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Secret Satans 2019 - Perfect gifting! See you next year!

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    Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    Janson wrote: »
    Once Mori and I ordered some NSFW stuff and it was late... then dropped off, opened...

    Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!

    Did you end up returning it, or just submerging it in boiling bleach for a week before use?

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    BucketmanBucketman Call me SkraggRegistered User regular
    I had underwear (meundies) delivered to an old address on accident once. It was very clearly marked as underwear on the packaging they send it in. I contacted the guy who lived in the place now and he was like "Oh yeah I had no idea what this name was, I'll just leave it in the public breezeway and you can come grab it?" which was great.

    It was opened. And taken out of the package. It got washed multiple times before use.

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    BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    hey at least I washed it before I gave it back! do you have any idea how hard it was to get those stains out?

    ingrate

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    Blackhawk1313Blackhawk1313 Demon Hunter for Hire Time RiftRegistered User regular
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    MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
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    CristovalCristoval Registered User regular
    edited November 2019
    EDIT: False alarm, just some junk I ordered a few months back.

    Cristoval on
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    Blackhawk1313Blackhawk1313 Demon Hunter for Hire Time RiftRegistered User regular
    It appears that some dark relics I sent to a poor soul have traversed the void between sanctums and have been handed over. I eagerly await confirmation...

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    UnbrokenEvaUnbrokenEva HIGH ON THE WIRE BUT I WON'T TRIP ITRegistered User regular
    It appears that some dark relics I sent to a poor soul have traversed the void between sanctums and have been handed over. I eagerly await confirmation...

    OH DANG

    post incoming :D

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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Why can't I awesome a post more than once?

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    UnbrokenEvaUnbrokenEva HIGH ON THE WIRE BUT I WON'T TRIP ITRegistered User regular
    so when I checked the mail on my way home tonight, the mailbox was empty, except for a single key

    Unfortunately I don't have a picture of this key because it belongs to Canada Post and I had to give it back. It was just a key, okay? What's important is what that key opened...

    a second, larger mail slot further down on the mailbox. Look, the exciting part is coming, okay?

    That larger mail slot contained... A BOX
    E7fLhWHh.png
    Pro tip: if you take a photo of the bottom of the shipping box you don't need to redact out your address. :cool:

    But what did the box contain? Bees? All the evils of the world?

    ...gifts?

    it was gifts!
    W2zgFY9h.png

    Spoooooooky gifts!
    avuTJLqh.png
    I'll be playing this as soon as I can steal the Switch back from my wife.

    Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaacey gifts!
    xGLlWC1h.png

    GIFT FACT! Chilling Effect was written by a former forumer. A Forumermer? Is that a thing? No? Whatever, @Quoth rules.

    Useful gifts!
    3HeeoVdh.png

    TINY WHISKS! For all your Babish-inspired tiny stirrings.

    Thank you so much @Blackhawk1313 ! At least one of these will be used in the next half hour when I make supper... but which one?

    (the whisks. it will be the whisks.)

    HAIL SATAN

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    NaphtaliNaphtali Hazy + Flow SeaRegistered User regular
    Oh wow, that's awesome for Quoth! That's one's going on the list for sure

    Steam | Nintendo ID: Naphtali | Wish List
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    DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    TINY WHISK!

    ...this has been your Binging with Babish fan moment.

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    TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    Naphtali wrote: »
    Oh wow, that's awesome for Quoth! That's one's going on the list for sure

    Yeah I did not know that either, that's rad.

    steam_sig.png
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    XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    TINY WHISK!

    ...this has been your Binging with Babish fan moment.

    My son bought me 3 tiny whisks!

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    BucketmanBucketman Call me SkraggRegistered User regular
    Xaquin wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    TINY WHISK!

    ...this has been your Binging with Babish fan moment.

    My son bought me 3 tiny whisks!

    I would be lying if I said I didn't buy a 2 pack of em because of Babby

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    lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Naphtali wrote: »
    Oh wow, that's awesome for Quoth! That's one's going on the list for sure

    oohhhh look! it's available on Kindle!

    teehee

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    Blackhawk1313Blackhawk1313 Demon Hunter for Hire Time RiftRegistered User regular
    Fearghaill wrote: »
    so when I checked the mail on my way home tonight, the mailbox was empty, except for a single key

    Unfortunately I don't have a picture of this key because it belongs to Canada Post and I had to give it back. It was just a key, okay? What's important is what that key opened...

    a second, larger mail slot further down on the mailbox. Look, the exciting part is coming, okay?

    That larger mail slot contained... A BOX
    E7fLhWHh.png
    Pro tip: if you take a photo of the bottom of the shipping box you don't need to redact out your address. :cool:

    But what did the box contain? Bees? All the evils of the world?

    ...gifts?

    it was gifts!
    W2zgFY9h.png

    Spoooooooky gifts!
    avuTJLqh.png
    I'll be playing this as soon as I can steal the Switch back from my wife.

    Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaacey gifts!
    xGLlWC1h.png

    GIFT FACT! Chilling Effect was written by a former forumer. A Forumermer? Is that a thing? No? Whatever, @Quoth rules.

    Useful gifts!
    3HeeoVdh.png

    TINY WHISKS! For all your Babish-inspired tiny stirrings.

    Thank you so much @Blackhawk1313 ! At least one of these will be used in the next half hour when I make supper... but which one?

    (the whisks. it will be the whisks.)

    HAIL SATAN

    Glad you like it all! I’m always a little concerned with international shipping so I’ll be honest, this was a test ritual gifting. Expect further relics in due time... muahahaha.

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    TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas.Registered User regular
    I came home to a package, I didn't order anything recently what the fu-OOOOHHH
    tx4f4tgfvdke.jpg

    Yeah there is definitely something in there, but first a note!
    kjyuo8yp3j1j.jpg

    Aw heck, thanks Satan!
    ynahf7cx7vtj.jpg

    I love it! I rarely upgrade my stuff, now to play some damn games and such.


    Steam: evilumpire Battle.net: T0NKKA#1588 PS4: T_0_N_N_K_A Twitter Art blog/Portfolio! Twitch?! HEY SATAN Shirts and such
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    TayaTaya Registered User regular
    I sent my gift using the cheapest shipping method and no tracking so it’s up to the dark lord Santa Claus to make sure it arrives safely. I thought I had a good idea of something to send but now that it’s in the mail, I’m second-guessing that it’s a good gift at all. I may have ruined their holidays. It reminds me of this comic:

    tumblr_nya8jjZ0cJ1s5b5tzo1_500.jpg

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    ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited November 2019
    Bucketman wrote: »
    Xaquin wrote: »
    Noggin wrote: »
    My wife got a text from our relatively new neighbor that they received a package for us and opened it. They didn’t say what it was, but she thinks it’s probably toothbrushes.

    For now I’m left in suspense, so I’m suddenly extremely glad to have said “nsfw: no”.

    what?!

    When my wife and I got married last year for some reason Amazon had my address as my old apartment, even though I got many many Amazon deliveries at my current address. I got a facebook message from a lady asking if I use to live at the apartments she lived in, she asked me a few other questions. Turns out like 1/3rd of our registry was delivered to that apartment and they opened everything. It was nice that they returned it all, but they admitted to us that if it was stuff they could use they absolutely would not have contacted us, but when they realized it was for our wedding they felt guilty.

    Like on the one hand, nice of them to return it, on the other what the fuck!

    And two years ago my Secret Satan present got delivered to the apartment one over (1406 Apartment N as opposed to 1405 N) and the people hung onto it for a month before taking it to the office.

    People suck!

    Okay so first off, the part about how they wouldn't have bothered giving it to you if it wasn't for what some might call the biggest day of your life seems like it could easily have been left out. They could have made up any shit they wanted and it may have been a bit dubious but probably would given much nicer feels. "We opened it to make sure nothing was perishable." "We opened it to make sure nothing was broken." "We opened it because we wanted it to be as inexpensive to ship as possible and hoped to repackage it." "We didn't know where you'd moved to and didn't think we'd be able to track you down but when we realized it was for something important we Tried Harder."

    ceres on
    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
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    SkeithSkeith Registered User regular
    edited November 2019
    A package has arrived! I will post pictures once I'm done stuffing my face obscuring identifying information.

    edit- imgur is stupid and keeps posting my stuff sideways, so bear with me

    ymwfMZh.jpg

    I haven't ordered anything since I got back from Japan so I wasn't sure if I did this when I was out of my mind with jet lag. Opening it revealed these:

    YMLpiV0.jpg

    I'm not in the habit of getting the gift wrap option for my own orders, so this wasn't a fugue order.

    YyCSLCw.jpg

    Allow me to spare your necks: "Dear Skeith, I hear you are interested in gathering magic. The coin enclosed has a particular attraction to magnetic materials. I have also included an instructional video. All the best, Satan"

    eoxuwxS.jpg

    "ENJOY YOUR GIFT"

    PXKLYh0.jpg

    "SHIMMED STEEL CORE USA QUARTER SHIM COIN PK RAVEN BAT LITTLE HAND MAGIC TRICK

    A useful accessory for a wide variety of magic effects. These professionally produced shim coins look ordinary, but are, in fact, attracted to a magnet. Use this coin with your 'M5 System' ... Your PK Ring... 'The Raven'... 'The Bat'... 'The Little Hand'...

    the possibilities are only limited by your imagination!!!

    - You receive one REAL USA Quarter with a metal shim inside the coin.
    - These are VERY 'well made' ... and are virtually 'un-dectectable' by the Spectator!!!"

    Emphasis theirs. I'm actually having trouble finding a magnet so I can mess around with this. Let's have a look at the instructional video:

    hNB1AOq.jpg

    Oh my. I've been meaning to watch this for ages as I've heard very good things, and I have no idea about the plot. Next time I'm in the mood to get spooked I know what to watch.

    Thank you very much Satan!

    Skeith on
    aTBDrQE.jpg
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    CristovalCristoval Registered User regular
    I have more secret Satan/Sainting to do but boy howdy if I ain't tired as all hell lately. Hopefully this first round keeps your chesnuts roasted until I can recoup and get back out there.

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    BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    just got gifted, will post pics in a bit...!

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    PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    I want to apologize to my giftee, as it looks like all this looking at a house has ended and now I get to BUY said house, so your gift(s) are likely going to arrive later than I would have preferred.

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    BucketmanBucketman Call me SkraggRegistered User regular
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    I want to apologize to my giftee, as it looks like all this looking at a house has ended and now I get to BUY said house, so your gift(s) are likely going to arrive later than I would have preferred.

    I mean, you bought them an entire house. Who could be mad?

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    BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    alright back home!

    I was handed a mysterious package:

    1MLxmJt.jpg

    it contained a gift!

    JPfghh1l.jpg

    there were messages contained within!

    LKu3OJd.jpg

    and opening it up revealed:

    K3SjD8L.jpg

    sandman! what could be in the rest of the bags?

    CcUyeNT.jpg

    MORE sandman!

    Wyuc2tc.jpg
    bMZcTSR.jpg

    SO MUCH SANDMAN

    2f2xHvx.jpg

    I'm gonna re-read my volumes 1-6 and then we are GOING IN on these new books!

    I'm not sure who you are, Satan, but thank you so much for this!





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    PerrsunPerrsun Registered User regular
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    I want to apologize to my giftee, as it looks like all this looking at a house has ended and now I get to BUY said house, so your gift(s) are likely going to arrive later than I would have preferred.

    I look forward to receiving a package full of "Stuff that's nice, but I don't want to take it with me when I move" :)

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    PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    Perrsun wrote: »
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    I want to apologize to my giftee, as it looks like all this looking at a house has ended and now I get to BUY said house, so your gift(s) are likely going to arrive later than I would have preferred.

    I look forward to receiving a package full of "Stuff that's nice, but I don't want to take it with me when I move" :)

    As if I even have that much sruff!

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    CristovalCristoval Registered User regular
    It is hella hard sending alcohol through the mail I tell you whuat.

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    MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    Have you tried putting it in a bottle first?

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    Blackhawk1313Blackhawk1313 Demon Hunter for Hire Time RiftRegistered User regular
    Cristoval wrote: »
    It is hella hard sending alcohol through the mail I tell you whuat.

    I know every time I start trying the bottles are empty before I can mail it...

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    CristovalCristoval Registered User regular
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Have you tried putting it in a bottle first?

    I soaked it into a bunch of t-shirts first so they can just wring 'em out on the other end.

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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2019
    SENDING ALCOHOL

    1. Everything needs to be put in baggies. Usually the gallon size are big enough for most things. But they need to be sealed. If something breaks and starts leaking they will junk that package.

    2. Do NOT send USPS. I use UPS when I've sent beer but I imagine FedEx is fine as well.

    3. You do not want any movement in that box. If you can shake it and feel something moving...use more packaging material. Generally I will save anything that comes in packages and reuse that. In a pinch, I've stuffed a box full of paper towels to fill in the spaces. As long as you can't detect movement, something soft is between your items, and everything is enclosed in a sealed bag, your package will get there.

    4. NEVER TELL THEM YOU'RE SHIPPING ALCOHOL. The usual things us beer shoppers say is "salsa" but you can be creative. If you can't hear any liquid then just tell them anything.


    Those are your steps to shipping alcohol in the United States.

    Raijin Quickfoot on
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    MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    Just send a bottle and a turkey baster and tell them to put two and two together

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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Just send a bottle and a turkey baster and tell them to put two and two together

    I'm supposed to butt chug the contents of this bottle?

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    MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    Hellllll yeah dude

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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Hellllll yeah dude

    Well if you say so I guess I have to.

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    MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
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    XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Hellllll yeah dude

    Well if you say so I guess I have to.

    Merry Christmas!

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    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    Cristoval wrote: »
    It is hella hard sending alcohol through the mail I tell you whuat.

    Raijin's instructions are very good for packing and sending it yourself!

    Otherwise I can recommend using Masters of Malt, who have a lot of products reasonable prices for the most part (some things surprise me, but mostly they're within my expectations) and will ship globally? You just need to check with them on payment of customs and duties for certain amounts of liquor to certain countries (cough Singapore cough).

    Or there's just having @Veldrin show up with it in hand while he and Nat are in town, that worked out pretty well for me

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
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