Options

What is the most obscure topic on which you could perform a five minute stand-up set?

2»

Posts

  • Options
    bsjezzbsjezz Registered User regular
    edited September 2019
    i was going to say shakespeare authorship conspiracy theories but now i'm going to be workshopping cymbeline jokes all day

    ey, you think poisoning your stepdaughter's evil, you should see my wife when i don't take out the garbage

    these kids, they live in a cave, they hunt their own food *wipes away flopsweat*... i can barely get my kids off the damn x box!!

    i was going to go the #metoo bent with iachimo as the creepy shakespeare self-insert

    "imogen's bedchamber is more documentary than english renaissance theatre. you know the bard was skulking around, making notes about the moles on the hips of the young boys who were playing girls pretending to be boys... that is one deeply, deeply layered fetish..."

    bsjezz on
    sC4Q4nq.jpg
  • Options
    Rorshach KringleRorshach Kringle that crustache life Registered User regular
    i also probably could do a barnburner on winamp tv

    6vjsgrerts6r.png

  • Options
    ph blakeph blake Registered User regular
    Celebrated Brazilian author Ivan Ângelo and his decades long quest to write the weirdest sex scene imaginable that still gets published.

    7h8wnycre6vs.png
  • Options
    #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    I could probably write a genuinely funny five minutes about Wario Ware.

  • Options
    durandal4532durandal4532 Registered User regular
    Probably like... how little undergraduates give a shit about the research to which you're dedicating your entire life.

    Take a moment to donate what you can to Critical Resistance and Black Lives Matter.
  • Options
    ElaroElaro Apologetic Registered User regular
    Warhammer 40 000 lore

    Barring that: how to compose music using nothing but mathematical functions. There may be some hand gestures involved.

    Children's rights are human rights.
  • Options
    MayabirdMayabird Pecking at the keyboardRegistered User regular
    I have all sorts of bird trivia in my head that could be turned into a set.

    My story of the time I was going to fight a Canada goose to get out of work is already basically a comedy routine, and a full version where I rant about how much I hate geese (like how they eat grass despite having no adaptations for digesting grass) would get me to five minutes easily.

  • Options
    astrobstrdastrobstrd So full of mercy... Registered User regular
    I had sort of been workshopping a joke about how like 40 different terrible movies in the 80's all briefly held the record for the longest human burn stunt.

    Selling the Scream Podcast: https://anchor.fm/jeremy-donaldson
  • Options
    ReynoldsReynolds Gone Fishin'Registered User regular
    Enlong wrote: »
    I could probably go on a rant about mini games in Final Fantasy games. Like, just look at the Colosseum in Final Fantasy VI. You play this whole game, and after you go to Zozo, it’s practically screaming at you to use these big shiny rocks to learn magic. Turn a corner? Magicite. Do a story event? Magicite. Oh, you beat the dungeon? Here’s 8 Magicite for free! So in Square’s infinite wisdom, they decided to make a mini game that punishes you for ever looking at a damn Magicite! This coliseum has you choose one of your dudes to bet your valuables on, and he starts fighting on his own, choosing his moves randomly. And I do mean totally randomly! Meaning that every single spell you learned? Equal chance of being picked as the option to just fight! Ever seen a martial artist with bulging muscles and a knife on his hand decide that it’s a better idea to try and cure a poison he doesn’t have? It’s alnost as funny as him choosing a suicide spell on his first turn!

    I remember seeing a comedian finish her set with a joke about Final Fantasy Legend. I thought I'd stayed up too late and fell asleep in the middle of the show or something.

    uyvfOQy.png
  • Options
    tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    bsjezz wrote: »
    did i tell you about the time i randomly met yahoo serious's nephew in a kiribilli bar and talked with him for two hours about the script he was writing

    i could do five minutes of jokes on that. sorry, tynic. i think yahoo serious's nephew trumps yahoo serious

    that's exactly why my set is so tragic, though.

  • Options
    knitdanknitdan In ur base Killin ur guysRegistered User regular
    Newsprint manufacturing

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
    -Indiana Solo, runner of blades
  • Options
    DrezDrez Registered User regular
    I can do a five minute stand-up set on "What is the most obscure topic on which you could perform a five minute stand-up set?"

    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
  • Options
    Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    99.9% of the population aren't supposed to know about it?

    I'd just read out the "they fucked on the boat" thread from the forum archive.

  • Options
    DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    the time the quad city mallards lost the UHL champtionship because of a novelty severed finger

  • Options
    sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    Multi-cross-lingual puns.

    I crack myself up constantly and nobody will every get these jokes but me.

  • Options
    BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    Being tired all day and then unable to sleep properly at night.

    Which then launches into an extra set about just being uncomfortable all the goddamn time.

  • Options
    BucketmanBucketman Call me SkraggRegistered User regular
    My wired home town

  • Options
    Librarian's ghostLibrarian's ghost Librarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSpork Registered User regular
    Public Library Circulation Desk Horrors.

    (Switch Friend Code) SW-4910-9735-6014(PSN) timspork (Steam) timspork (XBox) Timspork


Sign In or Register to comment.