[movie] thread: slam in the back of my jackula

minor incidentminor incident Helen Keller to the bullshitRegistered User regular
edited January 14 in Singularity Engine++
I bet the number of movies where dracula fucks outnumber the ones where he doesn't fuck.

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  • FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    Dracula by definition fucks.

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  • GustavGustav Registered User regular
    Which dracula is the most fuckable

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  • LalaboxLalabox Registered User regular
    edited January 14
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  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    Gustav wrote: »
    Which dracula is the most fuckable

    Blackula

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  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Dig through those ditches, Jackula :winky:

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  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    I like it when authors describe people getting on top and putting the wiener in them as "impaling" themselves and that is why Vlad is the most fuckable.

    RingoAndy Joe
  • AtomicTofuAtomicTofu She's a straight-up supervillain, yo Registered User regular
  • 3clipse3clipse I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    I like it when authors describe people getting on top and putting the wiener in them as "impaling" themselves and that is why Vlad is the most fuckable.

    I mean, I'd take Nick Offerman's spikey cat dick willingly
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  • RingoRingo HE KEEPS REPEATING THE LINE I'M GONNA CRY BLEASE LET HIM LIVE YOU MADE ME WATCH SO MUCH KISSING IN THIS FILM LET INIGO LIVERegistered User regular
    Gustav wrote: »
    Which dracula is the most fuckable

    Richard Roxburgh dracula

    Troy Barnes dracula close second

    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
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    Zonugal
  • ZonugalZonugal The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    Gustav wrote: »
    Which dracula is the most fuckable

    Oh, its Richard Roxburgh's Dracula without a shadow of a doubt.



    Runner up is Gerard Butler from Dracula 2000.

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    tynic
  • LalaboxLalabox Registered User regular
    ah gosh Van Helsing

    that's probably my favourite trash movie. It's terrible, but it's also the most amazing.

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  • TenzytileTenzytile Registered User regular
    edited January 14
    Zhang Wei-Qiang as valuable and sexy silent Chinese ballet dracula:

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  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular


    Where does Leslie Nielson rank on the Dracula bangability scale?

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  • RingoRingo HE KEEPS REPEATING THE LINE I'M GONNA CRY BLEASE LET HIM LIVE YOU MADE ME WATCH SO MUCH KISSING IN THIS FILM LET INIGO LIVERegistered User regular
    Van Helsing is fun trash until the final confrontation

    Then it's just trash

    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
  • Commander ZoomCommander Zoom Registered User regular
    edited January 14
    Van Helsing in 15 minutes (alternate link)
    "NO FAIR STEALING FROM OTHER MOVIES!"
    "Dude, this whole movie is stolen from other movies."

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  • BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    Gustav wrote: »
    Which dracula is the most fuckable

    Count Yorga

    The cool smooth vampire

    Ringo
  • BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    Zonugal wrote: »
    Gustav wrote: »
    Which dracula is the most fuckable

    Oh, its Richard Roxburgh's Dracula without a shadow of a doubt.



    Runner up is Gerard Butler from Dracula 2000.

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  • Undead ScottsmanUndead Scottsman Registered User regular
    Ringo wrote: »
    Van Helsing is fun trash until the final confrontation

    Then it's just trash

    I was so fucking hyped for that movie. I bought the art book and the animated prequel before I ever saw the movie, I was so excited.

    Huge disappointment, but foundational for teaching me to wait to see if I like a thing before going all-in on it.

    Ringowandering
  • LalaboxLalabox Registered User regular
    van helsing is just such a good time

    every time there's something new and entertaining about it

    like hugh jackman's silly oversized hat

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  • GustavGustav Registered User regular
    I don't think Van Helsing is a good time at all!

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  • LalaboxLalabox Registered User regular
    frankenstein hanging out in a huge ice cube and yelling

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  • CoinageCoinage The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter Registered User regular
    In my version, Dracula is impotent, but he does have two penises

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  • minor incidentminor incident Helen Keller to the bullshit Registered User regular
    Coinage wrote: »
    In my version, Dracula is impotent, but he does have two penises

    Some real monkey paw shit, right there.

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    You may not find all that you're after. In the end I hope it doesn't matter.
  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    The show Van Helsing is good, at least

  • Rorshach KringleRorshach Kringle that crustache life Registered User regular
    udo kier dracula, while not the dracula who has fucked most, definitely has been fucked the most

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  • ShortyShorty JUDGE BROSEF Registered User regular
    I saw van helsing in the theater and I can't say I remember very much about it

    Tube wrote: »
    I was legit hoping that Shorty was somehow mistaken and the world wasn't that fucked
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  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    I drew a very sexy dracula

    NSFW

    https://imgur.com/a/BCdGNfD

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  • KetarKetar Ready to feel better about your own miserable lives?Registered User regular
    Ok, so his name was Jerry and not Dracula, but I feel like a discussion of fuckable draculas has to acknowledge Colin Farrell in Fright Night at some point.

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  • StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    Jonathan Rhys Meyers is the sexiest Dracula:

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    Macro9
  • GustavGustav Registered User regular
    Hmm the stakes have gotten higher

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  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    I drew a very sexy dracula

    NSFW

    https://imgur.com/a/BCdGNfD

    Someone left the lead outta that pencil

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  • GustavGustav Registered User regular
    Fang dong

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  • PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Realtor Santa ClaritaRegistered User regular
    Thanks for the new lock screen, Chico. I hope it horrifies strangers at the grocery store.

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  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    man

    penny dreadful

    they sure didn't know how to fucking end that show

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  • ShortyShorty JUDGE BROSEF Registered User regular
    they should have had eva green eat a live man

    Tube wrote: »
    I was legit hoping that Shorty was somehow mistaken and the world wasn't that fucked
    ZonugalOlivaw
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    Shorty wrote: »
    they should have had eva green eat a live man

    I volunteer

    wanderingBobble
  • ShortyShorty JUDGE BROSEF Registered User regular
    they always do

    Tube wrote: »
    I was legit hoping that Shorty was somehow mistaken and the world wasn't that fucked
  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    van Hecksing

    wandering
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    van Hecksing

    this is a family forum

  • PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Realtor Santa ClaritaRegistered User regular
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    van Hecksing

    this is a family forum

    Funny thing for a pip to say.

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