Star Trek: Give Us Sexy Dolphins Now!!

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  • override367override367 ALL minions Registered User regular
    Cambiata wrote: »
    Captain • Mirror Universe Kira (DS9)
    First Officer • Number One (PIC)
    Science • Gegen the dinosaur-man (VOY)
    Engineer • Geordi La Forge but as that weird glowy gecko alien (TNG)
    Doctor • Stavos (TAS)
    Security • fuck it, the robotic food guardian near the end of Logan's Run, the one that goes "FISH, PLANKTON, SEA-GREENS, AND PROTEINS FROM THE SEA" (Logan's Run)
    Helm • The giant space-faring waterbear (DISCO)
    Communications • Abraham Lincoln (TOS)
    Operations • the giraffe skull that the show tries to pass off as the skull of some bird alien (ENT)
    Counselor • Sigmund Freud (TNG)
    Civilian • Neelix because he deserves this

    You can tell the order at which I made these picks because i increasingly threw my hands up in the air about the decision-making

    I'm disappointed that "Tom Paris as a Salamander" ddn't make your crew.

    You wouldn't need anyone else, Tom Paris can do just about everything anyway, and Hyper-Tom-Paris can also reproduce at an astonishing rate

    Shadowen
  • BloodySlothBloodySloth Registered User regular
    edited June 27
    Cambiata wrote: »
    Captain • Mirror Universe Kira (DS9)
    First Officer • Number One (PIC)
    Science • Gegen the dinosaur-man (VOY)
    Engineer • Geordi La Forge but as that weird glowy gecko alien (TNG)
    Doctor • Stavos (TAS)
    Security • fuck it, the robotic food guardian near the end of Logan's Run, the one that goes "FISH, PLANKTON, SEA-GREENS, AND PROTEINS FROM THE SEA" (Logan's Run)
    Helm • The giant space-faring waterbear (DISCO)
    Communications • Abraham Lincoln (TOS)
    Operations • the giraffe skull that the show tries to pass off as the skull of some bird alien (ENT)
    Counselor • Sigmund Freud (TNG)
    Civilian • Neelix because he deserves this

    You can tell the order at which I made these picks because i increasingly threw my hands up in the air about the decision-making

    I'm disappointed that "Tom Paris as a Salamander" ddn't make your crew.

    Shit! Back to the drawing board. Actually, "Barclay plugged into the holodeck" would probably make a better Ops officer than the giraffe skull, as well. I thought about "Kirk that time he thought he was a medicine man" as doctor, but the episode made me feel too uncomfortable so I dropped him. Maybe an actual eugenicist is an even worse pick, in retrospect.

    Edit: Although if I drop the giraffe skull, I won't have any picks from Enterprise. This is a tricky one.

    BloodySloth on
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  • HevachHevach Registered User regular
    Archer with the ceremonial chain saw.

    CambiataNightslyroverride367BloodySlothShadowenH3Knuckles
  • Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    My ideal crew is all Kirk dressed as the other members of his crew, and Scotty.

  • BloodySlothBloodySloth Registered User regular
    edited June 27
    My ideal crew is all Kirk dressed as the other members of his crew, and Scotty.

    It'd have to be Bones as the only other person, upon thinking about it. At least in my vision of the situation

    kirk delivering a half-hearted spock impersonation everytime he talks with bones, just to make him mad

    BloodySloth on
  • AuralynxAuralynx Darkness is a perspective Watching the ego workRegistered User regular
    Captain • Mirror Universe Kira (DS9)
    First Officer • Number One (PIC)
    Science • Gegen the dinosaur-man (VOY)
    Engineer • Geordi La Forge but as that weird glowy gecko alien (TNG)
    Doctor • Stavos (TAS)
    Security • fuck it, the robotic food guardian near the end of Logan's Run, the one that goes "FISH, PLANKTON, SEA-GREENS, AND PROTEINS FROM THE SEA" (Logan's Run)
    Helm • The giant space-faring waterbear (DISCO)
    Communications • Abraham Lincoln (TOS)
    Operations • the giraffe skull that the show tries to pass off as the skull of some bird alien (ENT)
    Counselor • Sigmund Freud (TNG)
    Civilian • Neelix because he deserves this

    You can tell the order at which I made these picks because i increasingly threw my hands up in the air about the decision-making

    Mirror Universe Kira for Captain makes me wonder what the horniest crew would look like.

    Kirk, Mirror Kira, Riker, season to taste, honestly.

    kshu0oba7xnr.png

    H3Knuckles
  • SneaksSneaks Registered User regular
    edited June 27
    Auralynx wrote: »
    Mirror Universe Kira for Captain makes me wonder what the horniest crew would look like.
    Kirk, Mirror Kira, Riker, season to taste, honestly.
    Counselor • Lwaxana Troi

    Sneaks on
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  • JacobkoshJacobkosh Gamble a stamp. I can show you how to be a real man!Moderator mod
    DanHibiki wrote: »
    H3Knuckles wrote: »
    Richy wrote: »
    Hevach wrote: »
    Strikor wrote: »
    You could actually get 2 bonus Rikers if you include Thomas.

    One more from Hobo Beard Riker in Parallels, who may have been crazy but he did keep the ship going for, what, three years at that point after the Federation fell.

    An argument could be made that Admiral Riker from All Good Things counts as an available bonus.

    Through the power of Time Travel I'm just going to claim a few copies of TNG riker to fill out my roster
    Captain • Old Riker (All Good Things/TNG)
    First Officer • Bearded Riker (Season 3/TNG)
    Science • Jonathan Frakes (Host, Beyond Belief)
    Engineer • Lt Thomas Riker (Second Chances/TNG)
    Doctor • Grizzled Riker (Parallels/TNG)
    Security • Swashbuckler Riker (Hollow Pursuits/TNG)
    Helm • Beardless Riker (Encounter at Farpoint/TNG)
    Communications • Odan Possessed Riker (The Host/TNG)
    Operations • Maquis Thomas Riker (Defiant/DS9)
    Counselor • Sexy Nipple RIker (Angel One/TNG)
    Civilian • Chef Riker (These Are The Voyagers/ENT)

    Xanatos needs a spot in there.

    Xanatos is the antagonist. Just make the whole thing a one-man show.

    I mean if we're doing villain ships:
    Captain: Shran
    First Officer: Weyoun
    Security: Brunt
    Helm : Krem
    Ops : Tiron
    with the rest filled out by the various Weyouns
    Science officer: The Question

    I would legitimately pay money to watch this

    He would just blame every spatial anomaly on 5G!

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    override367
  • Ninja Snarl PNinja Snarl P My helmet is my burden. Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered User regular
    edited June 27
    Captain: Overconfident Barclay that thinks he is in a holodeck program
    First Officer: Regular twitchy Barclay
    Security: Spider Barclay
    Helm: Barclay that still see interdimensional things
    Ops: Superbrain Barclay
    Engineering: Hologram Barclay
    Counselor: Future well-adjusted Barclay who is only moderately twitchy now

    The advantage of this ship is that any visitor, be they Borg or Q, would pop onto the bridge, share a few seconds of awkward silence appraising the situation, and then promptly depart, leaving the ship and crew utterly untouched.

    Ninja Snarl P on
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  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    Captain: Overconfident Barclay that thinks he is in a holodeck program
    First Officer: Regular twitchy Barclay
    Security: Spider Barclay
    Helm: Barclay that still see interdimensional things
    Ops: Superbrain Barclay
    Engineering: Hologram Barclay
    Counselor: Future well-adjusted Barclay who is only moderately twitchy now

    The advantage of this ship is that any visitor, be they Borg or Q, would pop onto the bridge, share a few seconds of awkward silence appraising the situation, and then promptly depart, leaving the ship and crew utterly untouched.

    I'd feel really sorry for your Counselor, having to deal with all of his old neurosis again... Ugh.
    Even with the benefit of hindsight, somehow I doubt saying "Here's what worked for me when I was you..." would be all that helpful.

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
  • Ninja Snarl PNinja Snarl P My helmet is my burden. Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered User regular
    Counselor Barclay is also the ambassador because he gets to introduce new races to all of himself and say "I used to be all of these guys and look how great I'm doing now thanks to the Federation and you can join too!"

  • Dark_SideDark_Side Registered User regular
    Captain: Overconfident Barclay that thinks he is in a holodeck program
    First Officer: Regular twitchy Barclay
    Security: Spider Barclay
    Helm: Barclay that still see interdimensional things
    Ops: Superbrain Barclay
    Engineering: Hologram Barclay
    Counselor: Future well-adjusted Barclay who is only moderately twitchy now

    The advantage of this ship is that any visitor, be they Borg or Q, would pop onto the bridge, share a few seconds of awkward silence appraising the situation, and then promptly depart, leaving the ship and crew utterly untouched.

    Where does bad hairpiece Barclay fit into this?

  • DanHibikiDanHibiki Registered User regular
    Sneaks wrote: »
    Auralynx wrote: »
    Mirror Universe Kira for Captain makes me wonder what the horniest crew would look like.
    Kirk, Mirror Kira, Riker, season to taste, honestly.
    Counselor • Lwaxana Troi

    i think i found the concept art for this ship
    zd92nemrsb28.jpg

  • CroakerBCCroakerBC TorontoRegistered User regular
    DanHibiki wrote: »
    Sneaks wrote: »
    Auralynx wrote: »
    Mirror Universe Kira for Captain makes me wonder what the horniest crew would look like.
    Kirk, Mirror Kira, Riker, season to taste, honestly.
    Counselor • Lwaxana Troi

    i think i found the concept art for this ship
    zd92nemrsb28.jpg

    Pretty sure they already made this series of Thirsty Trek, it was called Lexx...

    H3KnucklesStrikorAuralynxshrykeDonnictonZilla360override367Xantomas
  • Ninja Snarl PNinja Snarl P My helmet is my burden. Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered User regular
    Dark_Side wrote: »
    Captain: Overconfident Barclay that thinks he is in a holodeck program
    First Officer: Regular twitchy Barclay
    Security: Spider Barclay
    Helm: Barclay that still see interdimensional things
    Ops: Superbrain Barclay
    Engineering: Hologram Barclay
    Counselor: Future well-adjusted Barclay who is only moderately twitchy now

    The advantage of this ship is that any visitor, be they Borg or Q, would pop onto the bridge, share a few seconds of awkward silence appraising the situation, and then promptly depart, leaving the ship and crew utterly untouched.

    Where does bad hairpiece Barclay fit into this?

    In accordance with Federation law, hairpiece officers are interchangeable with captains.

  • JacobkoshJacobkosh Gamble a stamp. I can show you how to be a real man!Moderator mod
    MASTERCLASS™ presents AVERY BROOKS on ACTING

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  • That_GuyThat_Guy I don't wanna be that guy Registered User regular
    Jacobkosh wrote: »
    MASTERCLASS™ presents AVERY BROOKS on ACTING

    begES5Xl.png?1

    fhdw0byu3mnj.jpg

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  • That_GuyThat_Guy I don't wanna be that guy Registered User regular
    Huh, so Lower Decks is actually coming out, after all. It will premiere on Thursday, August 6.

    https://www.startrek.com/news/star-trek-lower-decks-sets-release-date

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    BloodySlothH3Knuckles
  • BloodySlothBloodySloth Registered User regular
    Love the concept of Lower Decks... but it looks awful, aesthetically. Have any clips been released?

    H3Knuckles
  • CambiataCambiata Commander Shepard The likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered User regular
    Love the concept of Lower Decks... but it looks awful, aesthetically. Have any clips been released?

    Yeah, I hate the visual style of so many modern cartoons. I think Family Guy poisoned the well if I'm honest.

    AbsoluteZero
  • That_GuyThat_Guy I don't wanna be that guy Registered User regular
    Calarts was a mistake.

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    CambiataTofystedethDonnictonDanHibikiNightslyrshrykeoverride367
  • CoinageCoinage Heaviside LayerRegistered User regular
    That's not even the "CalArts style", the meme is for shows that look like Gravity Falls and Stephen Universe. And yes I don't like how those shows look but it's a disingenuous criticism. Wow animation searching for broad commercial appeal, with a tight budget, made in Flash, and starring humans looks similar, it must be because they were indoctrinated by the school they went to. They should all have been self-taught renegade geniuses like you, noted rapist John K.

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    H3KnucklesJandaru
  • Ninja Snarl PNinja Snarl P My helmet is my burden. Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered User regular
    The problem for me is that it's clearly the identical style to Rick and Morty. The style itself is fine, it's just that it's a very specific, distinctive style attached to a very specific, distinctive show. I'm not at all interested in something animated like Rick and Morty but sanitized to the point of being a Trek show, particularly since Trek tropes are the sort of thing Rick and Morty would go after. Neither am I interested in something Trek trying to ape Rick and Morty.

    H3Knuckles
  • Commander ZoomCommander Zoom Registered User regular
    Isn't this, in fact, explicitly by (some of) the Rick and Morty people?
    So if I recall correctly: to the people making and/or approving this, that is not a coincidence or a bug, but a feature. Working as intended.

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    Jacobkosh
  • The WolfmanThe Wolfman Registered User regular
    Yeah, finding out the creator also worked on both Rick and Morty and Solar Opposites explains a lot. Though it also looks and feels like maybe it's also trying to crib off the trend that Teen Titans Go started. A trend since picked up by Thundercats, and even My Little Pony of all things. I'm willing to give it a shot, but I'm worried it'll try to be much too zany and wacky for its own good. Who knows though, it might actually work. I'll be damned if I can explain how or why Teen Titans Go works, but it does.

    "The sausage of Green Earth explodes with flavor like the cannon of culinary delight."
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  • Commander ZoomCommander Zoom Registered User regular
    edited July 2
    EDIT: eh, deleted.

    Commander Zoom on
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  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
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  • MsAnthropyMsAnthropy Our Lady of Perpetual Mazes The CageRegistered User regular
    This article by Talia Lavin on her first time watchthrough of TNG is great.
    https://www.startrek.com/news/watching-the-next-generation-in-a-time-of-pandemic-and-uprising

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  • That_GuyThat_Guy I don't wanna be that guy Registered User regular
    Solar wrote: »

    That implies they had some sort of funeral for Tuvix. What they crew of Voyager did was far more heinous. They murdered the man then pretended the whole thing never happened.

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    CambiataStrikorDonnicton
  • DanHibikiDanHibiki Registered User regular
    edited July 2
    Speaking of which, just watched the episode where the Doctor made a holographic family for himself and the crew went 'wow, what a wholesome family... a little too wholesome... let's kill one of them'

    DanHibiki on
    wandering
  • BloodySlothBloodySloth Registered User regular
    MsAnthropy wrote: »
    This article by Talia Lavin on her first time watchthrough of TNG is great.
    https://www.startrek.com/news/watching-the-next-generation-in-a-time-of-pandemic-and-uprising

    This is a great, heartening read, and also reflects a lot of my experience watching Star Trek and interfacing with its fans that way for the first time as an adult. I wasn't 30, and it wasn't during such a difficult time as this, but still.

    Jacobkoshautono-wally, erotibot300MsAnthropy
  • DanHibikiDanHibiki Registered User regular
    Oh and a few episodes previous Harry Kim was being lured in by a species of space succubi, jokes on them, they've never met a more un-fuckable creature. A man who's idea of pillow talk is "can you tuck me in, like my mommy use to?"

    Nightslyr
  • autono-wally, erotibot300autono-wally, erotibot300 love machine Registered User regular
    MsAnthropy wrote: »
    This article by Talia Lavin on her first time watchthrough of TNG is great.
    https://www.startrek.com/news/watching-the-next-generation-in-a-time-of-pandemic-and-uprising

    This is a great, heartening read, and also reflects a lot of my experience watching Star Trek and interfacing with its fans that way for the first time as an adult. I wasn't 30, and it wasn't during such a difficult time as this, but still.

    Beautiful

    kFJhXwE.jpgkFJhXwE.jpg
  • CoinageCoinage Heaviside LayerRegistered User regular
    DanHibiki wrote: »
    Oh and a few episodes previous Harry Kim was being lured in by a species of space succubi, jokes on them, they've never met a more un-fuckable creature. A man who's idea of pillow talk is "can you tuck me in, like my mommy use to?"
    F for sexy young Howard Hamlin

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  • evilbobevilbob Registered User regular
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  • KupiKupi Registered User regular
    The one part of last night's dreams that hasn't slipped my memory is that I was watching an episode of TNG where the A plot was that objects kept unaccountably swapping positions on the Enterprise, but only those of similar shapes and never while being directly observed. Ultimately it turned out that the transporter was just glitchy and they fixed it. :shrug:

    My favorite musical instrument is the air-raid siren.
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  • sullijosullijo mid-level minion subterranean bunkerRegistered User regular
    Kupi wrote: »
    The one part of last night's dreams that hasn't slipped my memory is that I was watching an episode of TNG where the A plot was that objects kept unaccountably swapping positions on the Enterprise, but only those of similar shapes and never while being directly observed. Ultimately it turned out that the transporter was just glitchy and they fixed it. :shrug:

    That sounds better than most of the episodes from seasons 1 or 2.

    When I was driving once I saw this painted on a bridge:
    "I don't want the world, I just want your half"
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  • That_GuyThat_Guy I don't wanna be that guy Registered User regular
    Kupi wrote: »
    The one part of last night's dreams that hasn't slipped my memory is that I was watching an episode of TNG where the A plot was that objects kept unaccountably swapping positions on the Enterprise, but only those of similar shapes and never while being directly observed. Ultimately it turned out that the transporter was just glitchy and they fixed it. :shrug:

    My dreams never get a conclusion like that. I would probably have woken up while everyone was still freaking out.

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  • The WolfmanThe Wolfman Registered User regular
    Dreams are akin to shows that end season 1 on a ridiculous cliffhanger only to get canceled during the break.

    "The sausage of Green Earth explodes with flavor like the cannon of culinary delight."
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  • That_GuyThat_Guy I don't wanna be that guy Registered User regular
    edited July 7
    This reminded me of a dream I had the other night. I was in LA at that rock quarry where they filmed a bunch of Trek episodes (Bronson Canyon I think) and need to urgently leave for some reason. Being in LA I had no idea where I was going but didn't have enough time to pull up my hotel on my phone. I ran a red light in front of a cop and pulled into a church that ended up being a cult to tried to trap/kidnap me.

    That_Guy on
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