[Kids] are the best of times, the worst of times

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  • DisruptedCapitalistDisruptedCapitalist rugged, weathered Registered User regular
    Nope, that's totally typical. In fact 5ish was the age when my eldest asked why her little sister was never punished. (It's because her little sister was 10 months old.)


    MNC DoverElvenshaeMulysaSemproniusJaysonFour
  • SmrtnikSmrtnik job boli zub Registered User regular
    edited May 17
    Our 4yo doesn't listen either, she's in her own world unless a key phraze she cares about gets past her filter, like "sweet treat", "tv", etc.. i think it's pretty typical for that age.

    TBF, i don't think your kid was trying to kill her brother, just not realizing it could hurt him bad. Maybe talk with her calmly about it when everyone can down? One thing we say, to the point where she started using it on us is "I'm not mad at you, I'm frustrated at the situation".

    Smrtnik on
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  • sponospono Mining for Nose Diamonds Registered User regular
    m!ttens wrote: »
    Sleep rant
    Our daughter has been an amazing sleeper pretty much her whole life, up until about 4 nights ago. I think it has something to do with her napping (or lack thereof) schedule. She had been a good 2 nap per day kid, and in the before times, the long long ago, her daycare was starting to transition to 1 nap per day. That didn't work great when we started shelter in place so we moved back to 2 per day and everything was fine up until this week. On Wednesday she wanted to stay up until after lunch, then it was a bit of a trial to get her down but then she slept from 12:30 to almost 3:00. Thursday was okay, she did 2 brief naps, one in the morning and one shortly after lunch. Friday was another weird one, she fell asleep early (10:30 am) and slept until almost 1:00. Today has been a nightmare where she has been acting tired but refusing to nap all day until eventually she passed out on the couch next to me for 45 minutes this afternoon and has been screaming (since we put her to bed 90 minutes ago. Thought she might still be hungry so we got her another cup of milk and read some stories and did some snuggles but she went from quiet and pleasant to rage screaming as soon as I put her into her crib :bigfrown:

    please send help

    We get that sometimes too

    Random screaming in the middle of the night, then we eventually cave and pick him up and he's fine, then try to put him down and it's all screaming again

    Sometimes it turns out to be teething pain, we assume, because a dose of Tylenol does the trick. Of course, this is after rocking him in the chair for half an hour in the dark

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  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    Acting like they're deaf is a strong move: she definitely heard you but whatchu gonna do boutit?

    SmrtnikDisruptedCapitalistBrodymrpaku
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Ellie has gone back to daycare this morning.

    There was a lot of tears, a lot of "i'm scared. I'm worried. I want to stay home"

    The house is eerily quiet. and I do miss her. but I know that this is the best thing for us all. I can't teach her, she won't listen if I tried. She needs to be out with friends. and with teachers and socialising.

    But

    It's very quiet.

    DaMoonRulzElvenshaeVivixennesponoDisruptedCapitalistdavidsdurionsmageormike
  • DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    Changed the crib to the toddler bed today at the wife's behest. I'm pretty ehhhhh about it and think Mrs Moon is just having a case of comparing Athena to her cousin and expecting what worked for Rhys to work for Athena.

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  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    Ellie has gone back to daycare this morning.

    There was a lot of tears, a lot of "i'm scared. I'm worried. I want to stay home"

    The house is eerily quiet. and I do miss her. but I know that this is the best thing for us all. I can't teach her, she won't listen if I tried. She needs to be out with friends. and with teachers and socialising.

    But

    It's very quiet.

    Stay strong, you made the right decision.

    Me and my wife are both nurses so Ripley has been in daycare without interruption.

    I am in the business of saving lives.
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    MegaMan001 wrote: »
    Ellie has gone back to daycare this morning.

    There was a lot of tears, a lot of "i'm scared. I'm worried. I want to stay home"

    The house is eerily quiet. and I do miss her. but I know that this is the best thing for us all. I can't teach her, she won't listen if I tried. She needs to be out with friends. and with teachers and socialising.

    But

    It's very quiet.

    Stay strong, you made the right decision.

    Me and my wife are both nurses so Ripley has been in daycare without interruption.

    I've been fortunate, knowing that I can have her home with us both, while we're both working from home, both safe. in a country that seems to be doing things right.

    and she came home in a great mood tonight and ignored my questions as is normal, so that's ok.

    Kayne Red RobeBrodydavidsdurionsmrpakuJaysonFour
  • SharpyVIISharpyVII Registered User regular
    Ugh, before the pandemic our son was in nursery on a flexible place.

    I work shifts including weekends so I have a lot of time off during the week. My shifts rotate so I'm off different days every week.

    The nursery let us send a list of dates we needed him to be in each month. So some weeks he was in for two days and two half days, other weeks he was only in for one day.

    They're re opening 1st June and have informed us that they might be withdrawing flexible places.

    We can't afford to send him in full time and choosing the same days each week doesn't work because some weeks we'll both be at work during the day.

    We won't know until next week but it's very frustrating.

  • Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo Like a bad lobster in a dark cellar Registered User regular
    Yeah we had an email from preschool saying they will fully reopen in October. Hurray

    The child minder had no date for reopening!

    The nursery is not accepting new places!

    The idea was Nending would be at nursery+childminder from this week. And Burpette would ride preschool+childminder until school starts

    I am really not sure what we'll do when we're expected back in the office

    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
  • MulysaSemproniusMulysaSempronius but also susie nyRegistered User regular
    Work is talking about making plans to re-open in June, and summer camps are one-by-one "moving online"
    This is not sustainable.

    If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
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  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    Oh boy, online summer camp.

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  • SharpyVIISharpyVII Registered User regular
    Fortunately my wife's work is happy for the moment for my wife to work from home and look after our son at the same time when needed.

    Though obviously this can't be a permanent arrangement.

    Not many nurseries do flexible placements so if our nursery ditches them entirely we're really running out of options for childcare.

  • BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    i get to meet my niece for the first time this sunday

    i am going to give her my very chewed, very loved blue rabbit soft toy i had as a baby

    mrpakuBrodyhonovereTayaPeenMegaMan001
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    I'm having a mental quandry.

    We had Ellie's best friend over on Saturday for the first time in like 7 weeks. She's gone back to daycare yesterday, he has not yet.

    but when they were over on Saturday we were talking as parents do about daycare and kids and their interactions etc. And I made mention that Ellie was nervous about having T over to play becuase she didn't know how to play with him and she didn't want him to be mean. And that she was nervous about going back to daycare because she didn't want her friend to make her cry.

    Which, she's told me before that T and G (her 2 besties) make her cry when they're playing and I figured it wasn't as bad as she made out. We always have told her to tell her friend to stop, that she doens't like that. and if they keep doing it to tell the teacher.

    Well T's mom actually told me the other day that they knew all about T & G teasing Ellie. that Thomas has told them before "G and I like to make fun of Ellie until she cries".

    And I'm... still mulling over it. Like, if you know that your child is doing this, they have told you that they are doing this, why have you not told me before? Or even mentioned it? Or asked me "Has Ellie mentioned that T makes her cry?"

    Am I wrong to be wary? unsure? I'm not really sure of this feeling that I'm feeling but I know it's not very positive. It's like the rumblings of a mama bear in the back of my head and they keep getting louder the more I think on this, but I don't know if they're justified, or I'm just working myself up?


    The kids are all 4 for reference.

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  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    I'm having a mental quandry.

    We had Ellie's best friend over on Saturday for the first time in like 7 weeks. She's gone back to daycare yesterday, he has not yet.

    but when they were over on Saturday we were talking as parents do about daycare and kids and their interactions etc. And I made mention that Ellie was nervous about having T over to play becuase she didn't know how to play with him and she didn't want him to be mean. And that she was nervous about going back to daycare because she didn't want her friend to make her cry.

    Which, she's told me before that T and G (her 2 besties) make her cry when they're playing and I figured it wasn't as bad as she made out. We always have told her to tell her friend to stop, that she doens't like that. and if they keep doing it to tell the teacher.

    Well T's mom actually told me the other day that they knew all about T & G teasing Ellie. that Thomas has told them before "G and I like to make fun of Ellie until she cries".

    And I'm... still mulling over it. Like, if you know that your child is doing this, they have told you that they are doing this, why have you not told me before? Or even mentioned it? Or asked me "Has Ellie mentioned that T makes her cry?"

    Am I wrong to be wary? unsure? I'm not really sure of this feeling that I'm feeling but I know it's not very positive. It's like the rumblings of a mama bear in the back of my head and they keep getting louder the more I think on this, but I don't know if they're justified, or I'm just working myself up?


    The kids are all 4 for reference.

    This isn't first-hand experience speaking, but honestly I'd be less concerned about not telling you, because yeah it'd be nice but it's not a huge issue. The bigger issue would be the other parents not taking actions to try and improve that behavior. Is that the type of influence you're comfortable Ellie being around (both the behavior of her friends being normalized and the behavior of the parents in allowing it to happen)?

    In the end only you can answer that, because we only have tiny little slices of the situation here, but that's what would be going through my mind mostly.

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  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    @lonelyahava the daycare should pay attention to children who are picking on other children, it is harmful behaviour for everyone involved. The other parents are probably not taking this as seriously as they should because their little angel is doing something mean for the first time. I think I've written it before in this thread, but your kid will have to learn something counter-intuitive: not everyone who wants to 'play' with you, wants to be friends with you. If T & G want to play with Ellie just to make her cry, they are not her friends and she does not have to play with them.

    ---

    Came here to complain again about my struggles. Little King is an utter nightmare around bedtime and in the morning. He goes ballistic at us when it is bedtime and he never wants to leave the house. He was fighting us so much yesterday night that we put him under a cold shower for a second to snap him out of it. We never had to do that before and it barely made a difference any way. He was very clearly very very tired, yet he woke up early this morning and was playing by himself until it was time to wake up. He was totally fine until he had to go to daycare and he was flipping out again.

    Our daycare lady tells us he is very cheerful and well-behaved during the day, but he is saving all his anger to fight us in the evenings now. :( It honestly makes me cry, and it makes us all so stressed out. My partner (with depression and anger management issues) is trying her hardest to not just punch him the face and call him names, but I need to be in the room with them and did have to step in to prevent my partner from giving in to her messed up thoughts.

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  • a5ehrena5ehren AtlantaRegistered User regular
    kime wrote: »
    I'm having a mental quandry.

    We had Ellie's best friend over on Saturday for the first time in like 7 weeks. She's gone back to daycare yesterday, he has not yet.

    but when they were over on Saturday we were talking as parents do about daycare and kids and their interactions etc. And I made mention that Ellie was nervous about having T over to play becuase she didn't know how to play with him and she didn't want him to be mean. And that she was nervous about going back to daycare because she didn't want her friend to make her cry.

    Which, she's told me before that T and G (her 2 besties) make her cry when they're playing and I figured it wasn't as bad as she made out. We always have told her to tell her friend to stop, that she doens't like that. and if they keep doing it to tell the teacher.

    Well T's mom actually told me the other day that they knew all about T & G teasing Ellie. that Thomas has told them before "G and I like to make fun of Ellie until she cries".

    And I'm... still mulling over it. Like, if you know that your child is doing this, they have told you that they are doing this, why have you not told me before? Or even mentioned it? Or asked me "Has Ellie mentioned that T makes her cry?"

    Am I wrong to be wary? unsure? I'm not really sure of this feeling that I'm feeling but I know it's not very positive. It's like the rumblings of a mama bear in the back of my head and they keep getting louder the more I think on this, but I don't know if they're justified, or I'm just working myself up?


    The kids are all 4 for reference.

    This isn't first-hand experience speaking, but honestly I'd be less concerned about not telling you, because yeah it'd be nice but it's not a huge issue. The bigger issue would be the other parents not taking actions to try and improve that behavior. Is that the type of influence you're comfortable Ellie being around (both the behavior of her friends being normalized and the behavior of the parents in allowing it to happen)?

    In the end only you can answer that, because we only have tiny little slices of the situation here, but that's what would be going through my mind mostly.

    The daycare should be stepping in here as well. I don't really expect them to "teach" in the normal school sense, but I don't think it is too much to ask for them to notice bullying and shut it down.

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  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    Also, sometimes kids have a hard time separating good v bad attention and filtering properly to realize that's not a good thing.
    We had similar problems with our son and his best friends, so we tried to get him to talk about what a good friend does vs what a bad friend does then match up so he could make his own choices.
    In our case our son had neglected to mention his own actions against others (which we put a stop to) and observed enough to see the group were more like brothers in their play (rough but inseparable) instead of ganging up.
    I'd definitely recommend talking to daycare as they will likely have their own observations to share. In our case they had instituted a number of rules and other agreements to ensure there were no serious issues and were very happy we wanted to work on it with them.
    I've found that barring serious risks, most behavioral stuff will only be shared if you ask because some parents are batshit insane.

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  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    yeah the daycare basically tells us that they are playing as most kids would play.

    Ellie will speak up for herself and will tell the teachers when something is happening that she doesn't like, and the teachers will tell us about it. Or did before lockdown, i haven't been to pick her up yet as she only wants her father in all things right now and not me, but that's another story. Or rather an ongoing story.

    Thanks for your thoughts, folks. it's all still a bit new right now with her and daycare. it's only been 3 days and not all the kids are back and they're all now in slightly smaller groups in the classrooms. So...


    Apparently they did lots of dancing yesterday.

  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    Did a drive through at the Kid's school today, where they got to wave to their teacher's and TAs, and have gifts and work stuff for the summer loaded into our trunk. There were a ton of pictures and projects, reports cards, and tools for the summer in there. The Bigs were totally thrilled to see their teacher's and the other staff, although it was obviously all very bittersweet- I had to stop Middle Guy getting out of the car to go give hugs, and we accidentally (because we can't goddamn find the twenty I've made when we need *two* of them right now) didn't bring masks in the morning because no one mentioned that windows were getting rolled down, so I felt like a bit of an asshole for that part being cut out because I dropped the ball

    But Little Man got a necklace with a guitar on it from his awesome and patient and persistent teacher that he'll wear until it completely breaks, and Middle Guy got to see his fantastic teacher and TA and got, among other things, a charming wind-up, Lyle-the-Crocodile looking dinosaur that I will *totally* steal or trade off him the second he doesn't call my bullshit on obviously trying to get it off him (that's a lie- he'll love it until it breaks within 48 hours, and we will *both* will be very sad about it)

    I can already tell that the kids are gonna sleep better tonight, having seen their teachers and school and realizing that everyone else is still out there and missing them. I've been nothing but impressed with my kid's school and everything they've done to normalize all this for them right now

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  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    Laat night Little King did not go ballistic! Progress!

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  • SharpyVIISharpyVII Registered User regular
    Look little baby, I know you want to show off all your new standing skills but almost midnight is not the time to do it.

    He was just stood in his cot walking round and round.....

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  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    are you not entertained, father? Are you not amazed and impressed by me?


    Thank god for Daycare. Ellie has eaten more in the last 2 days than I think she did the entire lockdown. She actually finished her scrambled eggs and her rice from dinner!

    I'm so happy.

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  • SporkAndrewSporkAndrew Registered User, ClubPA regular
    SharpyVII wrote: »
    Look little baby, I know you want to show off all your new standing skills but almost midnight is not the time to do it.

    He was just stood in his cot walking round and round.....

    Usually that's because they've got the "standing" figured out, but haven't quite got the hang of "sitting down"

    There were a few nights where we'd have to go rescue our absolutely exhausted baby who was sobbing his little heart out because he couldn't manage to get back down after standing up

    The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin
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  • PeenPeen tw1tch0rz occasionallyRegistered User regular
    Also if he isn't fussing and is just trying out his new wheels, let him go if it's an option! It made our lives a lot easier when we realized that we could just leave our kids alone unless they were crying because sometimes they needed to talk to themselves for a minute or go for a crib stroll before settling back down.

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  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    Peen wrote: »
    Also if he isn't fussing and is just trying out his new wheels, let him go if it's an option! It made our lives a lot easier when we realized that we could just leave our kids alone unless they were crying because sometimes they needed to talk to themselves for a minute or go for a crib stroll before settling back down.

    Sapling will sit in her crib and talk to her stuffed animals for a half hour or so (often longer) before finally settling down to sleep.

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  • SmrtnikSmrtnik job boli zub Registered User regular
    Brody wrote: »
    Peen wrote: »
    Also if he isn't fussing and is just trying out his new wheels, let him go if it's an option! It made our lives a lot easier when we realized that we could just leave our kids alone unless they were crying because sometimes they needed to talk to themselves for a minute or go for a crib stroll before settling back down.

    Sapling will sit in her crib and talk to her stuffed animals for a half hour or so (often longer) before finally settling down to sleep.

    My daughter used to sing to herself (loud and very off-key) for hours with the lights off until my son was born and we put him in the same room and she was immediately quiet to not want him up.

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  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    Our son would sometimes go out, turn on his light, play for a while, then turn out his light and go to sleep. We used to intervene until we realized he just had to do some things before sleep so we left him alone after.

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  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    So Bean has started remembering and singing songs from his tv shows.

    His current two big hits are these



    The latter probably just because he's obsessed with counting right now. When I take him out in the stroller, it's only a matter of time before he's gleefully yelling "ONETWOTHREEFOURFIVESIX", even when we're inside a nice quiet store.

    Thankfully people think it's very cute

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  • SharpyVIISharpyVII Registered User regular
    One year old today, Christ that's gone bloody quick!

    5yrkcn829l5n.jpg

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  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    Brody wrote: »
    Peen wrote: »
    Also if he isn't fussing and is just trying out his new wheels, let him go if it's an option! It made our lives a lot easier when we realized that we could just leave our kids alone unless they were crying because sometimes they needed to talk to themselves for a minute or go for a crib stroll before settling back down.

    Sapling will sit in her crib and talk to her stuffed animals for a half hour or so (often longer) before finally settling down to sleep.

    Same.

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  • BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    met this one for the first time today
    ajoc3n7dbfti.jpeg

    5 weeks old, very cuddly and chill

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  • Banzai5150Banzai5150 Registered User regular
    For all Intents and Porpoises school is over this year. My 15 year old made 4 A's and 2 B's with my doing the school teacher thing. His best grades to date. Please do not have me doing this again in the Fall!!!

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  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    Me: Want me to grab you a beer?
    Wife:...sure, that sounds great!
    Middle Guy: (through a mouthful of pizza) Mmm, can you grab me a beer, too?

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  • FiggyFiggy Registered User regular
    mrpaku wrote: »
    Me: Want me to grab you a beer?
    Wife:...sure, that sounds great!
    Middle Guy: (through a mouthful of pizza) Mmm, can you grab me a beer, too?

    So how did he like the beer?

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  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    Figgy wrote: »
    mrpaku wrote: »
    Me: Want me to grab you a beer?
    Wife:...sure, that sounds great!
    Middle Guy: (through a mouthful of pizza) Mmm, can you grab me a beer, too?

    So how did he like the beer?

    My dad always gave us a sip of his beer when we asked, and it helped me cement the idea that beer is gross and tastes bad for the first 25 years or so of my life.

    "I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."

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  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Welp

    Ellie finally asked last night.

    "Mommy, can I sleep in just undies?"


    So. I guess we're doing night training now.

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  • FiggyFiggy Registered User regular
    Oh hey, our Ellie ripped her diaper off at nap today. She's still one though, so very different end result.

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