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Let's get this [job] thread!

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Posts

  • HefflingHeffling No Pic EverRegistered User regular
    Person walks into office and says "Can you help me with blank?"

    I respond with "No, I don't know anything about blank. But here's the person who can help you."

    Person: "Are you sure you can't help me?"

  • ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    Polaritie wrote: »
    Shorty wrote: »
    one time my chemistry teacher gave us a riddle that was really more of a math problem involving space travel, but he didn't account for the fact that in space constant thrust equals constant acceleration, and when I pointed this out he told me to shut up

    On the contrary, constant thrust creates decreasing acceleration because relativity, iirc?

    eventually but there's a reason we have the phrase "relativistic speeds"

    PolaritietynicMoridin889JoolanderKetBra
  • Commander ZoomCommander Zoom Registered User regular
    At my last job, my boss was big into whiskey and often invited me to partake. I'm not much of a drinker, but we found a good medium in me watering it down (some), and I only got ribbed a little for it.

    steam_sig.png
    Steam, Warframe: Megajoule
  • DoodmannDoodmann Registered User regular
    FRIDAX I AM DONE WITH THIS DAMN CONVENTION.

    I have another one in 2 weeks. Fuck.

    Whippy wrote: »
    nope nope nope nope abort abort talk about anime
    Sometimes I sell my stuff on Ebay
    chromdom
  • ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    remember that scene in Parks & Rec when Ben Wyatt drinks some of Ron's scotch and almost dies

    that's me

    Doodmann3cl1ps3bowenKwoaruBucketmanDarkPrimusgodmodeDonovan PuppyfuckerN1tSt4lkerPinfeldorfFrylockHolmesJaysonFourthatassemblyguyJoolanderToxsarukunL Ron HowardBobbleSlacker71spono
  • ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    years ago I got a bottle of Laphroaig from Secret Satans and my friends and I...well, we gave it a good home, but not a very respectful one

    BucketmanDarkPrimusschussgodmodeSlacker71
  • OghulkOghulk Tinychat Janitor TinychatRegistered User regular
    now that I've solved the bosnian war, time to go do things i actually want to do

    like draft a memo detailing a newly issued municipal bond

  • RoyceSraphimRoyceSraphim Registered User regular
    I have hated myself for a very long time and ignored my accomplishments until I got somewhere.

    I should have kept a list.

    Literally the biggest problem I have in writing cover letters I that I hate looking inward.

    DouglasDanger
  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    I'm not even trying to be a snobby guy about it

    I like the way whiskey tastes! I do drink it extremely slowly, though.

  • expendableexpendable Silly Goose Registered User regular
    I have hated myself for a very long time and ignored my accomplishments until I got somewhere.

    I should have kept a list.

    Literally the biggest problem I have in writing cover letters I that I hate looking inward.

    I was told once that when I had a good day or a big accomplishment at work, to update my resume with that accomplishment that very day. Not to actually send it out then, but for later when I was looking for a job and feeling shitty, I wouldn't have to think hard for those things.

    Djiem wrote: »
    Lokiamis wrote: »
    So the servers suddenly decide to cramp up during the last six percent.
    Man, the Director will really go out of his way to be a dick to L4D players.
    Steam
  • CuvisTheConquerorCuvisTheConqueror They always say "yee haw" but they never ask "haw yee?" Registered User regular
    edited September 2019
    So... being pulled into a meeting by your boss, ominously named "Organization Update", with the other newest member of your team (who started the same day as you) on a Friday afternoon with little warning is more than a little nerve-wracking.

    It ended up being no big deal. Basically the team is being reorganized and we now have a new manager between us and our old boss, and the reason we both got pulled in together is because we both happened to be working remotely today. But I'm still kind of coming down from it.

    CuvisTheConqueror on
    xderwsaxganu.png
    webguy20Doodmann3cl1ps3CambiataCommander ZoomRoyceSraphimJedocBucketmanmightyjongyogodmodeToxL Ron Howard
  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    chromdom wrote: »
    El Skid wrote: »
    TheStig wrote: »
    All bathrooms should be private., or slit trenches. No in-between.

    Goddammit

    pooping with an audience is an experience. I don't know why you guys would want to deprive someone of that.

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
    Slacker71
  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    TheStig wrote: »
    chromdom wrote: »
    El Skid wrote: »
    TheStig wrote: »
    All bathrooms should be private., or slit trenches. No in-between.

    Goddammit

    pooping with an audience is an experience. I don't know why you guys would want to deprive someone of that.

    Let me play my trumpet in peace

    Bobble
  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    I’m curious, those of you who work at/have worked at jobs where you’re paid hourly:

    What happens when your time clock is incorrect and you and your boss fail to notice before payroll is finalized? Do the missing hours get added to the next paycheck?

    LaOsKane Red Robe
  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    Janson wrote: »
    I’m curious, those of you who work at/have worked at jobs where you’re paid hourly:

    What happens when your time clock is incorrect and you and your boss fail to notice before payroll is finalized? Do the missing hours get added to the next paycheck?

    Yes, but in a lot of places it's on you to followup and make sure you get the money you're owed.

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
    expendableRoyceSraphimDouglasDangerLaOsQuantumTurkSleepMoridin889godmodeCommander ZoomElvenshaeDarth WaiterSorceKane Red RobeTonkkaJaysonFourTofystedethL Ron Howardani_game_bum
  • RoyceSraphimRoyceSraphim Registered User regular
    TheStig wrote: »
    Janson wrote: »
    I’m curious, those of you who work at/have worked at jobs where you’re paid hourly:

    What happens when your time clock is incorrect and you and your boss fail to notice before payroll is finalized? Do the missing hours get added to the next paycheck?

    Yes, but in a lot of places it's on you to followup and make sure you get the money you're owed.

    Because you will literally be the first person to notice.

    Sometimes the only person.

    TheStigSleepCommander ZoomElvenshaeJaysonFourL Ron Howard
  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    Every single pay period we have at least one employee who contacts us and says they’re missing hours. Both the employees and their managers expect us to calculate the missing pay then and there (they usually get their net pay paid from petty cash) and some employees have been very angry in the past if they don’t receive their missing pay immediately

    And it’s not hard to calculate, but it’s also not our fault (we don’t have any idea what hours people work, so we can’t double check!), and I wonder where the anger is coming from, like surely it’s common anywhere to not get paid the very same day?! I feel like they’re in for a rude awakening when they go and work someplace else

  • RoyceSraphimRoyceSraphim Registered User regular
    edited September 2019
    I see too much money in my bank account and I'm scared.

    Edit:oh, wait, half goes to the cell phone bill.

    Cannot wait till january for these 5 lines to get trimmed down to 3

    RoyceSraphim on
  • JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    edited September 2019
    Janson wrote: »
    I’m curious, those of you who work at/have worked at jobs where you’re paid hourly:

    What happens when your time clock is incorrect and you and your boss fail to notice before payroll is finalized? Do the missing hours get added to the next paycheck?

    At the library, it gets added to the next pay check after the mistake is noticed. We have codes for Retro Pay and Retro Pay - Overtime and HR just enters the missed hours. Overtime is calculated based on the pay period that the mistake happened in, not the one the hours are being added to. So if they work forty hours and you add an hour and a half of retro pay onto that same check, it's only time and a half if it also would have been over forty hours during the week the mistake happened.

    Jedoc on
    GDdCWMm.jpg
  • StragintStragint Do Not Gift Always DeclinesRegistered User regular
    Stragint wrote: »
    I got a very sudden on set of anxiety about cleaning and organizing the house so I called off work. I could have done it this weekend cause I'm off Saturday and Sunday but I'm compelled to do it right now.

    I feel like I'm screwing up.

    Are you seeking or receiving treatment for your anxiety?

    (Yes, I'm going to keep asking.)

    I am not right now. I have anxiety pills that I lost like a year ago and actually found today, apparently they are good till December so that is cool.

    PSN: Reaper_Stragint, Steam: DoublePitstoChesty
    What is the point of being alive if you don't at least try to do something remarkable? ~ Mario Novak

    I never fear death or dyin', I only fear never trying.
  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    Zonugal wrote: »
    When I was a child I would spend time alone just reading riddles.

    So when students try to give me riddles it almost always plays out like this:

    B27ZV_OCUAA3fLY.jpg

    I was doing this on Tuesday.

    Only the kids were at the back and they’d start off with, what has two hands, and I was at the front typing something, and I yell out, a clock and keep typing.

    DoodmannHeadCreepsJragghen3cl1ps3Moridin889mightyjongyostopgapchromdomwebguy20ElvenshaeSkeithRoyceSraphimDonovan PuppyfuckerDarth WaiterNightDragonN1tSt4lkerKane Red RobeTonkkaIloveslimesCurly_BraceAl_watJaysonFourTofystedethZonugalthatassemblyguyBucketmanJoolanderToxsarukunL Ron HowardBobbleSlacker71
  • DisruptedCapitalistDisruptedCapitalist I swear! Registered User regular
    edited September 2019
    :?

    DisruptedCapitalist on
    Fishman
  • DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    Some asshole at work microwaved fish today.






    ...I work from home. It is me, I am the asshole.

    In related news, the cats are just about losing their tiny little minds.

    "zip, i dunno what it is about you, but there's something very cat-like about your face. i can't really place it. you'd make a good mountain lion." Hail, Satan! Satans Post
    JedocDarkPrimusSnicketysnickAngelHedgieCambiataJragghenNaphtali3cl1ps3SleepOghulkMoridin889mightyjongyogodmodestopgapchromdomPolaritieTynnanInquisitor77webguy20Commander ZoomElvenshaeDisruptedCapitalistShadowfireSkeithHeadCreepsCalicaGoose!RoyceSraphimDonovan PuppyfuckerDarth WaiterNightDragonCimmeriiSorceOrcaKane Red RobeTonkkaIloveslimesCurly_BraceJaysonFourTofystedethFishmanZonugalthatassemblyguyBucketmanJoolanderSporkAndrewToxsarukunexpendableL Ron HowardThegreatcowCormacBobbleSlacker71sponoElbasunu
  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    If you think fish is bad try rehydrating dried scallops then microwaving them.

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
  • Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    I took the day off today to go to the DMV, so now I’m waiting in line. There’s a guy working there who walks out of the back office every like, 10 minutes and yells “VIN inspections” two or three times, then returns to his office.

    He’s not quite dressed like a hobo, but as close as one could come while existing in a work environment

    Despite his best efforts no one seems interested in VIN inspection

    NREqxl5.jpg
    hold your head high soldier, it ain't over yet
    that's why we call it the struggle, you're supposed to sweat
  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    How many people are even named Vin, and why do they need to be inspected?

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
  • Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    I think maybe his name is Vin; it’s unclear

    NREqxl5.jpg
    hold your head high soldier, it ain't over yet
    that's why we call it the struggle, you're supposed to sweat
    NightDragonJoolander
  • Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    The DMV here has this weird system for processing people; everyone is given a number which is fine, but then rather than call the numbers one at a time in order they call like, 20 at a time and have them stand in line for an indeterminate time.

    Also for some reason every time they call the numbers it’s important for the reception person to count them all out like, twice.

    NREqxl5.jpg
    hold your head high soldier, it ain't over yet
    that's why we call it the struggle, you're supposed to sweat
  • NaphtaliNaphtali Hazy + Flow SeaRegistered User regular
    TheStig wrote: »
    How many people are even named Vin, and why do they need to be inspected?

    I mean the inquisitors have to find rogue mistborns

    Steam | Nintendo ID: Naphtali | Wish List
    ElvenshaeKane Red RobeBucketmanCaedwyr
  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    Is there any country where the DMV equivalent isn't a horrendous place.

  • BaidolBaidol I will hold him off Escape while you canRegistered User regular
    Naphtali wrote: »
    TheStig wrote: »
    How many people are even named Vin, and why do they need to be inspected?

    I mean the inquisitors have to find rogue mistborns

    igetthatreference.gif

    Steam Overwatch: Baidol#1957
    NaphtaliTcheldorElvenshaeCalicaKane Red RobeCaedwyr
  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    Eh. I went to mine three weeks ago and it was fine.

    Other than I got there and immediately went back home because in didn’t have my wallet, but that is my fault really. I took a number, waited fifteen minutes or so and got served.

    tynickimeDonovan Puppyfucker
  • SanderJKSanderJK Crocodylus Pontifex Sinterklasicus Madrid, 3000 ADRegistered User regular
    Is there any country where the DMV equivalent isn't a horrendous place.

    The NL splits the tasks:
    You get all documents at city hall, which includes renewing driver licenses. That process is very smooth:
    1. You plan an appointment in a 15min window 2 weeks in advance.
    2. You supply 2 pass photos and you pay €40
    3. You get a pick up date for your new document.

    Getting a drivers license is a lot harder than in most countries. The tests are difficult and you have to pay the cost of the examinators time, as well as rent a drive ed. car from a driving school, which means they come in around €300. Failure rate is like 40%

    The only way you're screwed at the moment is if you need an extended medical exam. That department is on fire and has been for years, and delays have become so large that the first default age test (at 75y) is currently skipped.
    You have to pay independent medical professionals for a second opinion on any relevant condition, which can be hundreds of bucks for 5 minutes of questioning.

    Steam: SanderJK Origin: SanderJK
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    I need to go get my enhancedID soon. And a passport.

    Moridin889TcheldorRoyceSraphimTonkkaThegreatcow
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Is there any country where the DMV equivalent isn't a horrendous place.

    The one local to my parents is about as pleasant as any kind of bureaucratic interaction can be. Last time I got my drivers license renewed it took 15 minutes and 10 of those were because the lady in the photo booth wanted to make sure "it's the best picture we can get!"

    Brovid HasselsmofgodmodeElvenshaeSkeithDonovan PuppyfuckerDarth WaiterNightDragonSorceSnicketysnickKane Red RobeIloveslimesJaysonFourTofystedethFishmanJoolanderToxL Ron HowardSlacker71
  • JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    edited September 2019
    My grandpa used to drive 70 miles to the second-closest DMV because he thought it was worth not having to deal with the one 20 miles away. It was a small town, but the DMV was only open one day per week so it all balanced out into pure horseshit.

    Jedoc on
    GDdCWMm.jpg
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    I actually never had to deal with the DMV at all in the UK, I think everything was done by mail? I got my drivers license photo taken in a booth at the ASDA.

  • DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    TheStig wrote: »
    If you think fish is bad try rehydrating dried scallops then microwaving them.

    This sounds like something I would never try. I'm actually concerned that you have.

    Are you ok? Do we need to see you in the good food thread?

    "zip, i dunno what it is about you, but there's something very cat-like about your face. i can't really place it. you'd make a good mountain lion." Hail, Satan! Satans Post
    chromdomCambiataElvenshaeShadowfireGoose!
  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    I get cold sweats if I think back to the South African traffic office

  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    I feel like there are two types of riddles:

    (1) Actual riddles that can be solved
    (2) Bullshit scenarios that are made up and are not actually riddles

    Similarly there are only two types of jokes:

    1) Legitimately funny jokes
    2) Jokes about “people who understand binary”
    3) Jokes that subvert your expectations

    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
    ElvenshaeCalicaRoyceSraphimDonovan PuppyfuckerSorcestopgapKane Red RobeTonkkaL Ron HowardSlacker71spono
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