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[Kids] are the best of times, the worst of times

lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me AhavaMove to New ZealandRegistered User regular
Talk about your kids! Talk about parenting!

Lament your parents and in-laws and their TERRIBLE parenting skills, seriously, how did any of us survive?

Bring us your stories of success, your stories of frustration, your stories of gross (but spoiler them if they're too bad. We might be parents, but we're still able to be squeamish).

We've been doing this for a while now, and we're still going strong.

We're here for each other. All of us for all of you. There is no judgement here, nothing you post will be too much. We support you and yours fully.

Love, laughter, tears, frustration, let it all come here. This is your safe space.

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Posts

  • davidsdurionsdavidsdurions Your Trusty Meatshield Panhandle NebraskaRegistered User regular
    My five year old had her first swim lesson today. It’s just for a week and from what I could see, she’ll have it figured out by then. Could have saved us $50 if she’d just go ahead and listen to me when I try to teach her a life skill. Your dad was a lifeguard, sweetie.

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    Banzai5150JansonlonelyahavaBrodypookamrpakuAldokimeMNC DoverDevlin_DragonusPerrsunSmrtniksponoSporkAndrewSlacker71ElvenshaeJaysonFourLoisLane
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    why in the world would they listen.



    @mxmarks I don't know the US process, but will the dr's office do blood tests to determine the hormone levels? that might help keep her mind at ease if available and not ridiculously expensive. You guys are in my thoughts and I'm hoping for good news.

    KalnaurDevlin_Dragonus
  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    Ugh, swimming. Anya and Niko didn’t even pass the basic class last summer. Niko did a little better than Anya, but neither of them are keen.

    ...I wish leisure centers were a thing in the US the way they are in the U.K. In the UK you can typically pay $5 to visit an awesome indoor swimming pool, often with some cool water slides and a kiddy pool. In the US, at least where I’ve lived, you can either pay a lot for a visit to a water park (not really great for plain swimming) or get a gym membership...

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    lonelyahavaceres
  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    Janson wrote: »
    Ugh, swimming. Anya and Niko didn’t even pass the basic class last summer. Niko did a little better than Anya, but neither of them are keen.

    ...I wish leisure centers were a thing in the US the way they are in the U.K. In the UK you can typically pay $5 to visit an awesome indoor swimming pool, often with some cool water slides and a kiddy pool. In the US, at least where I’ve lived, you can either pay a lot for a visit to a water park (not really great for plain swimming) or get a gym membership...

    Think about how swole the kids would be though.

    "I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."

    The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    omg our leisure centers are amazing.

    our local has a large pool with at least 4 separate lanes for lap swimming, and then 2 larger lanes for fun play. We've also got a big water slide that goes into a deep scuba training pool (that's also used for water polo and I even saw some synchronised swimming practice the other day). Plus a kiddie pool in another area that is much warmer and deep enough for most 3 year olds to be able to stand up. Plus a hot tub, a sauna, a steam room, and family changing rooms. Complete with changing tables! There's a gym upstairs with studio space for classes as well. They have a daycare, and then in the facility around the back is a skating rink.

    All run by the council. Kids under 10? are free with a $1 charge for the accompanying parent.

    So amazing.

    JansonpookaBrodyDevlin_DragonussponoSlacker71Blameless ClericLoisLaneZilla360
  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    edited June 3
    Besides, this is Americuh. I'm pretty sure you're just supposed to find a lake, and then sparta kick your kids off the dock to sink or swim.

    Edit: This is how my neighbor learned to swim, and he's never drowned.

    Edit edit: I'm pretty sure he's also never gone swimming since.

    Brody on
    "I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."

    The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
    Smrtnik
  • KalnaurKalnaur I See Heat Waves . . . Centralia, WARegistered User regular
    I'm nearly 40 and still cann't swim largely because I was forced to go to swim classes that I loathed.

    On "my kid" news, he rarely says actual words still, even at two and a half, so when he walked right up to me and said, "hey, dadt . . ." I was all ears and said, "yeah, buddy?". Then he mouthed something with no noise, looked at me with squinted eyes, and walked off. Not exactly helpful, but hey, getting there one day at a time. Hiding his pacifiers from him unless it's sleep time seems to help a bit.

    Also funny, he came back about 20 minutes later, I asked him what he needed again, and he placed his forehead on mine. I told him I can't hear what he's thinking, and he made a distressed, disappointed noise, got down, and ran off again. Look, kid, I'm many awesome things, but a telepath isn't one of them.

    I make art things! deviantART: Kalnaur ::: Origin: Kalnaur ::: UPlay: Kalnaur
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  • KetarKetar Ready to feel better about your own miserable lives?Registered User regular
    Janson wrote: »
    Ugh, swimming. Anya and Niko didn’t even pass the basic class last summer. Niko did a little better than Anya, but neither of them are keen.

    ...I wish leisure centers were a thing in the US the way they are in the U.K. In the UK you can typically pay $5 to visit an awesome indoor swimming pool, often with some cool water slides and a kiddy pool. In the US, at least where I’ve lived, you can either pay a lot for a visit to a water park (not really great for plain swimming) or get a gym membership...

    Huh. Everywhere I've lived around Chicago has had public pools available that you can access for a fairly low per-day fee, or by purchasing a seasonal membership (less expensive if you're a local resident). Quite a few private swim and tennis clubs around the burbs where we live now too, but those are a lot more expensive than the public pools I grew up with.

    And then of course plenty of gyms with pools too.

    SyphonBlue
  • MulysaSemproniusMulysaSempronius but also susie nyRegistered User regular
    One of the worst things about my neighborhood is lack of swimming nearby. It's a trek to get anyplace. I pay $$$ for my daughter to go to classes during after-school so I don't have to make the trip during the weekend. When the kids are older, the bus or subway won't be too bad. But currently it's a hassle.

    If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
  • PeenPeen tw1tch0rz occasionallyRegistered User regular
    Our county rec system has a few indoor pools that are really nice, not exactly cheap but cheaper than a water park or gym membership would be. The US is giant and things are very different from place to place and I guess that's how we like it?

  • Devlin_DragonusDevlin_Dragonus Gorgeous Dallas, TXRegistered User regular
    So when peanut was 6 months we noticed he love playing in the water



    A little afterwards we enrolled him in gold fish swim school

    voyaismjp6fb.jpeg

    He knew how to “swim” before he could crawl.

    (Actually when he started his attempts at crawling he had the most adorable land swimming movements)

    I got nothing for you now. Try again later.

    lonelyahavamrpakuBrodyKetarDisruptedCapitalistkimeMNC DoverJansondavidsdurionsBanzai5150Virgil_Leads_YoudjmitchellaPeenSlacker71ElvenshaeJaysonFourBlameless ClericLoisLane
  • HenroidHenroid Radio Demon Internet HellRegistered User regular
    Babysitting my niece. She went down for a nap, but it was short; she woke up a few minutes ago and didn't seem to be in a good mood. By luck though I was hitting play on a music track someone linked and it sounds very much like a lullaby, and now my niece is asleep again.

    Nobody likes me but that's okay. I'm used to it.
    Devlin_DragonuslonelyahavamrpakuBrodyKalnaurkimeJansondavidsdurionsCapt HowdyJaysonFour
  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    edited June 3
    So when peanut was 6 months we noticed he love playing in the water

    A little afterwards we enrolled him in gold fish swim school
    voyaismjp6fb.jpeg

    He knew how to “swim” before he could crawl.

    (Actually when he started his attempts at crawling he had the most adorable land swimming movements)

    I feel like we should have tried to do more of this sort of stuff when Sapling was a little younger (she's still only 22 months old), but we just felt so bad with her constantly spitting up in the car seat that we never really went anywhere.

    Brody on
    "I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."

    The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
  • SharpyVIISharpyVII Registered User regular
    edited June 3
    Our little man had a good night's sleep last night. It was difficult at first as he was cluster feeding and spent several hours in a row feeding on and off.

    But after that he (and both of us) slept for 6 hours.

    So tonight we felt confident that we sort of knew what to expect.

    But he's decided not to play ball so I'm sat up with him in my arms. My wife needs her sleep and has been getting very upset/stressed due to lack of sleep.

    He's having one of those nights where he will only sleep in the arms of one of us so it's best for it to be so my wife can rest.

    It's very stressful but it's hard to be too mad at him as he's curt making cute squeaking noises whilst he sleeps and is grinning (farting).

    SharpyVII on
  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    SharpyVII wrote: »
    Our little man had a good night's sleep last night. It was difficult at first as he was cluster feeding and spent several hours in a row feeding on and off.

    But after that he (and both of us) slept for 6 hours.

    So tonight we felt confident that we sort of knew what to expect.

    But he's decided not to play ball so I'm sat up with him in my arms. My wife needs her sleep and has been getting very upset/stressed due to lack of sleep.

    He's having one of those nights where he will only sleep in the arms of one of us so it's best for it to be so my wife can rest.

    It's very stressful but it's hard to be too mad at him as he's curt making cute squeaking noises whilst he sleeps and is grinning (farting).

    It will get better. And easier.

    I am in the business of saving lives.
    DisruptedCapitalistKalnaurMusicDragonEntriechSlacker71
  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    I take Bean to a community pool once every couple weeks which is nice and heated and has areas shallow enough he can walk and sit by himself and has infant life jackets for when we wanna play in the deeper parts. 6 bucks for us both.

    Swimming in pools from a young age is just so ingrained in my Australian mind. You learn to swim young because it's so hot that you NEED to swim.

    In other news my in-laws get home in 2 days from a 2 year round the world cycling trip. They've never met their grandson. They pretty much told us to expect them over every day for a couple weeks.

    JansonBrodymrpakuchrishallett83Devlin_DragonussponoSporkAndrewI ZimbraSlacker71Capt HowdyElvenshaeBlameless ClericLoisLane
  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    So, we've been trying to expand Saplings food selection, and the other day my wife offered her some soy yogurt, and she liked it, so we got her a big tub of vanilla yogurt. But she's been refusing to eat it, because she is a butt, and also probably because it's not something my wife is eating (lactose intolerant), or that I could share (cold). So today my wife had made a small bowl to try and get her to eat it, which hadn't been touched when I got home. I set her on my lap and said yogurt, and she said no, and we went back and forth a bit until she decided on a long drawn out "Nooooooooo!" So I stuck the spoon in her mouth, and after the look of betrayal fell off her face, she said "it's nummy".

    "I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."

    The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
    davidsdurionslonelyahavakimemrpakuKalnaurMusicDragonDevlin_DragonusPerrsunsponodjmitchellaSlacker71ElvenshaeBlameless Cleric
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Ellie is currently in a "chicken nuggets and chips/fries" "spaghetti" or "scrambled eggs" rotation.

    But then she'll also ask for cauliflower, cherry tomatoes, and cucumber. This child will take a full third of a telegraph cucumber in hand and just sit on the sofa and take giant bites out of it like it's a lollipop.

    davidsdurionsDisruptedCapitalistBrodyFishmanSporkAndrewElvenshaeJaysonFourThe Zombie PenguinBlameless ClericLoisLane
  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    About 50% of my big guys dietary intake is fruit snacks. 20% is milk. I'll occasionally cook them up high quality meals which will then take them an hour to get two bites of down, if we force them. Oh, and sometimes the meal that would've worked every single day last month is nowgross this month, which I find out usually directly after I serve it to the table

    Banzai5150lonelyahavaDisruptedCapitalistElvenshae
  • HardtargetHardtarget There Are Four Lights VancouverRegistered User regular
    edited June 4
    Miscarriage talk from last thread:
    We had 2 miscarriages before we had our first kid. it's extremely normal and people should talk about it more. Because nobody ever talks about it it creates a huge stigma around it which is a real big problem for people facing them. Miscarriages, in general, are good. The body has noticed something is not right and is stopping what is going on on purpose.

    This doesn't help anybody going through it, it's very hard, but there can be a positive to it and it's worth thinking about.

    Hardtarget on
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  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    My kid is three.

    This is my life now

    Oh she is just the sweetest thing, look we're cuddling together and she gave me a kiss and says she lived me and what oh now she's lying to her father saying that I got soap in her eyes and they she didn't like me and I'm the worst well ok then.

    Nope. I don't need to be emotionally stable like ever.

    Sigh. I love her so much but man sometimes I really don't like her. And my friends with two year old are like, "oh mine did that too" and it's like, oh honey. You don't actually know. There's a whole year there for them to find new ways to make you cry.

  • ProlegomenaProlegomena Frictionless Spinning The VoidRegistered User regular
    Kalnaur wrote: »
    I asked him what he needed again, and he placed his forehead on mine. I told him I can't hear what he's thinking, and he made a distressed, disappointed noise, got down, and ran off again. Look, kid, I'm many awesome things, but a telepath isn't one of them.


    This behaviour implies that he is, however, so watch your thoughts.

    lonelyahavaBrodyPerrsunMNC DoverKalnaurJansonkimeSlacker71Elvenshaepooka
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Look at all you breeders! Disgusting! I would never have kids!

    HEY SATAN! HERE'S MY WISHLIST! GO NUTS YOU DEVIL!

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1JI9WWSRW1YJI
    Jansonlonelyahava
  • ChiselphaneChiselphane Registered User regular
    Dropped my daughter off for first day of summer school and it was shockingly not a nightmare of traffic and despair. I was almost second-guessing I had the wrong school, not that that is a thing that's ever happened nope. I fully expect a double dose of pain for pickup though. The school has been wrestling for years for a good way to manage pickup/dropoff and it's definitely a 'foolproof solution just ends up breeding better fools'. The entitlement and laziness that is prevalent in the culture here never rears its ugly head as prominently as it does around school traffic.

  • BlazeFireBlazeFire Registered User regular
    The toddler made it through the whole night without any accidents last night. Wahoo.

    XaquinmrpakuSharpyVIIJansonKalnaurBrodyMNC DoverChiselphanekimeKetarPeenSlacker71MusicDragoncereslonelyahavaElvenshaeDevlin_DragonusJaysonFourFishmanLoisLane
  • KalnaurKalnaur I See Heat Waves . . . Centralia, WARegistered User regular
    Kalnaur wrote: »
    I asked him what he needed again, and he placed his forehead on mine. I told him I can't hear what he's thinking, and he made a distressed, disappointed noise, got down, and ran off again. Look, kid, I'm many awesome things, but a telepath isn't one of them.


    This behaviour implies that he is, however, so watch your thoughts.

    Trust me, there's more than a few things he does that make me suspicious at times as to how far he can tell what I'm thinking.

    I make art things! deviantART: Kalnaur ::: Origin: Kalnaur ::: UPlay: Kalnaur
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  • m!ttensm!ttens Registered User regular
    With all this talk of food it reminded me that we're about to start introducing solid foods to Miss Bea. Anyone have some good advice around that (besides put down a giant tarp under the high chair)? Any proponents of baby-led weaning out there?

    Kalnaur
  • PeenPeen tw1tch0rz occasionallyRegistered User regular
    Yup, right here. We baby-led-weaned our second kid when she was four months old and she started grabbing utensils and forcing them towards her mouth when she was sitting on our laps. We didn't let her have them but we did say hmmmm and start giving her a little food here and there and it turned out great. My only real suggestions are make your own baby food if you can because pre-processed stuff is gross (we made our own purees and froze them in ice cube trays, frozen veggies were great for this), cut solid food tiny but trust that they can gum them up just fine because there are teeth under there and not everything has to be a puree, stuff like peas and cheerios are great for nutrition and fine-motor development both, give them a huge range of food while you can because they'll be picky soon enough, and follow whatever allergen introduction schedule your doctor gives you because you never know.

    Elvenshae
  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    We kind of let Bean run the show as far as solids went. He was uninterested in pureed food, wouldn't accept food from a spoon, but loved munching on bread and scrambled eggs and cereal and fruit. He got into dried fruit early and never lost his love of it. Mostly we just made sure to always offer him whatever we were eating so he got a taste for everything.

    I remember it being a little anxiety inducing that he got all the nutrients he needed, but my wife was so chill about it and the baby ended up just eating what he wanted. If he wasn't interested in what we were having for dinner, there were always easy things we could give him to make sure he didn't go hungry.

    Babies are individuals, they have preferences, and if they're not interested in doing it the way the baby books say you should, that's just fine. If they're happy and nourished, it's ok.

    MusicDragonJansonlonelyahavaPeen
  • KalnaurKalnaur I See Heat Waves . . . Centralia, WARegistered User regular
    Meanwhile, my dude loves puree still, and will outright reject any crumb of solid food, however at now just over 2.5 years old, he's starting to experiment with his teeth and the spoon while he eats, so I'm hoping he's going to start actually chewing or something? He's got some sensory food issues, so that's the sticking point, but my point is that they know what they will and won't eat, and you should encourage them to try new things, but don't force it, and don't try and withhold food. They'll do the food things when they're ready.

    I make art things! deviantART: Kalnaur ::: Origin: Kalnaur ::: UPlay: Kalnaur
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    #pipePeen
  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    m!ttens wrote: »
    With all this talk of food it reminded me that we're about to start introducing solid foods to Miss Bea. Anyone have some good advice around that (besides put down a giant tarp under the high chair)? Any proponents of baby-led weaning out there?

    Baby led weaning has some nice ideas, feel free to go with it, but it shouldn't actually involve any "weaning." As in, milk is still where they should be getting all their nutrients and stuff from, don't lessen the milk just because you're starting solids. I think that shouldn't really even start until... 12 months? I forget exactly.

    In general, even from when they're starting all through when they are growing up, I really like (and have heard recommended in various places) the philosophy of "you choose what is in the meal, they chose what specifically and how much they want to eat."

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  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    edited June 4
    Cut up everything- grapes, fruit snacks. If you think for a one second it might- just cut it all up. Buy a ton of disinfectant wipes for immediate usage and to be able to get into the spot under the fridge they hide the pieces they don't want (believe me, that's how you get ants)

    Don't get your expectations too high, like others here have said. I was super excited to be able to cook and share food experiences with my kids, and they're both Philistines who could just subsist on peanut butter and hot dogs and popsicles, and that's fine I guess (Little Man is slowly slowly coming around and trying new things now that's he's learning to cook)

    Meanwhile, now that I've given up hope in anyone else ever ordering with me at the Mexican restaurant, just past thirteen months old Tiny Wonder is emerging as my, maybe? eater. And he hates puured food of all kinds, and the texture of bananas, but he will take scraps from the table like the best, most eager little puppy, and cleans up after my other two to an almost full degree so umm, yay for scavengers?

    edit- also, no honey! According to the pediatrician, that's *literally* the only food one year olds aren't allowed (forget why)

    mrpaku on
    kimePeen
  • SyphonBlueSyphonBlue Registered User regular
    m!ttens wrote: »
    With all this talk of food it reminded me that we're about to start introducing solid foods to Miss Bea. Anyone have some good advice around that (besides put down a giant tarp under the high chair)? Any proponents of baby-led weaning out there?

    We started giving solids at 6 months, skipping purees completely. Started with mushy foods like bananas and then working the way up to more solid foods. Stopped breastfeeding both kids at 15 months.

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  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Game Designer/Stay-at-home Dad Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    My daughter asked for and ate broccoli twice last night. Who is this person and what have they done with my child?

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  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    SyphonBlue wrote: »
    m!ttens wrote: »
    With all this talk of food it reminded me that we're about to start introducing solid foods to Miss Bea. Anyone have some good advice around that (besides put down a giant tarp under the high chair)? Any proponents of baby-led weaning out there?

    We started giving solids at 6 months, skipping purees completely. Started with mushy foods like bananas and then working the way up to more solid foods. Stopped breastfeeding both kids at 15 months.

    Sweet Potatoes were the first big hit with us.

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  • ProlegomenaProlegomena Frictionless Spinning The VoidRegistered User regular
    Kalnaur wrote: »
    Kalnaur wrote: »
    I asked him what he needed again, and he placed his forehead on mine. I told him I can't hear what he's thinking, and he made a distressed, disappointed noise, got down, and ran off again. Look, kid, I'm many awesome things, but a telepath isn't one of them.


    This behaviour implies that he is, however, so watch your thoughts.

    Trust me, there's more than a few things he does that make me suspicious at times as to how far he can tell what I'm thinking.

    It's good that he can do this, and I broadly agree with any decisions he may make regarding the cornfield/who ought to reside there.

    mrpakuKalnaurSlacker71Elvenshae
  • m!ttensm!ttens Registered User regular
    Peen wrote: »
    Yup, right here. We baby-led-weaned our second kid when she was four months old and she started grabbing utensils and forcing them towards her mouth when she was sitting on our laps. We didn't let her have them but we did say hmmmm and start giving her a little food here and there and it turned out great. My only real suggestions are make your own baby food if you can because pre-processed stuff is gross (we made our own purees and froze them in ice cube trays, frozen veggies were great for this), cut solid food tiny but trust that they can gum them up just fine because there are teeth under there and not everything has to be a puree, stuff like peas and cheerios are great for nutrition and fine-motor development both, give them a huge range of food while you can because they'll be picky soon enough, and follow whatever allergen introduction schedule your doctor gives you because you never know.

    Our pediatrician said latest AAP guidelines are to introduce whatever you want (mrpaku: yeah except honey and it's because of botulism spores) slowly, one new food every 5 days, and just monitor for reactions. She specifically mentioned peanut butter being a good early food because it is calorically dense, tastes good and there is evidence to support that early introduction will reduce incidents of allergic reactions.

    I was planning to do first foods with sweet potatoes (going to boil then whip through the food processor) and probably oatmeal. Definitely going to keep giving her breastmilk and formula though. This is more of a "learn how to eat" thing and hopefully get her to try lots of foods and develop healthy eating habits. I was an awful picky eater as a child and I've broken most of my aversions and will eat most anything but I still hate bananas and cauliflower.

    kimemrpaku
  • SyphonBlueSyphonBlue Registered User regular
    MNC Dover wrote: »
    My daughter asked for and ate broccoli twice last night. Who is this person and what have they done with my child?

    Don't worry, if she's anything like my kids she'll be back to hating it in a couple days

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  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    My daughter loves broccoli, but its also pretty much always in a stir fry.

    Also, honey is a no-no because it can contain Botulinum Toxin.

    "I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."

    The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
  • MulysaSemproniusMulysaSempronius but also susie nyRegistered User regular
    "Weaning" in BLW means introducing to foods, not taking away milk.
    Feeding my kids, I just did a mix-up of BLW and purees. Had a baby-food steamer/blender that I used a lot for my daughter and not so much for my son to make foods. My youngest son got a lot of baby food from the store due to time constraints. But we also gave our kids bits of food from our plates as they grew up. Got lucky that my kids never were very particular.

    If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
    kimeMojo_Jojo
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