieStericaThe Escape GoatOne Thousand CablesFoolOnTheHillJaysonFourDoctorArchPeenZilla360mori1972aStoryAboutYou
  • PsykomaPsykoma Registered User regular
    edited November 28
    All of my love and support for folk stuck dealing with asshole relatives today, and the same for those who aren't going to family events to because of those people <3

    Psykoma on
    ShadowenMsAnthropySeidkonamysticjuicerCellotzeentchlingScooterBrodyLord PalingtonpimentoCambiataErin The Red3clipseElldrenN1tSt4lkerFencingsaxThe Saucenever dieRhesus PositiveThe Escape GoatlonelyahavaApocalyptusOne Thousand CablesKetarJaysonFourLabelZilla360
  • Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular


    Today was ... A fuckin lot. For so many reasons.
    I hope y'all are doing well, and that your day went smoothly.

    You're all good humans and I'm thankful as shit that you exist.

    mysticjuicerN1tSt4lkerToxDarkPrimusShadowenPlatyBlankZoeMsAnthropyThe Saucenever dieForceVoidThe Escape GoatBrodytzeentchlingchrishallett83CambiataJaysonFourZilla360
  • pimentopimento they/pim Registered User regular
    All the hugs, if you want em.

    ElldrenPsykomaDouglasDangerFencingsaxSeidkona3clipseShadowenBlankZoeThe SauceRhesus PositiveThe Escape GoatMcFoddertzeentchlingchrishallett83PoketpixieErin The RedJaysonFour
  • ElldrenElldren Is a woman dammit I'm a good person yes it's trueRegistered User regular
    edited November 29
    <3 Erin

    Edit: and <3 everyone whose had a rough day today

    Elldren on
    fuck gendered marketing
    mysticjuicerpimentoDouglasDangerFencingsaxSeidkona3clipseShadowenMsAnthropyThe Saucenever dieRhesus PositiveThe Escape GoatMcFodderBrodyApocalyptusKetartzeentchlingchrishallett83FoolOnTheHillErin The RedJaysonFourZilla360
  • SeidkonaSeidkona Goddess with a blade Registered User regular
    Christmas was going to suck and then my girlfriend got me a ticket to come and see her for the holiday week.

    Mostly just huntin' monsters.
    XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
    pimentoRhesus PositiveThe Escape GoatMcFodderBrodyN1tSt4lkernever dieKetartzeentchlingFencingsaxMsAnthropychrishallett83mysticjuicerFoolOnTheHillShadowenPoketpixieElldrenErin The RedThe SauceSorceJaysonFourKayne Red RobeZilla360AnialosaStoryAboutYouTankHammerMadpoet
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    I exist at the very edges of this lovely rainbow, clothed in the privilege of passing that I can't ignore or deny.

    Please know that I love you all. Please know that at any point, I am thinking about and loving you all.

    SeidkonatzeentchlingFencingsaxDouglasDangermysticjuicerCambiataShadowenPoketpixieElldrenErin The RedThe SauceJaysonFourZilla360McFodderAnialosTankHammer
  • never dienever die Registered User regular
    Sooo today was pretty cool.

    When my wife and I got to the family Thanksgiving gathering and my sister arrived, my 14 year old niece walked up to my wife and I and asked if they could talk to us in private. We said yes and went over to the side to talk.

    Well it turns out my niece has come to the realization that he is not my niece, but is instead my nephew as he came out as trans to my wife and I. We were of course very supportive of him and asked him what he preferred to be called, and be told us his name but that for the family gathering to use his old name because some of the family didn’t know (and part of it is old school religious). Him and I talked for awhile about how he was doing and how he was being treated and the like. He told us and seemed very happy that my wife and I, and then my brother and his wife, took the news and use of pronouns in stride. That is when we told him that one of my best friends is a trans woman and that is why we had an easier time handling the switch of pronouns than his mom was (side note: I made sure to get permission from my friend to bring her up before I mentioned her to my nephew, she seemed very into the idea of helping him). We offered him any support he needed and also that while not the same thing, that my friend would be willing to talk or help in anyway she can, including getting him in touch with the trans masc youth mentors she knows.

    Later, after dinner, my brother and I went and talked to my sister for awhile about how she was handling it. My sister let us know my nephew is in therapy and has been for awhile about both this and some depression issues, she has set in on some of the sessions with my nephews permission, and that while she loves him and wants to support him, isn’t sure how and is feeling overwhelmed by it all. She was very happy that my brother and I were 100% behind helping both her and my nephew. I gave my sister some suggestions on how to get better at changing the pronouns she uses for him, I got a bunch of local resources from my friend via text to give to my sister, and my friend openly offered and was accepted by my sister for my friend and I to come down next Sunday to help my sister work through some stuff and get the resources she needed to help my nephew.

    PsykomaSeidkonaBlankZoelonelyahavapimentoRhesus PositiveThe Escape GoatKetartzeentchlinginitiatefailureSporkAndrewFencingsaxMsAnthropychrishallett83DouglasDanger21stCenturymysticjuicerCambiataFoolOnTheHillStericaShadowenkimeSatanic JesusPoketpixiecredeikiElldrenJedocErin The RedThe SauceSorceJaysonFourLucedesNarbusBrodyKayne Red RobePeenZilla360McFodderCurly_BraceThe Hanged ManAnialoswanderingaStoryAboutYouEl Skid
  • ShadowenShadowen Snores in the morning Registered User regular
    edited December 1
    Billy Dee Williams kinda-sorta came out as genderfluid in an interview with Esquire?

    Williams doesn't use the term in the interview, but does specifically use both male and female pronouns.
    Billy Dee wrote:
    I never tried to be anything except myself. I think of myself as a relatively colorful character who doesn’t take himself or herself too seriously. ... And you see I say ‘himself’ and ‘herself,’ because I also see myself as feminine as well as masculine. I’m a very soft person. I’m not afraid to show that side of myself.

    Love to see it.

    Shadowen on
    pimentoBahamutZEROElldrennever dieOne Thousand Cableschrishallett83ToxNarbusSeidkonamysticjuicerBrodySorcekimeSporkAndrewErin The Red3clipseZilla360StericaMcFodderApocalyptusMsAnthropyAnialoswandering
  • SeidkonaSeidkona Goddess with a blade Registered User regular
    It took me about a week to get over the shock of the divorce but I am in a much better place today.

    A lot of it has to do with my Girlfriend who has had me on video quite a bit and spent time making sure I knew she was there.

    I have also learned a lot about myself in this week of mostly being alone (aside from gf time of course)

    Ultimately it will be good. I am leaving this damned state and moving to the Bay area.

    I have to get a new job, sell the house, get the ex settled into a new place, officially get divorced.

    It is a lot but today it feels doable

    Mostly just huntin' monsters.
    XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
    TayaMsAnthropyCambiataBrodycredeikiThe Saucetzeentchlingnever dieZilla360ShadowenForceVoidWhippymysticjuicerpimentoWyvernCurly_BraceSorceKetarJansonDarkPrimusN1tSt4lkerErin The RedRhesus PositiveBlankZoechrishallett83
  • The SauceThe Sauce Fleur de Alys Registered User regular
    I am now officially out at work.

    Everything has gone really smoothly. Well beyond hopes and expectations.

    It filtered down through management chains to (local) operational personnel. Vague word so far is that went great, too, with the biggest question being what to call me. Given that plants like this are nickname-heavy, some wondered about giving me a gender-neutral nickname for now until the full-time switchover announcement / name & pronoun change.

    That's so unexpectedly sweet I might cry about it. I work in a steel mill in the South.

    Despite all the horrendous bullshit coming down at us from current DC occupiers... the world is changing, ya'll. I know there's going to be some snags ahead, but even this would have been borderline unthinkable 5 - 10 years ago.

    Time to schedule getting my brows done!!

    Triptycho: A card-and-dice tabletop indie RPG currently in development and playtesting
    PsykomaThe Escape GoattzeentchlingwanderingKetarTayaVyolyncelonelyahava3clipseFencingsaxOne Thousand CablesBrodySilverWindmysticjuicerZilla360LucedesJedocBrovid HasselsmofCambiataAndy JoeShadowenForceVoidWyvernApocalyptusSeidkonaElldrenpimentoaStoryAboutYouMcFodderN1tSt4lkerInfamyDeferredCurly_BraceSorceSporkAndrewGrogStericaErin The RedEl SkidRhesus PositiveMsAnthropythe cheatBlankZoenever diePoketpixieAnialosPeenWeedLordVegetaMorivethkimeFoolOnTheHillLabelToxMr Fuzzbutt
  • ScooterScooter Registered User regular
    Shadowen wrote: »
    Billy Dee Williams kinda-sorta came out as genderfluid in an interview with Esquire?

    Williams doesn't use the term in the interview, but does specifically use both male and female pronouns.
    Billy Dee wrote:
    I never tried to be anything except myself. I think of myself as a relatively colorful character who doesn’t take himself or herself too seriously. ... And you see I say ‘himself’ and ‘herself,’ because I also see myself as feminine as well as masculine. I’m a very soft person. I’m not afraid to show that side of myself.

    Love to see it.

    Sadly, he's walked this back, and in a way that indicates he doesn't really understand any of the terminology. Paraphrasing it was basically 'I don't know what genderfluid means, all I meant was that I'm in touch with the feminine side we all have, and I am suuuuppper not-gay. So not gay'.

    SorceZilla360
  • CambiataCambiata Commander Shepard The likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered User regular
  • SeidkonaSeidkona Goddess with a blade Registered User regular
    I was feeling crappy so I colored my hair and tweezed my brows for the first time.

    Here's a rare no makeup selfie to celebrate:


    Mostly just huntin' monsters.
    XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
    Cambiatachrishallett83InfamyDeferredRhesus PositiveForceVoidMsAnthropyFencingsaxlonelyahavaDouglasDangermysticjuicerBrodyZilla360ShadowenLabelpimentoElldrenThe SauceErin The RedThe Escape GoatKetarAnialosBlackhawk1313ToxFoolOnTheHillApocalyptusTankHammernever dieNeco
  • The SauceThe Sauce Fleur de Alys Registered User regular
    Ah. One of those mornings.

    Get some unsolicited affirmation from a friend - awesome!
    Be a total dumbass and read the comments on a medium.com trans article - not awesome!

    Getting a boost doesn't mean it's okay to relax all self care habits and cannonball into TERF-land. That way lies emotional whiplash.

    Triptycho: A card-and-dice tabletop indie RPG currently in development and playtesting
    mysticjuicerElldrenZilla360SeidkonaCambiatatzeentchlingDepressperadoToxpimentoShadowenMsAnthropynever diewandering
  • SeidkonaSeidkona Goddess with a blade Registered User regular
    I just got to a size where I can sneak into a push up bra and wow .

    Talk about gender euphoria.

    Mostly just huntin' monsters.
    XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
    CambiataElldrenForceVoidKetarDepressperadoBlackhawk1313BrodyRhesus PositivewanderingInfamyDeferredToxFoolOnTheHillPoketpixieShadowenApocalyptusMcFodderThe SauceMsAnthropyZilla360SorcemysticjuicerTankHammerchrishallett83never dieOut Of ContextFencingsaxDarkPrimus
  • The SauceThe Sauce Fleur de Alys Registered User regular
    Went for basic arm / underarm sugaring tonight.

    Surprise, got my brows sugared.

    It's my first new brows! I love them so much, I can't even. They've made me so dysphoric since I can't fix them with makeup. Now that I'm not hiding at work, I can have them look like this forever!

    Gonna go wine and cry now. Love ya'll

    Triptycho: A card-and-dice tabletop indie RPG currently in development and playtesting
    wanderingBlackhawk1313mysticjuicerForceVoidCellolonelyahavaJansonSeidkonaZilla360The Escape Goatnever dieMcFodderElldrenOne Thousand CablesSorcepimentoCambiataApocalyptusShadowenFencingsaxtzeentchlingRhesus PositiveLucedesLabelErin The Red3clipseBrodyjaziek
  • never dienever die Registered User regular
    edited 4:38AM
    I've had the meeting I set up with my sister and my friend, to help her with comprehending and supporting my 14 year old nephew, who came out as transmasculine. I honestly mostly just was there to facilitate the conversation as my friend (who is trans) fielded questions from my sister and helped her work through it all. My sister, as I posted last time, wants to be supportive but was having trouble comprehending that her child was transmasculine. So they talked for about two hours while I played with my sisters new puppy to keep it distracted. And like, it went well, but it was weird to listen to my sister ask some pretty prodding questions of my friend. Though to be fair, she told my sister that she was willing to answer everything. And I could tell she had had this conversation before, her ability to field all of the questions and answer them pretty well. Give good examples and anecdotes, sharing photos from my wedding where she was there pre-transition to show the change, explaining dysphoria and supportive habits, etc. She also gave my sister her number to give my nephew, and I talked to my sister about helping her connecting my nephew with IYG (the Indianapolis LGBTQ+ Youth support organization), and offering again that I would drive back down to pick him and my sister up for any therapy, support group, or medical needs needed. As my sister lives out in a small town hours away from Indy.

    So yeah, it went well. I was even pleasantly surprised my brother was offering to let my nephews stay with him over the holidays (I've only ever been the sibling to let the two of them stay overnight). And my sister is earnestly trying to help my nephew. She was getting better already in switching pronouns, though it still needs work. She's trying at least. And she made sure my nephew's stocking has his name on it, and not his previous/deadname. Same with his presents.

    The only negative note, and my friend did urge patience to me (its a process for everyone, she said), is my father is pretty much refusing to deal with this at all? Like he's not openly attacking my nephew or anything, but has essentially shut down and refuses to engage with the situation at all. Which is very frustrating. I'm gonna give him time to process this, I know this is new to him and he is older, but I will set him down and talk to him if need be about all of this.

    never die at
    Zilla360lonelyahavaThe SauceSorcepimentowanderingApocalyptusShadowenkimeFencingsaxMcFoddertzeentchlingRhesus PositiveElldrenSeidkonaErin The RedBrodymysticjuicerTaya
  • pimentopimento they/pim Registered User regular
    Me on the way home from the endo today after finding out that my levels are good and we doubled my e dose.

    b8knrogigq8i.jpg

    The SauceVyolynceForceVoidBrodyBlankZoeButlerFencingsaxSporkAndrewmysticjuicerDouglasDangernever dieRhesus PositivetzeentchlingSeidkonaZilla360TankHammerJansonwanderingThe Escape Goat
  • SeidkonaSeidkona Goddess with a blade Registered User regular
    It looks like I will be able to change my name as part of my divorce if I go get my gender marker switched on my license which is now easy in Michigan.

    So I am super excited!

    I am dropping my family name which might bother a few people but honestly I do not really care

    Mostly just huntin' monsters.
    XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
    DepressperadoKetarmysticjuicerBrodytzeentchlingTayaDarkPrimusinitiatefailurelonelyahavaZilla360wanderingElldrenThe Hanged ManThe Escape GoatForceVoid
  • initiatefailureinitiatefailure Registered User regular
    edited 7:42PM
    I had a strange experience come up recently and while I know this largely, and probably exclusively exists in my head, i can't get it out. I was playing in a magic the gathering team tournament recently and in the last round my opponent from the other team is someone that i would describe as non-cis presenting and unfortunately the conversation didn't really get to a point of better understanding.

    I feel like in the past year with my hair being past my shoulders now, and my face is a lot softer with me shaving much more regularly, and I've only bought clothes with weird cuts or features that aren't ultra rigid boring men's clothing standard if not just full on GNC, that I present much more fluidly, which generically works with me and lets me step into whatever position I need or want to at a moment's notice.

    With that background, this other person seemed very excited to play against me and our initial interaction was great, they told me their name and then soured when I told them mine, which is far more up front gendered. Like nothing turned actively bad, we were both generally pleasant and mostly only discussed our game match. But it felt like I had shut down someone who thought they'd have a chance to relate more with me in an event dominated by cishet dudes and I felt bad, and feeling bad made me not bring anything up, like maybe something as simple as a pronoun question could have saved that interaction, but i just was kind of feeling like I'd already messed it up.

    Truthfully I've never really considered my name. It has no strong meaning to me negatively or positively other than being used to it. This is the first time it ever felt like anything significant, and i feel bad that it might have been a barrier to communication

    initiatefailure at
    I Do Design | I PSN- Subtle_Ties | 3DS: 3840-5210-2008 (Subtle)
  • mysticjuicermysticjuicer [he/him] I'm a muscle wizard and I cast P U N C HRegistered User regular
    I feel like that's... very much not on you? Assuming you're wondering if your having a gendered name was some kind of flaw or imposition.

    narwhal wrote:
    Why am I Terran?
    My YouTube Channel! Featuring Yomi tournament commentary and tutorials!
    3clipsetzeentchlingPerrsunlonelyahavaJansonElldrenZilla360ForceVoid
  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    One of the other Ghostbusters franchises is doing a patch/pin run to benefit an LGBTQ homeless shelter in New York. Figured I'd cross-post the details here if it looks cool to anyone.
    TankHammer wrote: »
    The NYC Ghostbusters are producing another run of their rainbow patches and pins benefiting Trinity Place Shelter of anyone wants one.

    i9le9wqfazqd.jpg

    gdy88dvtokdn.jpg

    https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSenK8hVSTAEOj1lFWgRiCHx_N7gGaBQRWfJOER3bxTZ29jcKg/viewform?edit_requested=true

    tzeentchlingJansonCambiatamysticjuicerZilla360VyolynceThe Escape Goat
  • mysticjuicermysticjuicer [he/him] I'm a muscle wizard and I cast P U N C HRegistered User regular
    I feel like that's... very much not on you? Assuming you're wondering if your having a gendered name was some kind of flaw or imposition.

    Following up on this though - if you feel like you want to more explicitly project the fact that you are queer, and signal to fellow other LGBTQ+ people, may I suggest some appropriate rainbow and/or pronoun pins? I have a small bi-flag coloured axolotl pin on my winter jacket, which I'm quite fond of.

    narwhal wrote:
    Why am I Terran?
    My YouTube Channel! Featuring Yomi tournament commentary and tutorials!
    Zilla360
  • ElldrenElldren Is a woman dammit I'm a good person yes it's trueRegistered User regular
    Seidkona wrote: »
    It looks like I will be able to change my name as part of my divorce if I go get my gender marker switched on my license which is now easy in Michigan.

    So I am super excited!

    I am dropping my family name which might bother a few people but honestly I do not really care

    Wait you’re going full mononym?

    You can do that?

    fuck gendered marketing
    Cambiata
  • initiatefailureinitiatefailure Registered User regular
    I feel like that's... very much not on you? Assuming you're wondering if your having a gendered name was some kind of flaw or imposition.

    I do know this yes. It's just... stuck in my headspace

    I Do Design | I PSN- Subtle_Ties | 3DS: 3840-5210-2008 (Subtle)
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