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Let's get this [job] thread!

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    expendableexpendable Silly Goose Registered User regular
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Fuck, how do you know if a poached egg is done?

    Time and poke it. Gently.


    Come to the food thread, Royce. Join us.

    This is a song for the food thread
    But RoyceSraphim listen closely
    You don't always have to poke it hard
    In fact sometimes that's not right to do
    Sometimes you've got to make some sides
    And fucking give it some seasonings too
    Sometimes ya got to observe
    Sometimes you've got to not serve
    Sometime you've got to say hey
    I'm gonna poke you softly
    I'm gonna prod you gently
    I'm gonna bump you sweetly
    I'm gonna check you discreetly
    And then you say hey I bought you flour
    And then you say wait a minute sally
    I think I got somethin in my teeth
    Could you get it out for me
    That's a pokin' toothpick!
    What's your fave dish?
    That's cool with me
    It's not my favorite
    But I'll cook it for you
    What's your favorite posish?
    I'm not gonna try it
    But I'll watch it on PornHub!
    And then I'm gonna cook you completely
    And then I'll fucking poke you discreetly
    And then I'll fucking eat you completely
    But then I'm gonna poke you hard
    Hard

    Djiem wrote: »
    Lokiamis wrote: »
    So the servers suddenly decide to cramp up during the last six percent.
    Man, the Director will really go out of his way to be a dick to L4D players.
    Steam
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    SleepSleep Registered User regular
    Dys wrote: »
    Sleep wrote: »
    Dys wrote: »
    Hoo boy, this is a first one for me today.

    Anyone ever seen that episode of Stargate where the alien virus takes over the spaceship and they have to power everything off because it spread to everything connected?

    On a completely unrelated note, I feel very sorry for our IT crew. Those poor souls.

    That's stargate Atlantis isn't it.

    It is!

    My fiancée and I actually watched that episode relatively recently so this is a fun coincidence.

    Call up IT and suggest they use naquita to solve the problem.

    naquadah

    Also the solution in this instance was to shut down literally everything, revert every system to backups from before the virus, and then start everything back up.

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    RoyceSraphimRoyceSraphim Registered User regular
    Its like every Royce e_book crystalized, about eggs.

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    DaimarDaimar A Million Feet Tall of Awesome Registered User regular
    Kamiro wrote: »
    But if you turn everything off, the AI living in your network will die :(

    I mean, wouldn't it be in the backup too?

    steam_sig.png
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    thatassemblyguythatassemblyguy Janitor of Technical Debt .Registered User regular
    Kamiro wrote: »
    But if you turn everything off, the AI living in your network will die :(

    No disassemble Johnny-5!

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    RoyceSraphimRoyceSraphim Registered User regular
    Daimar wrote: »
    Kamiro wrote: »
    But if you turn everything off, the AI living in your network will die :(

    I mean, wouldn't it be in the backup too?

    *has epiphany about Ender Wiggin series*

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    JansonJanson Registered User regular
    Janson wrote: »
    Printer guy recognized my My Hero Academia heat-activated mug yesterday so I had to fill it with hot tea to show him the full image! Then I recommended he and his wife watch Mob Psycho 100.

    And I got permission to leave straight after today’s management meeting to go take my kids to Kaiser to get their flu shots!

    Friend of mine teaches literature and writing stuff at a community college and floored one of her students who was like "Well, I mean the thing I kinda want to write about you wouldn't get because it's a show about this kid in a world where everyone has super powers..." and she goes "Boku no Hero Academia, duh. Yes write about that. Please write about something. Do the assignment. "

    See, we watch all these shows with our kids so they know they’re enjoyed by old people.

    In fact Anya found out her substitute teacher last Friday watches MHA and she didn’t think it odd at all!

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    tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited October 2019
    Kamiro wrote: »
    Janson wrote: »
    Printer guy recognized my My Hero Academia heat-activated mug yesterday so I had to fill it with hot tea to show him the full image! Then I recommended he and his wife watch Mob Psycho 100.

    And I got permission to leave straight after today’s management meeting to go take my kids to Kaiser to get their flu shots!

    Friend of mine teaches literature and writing stuff at a community college and floored one of her students who was like "Well, I mean the thing I kinda want to write about you wouldn't get because it's a show about this kid in a world where everyone has super powers..." and she goes "Boku no Hero Academia, duh. Yes write about that. Please write about something. Do the assignment. "

    "Adults can't possibly be into the same things I am... wait, they are? Oh no, my fave is uncool!"

    That time when I was in 2nd grade and we were pretending to be X-Men and the teacher came by and said, "Ok, I'll be Nightcrawler" and we were all like "How do you know about the X-men!?"

    Blew my little mind

    I had a friend in high school who was super into 2-tone ska, which as uncultured suburban australian teens we thought was pretty obscure if not just downright whacky. Anyway she listened to it pretty much non-stop, so when our English teacher asked her to take off the headphones and said "What are you listening to there, anyway" everyone was like "oh dude don't even go there, you won't get it".
    And then got very, very quiet when he started listing off band names.

    tynic on
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    InquisitorInquisitor Registered User regular
    Work refuses to let me fun fact be that I broke my leg knife fighting so it has to be that I taught overseas.

    Laaaaaaaame

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    tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Inquisitor wrote: »
    Work refuses to let me fun fact be that I broke my leg knife fighting so it has to be that I taught overseas.

    Laaaaaaaame

    How can they control your fun facts??
    this is some dystopian shit

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    RoyceSraphimRoyceSraphim Registered User regular
    edited October 2019
    It took all my are strength not to call a coworker a cockroach infestation.

    But I did make it clear to the coworker who's talking to me about formet, that management need to get their ducks in a row to rid us of this infestation

    RoyceSraphim on
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    ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    do you work with Bret Stephens

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    SnicketysnickSnicketysnick The Greatest Hype Man in WesterosRegistered User regular
    Inquisitor wrote: »
    Work refuses to let me fun fact be that I broke my leg knife fighting so it has to be that I taught overseas.

    Laaaaaaaame

    Follow that up with "I was teaching knife fighting and broke my leg one time"

    7qmGNt5.png
    D3 Steam #TeamTangent STO
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    DixonDixon Screwed...possibly doomed CanadaRegistered User regular
    Echo wrote: »
    We're so good at finalizing and signing off here that we do it at least once a week for big projects!

    I love when you have something for review for an exec, they return it back in under 2 seconds with approval then come back in a couple months like 'wtf did we build'

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    mightyjongyomightyjongyo Sour Crrm East Bay, CaliforniaRegistered User regular
    I feel like I'm in the software version of TPS reports -

    "This design doc has some great content in it, but we really need it in this format instead. Can you rewrite it based on this document instead?"
    ...okay but you literally told me to follow this template -
    "Yeah, but what we really need for this customer is this format. When can you have it ready for review?"

    It's been 5 months since I wrote code for work.

    And, unrelated, we had a blood drive going on today. They send out an email at 2:08 saying that they need more donors and walk ins are welcome. Okay, sure it's been a while since I donated. Walk down to the truck, "Oh, we closed at 2:05."

    ???

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    rhylithrhylith Death Rabbits HoustonRegistered User regular
    I feel like I'm in the software version of TPS reports -

    "This design doc has some great content in it, but we really need it in this format instead. Can you rewrite it based on this document instead?"
    ...okay but you literally told me to follow this template -
    "Yeah, but what we really need for this customer is this format. When can you have it ready for review?"

    It's been 5 months since I wrote code for work.

    And, unrelated, we had a blood drive going on today. They send out an email at 2:08 saying that they need more donors and walk ins are welcome. Okay, sure it's been a while since I donated. Walk down to the truck, "Oh, we closed at 2:05."

    ???

    WELL FINE, GUESS I’LL JUST KEEP ALL THIS BLOOD.

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    tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    I got an email yesterday hyping up a talk at 1pm that we should all go to

    ... the email was sent at 3.30. I just, I don't know.

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    ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    Is the talk on temporal non-linearity?

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    JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    Oh, god. I need to buy my mom a book for her birthday, and I decided to stop into the neighborhood bookstore for the first time. Support your local businesses, right?

    Reader, this was the worst goddamn bookstore I've ever been in. It's a ludicrously small collection of the kind of books that people who don't read put on Facebook as their favorite book, and instead of having actual sections that a human would use, they have shelves with personality attributes like "Creative" and "Explorer" and "Achiever." Each of these shelves has a mishmash of fiction and nonfiction titles in no particular order. There were like two dozen copies of The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up, which I would assume was a hilarious gag if I had any charity toward these people whatsoever.

    After about five minutes of struggling to find any kind of order or sense in the place, I had to rush out into the street hissing before my skin caught fire.

    I suspect Wayne Fucking Coyne has something to do with this.

    GDdCWMm.jpg
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    Librarian's ghostLibrarian's ghost Librarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSpork Registered User regular
    Dys wrote: »
    Sleep wrote: »
    Dys wrote: »
    Hoo boy, this is a first one for me today.

    Anyone ever seen that episode of Stargate where the alien virus takes over the spaceship and they have to power everything off because it spread to everything connected?

    On a completely unrelated note, I feel very sorry for our IT crew. Those poor souls.

    That's stargate Atlantis isn't it.

    It is!

    My fiancée and I actually watched that episode relatively recently so this is a fun coincidence.

    To be fair I think it was also SG1 as well as at least once on each Star Trek series.

    (Switch Friend Code) SW-4910-9735-6014(PSN) timspork (Steam) timspork (XBox) Timspork


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    SleepSleep Registered User regular
    edited October 2019
    I feel like I'm in the software version of TPS reports -

    "This design doc has some great content in it, but we really need it in this format instead. Can you rewrite it based on this document instead?"
    ...okay but you literally told me to follow this template -
    "Yeah, but what we really need for this customer is this format. When can you have it ready for review?"

    It's been 5 months since I wrote code for work.

    And, unrelated, we had a blood drive going on today. They send out an email at 2:08 saying that they need more donors and walk ins are welcome. Okay, sure it's been a while since I donated. Walk down to the truck, "Oh, we closed at 2:05."

    ???

    TPS reports are technical product specification reports. Peter Gibbons also worked for a software company. You're not just in the software version of TPS reports you're literally in Peter Gibbons hell

    Edit: holy shit I didn't even see the shitty office communication cherry on top, jfc that's gold.

    Sleep on
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    SleepSleep Registered User regular
    Dys wrote: »
    Sleep wrote: »
    Dys wrote: »
    Hoo boy, this is a first one for me today.

    Anyone ever seen that episode of Stargate where the alien virus takes over the spaceship and they have to power everything off because it spread to everything connected?

    On a completely unrelated note, I feel very sorry for our IT crew. Those poor souls.

    That's stargate Atlantis isn't it.

    It is!

    My fiancée and I actually watched that episode relatively recently so this is a fun coincidence.

    To be fair I think it was also SG1 as well as at least once on each Star Trek series.

    In fact the Atlantis episode mentions when it happened at stargate command, both in forming the idea for the solution as well as figuring out why it failed on the first try.

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    mightyjongyomightyjongyo Sour Crrm East Bay, CaliforniaRegistered User regular
    Sleep wrote: »
    I feel like I'm in the software version of TPS reports -

    "This design doc has some great content in it, but we really need it in this format instead. Can you rewrite it based on this document instead?"
    ...okay but you literally told me to follow this template -
    "Yeah, but what we really need for this customer is this format. When can you have it ready for review?"

    It's been 5 months since I wrote code for work.

    And, unrelated, we had a blood drive going on today. They send out an email at 2:08 saying that they need more donors and walk ins are welcome. Okay, sure it's been a while since I donated. Walk down to the truck, "Oh, we closed at 2:05."

    ???

    TPS reports are technical product specification reports. Peter Gibbons also worked for a software company. You're not just in the software version of TPS reports you're literary in Peter Gibbons hell

    Edit: holy shit I didn't even see the shitty office communication cherry on top, jfc that's gold.

    ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh kill me now

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    Commander ZoomCommander Zoom Registered User regular
    So, yeeaaaahh, new thread?
    That would be great.

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    ElaroElaro Apologetic Registered User regular
    So, yeeaaaahh, new thread?
    That would be great.

    I'm being a good manager, and delegating properly.

    You make it.

    Children's rights are human rights.
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    SleepSleep Registered User regular
    Sleep wrote: »
    I feel like I'm in the software version of TPS reports -

    "This design doc has some great content in it, but we really need it in this format instead. Can you rewrite it based on this document instead?"
    ...okay but you literally told me to follow this template -
    "Yeah, but what we really need for this customer is this format. When can you have it ready for review?"

    It's been 5 months since I wrote code for work.

    And, unrelated, we had a blood drive going on today. They send out an email at 2:08 saying that they need more donors and walk ins are welcome. Okay, sure it's been a while since I donated. Walk down to the truck, "Oh, we closed at 2:05."

    ???

    TPS reports are technical product specification reports. Peter Gibbons also worked for a software company. You're not just in the software version of TPS reports you're literary in Peter Gibbons hell

    Edit: holy shit I didn't even see the shitty office communication cherry on top, jfc that's gold.

    ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh kill me now

    These have been bone crushing realizations with sleep, come back next time when we'll discuss why Tuesday it's actually worse than Monday in every way, why you have feelings about it, and why that means you're even more of an office drone than you realized.

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    KwoaruKwoaru Confident Smirk Flawless Golden PecsRegistered User regular
    But this thread still has life

    2x39jD4.jpg
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    JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    To: Old Job Thread
    From: Supervisor
    Subject: Come to my office at 4:30

    GDdCWMm.jpg
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    Goose!Goose! That's me, honey Show me the way home, honeyRegistered User regular
    One of my new coworkers (who does purchasing for the company and is not a tech) commented to another tech that he didn't know this was my first IT job and I appear very capable and professional, and even looked happy working on getting a couple of desktops ready to be used as loaners. It was one of the nicest things I've ever heard at any job and my last job was super nice to me.

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    DoodmannDoodmann Registered User regular
    I applied for a senior brand manager at a ski resort on Tuesday and I have a phone interview with the recruiter tomorrow morning which was a surprise.

    So potential dream job shift in my life?

    Whippy wrote: »
    nope nope nope nope abort abort talk about anime
    I like to ART
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    thatassemblyguythatassemblyguy Janitor of Technical Debt .Registered User regular
    Doodmann wrote: »
    I applied for a senior brand manager at a ski resort on Tuesday and I have a phone interview with the recruiter tomorrow morning which was a surprise.

    So potential dream job shift in my life?

    Taste Death. Live Life.

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    mightyjongyomightyjongyo Sour Crrm East Bay, CaliforniaRegistered User regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    To: Old Job Thread
    From: Supervisor
    Subject: Come to my office at 4:30

    Time sent: 4:45PM

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    RoyceSraphimRoyceSraphim Registered User regular
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    CambiataCambiata Commander Shepard The likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered User regular
    I didn't want to brag about it too much, but for a while I was working from home every day. I finally had to stop because we switched managers, and our new manager doesn't permit that much work from home (still permitted as needed, just not every day). As a consequence I had to drive through the traffic in the rain today. Sigh.

    Peace to fashion police, I wear my heart
    On my sleeve, let the runway start
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    Kane Red RobeKane Red Robe Master of Magic ArcanusRegistered User regular
    My boss is having a snit with my mother-in-law who also works here. I think I'll hide in the bathroom to avoid drama splash damage.

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    expendableexpendable Silly Goose Registered User regular
    My boss is having a snit with my mother-in-law who also works here. I think I'll hide in the bathroom to avoid drama splash damage.

    You look like hell; all pale and flushed. I think you better take a sick day and go home.

    Djiem wrote: »
    Lokiamis wrote: »
    So the servers suddenly decide to cramp up during the last six percent.
    Man, the Director will really go out of his way to be a dick to L4D players.
    Steam
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    MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    It's fridax y'all!

    I am looking forward to being done today, going home and having a nice evening

    also I'm leaving early Monday to pick up my mother-in-law at the airport, so that will be interesting.

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    Moridin889Moridin889 Registered User regular
    Moriveth wrote: »
    It's fridax y'all!

    I am looking forward to being done today, going home and having a nice evening

    also I'm leaving early Monday to pick up my mother-in-law at the airport, so that will be interesting.

    Indeed. What exotic gifts will strange people at the airport give you?

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    OrcaOrca Also known as Espressosaurus WrexRegistered User regular
    Moridin889 wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    It's fridax y'all!

    I am looking forward to being done today, going home and having a nice evening

    also I'm leaving early Monday to pick up my mother-in-law at the airport, so that will be interesting.

    Indeed. What exotic gifts will strange people at the airport give you?

    Like ebola?

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