Pokémon! What are they? I mean they're not quite porks, but they're not quite lemons either.
Pokémon is a series of video games for people aged children and upwards. In these games, your mission is to journey across the world, meeting strange and beautiful creatures (the titular Pokémon) while viciously bludgeoning said creatures into a state of blind subservience to your will and yours alone. This condition is known in the pokéverse as "friendship."
The latest edition of Pokémon, Sword and Shield, released on November 15th, and contains 400 of these innocent beings with the apparent intelligence of a human toddler. So many chances to attain ultimate power! So many new kinds of pain to inflict and, in your quieter moments, feel!
Anyway my favourite Pokémon is Ninetails because it is graceful and floofy but also destroys everything in its path
and I'm just like, yes. Finally.Finally.
A new born baby's skin is still porous, you can just leave them sitting in a bucket of blood and they'll soak up what they need.