Crimson King wrote: »
i was going to say shakespeare authorship conspiracy theories but now i'm going to be workshopping cymbeline jokes all day
ey, you think poisoning your stepdaughter's evil, you should see my wife when i don't take out the garbage
these kids, they live in a cave, they hunt their own food *wipes away flopsweat*... i can barely get my kids off the damn x box!!
Enlong wrote: »
I could probably go on a rant about mini games in Final Fantasy games. Like, just look at the Colosseum in Final Fantasy VI. You play this whole game, and after you go to Zozo, it’s practically screaming at you to use these big shiny rocks to learn magic. Turn a corner? Magicite. Do a story event? Magicite. Oh, you beat the dungeon? Here’s 8 Magicite for free! So in Square’s infinite wisdom, they decided to make a mini game that punishes you for ever looking at a damn Magicite! This coliseum has you choose one of your dudes to bet your valuables on, and he starts fighting on his own, choosing his moves randomly. And I do mean totally randomly! Meaning that every single spell you learned? Equal chance of being picked as the option to just fight! Ever seen a martial artist with bulging muscles and a knife on his hand decide that it’s a better idea to try and cure a poison he doesn’t have? It’s alnost as funny as him choosing a suicide spell on his first turn!
bsjezz wrote: »
did i tell you about the time i randomly met yahoo serious's nephew in a kiribilli bar and talked with him for two hours about the script he was writing
i could do five minutes of jokes on that. sorry, tynic. i think yahoo serious's nephew trumps yahoo serious
i was going to go the #metoo bent with iachimo as the creepy shakespeare self-insert
"imogen's bedchamber is more documentary than english renaissance theatre. you know the bard was skulking around, making notes about the moles on the hips of the young boys who were playing girls pretending to be boys... that is one deeply, deeply layered fetish..."
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
Barring that: how to compose music using nothing but mathematical functions. There may be some hand gestures involved.
My story of the time I was going to fight a Canada goose to get out of work is already basically a comedy routine, and a full version where I rant about how much I hate geese (like how they eat grass despite having no adaptations for digesting grass) would get me to five minutes easily.
I remember seeing a comedian finish her set with a joke about Final Fantasy Legend. I thought I'd stayed up too late and fell asleep in the middle of the show or something.
that's exactly why my set is so tragic, though.
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
I'd just read out the "they fucked on the boat" thread from the forum archive.
I crack myself up constantly and nobody will every get these jokes but me.
Which then launches into an extra set about just being uncomfortable all the goddamn time.