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Kids/Parenting: It’s fine, everything is fine.

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Posts

  • amethystoakamethystoak Registered User regular
    Corvus wrote: »
    MNC Dover wrote: »
    My son threw up sometime last night and didn't wake anyone up. His hair, sheets, and PJs were coated in dried vomit. So happy father's day to me. :bigg

    My biggest warning to people expecting their first is “there are a lot of fluids”

    Can confirm. Parenting is exactly like being in the splash zone of a SeaWorld show. Except there are less people being murdered by orcas. Not none... but less.

    Elvenshae
  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    Corvus wrote: »
    MNC Dover wrote: »
    My son threw up sometime last night and didn't wake anyone up. His hair, sheets, and PJs were coated in dried vomit. So happy father's day to me. :bigg

    My biggest warning to people expecting their first is “there are a lot of fluids”

    Can confirm. Parenting is exactly like being in the splash zone of a SeaWorld show. Except there are less people being murdered by orcas. Not none... but less.

    My first intro for new parents is:
    If your child can produce something like phlegm, poop, vomit etc. It will be on you. Just accept it now as there's no preventing it.

    Elvenshae
  • HevachHevach Registered User regular
    There comes a point where it just stops bothering you forever. You will know this has happened when you notice something on your hand and you genuinely consider just finishing your meal before washing it off.

    schussCroakerBCBrodyAimCorvusAntinumericElvenshaeShadowfireDisruptedCapitalistPeen
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    There is no "better" just "different".

    The things that panic you with a newborn give way to things that panic you with a toddler, give way to things with a kid, etc etc

    There's a lot of joy and happiness shopping the way, but there is always going to be a low simmer of anxiety and panic.


    And also fluids

    kimeBrodyElvenshae
  • AimAim Registered User regular
    There is no "better" just "different".

    The things that panic you with a newborn give way to things that panic you with a toddler, give way to things with a kid, etc etc

    There's a lot of joy and happiness shopping the way, but there is always going to be a low simmer of anxiety and panic.


    And also fluids

    I mean, it's not all fluids.

    ...there's solids as well.

    AntinumericElvenshae
  • CarpyCarpy Registered User regular
    I just think of it as a square/rectangle sort of deal, cause if I'm dealing with a solid it's never actually as solid as I'd prefer

  • CelestialBadgerCelestialBadger Registered User regular
    Constipation. Too solid, and also gross to deal with.

  • dennisdennis Executive Peasant Registered User regular
    Today was not only Father's Day, but my anniversary. As the children were screaming at each other, I told me wife that it was a day of reflection on the choices I've made.

    MichaelLCBrodyAimHappylilElfMNC DoveramethystoakCorvusElvenshaeShadowfireDisruptedCapitalistJaysonFourkimePeen
  • urahonkyurahonky Dayton, OHRegistered User regular
    dennis wrote: »
    Today was not only Father's Day, but my anniversary. As the children were screaming at each other, I told me wife that it was a day of reflection on the choices I've made.

    Hey I had the same conversation! Haha.

    dennis
  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    Today was a hard father's day for me. Started with throw-up and baths, transitioned into crying a screaming during a diaper change, into the breaking of a screen window, and finally a bedtime struggle.

    I'm fucking beat. Happy father's day!

    Legends of Runeterra: MNCdover #moc
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  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    Aim wrote: »
    There is no "better" just "different".

    The things that panic you with a newborn give way to things that panic you with a toddler, give way to things with a kid, etc etc

    There's a lot of joy and happiness shopping the way, but there is always going to be a low simmer of anxiety and panic.


    And also fluids

    I mean, it's not all fluids.

    ...there's solids as well.

    Don’t forget the gasses!

    :so_raven:
  • Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    Corvus wrote: »
    Aim wrote: »
    There is no "better" just "different".

    The things that panic you with a newborn give way to things that panic you with a toddler, give way to things with a kid, etc etc

    There's a lot of joy and happiness shopping the way, but there is always going to be a low simmer of anxiety and panic.


    And also fluids

    I mean, it's not all fluids.

    ...there's solids as well.

    Don’t forget the gasses!

    Gases are a fluid

    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
  • CroakerBCCroakerBC TorontoRegistered User regular

    Corvus wrote: »
    Aim wrote: »
    There is no "better" just "different".

    The things that panic you with a newborn give way to things that panic you with a toddler, give way to things with a kid, etc etc

    There's a lot of joy and happiness shopping the way, but there is always going to be a low simmer of anxiety and panic.


    And also fluids

    I mean, it's not all fluids.

    ...there's solids as well.

    Don’t forget the gasses!

    On a related note, yesterday was Fathers Dsy, and today is my birthday. Yesterday we spent in the hospital, as the small one was running a high fever. Today started with an explosive diaper detonation, surrounded by all of the aforementioned solids and gasses.

    Then, after cleaning him up, he spit up in my hair.

    Got the triple!

    amethystoakDisruptedCapitalistMNC DoverElvenshaedennisJaysonFourAimShadowfireHappylilElfMechMantis
  • tbloxhamtbloxham Registered User regular
    My younger son wanted to give me a hug while we were putting him to bed, but then decided while he was doing it he wanted to climb over me and managed to knee me right in the throat, leaving me gasping for air for a minute while he bounced around the room.

    But, I did get a big hug, so it was probably worth it ;)

    "That is cool" - Abraham Lincoln
    ElvenshaeCroakerBCMNC DoverAimShadowfirekimedjmitchellawobblyheadedbob
  • Gabriel_PittGabriel_Pitt (effective against the Irish) Registered User regular
    kime wrote: »

    Then, after cleaning him up, he spit up in my hair.

    Got the triple!

    Haha, just be bald! Then what can he do?

  • CarpyCarpy Registered User regular
    Someone around me has a monkeys paw. For like the first 6 weeks we've had #3 at home when they'd wake up in the middle of the night they'd go instantly from sleeping to blood curdling hangry screams.

    Me, being a sensible person who enjoys sleep and calm wakeups, expressed a desire for #3 to wake up a little bit slower so I could make a bottle before the screaming started.

    The universe, being a cruel and fickle place, has decreed that #3 now needs an hour long runway to wake up and that said hour will be spent making noises that instantly wake me up.

    Kayne Red RobeCroakerBCAim
  • oldmankenoldmanken Registered User regular
    We’re on our first big vacation with our daughter (2.5 years old), and today was our flying day. Only a short one from TX to NYC, but we are packed for two weeks, and my god what a shit show!

    My kiddo was great, but I am so used to doing work trips (though not in a while) that I was wholly unprepared for how terrible airports can be with a kid in tow. Not to mention trying to keep her masked up.

    She’s been a trooper though, as she’s been cooped up in a chair for most of the day. We got to our hotel outside NYC, and she was running around touching everything, and I’m like, ‘Yeah, go nuts, you earned it.’

    Here’s hoping she can sleep through in a crib next to our bed. We’re two hours past normal bed time, but she just passed the hell out, so fingers crossed.

    ElvenshaeShadowfiredennisCarpyJebus314MNC DoverKetarHedgethornSummaryJudgmentdjmitchellaMichaelLCkimebrynhrtmn
  • HevachHevach Registered User regular
    edited July 17
    My kid showed me how to upload stuff to YouTube. I mean, I already *knew* but, "I don't know how," no longer works as an answer when he says, "Michael's daddy has a better Xbox than you AND he has 25,000 suscriders." Damn kid still wets the bed and he was able to carefully and painstakingly walk me through posting a Kerbal Space Program clip to Youtube (If I didn't actually know his explanation wasn't *quite* good enough but still, "Daddy you need to make a dumb nail or you look like a noooooooooob!")

    Hevach on
    CarpyKayne Red RobeCelestialBadgerJebus314schussJaysonFourKetarElvenshaeShadowfireZombie GandhidjmitchellaMichaelLCBrodykime
  • CelestialBadgerCelestialBadger Registered User regular
    Now you have a social media manager, Hevach!

    HevachLindElvenshaehonovereBrody
  • HevachHevach Registered User regular
    "Hey buddy, do you want a split of my ad revenue?" "NO I WANT PANCAKES!"

    Kid knows a sucker deal when he sees one.

    Kayne Red RobeJebus314schussCelestialBadgerHappylilElfElvenshaeShadowfireBrody
  • dennisdennis Executive Peasant Registered User regular
    My son had his belated 10 year birthday "party" (really just one friend over, because that's how he rolls) today. The friend (who is also non-neurotypical) has a mask aversion so we brought the legos out to the shaded area of the patio and they played on the top of a blanket. He was especially happy to share his awesome new pneumatic legos. For presents, his friend got him some computer parts (a floppy drive for one, I think) from a local surplus store. Then they started taking them apart and figuring out how they worked.

    Kayne Red RobeAiouaCroakerBCCarpyJaysonFourSleepKetarCelestialBadgerHappylilElfElvenshaeoldmankenShadowfireZombie GandhiMNC DoverCogdjmitchellaAimCalicaDisruptedCapitalistBrodykimebrynhrtmn
  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    Posting this in both parenting threads due to hype:

    My kids were at grandma's house this weekend, and on Sunday, my son wasn't wearing a diaper. I've been trying to push him in this direction for a while and he's been really good about sitting down and using his toilet. But the moment I tried pulling up his underwear without a diaper, he went into a frenzied panic attack.

    So what changed? Apparently the were at the YMCA and another grandma was their with her grandson of about the same age. The ladies were talking and the other woman politely told my son that boys his age don't need to wear diapers. That was it. He literally said, "OK" and was cool all day without wearing a diaper. When he felt the urge to pee, he asked to go to the bathroom. He did have a poop accident, but that's to be expected.

    But, WTF? How does this wise old YMCA woman do what I cannot? Probably because she's a stranger and not a parent. Regardless, are we actually nearing the end of the diaper phase?! HYPE!

    Legends of Runeterra: MNCdover #moc
    Switch ID: MNC Dover SW-1154-3107-1051
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    dennisurahonkyCarpyElvenshaeKetardjmitchellamatt has a problemAimCauldJaysonFourShadowfireBanzai5150DisruptedCapitalist
  • CogCog Registered User regular
    edited July 19
    Sprocket is 9 now.

    In 5 years she can learn to drive.

    She's halfway to 18.

    What the fuck.

    Cog on
    dennisAimlonelyahavaJaysonFourMichaelLCElvenshaeDisruptedCapitalistBrodyelectricitylikesmekimehonovereAntinumeric
  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    One week later follow up:

    Yesterday I decided to let my son go diaperless from 2pm until bedtime. I decided he'd wear underwear so I'm cleaning less clothes. He only had one pee accident. w00t! And today we've had him diaperless since he woke up and have so far had no accidents and even got a poop in the toilet!

    Man, parenting posts make us sound like we're celebrating the weirdest things. :biggrin:

    Legends of Runeterra: MNCdover #moc
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    ElvenshaeShadowfireCroakerBCCarpyAimlonelyahavaNobodydennisschussKayne Red RobeJaysonFourkimehonoveredjmitchellaMichaelLCBanzai5150
  • AimAim Registered User regular
    We have friends that are expecting their first kid. We told them that they'll be surprised how much of your conversation will be about poop

    ElvenshaeMNC DoverAntinumeric
  • SoggybiscuitSoggybiscuit 4.5 MV of POWER! Registered User regular
    Aim wrote: »
    We have friends that are expecting their first kid. We told them that they'll be surprised how much of your conversation will be about poop

    Unless the amount of poop out a kid exceeds the amount from 3 dachsunds, our conversations probably wont be that different.

    My wife has the anatomy scan tomorrow and this is the one appointment I will actually be able to go to at the OBGYN. I missed basically everything (heartbeat, sex, etc.) because of COVID restrictions, so I am actually pretty excited about this. I've never heard my daughter's heartbeat.

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    CarpyAimdennisKayne Red RobekimeAntinumericDisruptedCapitalistdjmitchella
  • Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    Getting a suppository up a not-quite-two year old's arse is a tricky thing I'd not tried before. She did not approve of this at all.

    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
    matt has a problemKayne Red RobeDisruptedCapitalistBanzai5150
  • CarpyCarpy Registered User regular
    edited July 25
    Not chat

    Carpy on
  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    Getting a suppository up a not-quite-two year old's arse is a tricky thing I'd not tried before. She did not approve of this at all.

    Parenting: It’s mostly about butts!

    Mojo_JojodennisschussKayne Red RobeAiouaBrodykimeDisruptedCapitalistCog
  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    And I jinxed it. He pooped in his underwear just now. Thankfully it was a solid log that I easily transferred to the toilet, so I had minimal clean-up. Growing pains of training.

    Legends of Runeterra: MNCdover #moc
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    ElvenshaeCarpyBrodyAimDisruptedCapitalist
  • CroakerBCCroakerBC TorontoRegistered User regular
    Aim wrote: »
    We have friends that are expecting their first kid. We told them that they'll be surprised how much of your conversation will be about poop

    Unless the amount of poop out a kid exceeds the amount from 3 dachsunds, our conversations probably wont be that different.

    My wife has the anatomy scan tomorrow and this is the one appointment I will actually be able to go to at the OBGYN. I missed basically everything (heartbeat, sex, etc.) because of COVID restrictions, so I am actually pretty excited about this. I've never heard my daughter's heartbeat.

    It probably doesn’t exceed it in quantity, but the chance that your face will be hit by it is dramatically higher with babies, I think.

    We only had a couple of firehose craps so far, both around 3-4am, but they are seared into my brain.

    Elvenshae
  • matt has a problemmatt has a problem Points to 'off' Points to 'on'Registered User regular
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    Getting a suppository up a not-quite-two year old's arse is a tricky thing I'd not tried before. She did not approve of this at all.

    There are more than a few things that are absolutely required in the care of a baby that would likely violate the Geneva convention otherwise.

    nibXTE7.png
    dennis
  • CarpyCarpy Registered User regular
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    Getting a suppository up a not-quite-two year old's arse is a tricky thing I'd not tried before. She did not approve of this at all.

    There are more than a few things that are absolutely required in the care of a baby that would likely violate the Geneva convention otherwise.

    Trying to apply eye drops to a 3 year old for pink eye....

    Elvenshaematt has a problemurahonky
  • discriderdiscrider Registered User regular
    edited July 25
    ..
    Are you not meant to just sit on them?

    I've had moderate success letting him squeeze it into his own eye recently though.

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  • matt has a problemmatt has a problem Points to 'off' Points to 'on'Registered User regular
    Carpy wrote: »
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    Getting a suppository up a not-quite-two year old's arse is a tricky thing I'd not tried before. She did not approve of this at all.

    There are more than a few things that are absolutely required in the care of a baby that would likely violate the Geneva convention otherwise.

    Trying to apply eye drops to a 3 year old for pink eye....

    Henry had to get his throat scoped at about age 2 to check his adenoids, which involved me having to hold him in a combination bear hug headlock while he thrashed as the doctor slid it in his nose and down his throat.

    nibXTE7.png
  • HevachHevach Registered User regular
    edited July 26
    CroakerBC wrote: »
    Aim wrote: »
    We have friends that are expecting their first kid. We told them that they'll be surprised how much of your conversation will be about poop

    Unless the amount of poop out a kid exceeds the amount from 3 dachsunds, our conversations probably wont be that different.

    My wife has the anatomy scan tomorrow and this is the one appointment I will actually be able to go to at the OBGYN. I missed basically everything (heartbeat, sex, etc.) because of COVID restrictions, so I am actually pretty excited about this. I've never heard my daughter's heartbeat.

    It probably doesn’t exceed it in quantity, but the chance that your face will be hit by it is dramatically higher with babies, I think.

    We only had a couple of firehose craps so far, both around 3-4am, but they are seared into my brain.

    Oh god my first diaper change bringing our oldest home: we set him down in the bassinet and hear prrrfffft! Ok, let's get it changed quick and we can go to bed.

    He wasn't done, and unleashed a torrent in the bassinet. Moved him to a towel on the bed but oh god he wasn't done. Wife takes over and runs him to the changing table leaving a trail down the hallway. And he wasn't done yet.

    That diaper quickly escalated into three loads of laundry and everyone sleeping on the living room floor. Let's see those dachshunds manage that.

    Hevach on
    Kayne Red RobeCarpyBrodyHappylilElfElvenshaeCorvusMNC DoverAimdenniskimehonoverediscriderShadowfireDisruptedCapitalistSoggybiscuitdjmitchellaMichaelLC
  • CarpyCarpy Registered User regular
    Carpy wrote: »
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    Getting a suppository up a not-quite-two year old's arse is a tricky thing I'd not tried before. She did not approve of this at all.

    There are more than a few things that are absolutely required in the care of a baby that would likely violate the Geneva convention otherwise.

    Trying to apply eye drops to a 3 year old for pink eye....

    Henry had to get his throat scoped at about age 2 to check his adenoids, which involved me having to hold him in a combination bear hug headlock while he thrashed as the doctor slid it in his nose and down his throat.

    This sounds absolutely horrid. Having to do the bearhug headlock on the 18 month old for a covid test was bad enough, I cant imagine having to do it for a scope.

    dennisurahonky
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Carpy wrote: »
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    Getting a suppository up a not-quite-two year old's arse is a tricky thing I'd not tried before. She did not approve of this at all.

    There are more than a few things that are absolutely required in the care of a baby that would likely violate the Geneva convention otherwise.

    Trying to apply eye drops to a 3 year old for pink eye....

    getting a nebulizer treatment into the 18 month old who couldn't breathe in the middle fo the night.

    god bless those urgent care nurses and them having bubbles.

    CarpydennisMNC DoverElvenshaeCorvushonovereCauldDisruptedCapitalist
  • honoverehonovere Registered User regular
    Carpy wrote: »
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    Getting a suppository up a not-quite-two year old's arse is a tricky thing I'd not tried before. She did not approve of this at all.

    There are more than a few things that are absolutely required in the care of a baby that would likely violate the Geneva convention otherwise.

    Trying to apply eye drops to a 3 year old for pink eye....

    getting a nebulizer treatment into the 18 month old who couldn't breathe in the middle fo the night.

    god bless those urgent care nurses and them having bubbles.

    Yeah, we had to go to urgent care in the middle of the night when she was a about a year old and got diagnosed with pseudo croup. At least after the battle of the first few minutes she then fell asleep. It was also quite bad for my wife as because of the covid restrictions she had to wait outside and could only stand outside the window and hear the little one scream her heart out.

  • CelestialBadgerCelestialBadger Registered User regular
    Aim wrote: »
    We have friends that are expecting their first kid. We told them that they'll be surprised how much of your conversation will be about poop

    Unless the amount of poop out a kid exceeds the amount from 3 dachsunds, our conversations probably wont be that different.

    It’s much worse because you aren’t trying to train your dachshunds to wear underwear and use the toilet.

    Probably.

    Elvenshae
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