KRANCH [bad food]

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  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited January 14
    Just came across this silly article

    https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/y3md9w/the-greatest-minds-of-my-generation-made-this-machine-that-makes-gross-pizza

    This really looks like a solution in search of a problem here

    Uriel on
  • ShortyShorty JUDGE BROSEF Registered User regular
    yeah I saw that on twitter, people have no idea what "AI" means

    also that pizza looks bad! I do not want to eat it!

    Tube wrote: »
    I was legit hoping that Shorty was somehow mistaken and the world wasn't that fucked
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    The sauce looks like the stuff that comes in a lunchables

    ShortyBrainleech3clipse
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Shorty wrote: »
    the thing about olive oil is that it should taste good on its own

    if it's bland or rancid or just bad in some way then you should quit buying it and try something else, and as a home cook that's really all you need to worry about

    if you've got a Costco membership, their organic olive oil is well-accepted as the best olive oil for the price

    e: also Australia has extremely high standards for olive oil so if it originated there it's the real deal for sure

    fun fact, I went to school with the scions of south australia's largest olive oil grower. All three sons have the same first name.

    JedocCentipede DamascusStiltssponowebguy20sarukunThe Escape GoatAndy JoeNightDragonApocalyptusSporkAndrewchrishallett83Banzai51503clipseTofystedethdarunia106Sorce
  • ShortyShorty JUDGE BROSEF Registered User regular
    what

    Tube wrote: »
    I was legit hoping that Shorty was somehow mistaken and the world wasn't that fucked
    Andy JoeNightDragon3clipseTofystedeth
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 14
    Shorty wrote: »
    what

    Their dad gave them all his name. When the italians patriarch, they really Patriarch.

    tynic on
  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    Oliver.

    tynic#pipeMichaelLCStiltssponosarukunThe Escape GoatTNTrooperAndy JoeNightDragonApocalyptuschrishallett833clipseTofystedethAlexandierdarunia106Sorce
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    Oliver.

    damn ol' Domenico really missed a trick on that one

  • JedocJedoc Take a look. It's in a book. It was always in a book, you fool.Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    Shorty wrote: »
    the thing about olive oil is that it should taste good on its own

    if it's bland or rancid or just bad in some way then you should quit buying it and try something else, and as a home cook that's really all you need to worry about

    if you've got a Costco membership, their organic olive oil is well-accepted as the best olive oil for the price

    e: also Australia has extremely high standards for olive oil so if it originated there it's the real deal for sure

    fun fact, I went to school with the scions of south australia's largest olive oil grower. All three sons have the same first name.

    I used the awesome reaction just because this needed some strong reaction, but I don't know that I would have chosen awesome given a wider range of choices.

    GDdCWMm.jpg
    tynic
  • BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    The thing about robot burger machines and robotic pizza ovens is the job apoc is on the horizon
    THe only thing stopping many of the franchises from getting them is the cost but when it happens it's going to be a domino effect

    DouglasDangerThegreatcow
  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    Shorty wrote: »
    yeah I saw that on twitter, people have no idea what "AI" means

    also that pizza looks bad! I do not want to eat it!

    I think it looks fine?

    I don't know, man, everything on a pizza can be weak, but if the crust is good I'm on board. I basically don't care about the sauce or even the toppings really. Good crust equals good pizza to me.

    That crust looks ok.

    Centipede Damascus
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    The three fundamentals of pizza

    Crust sauce cheese

    There has to be a balance of these things, like a tank with armor mobility and firepower.

  • JedocJedoc Take a look. It's in a book. It was always in a book, you fool.Registered User regular
    edited January 14
    Cool, new pizza fight.

    What's a good crust?

    The worst crust for me is one that is thin and crispy, like a cracker. Such as your Cici's buffet pizza.

    Second worst is the chewy, doughy, floury kind that is almost always too sweet. This is the main downfall of Little Caesars.

    Best possible crust is a fluffy buttery crispy pan pizza, which is why I love Pizza Hut despite all available evidence.

    Floppy New York crust is fine, but it's kind of a pain in the ass. The only reason it's acceptable is because mostly that's where you find all the best toppings and it doesn't actually get in the way of the pizza experience too much.

    Jedoc on
    GDdCWMm.jpg
  • timspork's ghosttimspork's ghost Master Librarian and Ghostbuster Registered User regular
    Best crust is the one I make myself from scratch.

    (Switch Friend Code) SW-4910-9735-6014(PSN) timspork (Steam) timspork


    UrielShortysarukun
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    There is no single style of pizza crust that is objectively best though.

    ShortyCommander ZoomBrainleechKetarStilts#pipeThe Escape GoatApocalyptusNaphtaliBanzai51503clipseTofystedethdarunia106Sorce
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    The worst pizzas are specialty pizzas or pizzas that can't bear the weight and volume of their toppings.

    A meatlovers is one thing, I can see that. but your deluxe pizzas belong in the trash.

    Pizza is a deceptively simple food and nailing the fundemetal ratios is much more important than any toppings, especially when you sacrifice the integrity of the ratio to pile on more junk.

  • ShortyShorty JUDGE BROSEF Registered User regular
    Best crust is the one I make myself from scratch.

    I made some last summer with the recipe bon Appetit came up with for making perfect pizza and boy howdy was it ever good

    Tube wrote: »
    I was legit hoping that Shorty was somehow mistaken and the world wasn't that fucked
  • jgeisjgeis Registered User regular
    This talk of tomato sauce gave me a hankerin' for some spaghetti bolongese, so I made a quick and dirty version when I got home from work. A can of the Ralph's signature brand San Marzano-style tomatoes crushed up and combined with some ground pork/beef mix that was sauteed with finely minced carrot, onion, and garlic, a few dashes of fish sauce and soy sauce to help add some umami that would develop from a longer reduction, and some black pepper and dried basil for seasoning, reduced down over high heat to a nice consistency and tossed with rigatoni.

    JedocDouglasDanger
  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited January 14
    Best crust is the one I make myself from scratch.

    I've only just started making dough that I think is good. And so very far from the best.

    The best I've ever had was from a pizza joint in my home town that did big rectangular pies and you would order by the foot. So like "I'll have two feet of the mushroom and salami and one foot of the Hawaiian". It was fucking amazing.

    Edit: oh shit I found a photo
    arrivederci.jpg

    #pipe on
    ShortyThe Escape GoatgodmodeRorshach KringleCommander ZoomjgeisNightDragonApocalyptusDirtyboyCronoColasponosarukunSporkAndrewStiltsJedocDouglasDangerNaphtalichrishallett83Banzai5150PeenTofystedethThegreatcowA Dabble Of Theloniusdarunia106MichaelLCSorce
  • jgeisjgeis Registered User regular
    edited January 14
    I'm imagining an interaction at that pizza joint where they ask how many feet of pizza I want and I say "I dunno really, can I just eyeball it? I'll tell you when to stop stretching the dough."

    And then I just silently never break eye contact as they stretch and add dough for yard and yards.

    jgeis on
    DouglasDangerTofystedethSorce
  • NightDragonNightDragon 6th Grade Username Registered User regular
    jgeis wrote: »
    I'm imagining an interaction at that pizza joint where they ask how many feet of pizza I want and I say "I dunno really, can I just eyeball it? I'll tell you when to stop stretching the dough."

    And then I just silently never break eye contact as they stretch and add dough for yard and yards.

    This is me but when waiters ask me how much grated cheese I want on my pasta

    tynicCronoColajgeisTNTroopersarukunbowen3clipseTofystedethMrGrimoire
  • Commander ZoomCommander Zoom Registered User regular
    ron swanson, all the bacon and eggs

    steam_sig.png
    Steam, Warframe: Megajoule
  • PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Realtor Santa ClaritaRegistered User regular
    jgeis wrote: »
    I'm imagining an interaction at that pizza joint where they ask how many feet of pizza I want and I say "I dunno really, can I just eyeball it? I'll tell you when to stop stretching the dough."

    And then I just silently never break eye contact as they stretch and add dough for yard and yards.

    This is me but when waiters ask me how much grated cheese I want on my pasta

    Same but pepper.

    LaOs
  • AtheraalAtheraal Registered User regular
    Robot pizza maker things have already been in use in frozen pizza factories in larger format for ages. It's why I can buy a frozen pizza for less than it would cost to make it myself.

    But I guess the smaller form factor makes it usable by local shops? I suppose I can see this making all-night pizza places more viable, since staff is harder to come by for the graveyard shift.

  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    jgeis wrote: »
    I'm imagining an interaction at that pizza joint where they ask how many feet of pizza I want and I say "I dunno really, can I just eyeball it? I'll tell you when to stop stretching the dough."

    And then I just silently never break eye contact as they stretch and add dough for yard and yards.

    This is me but when waiters ask me how much grated cheese I want on my pasta

    part of me always wants to say just "leave the brick"
    also DUDE a new italian joint just opened up literally down the road from my house and the other day i had the best clam linguini I've ever had in the states? possibly in the world? I'll give you the deets for the next time you pop back to Boston
    it's probably lucky I'm moving or else I would end up very fat and very broke. They also have great cocktails, the bastards.

    webguy20ApocalyptussarukunThe Escape GoatE.Coyotebowenchrishallett833clipsePeenXaquinSorceNightDragon
  • sarukunsarukun Mr. Bulldopps Get SchwiftyRegistered User regular
    edited January 14
    jgeis wrote: »
    I'm imagining an interaction at that pizza joint where they ask how many feet of pizza I want and I say "I dunno really, can I just eyeball it? I'll tell you when to stop stretching the dough."

    And then I just silently never break eye contact as they stretch and add dough for yard and yards.

    This is me but when waiters ask me how much grated cheese I want on my pasta

    “Four fingers.”

    “What?”

    “I want four fingers of cheese.”

    “You... I’m sorry, what—“

    “Four fingers off the block. Put your fingers on the cheese, and grate until you have gone the width of pinky to index.“

    “Sir, that really is too much—“

    “Here is 50 American dollars, give me the cheese.”

    sarukun on
    DouglasDangerXaquinMichaelLCNightDragon
  • BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    sarukun wrote: »
    jgeis wrote: »
    I'm imagining an interaction at that pizza joint where they ask how many feet of pizza I want and I say "I dunno really, can I just eyeball it? I'll tell you when to stop stretching the dough."

    And then I just silently never break eye contact as they stretch and add dough for yard and yards.

    This is me but when waiters ask me how much grated cheese I want on my pasta

    “Four fingers.”

    “What?”

    “I want four fingers of cheese.”

    “You... I’m sorry, what—“

    “Four fingers off the block. Put your fingers on the cheese, and grate until you have gone the width of pinky to index.“

    “Sir, that really is too much—“

    “Here is 50 American dollars, give me the cheese.”

    They would give you a small wedge of Parmesan if it was Parmigiano-Reggiano the waiter would scoff and take your 50 for a laugh

    Thegreatcow
  • sarukunsarukun Mr. Bulldopps Get SchwiftyRegistered User regular
    edited January 14
    I don’t care, just put the cheese on the pasta.

    sarukun on
    DouglasDangerThegreatcowTNTrooperNightDragon
  • GlalGlal Registered User regular
    Brainleech wrote: »
    The thing about robot burger machines and robotic pizza ovens is the job apoc is on the horizon
    THe only thing stopping many of the franchises from getting them is the cost but when it happens it's going to be a domino Dominos effect

    SorceNightDragon
  • PeasPeas Registered User regular
    edited January 14
    Cold WATER Cake - Desperation Cake Recipe | Hard Times 14:10


    Edit:
    Good eating tonight
    pya2x0njf0kl.jpg

    Peas on
    5myiokloks5d.png
    godmodeDouglasDangersarukunDoodmannThegreatcowwebguy20mrpakuDirtyboychromdomApocalyptusMai-Kero
  • chrishallett83chrishallett83 A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    The cheapest and easiest way to get really good tomatoes is to grow your own, all you need is a couple of plant pots, a bag of potting mix, and some seeds.

    Commander ZoomAtaxrxes
  • 3clipse3clipse I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    jgeis wrote: »
    I'm imagining an interaction at that pizza joint where they ask how many feet of pizza I want and I say "I dunno really, can I just eyeball it? I'll tell you when to stop stretching the dough."

    And then I just silently never break eye contact as they stretch and add dough for yard and yards.

    This is me but when waiters ask me how much grated cheese I want on my pasta

    part of me always wants to say just "leave the brick"
    also DUDE a new italian joint just opened up literally down the road from my house and the other day i had the best clam linguini I've ever had in the states? possibly in the world? I'll give you the deets for the next time you pop back to Boston
    it's probably lucky I'm moving or else I would end up very fat and very broke. They also have great cocktails, the bastards.

    just gonna tantalize the rest of us who live here huh?!

    I mean, I'd take Nick Offerman's spikey cat dick willingly
  • PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Realtor Santa ClaritaRegistered User regular
    The cheapest and easiest way to get really good tomatoes is to grow your own, all you need is a couple of plant pots, a bag of potting mix, and some seeds.

    And agreeable weather. That part is important.

    JedocThegreatcowwebguy20mrpakuThe Escape GoatSorceNightDragon
  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    And the desire to only use like 4 tomatoes per year

    bowenThe Escape Goat3clipseKayne Red RobeAndy JoeNightDragongodmodeAtheraal
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    3clipse wrote: »
    tynic wrote: »
    jgeis wrote: »
    I'm imagining an interaction at that pizza joint where they ask how many feet of pizza I want and I say "I dunno really, can I just eyeball it? I'll tell you when to stop stretching the dough."

    And then I just silently never break eye contact as they stretch and add dough for yard and yards.

    This is me but when waiters ask me how much grated cheese I want on my pasta

    part of me always wants to say just "leave the brick"
    also DUDE a new italian joint just opened up literally down the road from my house and the other day i had the best clam linguini I've ever had in the states? possibly in the world? I'll give you the deets for the next time you pop back to Boston
    it's probably lucky I'm moving or else I would end up very fat and very broke. They also have great cocktails, the bastards.

    just gonna tantalize the rest of us who live here huh?!

    It's called Ravello and they're literally only just opened, the website is still transitioning from the previous restaurant:
    https://www.countrymilewatertown.com/

    (and YET they are packed out every night, which is a very good sign)

    3clipsesarukun
  • DirtyboyDirtyboy Registered User regular
    The Iconic Empanadas of Bogotá (9 mins)

    BahamutZEROPeasGlalmrpakusarukun
  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    #pipe wrote: »
    And the desire to only use like 4 tomatoes per year

    they'll probably be the best 4 tomatoes you've ever had though

    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
  • GlalGlal Registered User regular
    My grandparents had a pretty sizable garden and most of it was planted with tomatoes, I'd be playing outside and just grab and eat them off the vine. Still get nostalgic for the smell when I buy nice ones on the vine, rather than the cleaned&scentless ones you normally get.

  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    bowen wrote: »
    #pipe wrote: »
    And the desire to only use like 4 tomatoes per year

    they'll probably be the best 4 tomatoes you've ever had though

    The tomatoes you can get at farmer's markets are usually pretty great. Especially in season, but hot house tomatoes are good too.

    DouglasDanger
  • David_TDavid_T A fashion yes-man is no good to me. Copenhagen, DenmarkRegistered User regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    Cool, new pizza fight.

    What's a good crust?

    One that's covered in slightly burnt crispy cheese.

    steam_sig.png
    XaquinThe Escape GoatThegreatcowsarukunNightDragon
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