Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
Effectiveness: 6. Canonically a very competent detective who is, nonetheless, tied to a case he (by his own admission) will likely never solve. Is often forced to be bailed out by the very thief he is attempting to catch. Never wears a disguise, and is regularly in fact outsmarted by other people, simply because they wore his clothes. Honestly, he'd be much lower if it weren't periodically suggested he'd be good at his job in a different department.
Flexibility: 0. The man loudly announces his presence in every room he walks into. Is hopelessly trapped on the Lupin case. And as stated, never wears any sort of disguise.
Compassionate: 7. Genuinely does care about people. Pursues Lupin not because he just wants to catch him, but because he genuinely wants him to recognize he's done wrong and has hurt people. Sees things outside of Lupin and his crew in shades of grey. Adopted Ami and proved to be a kind and supportive father until the end.
Cop: -8. Interpol officer who CONSTANTLY abuses his power to try and capture Lupin.
Entertaining: 8. I fucking love Zenigata. What a treasure. What a dumbass.
Final Score: 13/50. This feels like the low end of the spectrum, at least.
Librarian's ghostLibrarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSporkRegistered Userregular
edited October 2019
Peter Falk is a gorgeous hunk of man.
Sam and Dean Winchester might be positive on the cop scale? They regularly impersonate feds and are usually actively wanted by police. However they do have that one sheriff friend?
Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
Zennigata gets different portrayals from time to time.
Sometimes he is a bumbling buffoon. Sometimes he’s shown to be the only sane man who can almost catch Lupin.
Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
Effectiveness: 2. The movie opens with him infiltrating and beating up all the worst dictators of the 80s. Pretty good, right? Except he doesn't actually take any of them into custody - he just leaves, presumably allowing them to all go back to what they were doing. From there, he consistently misses clues and information, causes undue harm to both suspects and innocent civilians, at one point instigates a riot, and generally does a poor job of detecting.
Compassion: 0. At no point does he show any lasting concern for the targets of his violence. I'm not sure he even really understands who or where he is at any given moment.
Cop: -10. He is extremely a cop who uses his authority to badger, harass, assault, and illegally search pretty much everyone.
Flexibility: 0. At no point does he formulate an effective plan, and again seems mostly clueless as to what's going on most of the time. He gets fired for messing up his assignment to protect the Queen of England, then when he gets another chance to save her, he fumbles the execution and only succeeds due to sheer luck.
Entertainingness: 10. Naturally, this is all extremely funny.
Final score: +2. Frank Drebin is a terrible detective.
+24
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Lord_AsmodeusgoeticSobriquet:Here is your magical cryptic riddle-tumour: I AM A TIME MACHINERegistered Userregular
edited October 2019
He is a good detective.
I'll be honest, I'd never even heard of Columbo before I saw the episode of QI that mentions him
Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if Labor had not first existed. Labor is superior to capital, and deserves much the higher consideration. - Lincoln
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Librarian's ghostLibrarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSporkRegistered Userregular
Peter Falk is a gorgeous hunk of man.
Hmmm. Does Columbo have two eyes or one is an exceedingly good point.
Kinda like, does Scotty on Star Trek TOS have all his fingers?
Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
Now do Raylan Givens.
Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
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Librarian's ghostLibrarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSporkRegistered Userregular
While not specifically murder mysteries I’d probably say Lovejoy is the most antagonist to cops.
In the lovejoy spirit, I’m gonna do my favorite crime show that nobody here has ever seen, featuring Elvis McGuiness as laundromat owner and reluctant detective
Effectiveness: 12. The crime is always solved, but frequently the criminal gets off scot free because they turn out to be a relative. Also without his two plucky sidekicks he’d probably just spend his days pressing shirts, although they can also be more of a hindrance than a help
Compassionate: 8. Doesn’t actually get paid for this shit and while almost always reluctant, will eventually always take the case out of either a sense of family duty or genuine concern. Plus once he saved a dog.
Cop: 0. If if possible I would even go positive here - actively hates the cops, the cops hate him, the ideal case outcome always involves the crime being fixed or reversed so they have nothing to get their claws into. Very honest look at the Victorian police force.
Flexibility: 10, as a long time criminal gone straight he has a huge bag of tricks that can apply to almost any situation. And when he doesn’t, his bookkeeper/assistant knows capoeira.
Entertaining: 10 - the show didn’t run long enough to wear out its welcome. I really need to find it on dvd.
I'm not sure he qualifies as a detective, I think he's just literally a cop. Like, FBI agent = federal detective, U.S. Marshal = federal cop. He just goes around beating people up and not giving a shit about the rights of private citizens. You know, like a cop.
He dresses like a guy who knows how to be comfortable.
One of the interesting things in the first episode of Columbo, you don't even see columbo for I want to say the first 10 minutes? Of the episode, and then when you do he's not doing traditional police things, he even brings the dead man's wife to her house to cook her breakfast. Its such a weird introduction (though there had been I think at least one tv movie by the time the show aired).
Of all the brilliant tv detectives, I don't think anyone has tried to replicate columbo, either because hollywood doesn't think people want that type, or almost no one can wear the jacket.
Peter Falk was also a pretty good artist from what I can recall he did sketches and paintings, even sometimes of french girls.
I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.
Someone needs to make a show about a detective whose just dog shit. Like they solve 1 in 20 crimes. Real obvious shit too where you're just screaming at the TV screen telling him the butler did it and he's like "welp, another unsolved mystery."
European cinema has this guy who never gets the kind of "gotcha" other detectives get
While not specifically murder mysteries I’d probably say Lovejoy is the most antagonist to cops.
In the lovejoy spirit, I’m gonna do my favorite crime show that nobody here has ever seen, featuring Elvis McGuiness as laundromat owner and reluctant detective
I can't even find a guy by the name of Elvis McGuiness on Wikipedia or IMDb and Googling "laundromat detective show" has zero relevant results!
While not specifically murder mysteries I’d probably say Lovejoy is the most antagonist to cops.
In the lovejoy spirit, I’m gonna do my favorite crime show that nobody here has ever seen, featuring Elvis McGuiness as laundromat owner and reluctant detective
I can't even find a guy by the name of Elvis McGuiness on Wikipedia or IMDb and Googling "laundromat detective show" has zero relevant results!
Oh, that’s the character name. The show was Good Guys, Bad Guys and it aired exclusively in Australia in the 90s
Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
I'm not sure he qualifies as a detective, I think he's just literally a cop. Like, FBI agent = federal detective, U.S. Marshal = federal cop. He just goes around beating people up and not giving a shit about the rights of private citizens. You know, like a cop.
I dunno, he wears the veneer of a detective pretty well for most of the show's runtime.
Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
I'm not sure he qualifies as a detective, I think he's just literally a cop. Like, FBI agent = federal detective, U.S. Marshal = federal cop. He just goes around beating people up and not giving a shit about the rights of private citizens. You know, like a cop.
I dunno, he wears the veneer of a detective pretty well for most of the show's runtime.
Raylan always comes across as a marshal from a western transported to our time. Like he observes and uses his coal mining background to generally puzzle out the crimes of the people he's chasing, but it feels like he's just working up to the showdown. Also helps most of the criminals on justified aren't master criminals. Even my boy Boyd is pretty much coasting on violence, silver tongue, and that Harlan generally looks after its own to do his shit.
The book version was less shooty than tv version though. Like TV version when he kills Tommy Bucks it feels like that's just another notch for TV Raylan, for book Raylan that was his first shooting.
I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.
if i had the material available, i would wajt to apply this rubrick to rank all the hanna barbera mystery teams
who better? jabberjaw? scoob? that funky phantom?
+1
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Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
I'm not sure he qualifies as a detective, I think he's just literally a cop. Like, FBI agent = federal detective, U.S. Marshal = federal cop. He just goes around beating people up and not giving a shit about the rights of private citizens. You know, like a cop.
I dunno, he wears the veneer of a detective pretty well for most of the show's runtime.
Raylan always comes across as a marshal from a western transported to our time. Like he observes and uses his coal mining background to generally puzzle out the crimes of the people he's chasing, but it feels like he's just working up to the showdown. Also helps most of the criminals on justified aren't master criminals. Even my boy Boyd is pretty much coasting on violence, silver tongue, and that Harlan generally looks after its own to do his shit.
The book version was less shooty than tv version though. Like TV version when he kills Tommy Bucks it feels like that's just another notch for TV Raylan, for book Raylan that was his first shooting.
That was probably literally the elevator pitch for the show.
Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
And plus just in general, the duties of a Marshal are tracking fugitives, protecting government officials, and handling witness protection business (all of which the show displays). They don't spend much time investigating crime scenes, developing leads, or questioning suspects. They're told "this person is a fugitive, you need to find them." They don't care what they did or if they actually did it. A detective is trying to get to the truth behind the matter at hand.
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He was a spy / counter-intelligence officer.
Pretty sure he had a badge so I think he was a cop.
Zenigata
Effectiveness: 6. Canonically a very competent detective who is, nonetheless, tied to a case he (by his own admission) will likely never solve. Is often forced to be bailed out by the very thief he is attempting to catch. Never wears a disguise, and is regularly in fact outsmarted by other people, simply because they wore his clothes. Honestly, he'd be much lower if it weren't periodically suggested he'd be good at his job in a different department.
Flexibility: 0. The man loudly announces his presence in every room he walks into. Is hopelessly trapped on the Lupin case. And as stated, never wears any sort of disguise.
Compassionate: 7. Genuinely does care about people. Pursues Lupin not because he just wants to catch him, but because he genuinely wants him to recognize he's done wrong and has hurt people. Sees things outside of Lupin and his crew in shades of grey. Adopted Ami and proved to be a kind and supportive father until the end.
Cop: -8. Interpol officer who CONSTANTLY abuses his power to try and capture Lupin.
Entertaining: 8. I fucking love Zenigata. What a treasure. What a dumbass.
Final Score: 13/50. This feels like the low end of the spectrum, at least.
I mean, he has "Inspector" right there in his name.
zenigata is actually extremely good
he got hired by interpol for fucks sake
it's just that lupin is very good at doing crime
Mama and papa gadget sure laid out his Lifepath for him when he was born huh
True, but he chooses to continue pursuing the Lupin case on his own terms, giving his own effectiveness a major hit
Sometimes he is a bumbling buffoon. Sometimes he’s shown to be the only sane man who can almost catch Lupin.
Max compassion but zero everything else.
Effectiveness: 2. The movie opens with him infiltrating and beating up all the worst dictators of the 80s. Pretty good, right? Except he doesn't actually take any of them into custody - he just leaves, presumably allowing them to all go back to what they were doing. From there, he consistently misses clues and information, causes undue harm to both suspects and innocent civilians, at one point instigates a riot, and generally does a poor job of detecting.
Compassion: 0. At no point does he show any lasting concern for the targets of his violence. I'm not sure he even really understands who or where he is at any given moment.
Cop: -10. He is extremely a cop who uses his authority to badger, harass, assault, and illegally search pretty much everyone.
Flexibility: 0. At no point does he formulate an effective plan, and again seems mostly clueless as to what's going on most of the time. He gets fired for messing up his assignment to protect the Queen of England, then when he gets another chance to save her, he fumbles the execution and only succeeds due to sheer luck.
Entertainingness: 10. Naturally, this is all extremely funny.
Final score: +2. Frank Drebin is a terrible detective.
Kinda like, does Scotty on Star Trek TOS have all his fingers?
I think the argument that the fake eye is playing the part of a real eye is convincing.
Agreed. It never comes up in the show so Columbo must have two eyes.
Jessica Fletcher: 40
Columbo: 37
Poirot: 36
Gus & Shawn: 36
Jim Rockford: 30
Monk: 27
Zenigata: 13
Frank Drebin: 2
(shut up I know he's movie only, no television)
In the lovejoy spirit, I’m gonna do my favorite crime show that nobody here has ever seen, featuring Elvis McGuiness as laundromat owner and reluctant detective
Effectiveness: 12. The crime is always solved, but frequently the criminal gets off scot free because they turn out to be a relative. Also without his two plucky sidekicks he’d probably just spend his days pressing shirts, although they can also be more of a hindrance than a help
Compassionate: 8. Doesn’t actually get paid for this shit and while almost always reluctant, will eventually always take the case out of either a sense of family duty or genuine concern. Plus once he saved a dog.
Cop: 0. If if possible I would even go positive here - actively hates the cops, the cops hate him, the ideal case outcome always involves the crime being fixed or reversed so they have nothing to get their claws into. Very honest look at the Victorian police force.
Flexibility: 10, as a long time criminal gone straight he has a huge bag of tricks that can apply to almost any situation. And when he doesn’t, his bookkeeper/assistant knows capoeira.
Entertaining: 10 - the show didn’t run long enough to wear out its welcome. I really need to find it on dvd.
Final score: 40+, but I might be biased.
I'm not sure he qualifies as a detective, I think he's just literally a cop. Like, FBI agent = federal detective, U.S. Marshal = federal cop. He just goes around beating people up and not giving a shit about the rights of private citizens. You know, like a cop.
Of all the brilliant tv detectives, I don't think anyone has tried to replicate columbo, either because hollywood doesn't think people want that type, or almost no one can wear the jacket.
Peter Falk was also a pretty good artist from what I can recall he did sketches and paintings, even sometimes of french girls.
pleasepaypreacher.net
European cinema has this guy who never gets the kind of "gotcha" other detectives get
I can't even find a guy by the name of Elvis McGuiness on Wikipedia or IMDb and Googling "laundromat detective show" has zero relevant results!
Oh, that’s the character name. The show was Good Guys, Bad Guys and it aired exclusively in Australia in the 90s
I dunno, he wears the veneer of a detective pretty well for most of the show's runtime.
If FBI are detectives, then definitely
Raylan always comes across as a marshal from a western transported to our time. Like he observes and uses his coal mining background to generally puzzle out the crimes of the people he's chasing, but it feels like he's just working up to the showdown. Also helps most of the criminals on justified aren't master criminals. Even my boy Boyd is pretty much coasting on violence, silver tongue, and that Harlan generally looks after its own to do his shit.
The book version was less shooty than tv version though. Like TV version when he kills Tommy Bucks it feels like that's just another notch for TV Raylan, for book Raylan that was his first shooting.
pleasepaypreacher.net
who better? jabberjaw? scoob? that funky phantom?
That was probably literally the elevator pitch for the show.
Thanks, everybody!
Who likes the mustache Dan?
pleasepaypreacher.net