[Kids] are the best of times, the worst of times

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  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    "Weaning" in BLW means introducing to foods, not taking away milk.

    I didn't know that! The name always seemed weird to me, as like "why are you naming this something basically every doctor says not to do...?" Thanks for the clarification :)

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  • MusicDragonMusicDragon Registered User regular
    My little man used to be great with food. Wasn’t picky at all. Now he’s fully into “give me meat tubes, nuggets, and mac n cheese or else”. Really frustrating.

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  • MulysaSemproniusMulysaSempronius but also susie nyRegistered User regular
    kime wrote: »
    "Weaning" in BLW means introducing to foods, not taking away milk.

    I didn't know that! The name always seemed weird to me, as like "why are you naming this something basically every doctor says not to do...?" Thanks for the clarification :)
    I remember reading somewhere that blw started in the UK, and that "weaning" tends to have the "starting foods" meaning more than the "stopping milk" meaning there. But my Google-fu appears to be weak, so I'm not sure if I'm remembering correctly, or if I somehow just made this all up. But a quick Google search of BLW backs up that weaning in BLW means introducing foods, at least.

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  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    To my chagrin my kids straight up hate anything with ‘spice’ (aka flavour).

    But we can’t complain since they generally love veggies, and while they’re also picky with regards to meat dishes they do eat cheese etc. for protein. Like no matter else we know we can give them a pb sandwich, cheese, cucumber, tomatoes and broccoli for lunch and they’ll eat it all, which is good.

    I still cannot wait for the day when they start eating any kind of actual meal, though. Mm, curries...

    I guess they did eat Mori’s chili and cornbread yesterday!

    Oh, they’ve always loved dried seaweed and that’s actually somewhat common amongst kids! It’s a great texture for kids to try and it melts easily in the mouth, it’s a good toddler snack.

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  • PerrsunPerrsun Registered User regular
    Going back a topic to infant naps/sleeps in arms: That was a big thing for us when we first brought our boy home. After a few weeks we got him to a point where he would night-sleep in his crib, but for naps he wanted to be held. So I had 2 setups for that that really helped me.

    1. In his room it was a single ear bluetooth headset, comfy chair, and podcasts. I'd pop that headset in, play a podcast, sit back and enjoy the hour (or however long it was). Went through the entire Balance arc of The Adventure Zone within a few months, breaking it up with Acq Inc C Team episodes as they came out.
    2. Earbud headphone into Xbox One controller (could do the same with a PS4) for the living room, and pillow on the lap. I found a good spot on the couch where I could put a pillow on my lap, and then the baby onto that pillow. I could then watch something on Netflix while he slept.

    Both scenarios allowed me to be entertained while he was comforted, and he didn't hear anything I was listening to (and I had one ear open to listen to him). Then slowly after a while we transitioned to helping him fall asleep being held, then putting him down for his nap... which then evolved into putting him down and allowing him to fall asleep on his own while we were in the room... which then evolved into "I can put him down to sleep and tell him I'm going to be right outside, and he falls asleep on his own."

  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    Naps in arms are the best because it means you get a solid hour of cuddles. Believe me, it won't last forever. Savor it.

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  • sponospono Mining for Nose Diamonds Registered User regular
    Our son also just turned 6 months, and we've been experimenting with solids:

    Rice cereal: he likes it! Apparently it is also high in arsenic, so let's just throw that one away and pretend it never happened.

    Oatmeal: he likes it! We make it relatively thick and he eats until he gives us the stink eye.

    Sweet potato: he likes it! Nothing really to report.

    Carrots: he loves it! He ate a shitload on the first night, then woke up and proceeded to fart for about an hour straight at 1:00am. We fed him a bit less last night and he slept fine.

    Next up: ????

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  • ProlegomenaProlegomena Frictionless Spinning The VoidRegistered User regular
    Janson wrote: »
    To my chagrin my kids straight up hate anything with ‘spice’ (aka flavour).

    Whenever they've complained about spice I've always said it was just flavour, to the point where I made a.....non-specific beef based slow-cooked dish you might associate with South America* and Owen was in tears, saying "But...it's got....flaaaaavvooour"


    *It didn't actually have any chillis in it, and could only at best be described as a couple of levels below lukewarm on the spiciness scale.

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  • Capt HowdyCapt Howdy Registered User regular
    Hardtarget wrote: »
    Miscarriage talk from last thread:
    We had 2 miscarriages before we had our first kid. it's extremely normal and people should talk about it more. Because nobody ever talks about it it creates a huge stigma around it which is a real big problem for people facing them. Miscarriages, in general, are good. The body has noticed something is not right and is stopping what is going on on purpose.

    This doesn't help anybody going through it, it's very hard, but there can be a positive to it and it's worth thinking about.

    Our first attempt at getting pregnant ended in a miscarriage. Four months later she was pregnant with our first son. Still hurts thinking about it 13 years later, but we've got two awesome (pain in the ass) sons now.

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  • El SkidEl Skid The frozen white northRegistered User regular
    Brody wrote: »
    Naps in arms are the best because it means you get a solid hour of cuddles. Believe me, it won't last forever. Savor it.

    A thousand times this.

    Last night our daughter came into our room for cuddles because her leg hurts, which is code for "I can't sleep" and she's been doing this for years.

    I have fond memories of picking her up out of our bed when she was asleep, walking gently to her room and tucking her in her crib/bed.

    This was back when she was tiny. Now she's almost 9 and weighs way too much to even consider carrying her, so I sadly have to help her up and walk her to bed. It's not the same feeling at all!

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  • SyphonBlueSyphonBlue Registered User regular
    Capt Howdy wrote: »
    Hardtarget wrote: »
    Miscarriage talk from last thread:
    We had 2 miscarriages before we had our first kid. it's extremely normal and people should talk about it more. Because nobody ever talks about it it creates a huge stigma around it which is a real big problem for people facing them. Miscarriages, in general, are good. The body has noticed something is not right and is stopping what is going on on purpose.

    This doesn't help anybody going through it, it's very hard, but there can be a positive to it and it's worth thinking about.

    Our first attempt at getting pregnant ended in a miscarriage. Four months later she was pregnant with our first son. Still hurts thinking about it 13 years later, but we've got two awesome (pain in the ass) sons now.

    It took us 3 years and at least 3 miscarriages (that we know of) to have our daughter. I remember after the last one, I went out to get McDonald's for dinner, and it was raining and the bag fell apart in my hand as I was walking into the house and I was just so mad and upset that that set me off and I kicked the hamburgers and fries down the driveway while calling them assholes.

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  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    My 7 year old and my 4 year old both wanted to cuddle with me during a movie. But I really had to clean.

    So then they guilted me into taking a bath with them. Where they both sort of awkwardly cuddled me. Then they both wanted me at bedtime. Then I woke up and they were both cuddling me so hard I couldn’t even turn over in bed.

    I know it will come to an end one day but if both my kids could attach themselves to me 24/7 like barnacles, they would.

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  • bsjezzbsjezz Registered User regular
    edited June 2019
    my son started eating at 4 months, mostly mashed orange stuff (carrot, pumpkin, sweet potato) with yoghurt and ginger, avocado, banana, easy food. he was a skinny runt though who was never really much good on the boob and my partner had to pump round the clock and supplement with formula.

    by the time my daughter was 5 or 6 months she just started being interested in food and eating whatever. one of the first things she gnawed down on was a lebanese garlic chicken drumstick. bad parenting? i dunno. this child has always longed for nothing but to be included. who am i to deny her a morning coffee and a pan au chocolat on sunday morning?

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  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    My brother is a doctor and has let his one year old sip beer! He is in the U.K., though, so...

    Uh, don’t know if I should confess this here but Niko has been sipping the dredges of my tea and coffee since before he turned one, haha. Because he refused to take a bottle when I was at work we introduced him to solids at about 4.5 months. He loooved to eat. He also refused a lot of other baby gear and has been using adult-sized knives and forks and drinking from a glass/mug since about 10 months. That’s just who he was.

    It wasn’t always purposeful - I would set my cold, mostly drunk coffee down, then I’d turn my back for a few seconds and Niko would finish it off.

    Anyway, you’re not alone @bsjezz - a bit of coffee and a pain au chocolat is also Niko’s idea of a good morning!

  • bsjezzbsjezz Registered User regular
    my logic was always "if i let her try this yucky beer / bitter black coffee / literally a whole chilli she nabbed off the bush, she'll realise it's gross and stop hassling me"

    nope

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  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited June 2019
    Oh yeah, a revelation for us when he was starting to eat, and this is gonna sound weird, was bones.

    The bone from a chicken drumstick, the bone from a lamb chop, a big steak bone

    He would happily chew on those for HOURS. I'm sure it felt good on his gums, but I'll bet it also tasted good!

    #pipe on
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Ellie had an upset tummy the other night, so I remembered that mom used to give me weak, sweet tea to help.

    so I made her a small cup of lukewarm weak decaf tea with sugar. I pretty much waved the teabag in the water like 5 times.

    This is now the most amazing thing ever in the whole world and if we add milk to it it's even better.

    But, I've been using it as a "you get some with dinner and no sippy cup for bed" and that's been working! 3 nights in a row, no bedtime sippy!


    I am so pleased.

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  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    Oh and in my experience, blending cooked vegetables is basically not necessary. They have plenty of power in their jaws to smush cooked vegetables, even with no teeth, and their gag reflex is powerful and effective enough that it's very very difficult for them to choke.

    Our public health nurse and the book put out by the public health department in our province basically says don't bother unless the baby won't eat. Lightly mash or tear into small pieces. s'all you need.

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  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    #pipe wrote: »
    Oh and in my experience, blending cooked vegetables is basically not necessary. They have plenty of power in their jaws to smush cooked vegetables, even with no teeth, and their gag reflex is powerful and effective enough that it's very very difficult for them to choke.

    Our public health nurse and the book put out by the public health department in our province basically says don't bother unless the baby won't eat. Lightly mash or tear into small pieces. s'all you need.

    To be fair, their gag reflex is powerful enough that initially they have even odds of just puking every time they try to eat :P

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  • davidsdurionsdavidsdurions Your Trusty Meatshield Panhandle NebraskaRegistered User regular
    So swim lesson plus golf lesson within four hours is exhausting for my big girl. I’m about to wake her up from this nap she’s been enjoying and I fear for the backlash about to come. Wish me luck!

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  • SharpyVIISharpyVII Registered User regular
    edited June 2019
    So we tried a new tactic last night and it's worked! He settled around 2300, he was awake from 0200 to 0300 for feeding and cuddles then back to sleep.

    Of course now he's actually asleep I'm laid here wide awake unable to sleep for some reason....

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  • EntriechEntriech Registered User regular
    edited June 2019
    SharpyVII wrote: »
    So we tried a new tactic last night and it's worked! He settled around 2300, he was awake from 0200 to 0300 for feeding and cuddles then back to sleep.

    Of course now he's actually asleep I'm laid here wide awake unable to sleep for some reason....

    Bonus, in a week this new tactic will not work at all. Repeat for the next 2-4 months, or longer as needed.
    It does get better, though.

    Regarding not being able to sleep, I remember at some point making peace with the idea that even if I wasn't able to sleep on demand, just lying quietly in a dark room and resting was restorative enough to be worthwhile.

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  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    SharpyVII wrote: »
    So we tried a new tactic last night and it's worked! He settled around 2300, he was awake from 0200 to 0300 for feeding and cuddles then back to sleep.

    Of course now he's actually asleep I'm laid here wide awake unable to sleep for some reason....

    I don't know what your work situation is like, but the best advice I can give brand new parents is try to trade off nights. One parent does all the getting up and feeding and anything that needs doing and the other parent is allowed uninterrupted sleep. Then the next night trade off.

    Even if you get woken by crying or whatever, getting to stay warm in bed while someone else takes care of it is such amazing peace of mind and leads to being more rested in my experience.

  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    #pipe wrote: »
    SharpyVII wrote: »
    So we tried a new tactic last night and it's worked! He settled around 2300, he was awake from 0200 to 0300 for feeding and cuddles then back to sleep.

    Of course now he's actually asleep I'm laid here wide awake unable to sleep for some reason....

    I don't know what your work situation is like, but the best advice I can give brand new parents is try to trade off nights. One parent does all the getting up and feeding and anything that needs doing and the other parent is allowed uninterrupted sleep. Then the next night trade off.

    Even if you get woken by crying or whatever, getting to stay warm in bed while someone else takes care of it is such amazing peace of mind and leads to being more rested in my experience.

    I think they are breast feeding, so it's not like mom gets a chance to really sleep during these times.

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  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    My wife and I tried very hard to do the "trade off at 1am" deal this last time, so she could have enough rest for work and I could have enough rest for morning with the kids, but past a certain point that kind of idealism broke apart. I think (at least in how I experienced it, and given everyone trying their best!) the three important things to keep in mind at that point are:

    1. Understanding and compensating for your partner's capabilities, at 1am, after a long and bad day. Your partner just birthed a child and is emotional and in a place maybe even she doesn't understand right now. Don't forget your respect for that

    2. Learning to close your eyes and take a *deep breath* when things get hard, and realize all of this is difficult *but*, it very specifically is not your wife or kid's fault, even when hysteria and exhaustion are breaking you, and momma is done and baby is just too much, and all that's on you, for now. This will pass. Eventually

    3. Most importantly, Knowing when to tap out. It's a brave man who can take the bullet and stay up until 3am, day after day, every *single* day for a week. It's a deeply stupid man who continues to do that last his breaking point- you serve no purpose to your family strung out, exhausted, depressed or otherwise done. Take a car trip, crash in a friend's abandoned basement, steal someone's minivan and take four hours in the back to recharge. This is when support systems are invaluable

  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    edited June 2019
    We're trying to get our kid (2.5) to stay quiet and not wake me when he gets up before 6.30. We have a clock that changes colour when it is sleep time, so we can clearly communicate that "nope the clock hasn't turned yellow yet". It works a bit, but he gets up so early that it does ruin my mornings.

    Aldo on
  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    My daughter is somewhat demanding of my attention and presence while also not really wanting cuddles or hugs. When I ask if I can have a hug she says "uh, no thanks" and walks away. It's kind of a bummer, but she's made it clear since she was born that she is her own person with very clear ideas about the necessity of physical affection. It makes me simultaneously proud and bummed out.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
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  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    ceres wrote: »
    My daughter is somewhat demanding of my attention and presence while also not really wanting cuddles or hugs. When I ask if I can have a hug she says "uh, no thanks" and walks away. It's kind of a bummer, but she's made it clear since she was born that she is her own person with very clear ideas about the necessity of physical affection. It makes me simultaneously proud and bummed out.

    Hey good on you for not forcing through the hugs anyway.

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  • ProlegomenaProlegomena Frictionless Spinning The VoidRegistered User regular
    The time has come....yes.....it is the time that was foretold.....William would like to watch CBBC, but Owen still wants to watch CBeebies.

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  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    I think it's harder because my son loves it. He gets sad if he doesn't get surprise-hugged every so often, or if I don't pick him up out of nowhere. It reminds him I love him, I think, to have that kind of very physical attention, and he's always, always been like that. He's getting too big for me to swoop in and pick him up very often, but I still try. She's like "I'm trying to watch MLP here what are you doing." She just wants the company. Sometimes I think my son would meld with me to become one if he could. Of course they're different people, but it still surprises me just how different. Things that bring one so much joy just vaguely annoy the other. It's very confusing sometimes.

    Speaking of my son being a physical guy, all his humor is like that too. He's natural clown, and I don't mean in the class-clown or birthday party-clown kind of way.. I mean in the old-fashioned circus show kind of way, like you might see at Cirque du Soleil. In fact, I might not have recognized it if I hadn't seen a few Cirque shows. He loves it and he just wants to make people laugh. I'd love to find an outlet for him to explore it that isn't 5 minutes before he needs to school and he's not dressed yet. Anyone have any ideas where I might find that kind of thing?

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • SyphonBlueSyphonBlue Registered User regular
    edited June 2019
    How to screw with algorithms: Step 1 - Become a parent

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  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    You know I mentioned how my kids crowd me in bed all night? I took a photo this morning of that:

    2019-06-05%2009.52.45.jpg

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  • KalnaurKalnaur I See Heat Waves . . . Centralia, WARegistered User regular
    ceres wrote: »
    I think it's harder because my son loves it. He gets sad if he doesn't get surprise-hugged every so often, or if I don't pick him up out of nowhere. It reminds him I love him, I think, to have that kind of very physical attention, and he's always, always been like that. He's getting too big for me to swoop in and pick him up very often, but I still try. She's like "I'm trying to watch MLP here what are you doing." She just wants the company. Sometimes I think my son would meld with me to become one if he could. Of course they're different people, but it still surprises me just how different. Things that bring one so much joy just vaguely annoy the other. It's very confusing sometimes.

    Since I was an infant I have disliked being hugged. There's around 5 people in my life that can hug me without it annoying me (excluding kids, who're just, like, whatever). At 40 years of age, I wish someone had recognized that this was an okay thing much earlier in my life and told people to stop trying to hug me. It's like a cat; if it chooses to sit in your lap, that's fine, if you ask it to sit in your lap, that's fine too, but don't just pick it up.

    But hey, wanna sit in the same room? Chat (provided I'm not doing anything else)? Play some games or watch something with me? Sure!

    I guess what I'm saying is it doesn't mean she loves you less. She just loves you different.

    PS: my little dude likes hugs (usually under his own power, occasional surprise hugs) and I've had to lightly modify my thinking to include those concepts. It helps that he's one of the 5 as well as a kid. :wink:

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  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    Yeah, I think my daughter is going to be much more like my wife, and ceres' daughter, in the whole, "I'd like you to sit next to me, but stop invading my personal space", and its hard to handle because I've always been super huggy.

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  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    I was really huggy and affectionate with family as a child, but like Kalnaur said, *only* with the people in my immediate family and maybe a handful of other people I was super close with. Anyone else touching me (especially if I didn't give you permission to touch me) set my anxiety off and make me super uncomfortable with someone. My wife, if anything, is far less physically outgoing then I am

    All three of the boys are cuddly with us and their grandparents. None are that kind of outgoing with strangers (thankfully). But there's variations: Little Man is really socially outgoing with everyone , but is pretty withholding about hugs and kisses, except in rare circumstances. Middle Guy uses cuddles as a time to either physically test you, *or* to manipulate you to feel bad for him (unless he's tired- then it's probably legitimate). And Tiny Wonder is just like ceres's son with the full intent to crawl as closely into you as possible hoping to meld, because he's always needed physical contact as a way to feel comfortable and whole

    My personal, probably unnecessary concern is that Little Man isn't big on saying, "I love you". My family growing up said it to each other, probably to the point of irritation, but for me it's always been important that the kids hear it from me and often. Middle Guy repeats it back and means it, but Little Man has never really taken to it, except in very rare circumstances (even with prompting, which makes me feel gross)

  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    You know what's part of the recipe for one of the best fuckin' days ever?

    Volunteering at your son's school, which is by itself cool enough. (Go WatchDOGS program!)

    But then, with one of the classes you're helping out, they do a science and measurement exercise by assigning each student an animal (and providing a small stat-card), then bringing them out to the playground with chalk and a measuring tape to draw a to-scale picture of their animal.

    And you get to help one of the kids draw a to-scale ...
    59-foot GIANT SQUID

    ... on the sidewalk / blacktop.

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  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Yeah my son, as huggy and cuddly and everything as he is, will dart into the shadows the second someone he isn't completely familiar with looks near him.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    ceres wrote: »
    I think it's harder because my son loves it. He gets sad if he doesn't get surprise-hugged every so often, or if I don't pick him up out of nowhere. It reminds him I love him, I think, to have that kind of very physical attention, and he's always, always been like that. He's getting too big for me to swoop in and pick him up very often, but I still try. She's like "I'm trying to watch MLP here what are you doing." She just wants the company. Sometimes I think my son would meld with me to become one if he could. Of course they're different people, but it still surprises me just how different. Things that bring one so much joy just vaguely annoy the other. It's very confusing sometimes.

    Speaking of my son being a physical guy, all his humor is like that too. He's natural clown, and I don't mean in the class-clown or birthday party-clown kind of way.. I mean in the old-fashioned circus show kind of way, like you might see at Cirque du Soleil. In fact, I might not have recognized it if I hadn't seen a few Cirque shows. He loves it and he just wants to make people laugh. I'd love to find an outlet for him to explore it that isn't 5 minutes before he needs to school and he's not dressed yet. Anyone have any ideas where I might find that kind of thing?

    I know it isn't exactly what you're looking for, but I think judo would teach him a lot about tumbling around and getting back up in creative ways. There are circus courses for kids where they combine gymnastics, balancing acts with showmanship. Perhaps not in your area, though.

  • JaysonFourJaysonFour Classy Monster Kitteh Registered User regular
    Ellie is currently in a "chicken nuggets and chips/fries" "spaghetti" or "scrambled eggs" rotation.

    But then she'll also ask for cauliflower, cherry tomatoes, and cucumber. This child will take a full third of a telegraph cucumber in hand and just sit on the sofa and take giant bites out of it like it's a lollipop.

    My niece is the same way- though she was eating her cherry tomatoes (she'd open one container at the store and easily demolish about half of it before we got it to the register, and some days her carton didn't even make it all the way home) also loved to grab the bigger tomatoes we used for BLTs and hamburgers and just chomp them like apples. Though they were never as sweet as hers, so she'd eat a good half of one and then just leave it wherever- on her desk, in one of the cubbyholes by the TV, on uncle Jay-Jay's mousepad when her and mommy were done playing her princess game...

    Though she used to do the same thing with cucumber- you get a nice-sized cucumber, peel the top half or third or so, and she just attacks it like a shark.

    And yes, she does have a few things she regularly asks for for dinner- pepperoni pizza, chicken nuggets, tacos and hamburgers seem to be making the rounds quite a bit- she doesn't overdo it on the candy. If we get pizza or tacos, we always hold a little back of her favorites- a ten-piece chicken nuggets and barbecue sauce, two small slices of pizza or two small tacos- that she takes as a lunchtime treat with water, sliced veggies, cheese sticks, applesauce and lactose-free milk. (Lactose-free milk is pretty good, but it doesn't make pudding worth a darn...)

    It might look unhealthy, but we tend to time pizza and tacos when something unbelievable shows up on her school lunch- like egg salad sandwiches- mostly because she doesn't like it, and egg salad and a little bit of heat equals bad, terrible stomach surprises... But with the amount of running around she does, she seems to burn it all off and we know she's not skipping it and then screaming for chicken nuggets on the way home.

    Fiber One Breakfast Brownies are an absolute godsend. She sees double-fudge chocolate and oatmeal and raisins that she gets for a snack. We see a decent amount of fiber and other wonderful things that she wouldn't get in a bowl of sugary garbage cereal- plus a solid load of fiber and minus a bunch of processed sugar.

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