I cant think of a bird that, if it were my size, I could soundly defeat if I wasn't allowed to use tools. Like, maybe i could get in a good heel-first downwards kick on its head or wing and cripple it off the bat, but if I messed up that initial blow or missed with it entirely it'd fuck me up with its beak right quick.
It seems like a human sized sloth would still not be a fearsome foe, you wouldnt feel good about it but I bet you could stomp a human sized sloth to death if you worked yourself up enough
Would the sloth have trees to climb in? Don't underestimate sloths.
I think in a driven survival situation most non-predatory enlarged animals are going to come away from a human attack pretty badly, you go a week without food and youll blast your thumbs into a giant penguins eyeballs and squish its brains for that sweet sweet penguin meat
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StraightziHere we may reign secure, and in my choice,To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered Userregular
Your average giraffe is 16 feet tall and 1800 pounds
But there's square cube law stuff going on here, so a six foot tall giraffe would, if my math is correct (and it probably is not) come in at just about 95 pounds
I feel pretty confident in my ability to beat up a 95 pound giraffe, especially because it would still have like two feet of neck
But if that giraffe is my weight, I imagine it's going to be a fair bit taller, and that begins to sound more imposing
I think you have to factor weight in moreso than height, as weight dictates more about an animal's power and muscles and whatnot whereas lots of things don't have the same body mass ratios as humans so making them the same size makes them WAY puny
I would have said a human sized lump of coral but whoops the coral is already dead
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DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
edited August 2019
I could fuck up a bunch of geese, I bet
they quack a big game but they got hollow bird bones and a neck that's practically built for wringing
as far as people go, I could handle one person of average health, I think. I always carry my penknife with me, so even if I lose, they're gonna get a pretty good shivving
edit: also two average dogs, not like, mastiffs, and one wolf, maybe.
Depressperado on
+1
MaddocI'm Bobbin Threadbare, are you my mother?Registered Userregular
they quack a big game but they got hollow bird bones and a neck that's practically built for wringing
as far as people go, I could handle one person of average health, I think. I always carry my penknife with me, so even if I lose, they're gonna get a pretty good shivving
In this situation, you are naked and have no weapons
I would tear the skull and attached spine from the still warm carcass of a giant goose in one smooth motion in the manner of a Yautja
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StraightziHere we may reign secure, and in my choice,To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered Userregular
Currently I'm thinking a lot about like seals and walruses. They're big, but they're mostly bulky, so going by weight, they're not gonna be too bad.
Of course, they also have famously thick hides and can hold their breath real well, so I'm not really sure how I could defeat one, it's more just like, not getting my shit immediately wrecked.
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MaddocI'm Bobbin Threadbare, are you my mother?Registered Userregular
I feel like in most cases here you're gonna go in through the eyes
Buddy of mine has this story about his first anniversary with his wife. They go up the coast, he rents a beautiful beachhouse. They step out onto the seaside porch, and see that there's a pod of walruses lounging on the beach, sunning themselves. Waves, sun, tranquil sea life - it's so picturesque it's astounding. Husband of the year, best anniversary ever.
And then one of the walruses fuckin' MAULS another one, gores it to death, as all the other walruses bark and scatter and freak the out.
This was within minutes of arriving, and they had three days ahead of them, with a fuckin' walrus corpse in between them and their ocean view.
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DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
Posts
How many and what kind and were they all yours originally
Not the gold ones
But there's square cube law stuff going on here, so a six foot tall giraffe would, if my math is correct (and it probably is not) come in at just about 95 pounds
I feel pretty confident in my ability to beat up a 95 pound giraffe, especially because it would still have like two feet of neck
But if that giraffe is my weight, I imagine it's going to be a fair bit taller, and that begins to sound more imposing
they quack a big game but they got hollow bird bones and a neck that's practically built for wringing
as far as people go, I could handle one person of average health, I think. I always carry my penknife with me, so even if I lose, they're gonna get a pretty good shivving
edit: also two average dogs, not like, mastiffs, and one wolf, maybe.
In this situation, you are naked and have no weapons
Don't fuck with Geese.
I think I could kick a human sized goose ass
and one dog and no wolves.
edit: I'd still fuck those geese up tho.
Of course, they also have famously thick hides and can hold their breath real well, so I'm not really sure how I could defeat one, it's more just like, not getting my shit immediately wrecked.
Otherwise there's a whole lot of animals that will not survive being increased to human size, without me needing to do a damn thing to them
If you could pick any average human mass propirtional animal to be your pet, what would it be
Completely non aggressive, soft and too big to dodge my hand swatting it now
bigfoot
Gazelle
The increased bone density would mean I had a new means of rapid transit; highway speeds with no fuel costs, just give that buddy some grazing space
Praying mantis
And then one of the walruses fuckin' MAULS another one, gores it to death, as all the other walruses bark and scatter and freak the out.
This was within minutes of arriving, and they had three days ahead of them, with a fuckin' walrus corpse in between them and their ocean view.
shrunken T-Rex? I could tame it with some steaks and gentle words and stuff, I bet, and then I'd train him as a mount
They are so fuckin dense that I imagine they will be much more manageable and also can be very affectionate and trainable in their current size
Ain't gonna Grizzly Man me when you're 4 feet tall
I mean, terrifying, but I'm aiming for an edge of terror in all my picks