[Love] and the gentle person

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  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular


    nyjztF0.jpg
    PurmbpZ.jpg
    5LNTdh9.jpg

    but... but I'm only 35... that's not... that's not that old...

  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    I don't know what any of that means!!

    UrielJayKaosSnicketysnickJedocPsykomaGrey GhostJansonMagic PinkArmorocVeldrin3clipseXaquinlonelyahavaDouglasDangersarukunGoose!OghulkMcFodderNightDragonOrcaFig-DSporkAndrewBrovid HasselsmofElvenshaeGustavknitdanBobbleAtheraalbalerbowerHacksawJoolander
  • JedocJedoc Bringing the past to life so we can beat it to death with a shovelRegistered User regular

    GDdCWMm.jpg
    MorivethBrolo3clipseXaquinsarukunGoose!SorceOghulkNightDragonOrcaPeenElvenshaeknitdanBobbleJoolander
  • DoodmannDoodmann Registered User regular
    I got the Polaroid one wrong.

    Who the fuck wants a digital camcorder?

    Whippy wrote: »
    nope nope nope nope abort abort talk about anime
    Torchlight | Steam | ART
  • PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Realtor Santa ClaritaRegistered User regular
    Doodmann wrote: »
    I got the Polaroid one wrong.

    Who the fuck wants a digital camcorder?

    People who don't know what a Polaroid camera is?

    discrider
  • DoodmannDoodmann Registered User regular
    edited December 2019
    But I mean it's doesn't do anything different or better than your phone. At least the Polaroid has a sense of novelty in that you end up with a physical object.

    I guess I want to know why I got it wrong since they're both obsolete tech.

    Doodmann on
    Whippy wrote: »
    nope nope nope nope abort abort talk about anime
    Torchlight | Steam | ART
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited December 2019
    Doodmann wrote: »
    I got the Polaroid one wrong.

    Who the fuck wants a digital camcorder?

    Shoot video on camcorder. Edit on computer. Save file to phone. Upload to tick-tock.

    Weaver on
    ElTL7ou.jpg
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    As much as I’d just love to disengage completely, every time I make the decision to do that and actually just don’t engage with her at all, she pulls me back in. I feel like a ping-pong ball.

    Anyway, I just wanted to vent. I’ll just suffer for now, it’s what I do best anyway.

    This is the coworker that went with me as a date to my ex-friend/other coworker’s wedding who then tried to fuck her a couple of months later. Unfortunately I have a clusterfuck of emotion exacerbated by still having to work with him sitting behind me too.

    This is way way easier for me to say than it will be for you to do - but you don't have to let her pull you back in. There are no strings on you, you are as in control as you do or do not want to be.

    I say this from a place of having been there and almost having something like this (but not quite) break me up for far too long. It is not easy, it is not fun, but it is 100% the best thing you can do for yourself. There are a handful of reasons she might be acting this way but you actually don't really need to concern yourself with any of them. You gotta do you, man, and this shit is not healthy for you.

    Nor is the whole "I shall suffer because it is what I am good at." Just cause you have doesn't mean that it defines you. Also, you're not getting bonus points for it. Not a soul is looking toward you and going "ya know? he suffers REALLY well...I admire it."

    Live your best life, dude. And that honestly doesn't involve this person as a main player in the least.

    Thanks, this...helps a lot more than I thought it would.

    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238
    Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
    Playing: Persona 5 Royal (PS4), Animal Crossing (SW), FF7remake (PS4)
    Jedocnever dieDouglasDangerDrZiplockTonkkaElvenshaeBobble
  • CelloCello Registered User regular
    Drez wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    As much as I’d just love to disengage completely, every time I make the decision to do that and actually just don’t engage with her at all, she pulls me back in. I feel like a ping-pong ball.

    Anyway, I just wanted to vent. I’ll just suffer for now, it’s what I do best anyway.

    This is the coworker that went with me as a date to my ex-friend/other coworker’s wedding who then tried to fuck her a couple of months later. Unfortunately I have a clusterfuck of emotion exacerbated by still having to work with him sitting behind me too.

    This is way way easier for me to say than it will be for you to do - but you don't have to let her pull you back in. There are no strings on you, you are as in control as you do or do not want to be.

    I say this from a place of having been there and almost having something like this (but not quite) break me up for far too long. It is not easy, it is not fun, but it is 100% the best thing you can do for yourself. There are a handful of reasons she might be acting this way but you actually don't really need to concern yourself with any of them. You gotta do you, man, and this shit is not healthy for you.

    Nor is the whole "I shall suffer because it is what I am good at." Just cause you have doesn't mean that it defines you. Also, you're not getting bonus points for it. Not a soul is looking toward you and going "ya know? he suffers REALLY well...I admire it."

    Live your best life, dude. And that honestly doesn't involve this person as a main player in the least.

    Thanks, this...helps a lot more than I thought it would.

    All I can really say from the little context we have is that if she was thoroughly interested in dating she wouldn't pull the aloofness card

    There were several guys back in uni and the occasional one since in the workplace where I would very much like and want to be friends with them, but sense their romantic interest, and as a defense mechanism I'd go colder when it became very obvious that they were leaning harder into a crush, until they seemed to be over it and we could go back to being friends again

    It'd be great if we could just talk openly about where things stand but women don't have as much access to that option for fear of retribution, generally

    Get a new job and see if it's easier to maintain an amicable relationship from there

    Steam
    3DS Friend Code: 0216-0898-6512
    Switch Friend Code: SW-7437-1538-7786
    JansonDidgeridooLabelwebguy20NightDragonpooka
  • Rorshach KringleRorshach Kringle that crustache life Registered User regular
    Brolo wrote: »


    nyjztF0.jpg
    PurmbpZ.jpg
    5LNTdh9.jpg

    but... but I'm only 35... that's not... that's not that old...

    i survived with flying colors

    i was worried i would not

    i am truly the eternal teen

    6vjsgrerts6r.png

    Armoroc3clipsenever dieUsagisarukunKwoaruGoose!SorceBobble
  • Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    Talking to my 23 year old coworker is always a trip for me

    I am old!

    poo
    JansonXaquinnever dielonelyahavaDouglasDangerTonkka
  • Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    Doodmann wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    I’m going insane. I cannot take the hot/cold shit anymore. One day she’s super friendly, chatty, even ambiguously flirty; the next day she acts like I’m not there. It wouldn’t drive me so crazy if I didn’t see and interact with her almost every day at work.

    I can’t do this anymore. I need to leave this job. Maybe this city. She is driving me insane.

    I feel like a Stepford smiler right now.

    Drez, I might have missed a post somewhere but is this a person you are currently romantically involved with?

    No, and I’m just trying to figure out our friendship at this point. One day we’re cool, she’s asking my advice, including me in in this, this, and that, making suggestions about doing this, this, and that after work or on the weekend or whatever, treating me like a confidant, someone close, and then hours on the same day with zero interaction later she’s cold, aloof, even dismissive, and it doesn’t feel like her general demeanor changed because she seems to be consistent with other people in the office. It’s like she turns her friendliness toward me on and off at random. She did it to me yesterday and again today. I’m really tired and frustrated. I hate just about everyone else at work so I don’t even know what to do anymore.

    I'd say distance yourself from her in general Drez, like don't stop being friends necessarily but orient yourself so that cold, aloof, even dismissive is the expected. She's just not as close of a friend as you think she is. Or you're more invested than she is.

    this is the not best advice

    treat her like a close friend because she's s clearly exactly that. if that is not something you can do, which is fine and understandable, the best thing is to tell her that

  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    Cello wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    As much as I’d just love to disengage completely, every time I make the decision to do that and actually just don’t engage with her at all, she pulls me back in. I feel like a ping-pong ball.

    Anyway, I just wanted to vent. I’ll just suffer for now, it’s what I do best anyway.

    This is the coworker that went with me as a date to my ex-friend/other coworker’s wedding who then tried to fuck her a couple of months later. Unfortunately I have a clusterfuck of emotion exacerbated by still having to work with him sitting behind me too.

    This is way way easier for me to say than it will be for you to do - but you don't have to let her pull you back in. There are no strings on you, you are as in control as you do or do not want to be.

    I say this from a place of having been there and almost having something like this (but not quite) break me up for far too long. It is not easy, it is not fun, but it is 100% the best thing you can do for yourself. There are a handful of reasons she might be acting this way but you actually don't really need to concern yourself with any of them. You gotta do you, man, and this shit is not healthy for you.

    Nor is the whole "I shall suffer because it is what I am good at." Just cause you have doesn't mean that it defines you. Also, you're not getting bonus points for it. Not a soul is looking toward you and going "ya know? he suffers REALLY well...I admire it."

    Live your best life, dude. And that honestly doesn't involve this person as a main player in the least.

    Thanks, this...helps a lot more than I thought it would.

    All I can really say from the little context we have is that if she was thoroughly interested in dating she wouldn't pull the aloofness card

    There were several guys back in uni and the occasional one since in the workplace where I would very much like and want to be friends with them, but sense their romantic interest, and as a defense mechanism I'd go colder when it became very obvious that they were leaning harder into a crush, until they seemed to be over it and we could go back to being friends again

    It'd be great if we could just talk openly about where things stand but women don't have as much access to that option for fear of retribution, generally

    Get a new job and see if it's easier to maintain an amicable relationship from there

    I hear you and I've been in that situation too, but that's definitely not what's going on. I'm very self-aware and I know what vibe I'm giving out and if anything, I'm the consistent one here. This morning, she was kind of shitty to me about some work thing (which she was actually wrong about). Then a couple of hours later (with absolutely no communication or contact between us since that first conversation) she came over talking about some semi-work related thing enthusiastically. Then, later, before close of business, when I tried to again approach her about a work thing again she was again shitty and dismissive toward me.

    Hell, typing that out it feels weird. It's like the inverse of what you would expect, like me trying to discuss non-work stuff would be the trigger, but I actually felt awkward approaching her about a work thing. Anyway, the way she acted toward me today was frankly all over the map. It was frustrating to say the least. And it's not tyhe first time. It's not even the hundredth time. There are days where I go home on a Thursday/Friday after having like a 2-3 hour conversation with her and then on Monday I feel invisible. About 6-8 weeks ago I met her for brunch on Sunday with a fairly deep discussion and then the next day at work it was like I was invisible. I would say the the difference is the locale or the context, but she's pulled me aside dozens of times at work to talk to me about personal things.

    I feel like a yo-yo.

    I mean, a similar thing to what happened today happened yesterday, too, to the point where I had actually (for the umpteenth time) swore her off completely and by the end of the day we grabbed a couple of drinks at her suggestion (with another coworker).

    I know exactly what you mean by the "back off until things cool down" thing but that's definitely not what's going on here. I could totally recognize and understand it if it was that. I'm like, very subdued and aware of everything you are talking about.

    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238
    Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
    Playing: Persona 5 Royal (PS4), Animal Crossing (SW), FF7remake (PS4)
  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    edited December 2019
    I love working with younger people

    Until I realize they’re paid more than me, have a 401k double mine, and have zero dependents...

    I know gen z are supposed to be better off than we millennials were at their age but it’s hard to see the raw figures; I think I preferred it when I was doing accounting for boomers and could attribute their net worth to age

    Edit: okay, I got my years wrong, the people I am referring to are still millennials but are younger millennials

    Janson on
    Jedoc
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    My mom is on a cruise this week so there isn't anyone to talk to until they get back.

    Farts.

  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited December 2019
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    Doodmann wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    I’m going insane. I cannot take the hot/cold shit anymore. One day she’s super friendly, chatty, even ambiguously flirty; the next day she acts like I’m not there. It wouldn’t drive me so crazy if I didn’t see and interact with her almost every day at work.

    I can’t do this anymore. I need to leave this job. Maybe this city. She is driving me insane.

    I feel like a Stepford smiler right now.

    Drez, I might have missed a post somewhere but is this a person you are currently romantically involved with?

    No, and I’m just trying to figure out our friendship at this point. One day we’re cool, she’s asking my advice, including me in in this, this, and that, making suggestions about doing this, this, and that after work or on the weekend or whatever, treating me like a confidant, someone close, and then hours on the same day with zero interaction later she’s cold, aloof, even dismissive, and it doesn’t feel like her general demeanor changed because she seems to be consistent with other people in the office. It’s like she turns her friendliness toward me on and off at random. She did it to me yesterday and again today. I’m really tired and frustrated. I hate just about everyone else at work so I don’t even know what to do anymore.

    I'd say distance yourself from her in general Drez, like don't stop being friends necessarily but orient yourself so that cold, aloof, even dismissive is the expected. She's just not as close of a friend as you think she is. Or you're more invested than she is.

    this is the not best advice

    treat her like a close friend because she's s clearly exactly that. if that is not something you can do, which is fine and understandable, the best thing is to tell her that

    I do feel like she is a close friend (usually) and I feel like she feels I am too (usually) and I don't want to drop her like a sack of potatoes, but I don't fucking understand those times where she just treats me like a nonentity.

    I've actually talked to her about it, somewhat. Like this one time she dismissed something I said (again in a work context) and she could tell I got angry and upset about it. So she asked me and I explained that I felt she was being dismissive and some more around how I felt about it and she apologized and said she'd do her best to be more cognizant and I think she was for awhile but then just back to the same shit.

    I think I have some rather deep-seated hangups about feeling dismissed and ignored in general and feel that a real friend would at least try not to do that, whether its within a work context or not.

    Drez on
    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238
    Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
    Playing: Persona 5 Royal (PS4), Animal Crossing (SW), FF7remake (PS4)
  • PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Realtor Santa ClaritaRegistered User regular
    Drez wrote: »
    Cello wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    As much as I’d just love to disengage completely, every time I make the decision to do that and actually just don’t engage with her at all, she pulls me back in. I feel like a ping-pong ball.

    Anyway, I just wanted to vent. I’ll just suffer for now, it’s what I do best anyway.

    This is the coworker that went with me as a date to my ex-friend/other coworker’s wedding who then tried to fuck her a couple of months later. Unfortunately I have a clusterfuck of emotion exacerbated by still having to work with him sitting behind me too.

    This is way way easier for me to say than it will be for you to do - but you don't have to let her pull you back in. There are no strings on you, you are as in control as you do or do not want to be.

    I say this from a place of having been there and almost having something like this (but not quite) break me up for far too long. It is not easy, it is not fun, but it is 100% the best thing you can do for yourself. There are a handful of reasons she might be acting this way but you actually don't really need to concern yourself with any of them. You gotta do you, man, and this shit is not healthy for you.

    Nor is the whole "I shall suffer because it is what I am good at." Just cause you have doesn't mean that it defines you. Also, you're not getting bonus points for it. Not a soul is looking toward you and going "ya know? he suffers REALLY well...I admire it."

    Live your best life, dude. And that honestly doesn't involve this person as a main player in the least.

    Thanks, this...helps a lot more than I thought it would.

    All I can really say from the little context we have is that if she was thoroughly interested in dating she wouldn't pull the aloofness card

    There were several guys back in uni and the occasional one since in the workplace where I would very much like and want to be friends with them, but sense their romantic interest, and as a defense mechanism I'd go colder when it became very obvious that they were leaning harder into a crush, until they seemed to be over it and we could go back to being friends again

    It'd be great if we could just talk openly about where things stand but women don't have as much access to that option for fear of retribution, generally

    Get a new job and see if it's easier to maintain an amicable relationship from there

    I hear you and I've been in that situation too, but that's definitely not what's going on. I'm very self-aware and I know what vibe I'm giving out and if anything, I'm the consistent one here. This morning, she was kind of shitty to me about some work thing (which she was actually wrong about). Then a couple of hours later (with absolutely no communication or contact between us since that first conversation) she came over talking about some semi-work related thing enthusiastically. Then, later, before close of business, when I tried to again approach her about a work thing again she was again shitty and dismissive toward me.

    Hell, typing that out it feels weird. It's like the inverse of what you would expect, like me trying to discuss non-work stuff would be the trigger, but I actually felt awkward approaching her about a work thing. Anyway, the way she acted toward me today was frankly all over the map. It was frustrating to say the least. And it's not tyhe first time. It's not even the hundredth time. There are days where I go home on a Thursday/Friday after having like a 2-3 hour conversation with her and then on Monday I feel invisible. About 6-8 weeks ago I met her for brunch on Sunday with a fairly deep discussion and then the next day at work it was like I was invisible. I would say the the difference is the locale or the context, but she's pulled me aside dozens of times at work to talk to me about personal things.

    I feel like a yo-yo.

    I mean, a similar thing to what happened today happened yesterday, too, to the point where I had actually (for the umpteenth time) swore her off completely and by the end of the day we grabbed a couple of drinks at her suggestion (with another coworker).

    I know exactly what you mean by the "back off until things cool down" thing but that's definitely not what's going on here. I could totally recognize and understand it if it was that. I'm like, very subdued and aware of everything you are talking about.

    Are all of these interactions the two of you totally alone with nobody else in earshot? She could be treating you coldly while another specific person is around, or the other way around. Or just when people are around. There could be variables you're just not noticing.

  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    Turns out that VSCO does not stand for Visual Communications.

    It does involve a sort of visual communication, though.

    Magic Pink
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    Cello wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    As much as I’d just love to disengage completely, every time I make the decision to do that and actually just don’t engage with her at all, she pulls me back in. I feel like a ping-pong ball.

    Anyway, I just wanted to vent. I’ll just suffer for now, it’s what I do best anyway.

    This is the coworker that went with me as a date to my ex-friend/other coworker’s wedding who then tried to fuck her a couple of months later. Unfortunately I have a clusterfuck of emotion exacerbated by still having to work with him sitting behind me too.

    This is way way easier for me to say than it will be for you to do - but you don't have to let her pull you back in. There are no strings on you, you are as in control as you do or do not want to be.

    I say this from a place of having been there and almost having something like this (but not quite) break me up for far too long. It is not easy, it is not fun, but it is 100% the best thing you can do for yourself. There are a handful of reasons she might be acting this way but you actually don't really need to concern yourself with any of them. You gotta do you, man, and this shit is not healthy for you.

    Nor is the whole "I shall suffer because it is what I am good at." Just cause you have doesn't mean that it defines you. Also, you're not getting bonus points for it. Not a soul is looking toward you and going "ya know? he suffers REALLY well...I admire it."

    Live your best life, dude. And that honestly doesn't involve this person as a main player in the least.

    Thanks, this...helps a lot more than I thought it would.

    All I can really say from the little context we have is that if she was thoroughly interested in dating she wouldn't pull the aloofness card

    There were several guys back in uni and the occasional one since in the workplace where I would very much like and want to be friends with them, but sense their romantic interest, and as a defense mechanism I'd go colder when it became very obvious that they were leaning harder into a crush, until they seemed to be over it and we could go back to being friends again

    It'd be great if we could just talk openly about where things stand but women don't have as much access to that option for fear of retribution, generally

    Get a new job and see if it's easier to maintain an amicable relationship from there

    I hear you and I've been in that situation too, but that's definitely not what's going on. I'm very self-aware and I know what vibe I'm giving out and if anything, I'm the consistent one here. This morning, she was kind of shitty to me about some work thing (which she was actually wrong about). Then a couple of hours later (with absolutely no communication or contact between us since that first conversation) she came over talking about some semi-work related thing enthusiastically. Then, later, before close of business, when I tried to again approach her about a work thing again she was again shitty and dismissive toward me.

    Hell, typing that out it feels weird. It's like the inverse of what you would expect, like me trying to discuss non-work stuff would be the trigger, but I actually felt awkward approaching her about a work thing. Anyway, the way she acted toward me today was frankly all over the map. It was frustrating to say the least. And it's not tyhe first time. It's not even the hundredth time. There are days where I go home on a Thursday/Friday after having like a 2-3 hour conversation with her and then on Monday I feel invisible. About 6-8 weeks ago I met her for brunch on Sunday with a fairly deep discussion and then the next day at work it was like I was invisible. I would say the the difference is the locale or the context, but she's pulled me aside dozens of times at work to talk to me about personal things.

    I feel like a yo-yo.

    I mean, a similar thing to what happened today happened yesterday, too, to the point where I had actually (for the umpteenth time) swore her off completely and by the end of the day we grabbed a couple of drinks at her suggestion (with another coworker).

    I know exactly what you mean by the "back off until things cool down" thing but that's definitely not what's going on here. I could totally recognize and understand it if it was that. I'm like, very subdued and aware of everything you are talking about.

    Are all of these interactions the two of you totally alone with nobody else in earshot? She could be treating you coldly while another specific person is around, or the other way around. Or just when people are around. There could be variables you're just not noticing.

    Nah, it's nothing to do with that, I'm 100% certain. In fact, I sometimes get uncomfortable myself when we openly talk about certain things on the floor. A couple of weeks ago I even asked her if we could talk about something later in private rather than openly. If anything, I'm more concerned about that kind of stuff than she is.

    And even if that weren't the case and I am wrong, being cold toward me while discussing a specific meeting a 100% work-related topic, is just weird anyway. But, no, that's not it.

    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238
    Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
    Playing: Persona 5 Royal (PS4), Animal Crossing (SW), FF7remake (PS4)
  • never dienever die Registered User regular
    Brolo wrote: »


    nyjztF0.jpg
    PurmbpZ.jpg
    5LNTdh9.jpg

    but... but I'm only 35... that's not... that's not that old...

    i survived with flying colors

    i was worried i would not

    i am truly the eternal teen

    I also passed...fucking somehow. Context clues were helpful for most of it. The ones I missed were things with zero context.

    Jedoc
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    I apparently aced that quiz.

    I have no idea what any of those things are.

    What.... I am so old

    Doodmann
  • JedocJedoc Bringing the past to life so we can beat it to death with a shovelRegistered User regular
    Okay, I took your wretched quiz.
    1. I suspect actual teens would watch this video and get the same kind of uncanny creep vibes we used to get from DARE videos.
    2. The compact digital camera having "retro vibes" hurt my heart. You win this round, teens.
    3. I passed this quiz for cool kids with the same skills that made me uncool in high school: being good at figuring out the underlying logic of multiple choice tests. Your move, cool kids.
    4. It was worth it for the grown ass adult saying "You win! You're a teen! We're all teens."

    GDdCWMm.jpg
    never dielonelyahavasarukun
  • miscellaneousinsanitymiscellaneousinsanity grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brother, i hurt peopleRegistered User regular
    i only missed one

    ya yeet

  • chromdomchromdom Who? Where?Registered User regular
    I passed too.

    My guess is this quiz is not very accurate. We would not fool the teens, fellow old people.

    Drez wrote: »

    Being quoted out of context is honestly what I live for.
    never dieJansonJedoc
  • 3clipse3clipse I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    The idea that I would want people to believe I am a Hip Teen is

    it's a little upsetting

    I really did not enjoy being a teenager for even a fraction of a second.

    BrololonelyahavaDepressperadosarukun
  • JedocJedoc Bringing the past to life so we can beat it to death with a shovelRegistered User regular
    i only missed one

    ya yeet

    nzw0agqi5i38.png

    GDdCWMm.jpg
    DouglasDangerVirgil_Leads_You
  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    edited December 2019
    3clipse wrote: »
    The idea that I would want people to believe I am a Hip Teen is

    it's a little upsetting

    I really did not enjoy being a teenager for even a fraction of a second.

    that's the fucked up thing

    my teen years were a non-stop cavalcade of fucking terrible

    I'd still kill to be a teenager again because somehow everything's gotten worse since then

    Depressperado on
    WhiteZinfandel
  • chr1sh4ll3ttb3chr1sh4ll3ttb3 A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    Janson wrote: »
    I love working with younger people

    Until I realize they’re paid more than me, have a 401k double mine, and have zero dependents...

    I know gen z are supposed to be better off than we millennials were at their age but it’s hard to see the raw figures; I think I preferred it when I was doing accounting for boomers and could attribute their net worth to age

    Edit: okay, I got my years wrong, the people I am referring to are still millennials but are younger millennials

    Oh, I dunno! You had a job in the UK before you moved to the 'States, right? Just think, you could have tens of pounds of government pension waiting for you!

    JansonSporkAndrew
  • Rorshach KringleRorshach Kringle that crustache life Registered User regular
    being a teen kicks ass

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  • 3clipse3clipse I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    No, it really doesn't.

    sarukunchr1sh4ll3ttb3BroloMagic PinkWeaverNightDragonOrcaBobbleHacksaw
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    My teen years were far from typical but yeah they were hell and still make it hard for me to relate to other people even into my early thirties.

  • JuggernutJuggernut Registered User regular
    I'm 26 and that quiz made me feel the full weight of countless years bear down upon my shoulders.

    I want to yell at the youths. I want to yell at them for reasons I do not understand. Is it my own waning relevance, my own creeping mortality that fills me with a desperate need to cling, bloody and bitter, to the hazy ghost of familiarity that I may preserve some semblance of a legacy long after I lay mouldering in the loamy earth?

    Like the Pharoah's before who built up great pyramids and obelisks so, too, will I build up movies, video games and anime from the late 90's and early 00's as a monument to my childhood exclusively. Lo, I will shout down with the thunder of the gods all those who come after and would usurp me.

    Orca
  • JedocJedoc Bringing the past to life so we can beat it to death with a shovelRegistered User regular
    Juggernut wrote: »
    I'm 26 and that quiz made me feel the full weight of countless years bear down upon my shoulders.

    I want to yell at the youths. I want to yell at them for reasons I do not understand. Is it my own waning relevance, my own creeping mortality that fills me with a desperate need to cling, bloody and bitter, to the hazy ghost of familiarity that I may preserve some semblance of a legacy long after I lay mouldering in the loamy earth?

    Like the Pharoah's before who built up great pyramids and obelisks so, too, will I build up movies, video games and anime from the late 90's and early 00's as a monument to my childhood exclusively. Lo, I will shout down with the thunder of the gods all those who come after and would usurp me.

    So the Boomers have captured Christmas for like the next century. They put it in a little box and now it's the late 60s forever in there, with fake snow.

    Is there a holiday we can capture and make our own and just infuriate and freak out the next couple of generations?

    I recommend we chop and screw Thanksgiving. Just make it really uncomfortable for old folks who don't believe in American genocide and super trite and obvious for the young who have fully internalized and rejected our crimes.

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    3clipseJuggernutOrca
  • UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    Drez wrote: »
    As much as I’d just love to disengage completely, every time I make the decision to do that and actually just don’t engage with her at all, she pulls me back in. I feel like a ping-pong ball.

    Anyway, I just wanted to vent. I’ll just suffer for now, it’s what I do best anyway.

    This is the coworker that went with me as a date to my ex-friend/other coworker’s wedding who then tried to fuck her a couple of months later. Unfortunately I have a clusterfuck of emotion exacerbated by still having to work with him sitting behind me too.

    My dude, this person only has power over your choices if you give it to them.

    Choose differently. Disengage. Grey rock if you need to! And remember that anything less than a wildly enthusiastic Hell Yes is a No.

    Cellosarukunchr1sh4ll3ttb33clipseLabelJansonNightDragonOrcaDrZiplockDouglasDangerLaOsTonkkaLiiya
  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited December 2019
    Drez wrote: »
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    Cello wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    As much as I’d just love to disengage completely, every time I make the decision to do that and actually just don’t engage with her at all, she pulls me back in. I feel like a ping-pong ball.

    Anyway, I just wanted to vent. I’ll just suffer for now, it’s what I do best anyway.

    This is the coworker that went with me as a date to my ex-friend/other coworker’s wedding who then tried to fuck her a couple of months later. Unfortunately I have a clusterfuck of emotion exacerbated by still having to work with him sitting behind me too.

    This is way way easier for me to say than it will be for you to do - but you don't have to let her pull you back in. There are no strings on you, you are as in control as you do or do not want to be.

    I say this from a place of having been there and almost having something like this (but not quite) break me up for far too long. It is not easy, it is not fun, but it is 100% the best thing you can do for yourself. There are a handful of reasons she might be acting this way but you actually don't really need to concern yourself with any of them. You gotta do you, man, and this shit is not healthy for you.

    Nor is the whole "I shall suffer because it is what I am good at." Just cause you have doesn't mean that it defines you. Also, you're not getting bonus points for it. Not a soul is looking toward you and going "ya know? he suffers REALLY well...I admire it."

    Live your best life, dude. And that honestly doesn't involve this person as a main player in the least.

    Thanks, this...helps a lot more than I thought it would.

    All I can really say from the little context we have is that if she was thoroughly interested in dating she wouldn't pull the aloofness card

    There were several guys back in uni and the occasional one since in the workplace where I would very much like and want to be friends with them, but sense their romantic interest, and as a defense mechanism I'd go colder when it became very obvious that they were leaning harder into a crush, until they seemed to be over it and we could go back to being friends again

    It'd be great if we could just talk openly about where things stand but women don't have as much access to that option for fear of retribution, generally

    Get a new job and see if it's easier to maintain an amicable relationship from there

    I hear you and I've been in that situation too, but that's definitely not what's going on. I'm very self-aware and I know what vibe I'm giving out and if anything, I'm the consistent one here. This morning, she was kind of shitty to me about some work thing (which she was actually wrong about). Then a couple of hours later (with absolutely no communication or contact between us since that first conversation) she came over talking about some semi-work related thing enthusiastically. Then, later, before close of business, when I tried to again approach her about a work thing again she was again shitty and dismissive toward me.

    Hell, typing that out it feels weird. It's like the inverse of what you would expect, like me trying to discuss non-work stuff would be the trigger, but I actually felt awkward approaching her about a work thing. Anyway, the way she acted toward me today was frankly all over the map. It was frustrating to say the least. And it's not tyhe first time. It's not even the hundredth time. There are days where I go home on a Thursday/Friday after having like a 2-3 hour conversation with her and then on Monday I feel invisible. About 6-8 weeks ago I met her for brunch on Sunday with a fairly deep discussion and then the next day at work it was like I was invisible. I would say the the difference is the locale or the context, but she's pulled me aside dozens of times at work to talk to me about personal things.

    I feel like a yo-yo.

    I mean, a similar thing to what happened today happened yesterday, too, to the point where I had actually (for the umpteenth time) swore her off completely and by the end of the day we grabbed a couple of drinks at her suggestion (with another coworker).

    I know exactly what you mean by the "back off until things cool down" thing but that's definitely not what's going on here. I could totally recognize and understand it if it was that. I'm like, very subdued and aware of everything you are talking about.

    Are all of these interactions the two of you totally alone with nobody else in earshot? She could be treating you coldly while another specific person is around, or the other way around. Or just when people are around. There could be variables you're just not noticing.

    Nah, it's nothing to do with that, I'm 100% certain. In fact, I sometimes get uncomfortable myself when we openly talk about certain things on the floor. A couple of weeks ago I even asked her if we could talk about something later in private rather than openly. If anything, I'm more concerned about that kind of stuff than she is.

    And even if that weren't the case and I am wrong, being cold toward me while discussing a specific meeting a 100% work-related topic, is just weird anyway. But, no, that's not it.

    Dogg I'm sorry but it sounds like maybe she just sucks. Like I'm sure she must have good qualities but everything you've said makes her sound like just a bad friend.

    Also, as someone who invested way too much in a work relationship, my #1 top tip is not assigning any personal value to anything work related. Keep that shit 100% emotionally separare.

    Houk the Namebringer on
    JuggernutsarukunDouglasDangerArmoroc
  • CelloCello Registered User regular
    If she's a good friend outside of work and only weird in a personal context at work, it's just another reason to quit and only keep the good part of the friendship

    But if she's also putting you through that much discomfort in this capacity, that isn't something likely to improve even if she seemed open to a relationship, because you're already getting the 8 hours a day hangout experience as it is and feeling dragged along

    Steam
    3DS Friend Code: 0216-0898-6512
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  • Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    Drez wrote: »
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    Doodmann wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    I’m going insane. I cannot take the hot/cold shit anymore. One day she’s super friendly, chatty, even ambiguously flirty; the next day she acts like I’m not there. It wouldn’t drive me so crazy if I didn’t see and interact with her almost every day at work.

    I can’t do this anymore. I need to leave this job. Maybe this city. She is driving me insane.

    I feel like a Stepford smiler right now.

    Drez, I might have missed a post somewhere but is this a person you are currently romantically involved with?

    No, and I’m just trying to figure out our friendship at this point. One day we’re cool, she’s asking my advice, including me in in this, this, and that, making suggestions about doing this, this, and that after work or on the weekend or whatever, treating me like a confidant, someone close, and then hours on the same day with zero interaction later she’s cold, aloof, even dismissive, and it doesn’t feel like her general demeanor changed because she seems to be consistent with other people in the office. It’s like she turns her friendliness toward me on and off at random. She did it to me yesterday and again today. I’m really tired and frustrated. I hate just about everyone else at work so I don’t even know what to do anymore.

    I'd say distance yourself from her in general Drez, like don't stop being friends necessarily but orient yourself so that cold, aloof, even dismissive is the expected. She's just not as close of a friend as you think she is. Or you're more invested than she is.

    this is the not best advice

    treat her like a close friend because she's s clearly exactly that. if that is not something you can do, which is fine and understandable, the best thing is to tell her that

    I do feel like she is a close friend (usually) and I feel like she feels I am too (usually) and I don't want to drop her like a sack of potatoes, but I don't fucking understand those times where she just treats me like a nonentity.

    I've actually talked to her about it, somewhat. Like this one time she dismissed something I said (again in a work context) and she could tell I got angry and upset about it. So she asked me and I explained that I felt she was being dismissive and some more around how I felt about it and she apologized and said she'd do her best to be more cognizant and I think she was for awhile but then just back to the same shit.

    I think I have some rather deep-seated hangups about feeling dismissed and ignored in general and feel that a real friend would at least try not to do that, whether its within a work context or not.

    i'm going to go out on a stupid limb and say she most likely has some social anxiety issues

    nothing against and total respect to how you feel but sometimes those people just need to curl up and avoid everything

    in any case it deffo sounds like you should look for romanticism elsewhere

  • Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    Brolo wrote: »


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    but... but I'm only 35... that's not... that's not that old...

    i am THRILLED to have failed this. get off my lawn etc. :cry:

    Xaquinsarukun
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    I don't really have anything to do for christmas since everyone else is going out of state so I booked myself a hotel room to go out to the little German town out in the mountains for their christmas lights festival things. And then in January I'm going out to a totally different set of mountains! Two mountains winter!

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    never dieJansonwebguy20chromdomSorcesarukunXaquinLaOsArmorocElvenshaeLiiya
  • Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    I went on a date I hadn’t been on one in a while

    I enjoyed it more than I expected I would, like it was 5 hrs long

    But I was awkward about it at the end idk it’s been a while since anything good I have lost my confidence etc

    poo
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