Your [job] is to hand me that report from a safe distance

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  • JavenJaven Registered User regular
    bowen wrote: »
    Uh... Are they worshipping Elon Musk?

    It's strange how many people do.

    Like he's not even a cool rich dude like Gates.

    My friend does work for spacex and he is essentially being bullied and worked to death... and seems to love it?

    Space travel is very romantic, and probably leads to people putting up with more than they should have to.

    OrcaElvenshaeCommander ZoomBucketman
  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    schuss wrote: »
    Also @ bowen if you hate your current working practices perhaps find an organization more in line with what you want.
    Many companies are good to their employees.

    I'm batting ~0:8 at this point.

    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
    Bucketman
  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    That said, I can basically bully people for my preferred meeting times now because I've got things they want (money) since I'm managerial level and decide how we spend it (I was essentially put in charge of my "department's" budget since my boss doesn't want to deal with everything running through him anymore).

    Also you get so much free stuff.

    Why do managers get so much free stuff?

    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
    CambiataElvenshaeKayne Red RobeBucketman
  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    I just get the headache from protecting my budget and proving my teams worth. My employees get more equipment than I do and I wouldn't have it any other way.

    Kayne Red RobeBucketmanKadith
  • Commander ZoomCommander Zoom Registered User regular
    edited May 22
    Jedoc wrote: »
    This is how they get you, man. Turning workers against each other. Can't we all just take a deep breath, relax, and refocus our rage on the C-suite? Where it belongs?



    Look, Elon Musk is making cities in the middle of the country dance for his amusement so he can decide where to escape from California's onerously reasonable regulations.

    And boy, ain't they a-dancin'.

    "I am Elon Musk, and I'm here to ask you a question: Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow?"

    Commander Zoom on
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  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    schuss wrote: »
    I just get the headache from protecting my budget and proving my teams worth. My employees get more equipment than I do and I wouldn't have it any other way.

    solo departments are the best ;)

    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 23
    just finished with my Virbela meetup - oh my GOD that was the most dystopic shit. Pure horror movie stuff. @bowen you would HATE it

    imagine second life but redesigned to be emotionally safe for corporate america's middle-managers
    you can only select wardrobes of varying degrees of business casual (ditto hairstyles). There's some hilarious 'comedy' stock motions - you can make your avatar do a terrible white person dance! Our company has a private office which has a similar floorplan to our real offices, decorated with a bunch of stock corporate buzzwordy posters. You can sit down at a workstation and open a virtual browser and have your avatar browse the internet, just in case your actual life was too stimulating and you needed to experience something blander at a smaller resolution.

    my manager wants to 'work' in there for a few hours next week and was asking for people to volunteer to work (virtually) alongside her, so I assume for C level execs it's a little like returning to the womb.

    tynic on
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  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    Never.Stop.Dancing.

  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    just finished with my Verbera meetup - oh my GOD that was the most dystopic shit. Pure horror movie stuff. @ bowen you would HATE it

    imagine second life but redesigned to be emotionally safe for corporate america's middle-managers
    you can only select wardrobes of varying degrees of business casual (ditto hairstyles). There's some hilarious 'comedy' stock motions - you can make your avatar do a terrible white person dance! Our company has a private office which has a similar floorplan to our real offices, decorated with a bunch of stock corporate buzzwordy posters. You can sit down at a workstation and open a virtual browser and have your avatar browse the internet, just in case your actual life was too stimulating and you needed to experience something blander at a smaller resolution.

    my manager wants to 'work' in there for a few hours next week and was asking for people to volunteer to work (virtually) alongside her, so I assume for C level execs it's a little like returning to the womb.

    this is like the most nightmarish dystopic thing I've heard recently

    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
    tynicmightyjongyoDrZiplockZonugalwebguy20expendablechrishallett833clipseNaphtaliDisruptedCapitalistNarbusCalicasarukunSkeithSleepsponoFlarnediscriderSorceElvenshaeL Ron HowardIloveslimesCormacBucketmanGnome-InterruptusRaveFishmanMagic PinkThegreatcowJaysonFour
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    The best thing about it was the random leftovers people had put in the public spaces, like farewell stickies for a colleague plonked on the food vans, or a big screen on the football field left from a virtual class graduation yesterday. It was like wandering a post-rapture Earth.

    Brovid Hasselsmofwebguy20godmodeTofystedethGnizmoCarpysarukunElvenshaeL Ron HowardToxBucketmanGnome-InterruptusFishmanMagic PinkJaysonFour
  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    I still can't get over the virtual browser and "working" in this thing

    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
    tynicPolaritiewebguy203clipseNaphtaliMoridin889OrcaTofystedethhonovereJragghenSleepAldoL Ron HowardLabelBucketmanGnome-InterruptusRaveJaysonFour
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    also according to my payslip, my company seems to think that somewhere in the last two weeks they sent me the final chunk of cash to reimburse my relocation expenses. Spoiler: they have not.
    Please don't make me talk to HR about this, I hate chasing up money weirdness.

    bowenchrishallett83BucketmanRave
  • JedocJedoc Once to start a new life and once just to start a fireRegistered User regular
    Re: fuck you pay me

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  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    bowen wrote: »
    I still can't get over the virtual browser and "working" in this thing

    The browser thing was at least kind of cute: "Oh they have virtual computers. What happens if I sit at one? Hey I can virtually use it." (I bet the content is heavily filtered).
    I can't imagine what you would get out of doing your work while this program chugged in the background, simulating your pant-suited virtual representation smirking next to a low-res plastic potplant.

    bowen
  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    my friend secured my office $70 worth of sanitizing wipes a week ago, they still haven't paid me for them

    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    bowen wrote: »
    I still can't get over the virtual browser and "working" in this thing

    The browser thing was at least kind of cute: "Oh they have virtual computers. What happens if I sit at one? Hey I can virtually use it." (I bet the content is heavily filtered).
    I can't imagine what you would get out of doing your work while this program chugged in the background, simulating your pant-suited virtual representation smirking next to a low-res plastic potplant.

    this is physical torture to me right now, is this payback for earlier tynic

    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
    tynicBucketmanJaysonFour
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    bowen wrote: »
    tynic wrote: »
    bowen wrote: »
    I still can't get over the virtual browser and "working" in this thing

    The browser thing was at least kind of cute: "Oh they have virtual computers. What happens if I sit at one? Hey I can virtually use it." (I bet the content is heavily filtered).
    I can't imagine what you would get out of doing your work while this program chugged in the background, simulating your pant-suited virtual representation smirking next to a low-res plastic potplant.

    this is physical torture to me right now, is this payback for earlier tynic

    this is the corporate pointless meeting distilled into its purest, most refined essence. The virtual nature means they can't even offer you lunch.

    bowen3clipseMoridin889OrcaTofystedethsarukunSkeithSleepAldostopgapFlarneElvenshaeL Ron HowardToxIloveslimesjkylefultonLabelBucketmanGnome-InterruptusRaveThegreatcow
  • RadiationRadiation Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    bowen wrote: »
    tynic wrote: »
    bowen wrote: »
    I still can't get over the virtual browser and "working" in this thing

    The browser thing was at least kind of cute: "Oh they have virtual computers. What happens if I sit at one? Hey I can virtually use it." (I bet the content is heavily filtered).
    I can't imagine what you would get out of doing your work while this program chugged in the background, simulating your pant-suited virtual representation smirking next to a low-res plastic potplant.

    this is physical torture to me right now, is this payback for earlier tynic

    this is the corporate pointless meeting distilled into its purest, most refined essence. The virtual nature means they can't even offer you lunch.

    They could. But they won't.
    Not even digitally!

    PSN: jfrofl
    bowenOrca
  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    Can you use the virtual computer to log into another level of virtual meeting software and use the virtual computer in there?

    chrishallett83RadiationbowengodmodeMoridin889OrcaNarbusGnizmosarukunhonovereSleepAldoLaOsProlegomenaElvenshaechromdomL Ron HowardToxIloveslimesBucketmanShortyGnome-InterruptusRaveSporkAndrewJaysonFour
  • OghulkOghulk Negative externality Low-energy fuckwitRegistered User regular
    Found out I can remote desktop-into my work computer. Might be a thing I do since my computer is obviously better than the laptop.

    raoADVy.png
  • webguy20webguy20 I spend too much time on the Internet Registered User regular
    edited May 22
    Oghulk wrote: »
    Found out I can remote desktop-into my work computer. Might be a thing I do since my computer is obviously better than the laptop.

    Thats what I do since a VPN over satellite means our ERP and other systems practically cease to function. Remote desktop on the other hand is completely usable except for a bit of lag.

    If i have to do large scale report management ill generate it on the office system, dump it to my network drive and access it at my local laptop. Im quite pleased.

    webguy20 on
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  • expendableexpendable Silly Goose Registered User regular
    Part time school year/full time summer gig that furloughed me on March 16th: We're making a go of summer, it will be weird. We're sending you an agreement to look over in regards to the changes. Message sent May 11.

    Me: waits patiently.

    PTSY/FTSGTFMOM16th: When's a good time for you to hand over or have all your materials picked up? Message sent today.

    Me: Um, my schedule is rather wonky and I don't usually know where I'm going to be one morning until I'm off the day before. Does this mean I'm officially laid off, because I never got an agreement to look over?

    I'm likely going to forego doing lego summer camp activities with kids this summer regardless. But c'mon, I'm the longest serving non-manager in this region (5 years this year), surely that merits being officially laid off to my face rather than innuendo right?

    Djiem wrote: »
    Lokiamis wrote: »
    So the servers suddenly decide to cramp up during the last six percent.
    Man, the Director will really go out of his way to be a dick to L4D players.
    Steam
  • 3clipse3clipse I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    edited May 22
    tynic I just want you to know that I've had a few (strong) beers and in this state your descriptions of this thing are extremely upsetting to a point where I was just staring at a fixed point on my wall trying to dissociate from my body.

    3clipse on
    bowentynicDisruptedCapitalistNarbusTynnansarukunSkeithSleepsponoElvenshaeL Ron HowardIloveslimesBucketmanJansonRaveFishmanThegreatcowJaysonFour
  • ASimPersonASimPerson Cold... ... and hard.Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    The virtual nature means they can't even offer you lunch.
    This reminds me: over the years I've had a bunch of catered work lunches from Specialty's, which apparently went out of business earlier this week.

    Like, how could I even explain to my past self (who was likely grousing about a free lunch) that someday I would be vaguely nostalgic upon hearing the news that they went under?

    This is obvious, but: 2020 is very weird.

    redoctober2.png
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    Bucketman
  • ASimPersonASimPerson Cold... ... and hard.Registered User regular
    Also I have been working way more during WFH, and it sucks. I was so tired that today I set my alarm for 12:30, hit snooze, and then slept through the subsequent alarms until 2:30.

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  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    3clipse wrote: »
    tynic I just want you to know that I've had a few (strong) beers and in this state your descriptions of this thing are extremely upsetting to a point where I was just staring at a fixed point on my wall trying to dissociate from my body.

    if you're trying to dissociate I believe tynic has a bit of software that can help with that

    tynicSleepElvenshaechromdomBucketmanRave
  • JedocJedoc Once to start a new life and once just to start a fireRegistered User regular
    Man, do you ever just forget that Advil exists? So you spend like seven hours with a nagging headache, and then remember, "Oh, wait, there's a pill that will sort this right out in about ten minutes." And then you take it and it does.

    Thanks, whatever old-timey doctor invented Advil. You were a solid professional.

    GDdCWMm.jpg
    tynicDisruptedCapitalistTynnansarukunSkeithSorceElvenshaechromdomexpendableRoyceSraphimToxani_game_bumThegreatcowJaysonFour
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Can you use the virtual computer to log into another level of virtual meeting software and use the virtual computer in there?

    Sounds like I've got some investigating to do if I ever get dragged into this nightmare again

    JedocSleepLaOsElvenshae
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    3clipse wrote: »
    tynic I just want you to know that I've had a few (strong) beers and in this state your descriptions of this thing are extremely upsetting to a point where I was just staring at a fixed point on my wall trying to dissociate from my body.

    I'm trying to work out which of my new colleagues would be safe to vent about this with, because I thought we were all finding it equally insane and disturbing until my manager started cheerily asking "does anyone want to spend two or three hours here with me next week?"

    That said, apparently if the occupancy rate is sufficiently low you can drive a speedboat around.

    webguy20SleepElvenshaechromdomDrZiplockJaysonFour
  • JedocJedoc Once to start a new life and once just to start a fireRegistered User regular
    Listen, all I'm saying is that Hiro Protagonist didn't become the world's greatest virtual swordsman because he waited for someone else to write the sword fighting module.

    GDdCWMm.jpg
    tynic3clipseMoridin889Commander ZoomSkeithSleepMrMonroeV1mElvenshaeexpendableToxBucketmanRaveShortyFishmanThegreatcowJaysonFour
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    The last couple of pages got me really wanting to make an extra donation to my union.

    hCpR4ri.jpg
    Steam: weavermatic xbox: weavermatico
    chrishallett83Carpywebguy20SleepElvenshaeBucketmanMagic Pink
  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    3clipse wrote: »
    tynic I just want you to know that I've had a few (strong) beers and in this state your descriptions of this thing are extremely upsetting to a point where I was just staring at a fixed point on my wall trying to dissociate from my body.

    I'm trying to work out which of my new colleagues would be safe to vent about this with, because I thought we were all finding it equally insane and disturbing until my manager started cheerily asking "does anyone want to spend two or three hours here with me next week?"

    That said, apparently if the occupancy rate is sufficiently low you can drive a speedboat around.

    why do I keep reading these

    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
    OrcaSleep
  • OrcaOrca Registered User regular
    The future sucks

    Sleep
  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    bowen wrote: »
    tynic wrote: »
    3clipse wrote: »
    tynic I just want you to know that I've had a few (strong) beers and in this state your descriptions of this thing are extremely upsetting to a point where I was just staring at a fixed point on my wall trying to dissociate from my body.

    I'm trying to work out which of my new colleagues would be safe to vent about this with, because I thought we were all finding it equally insane and disturbing until my manager started cheerily asking "does anyone want to spend two or three hours here with me next week?"

    That said, apparently if the occupancy rate is sufficiently low you can drive a speedboat around.

    why do I keep reading these

    now i'm imagining driving a speedboat around a little virtual office and i'm back onboard

    bowenJragghenElvenshae
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    Listen, all I'm saying is that Hiro Protagonist didn't become the world's greatest virtual swordsman because he waited for someone else to write the sword fighting module.

    Welp searching to see if you can add your own plugins now

    chrishallett83schussSkeithJragghenSleepLaOsFlarneElvenshaeL Ron HowardToxBucketmanFishmanJaysonFour
  • TofystedethTofystedeth veni, veneri, vamoosi Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    bowen wrote: »
    I still can't get over the virtual browser and "working" in this thing

    The browser thing was at least kind of cute: "Oh they have virtual computers. What happens if I sit at one? Hey I can virtually use it." (I bet the content is heavily filtered).
    I can't imagine what you would get out of doing your work while this program chugged in the background, simulating your pant-suited virtual representation smirking next to a low-res plastic potplant.

    But can it run Doom?

    steam_sig.png
    chrishallett833clipseZonugaltynicbowenSleepElvenshaeL Ron HowardIloveslimes
  • NarbusNarbus Registered User regular
    Start opening Excel spreadsheets until the entire office implodes.

    SleepdiscriderElvenshaeL Ron HowardToxGnome-Interruptus
  • sarukunsarukun Mr. Bulldopps Get SchwiftyRegistered User regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    This is how they get you, man. Turning workers against each other. Can't we all just take a deep breath, relax, and refocus our rage on the C-suite? Where it belongs?



    Look, Elon Musk is making cities in the middle of the country dance for his amusement so he can decide where to escape from California's onerously reasonable regulations.

    And boy, ain't they a-dancin'.

    "I am Elon Musk, and I'm here to ask you a question: Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow?"

    Man, what the fuck am I gonna do with a bunch of my sweat, that is gross, fuck you Elon Musk, stop trying to give me sweat.

  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    I'm extremely perturbed that there is a giant celebratory oil worker statue, at all, let alone it being rebranded to mark a stupid pothead libertarian industrialist. The first several years of my life, my father worked rigs in north Texas and man, that is no life.

    hCpR4ri.jpg
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  • TurksonTurkson Near the mountains of ColoradoRegistered User regular
    Bucketman wrote: »
    I have finally begun training the person taking my work from me 2.5 days before I am done here.

    Its the guy from the Cyber Security department they hired over me last year. He doesn't understand a lot of the "technical terms" I am tossing out so I'm going over stuff slowly because hes been here over a year and doesn't understand even basic financial terminology because that hasn't been required of him.

    The irony here is physically painful.

    Now seems like the time to purposely train him wrong, as a joke.

    oh h*ck
    SleepMoridin889chrishallett83PinfeldorfGvzbgul3clipseGnizmoSkeithLaOsSorceElvenshaeElarosarukunDarth WaiterMulysaSemproniusL Ron HowardBucketmanJaysonFour
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