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How Do You Connect with Others Online?

Hexmage-PAHexmage-PA Registered User regular
Something I've realized recently is that for all the time I've spent online in my life I've never really formed friendships or been that involved with online communities, even this one. Seeing more and more people use online services to connect during the current pandemic has made me think trying to do the same myself would be beneficial for me, and maybe others as well. It's probably something I should have looked into years ago.

I'm intending for this thread to be a place where people can share both their favorite ways of staying connected online and their favorite online communities. I'm aware of certain options, but I'll admit things like Discord have been a blind spot for me. Honestly I haven't even played many games online for a long time, so I'd appreciate recommendations for ones with a strong social element, too.

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    BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User, Moderator mod
    well, don't laugh, but there's this webcomic forum, see, and

    BahamutZERO.gif
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    Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    Usually the humans put down my summoning circle and I just sort of build up like condensation until I’m there enough to be contacted.

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    DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    If you're looking for a connection with people online, let me tell you about the burgeoning field of teledildonics

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    sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited May 2020
    I'm happy to meet occasionally and hang out, I have done it with people from here a few times, but mostly I just don't feel the need to "connect".

    That said I have used meetup a few times, typically when I move to a new area, for board games or language practice, or what have you.

    I have enough trouble keeping up with friends and family as it is, it feels like a whole pile of responsibilities to add anybody else to it, and I don't even have kids yet.

    I guess the takeaway here is I am a cranky old man who doesn't trust technology.

    sarukun on
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    Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    For real though I once ran a blog which had 8000 followers and about 300 regular messengers/actual fans. I dropped off all social media six or so years ago and this is literally the only place online I talk to people I don’t actually know. I’ve tried reddit but it’s like reading youtube comments without a video. Instagram seems too professional and without a community, and I’ve lost track of what else is out there.

    Since last year I’ve actually reached out to folks on here in PMs to chat, and I reckon I’ve made about seven friends on here. This forum’ll do me.

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    Hexmage-PAHexmage-PA Registered User regular
    Since I didn't really give any examples myself in the OP, I'll say that I have found out about a few online services recently, mostly from seeing other people talking about them online.

    I haven't tried it out myself yet, but Netflix Party seems kind of interesting. If I understand correctly, one person acts as the host and can allow others to join a group where they can all watch something on Netflix at the same time with voice chat enabled.

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    TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    weirdly my most effective method for meeting new people so far was starting a podcast

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    BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User, Moderator mod
    Seriously though all my online connections have originated in one way or another from this forum, I am on a few discord servers and only one of them is directly linked to this place, but I met the people in all of them in 1 or 2 degrees of separation from playing video games with people from here.

    Games with big social elements... I guess MMORPGs currently, I have played a lot of those in the last 5 years, Final Fantasy 14 and World of Warcraft. Team Fortress 2 used to be that kind of social game, but it's lost most of its social element with the death of privately run servers in favor of skill-based matchmaking on official servers because every other FPS had been doing it that way for many years. Rest in peace TF2. Overwatch you can kind of get some of the same thing from, but again, skill-based matchmaking instead of servers leads to low personal connection and hanging out, replaced with a heavy emphasis on playing with random teammates you'll never see again and who hate you. Dota and League of Legends also fall in this category. Basically all matchmade games are only social if you are playing together in a premade team with your friends.

    BahamutZERO.gif
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    BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    well, don't laugh, but there's this webcomic forum, see, and

    Truthfully it ended up this way. Even pre social efforts against the virus I really just ended up talking here
    As I really find facebook boring and gross for different reasons, I forgot my twitter info and they are not helpful helping me remember it
    I don't talk that much in WoW because the topic on hand is usually memes or someone trying to gather more fans {I don't understand this in wow as the people doing it are idiots}
    It's just awkward to talk online yet here I can hop around the forum and talk about interests and other things like it's nothing with others

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    Hexmage-PAHexmage-PA Registered User regular
    edited May 2020
    I’ve tried reddit but it’s like reading youtube comments without a video. Instagram seems too professional and without a community, and I’ve lost track of what else is out there.

    I initially avoided Reddit because from the way I'd seen a few posters talk about it here on Penny Arcade I assumed it was little better than 4chan. Eventually I checked it out anyway and discovered it wasn't really like that, but I'm still used to more traditional forums like this one with a small number of discrete subforums as opposed to Reddit's infinite and often redundant and hard to discover subreddits. I also don't care for the UI of the official app at all, but a friend of mine told me recently there are other Reddit-browsing apps so I might check them out.

    Currently Discord occupies a similar brain space in my mind. I'm just not certain how you're even supposed to find out about individual Discord servers or even tell which ones are worthwhile.
    Since last year I’ve actually reached out to folks on here in PMs to chat, and I reckon I’ve made about seven friends on here. This forum’ll do me.

    I've been posting here for a long time, but for some reason I almost never sent PMs. I'm not why that is, but I guess I should try doing it more.

    Hexmage-PA on
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    rhylithrhylith Death Rabbits HoustonRegistered User regular
    edited May 2020
    I’ve met like 50 of the folks from here at PAX and they all rule.

    This is the only place I actually interact with people online. The big social media sites are too overwhelming.

    rhylith on
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    JuggernutJuggernut Registered User regular
    I don't connect online so much as I foist my distilled personality on the poor, unwilling bastards that can do nothing to stop me.

    My sight is largely based on movement though so if you just stand still and ignore me long enough I'll eventually meander away.

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    Goose!Goose! That's me, honey Show me the way home, honeyRegistered User regular
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    If you're looking for a connection with people online, let me tell you about the burgeoning field of teledildonics

    This has "I'm not just the President, I'm also a client" energy

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    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    I mostly just cyber with strangers on a WoW role play server in the Gnomeregan tram tunnels.

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
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    XehalusXehalus Registered User regular
    dating apps

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    PeasPeas Registered User regular
    I really like the concept of having friends if anything but I hate people politics
    I find it hard to be in a community with games since I don't really like to commit to a single thing long term especially if I have to grind or have a certain skill level to keep up

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    Hexmage-PAHexmage-PA Registered User regular
    So as I mentioned earlier I don't really know anything about Discord or how it works. Are there any particularly notable ones, or is it just a vast sea of infinite servers?

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    BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited May 2020
    vast sea of infinite servers

    if you wanted to, say, set up a discord for your D&D game, you would just make a new server for it and send invite links to your players

    BahamutZERO on
    BahamutZERO.gif
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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    You can join us on the SE server!!

    https://discord.gg/YY57sC

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    PerrsunPerrsun Registered User regular
    There’s this thing, called Secret Satans.

    You are assigned a target. You stalk them like prey. You watch their every move. You seek their presence from the shadows. You determine their wants, desires, fears, hopes, dreams... their entire way of thinking. You contemplate them. You make them your entire world.

    And then, when they least expect it, through the power of gifts...

    You cut
    Them
    Down

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    DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited May 2020
    Goose! wrote: »
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    If you're looking for a connection with people online, let me tell you about the burgeoning field of teledildonics

    This has "I'm not just the President, I'm also a client" energy

    We don't just promise you'll come away satisfied, we promise you'll come anywhere you have access to a broadband internet connection and a computing device with at least one USB connection port*
    *Micro-USB adapter available.

    DarkPrimus on
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    Hexmage-PAHexmage-PA Registered User regular
    Do we have a place to share things like Switch Friend Codes on these forums?

    Mine's SW-5717-2398-8488.

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    BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User, Moderator mod
    usually people share friend codes to play specific games together so it happens in like the smash bros. thread

    BahamutZERO.gif
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    JavenJaven Registered User regular
    I used to on here, back in the day, but not so much anymore

    im tryin though

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    furlionfurlion Riskbreaker Lea MondeRegistered User regular
    Some form of MMO is pretty much your best bet for online friendship I think. You can form real friendships over long periods of time, because they constantly give you new content to play. And it usually takes months or even years to get through all that content. It does mean you actually want to play the game that long though, which may not be your bag. I made several friends that way, although I have lost touch since. I assume you are talking about just keeping it online, and not meat space. Otherwise there are various apps and websites for that, probably not recommended at the time though.

    For this forum in particular there are a ton of ways to connect. There are PbP games being played in The various forums, tabletop roleplaying like d&d played through video chat or text chat, phalla games, movie watching nights, and just plain ole posting in threads you are passionate about. I personally don't post that much, but I don't feel too ignored when I do. The only real barrier to posting here is the fact that a lot of threads have regular posters, so while you may not get outright ignored you may be largely overlooked until you establish a presence for yourself.

    sig.gif Gamertag: KL Retribution
    PSN:Furlion
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    Kristmas KthulhuKristmas Kthulhu Currently Kultist Kthulhu Registered User regular
    I love the people in this forum, but generally feel like I have little to contribute (mostly the depression talking, but still).

    There was a Netflix Party thread here at the beginning of the social distancing, which died without anything ever coming of it. I'd love to try it with folks here.

    Discord can simply be text chat or voice chat, and I assume rule 34 applies to what sorts of servers you can find with regards to your interests. I'd imagine it's one of the best ways to interact with the community of something you're a fan of, potentially even the content creators of the community.

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    CelloCello Registered User regular
    I love the people in this forum, but generally feel like I have little to contribute (mostly the depression talking, but still).

    There was a Netflix Party thread here at the beginning of the social distancing, which died without anything ever coming of it. I'd love to try it with folks here.

    Discord can simply be text chat or voice chat, and I assume rule 34 applies to what sorts of servers you can find with regards to your interests. I'd imagine it's one of the best ways to interact with the community of something you're a fan of, potentially even the content creators of the community.

    You apparently can at least contribute a hell of a lot at karaoke, which I can vouch for after South

    Also I really mostly just use the forums, Facebook and Instagram as they're all a little more contained and you can recognize forumers and build relationships

    Even ignoring the general shittiness on Twitter and Reddit, the format itself doesn't do much for building personal relationships when there's just unending content and names you'll only recognize based on shitposting styles

    Steam
    3DS Friend Code: 0216-0898-6512
    Switch Friend Code: SW-7437-1538-7786
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    ElaroElaro Apologetic Registered User regular
    I play(ed) TF2 with @UEAKCrash every friday! That was fun! Connected with Crash, @turtleant, @Flippy_D , and a host of other cool PA folks that way!

    We need another game like that! One with private servers! And alltalk! And preferably Warhammer 40K flavoured! But with map editing! And custom skins! Yaaay kustomizations!

    Children's rights are human rights.
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    BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User, Moderator mod
    the decline of the private server FPS is a damn shame

    BahamutZERO.gif
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    Virgil_Leads_YouVirgil_Leads_You Proud Father House GardenerRegistered User regular
    Playing a lot of boardgames online on yucata and boardgame arena, tabletopia to a smaller extent. Chatting over discord

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    UrielUriel Registered User regular
    I'm trying to figure out how to play infinity in tabletop simulator

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    GvzbgulGvzbgul Registered User regular
    Discord (movie night streaming, chatting, streaming jackbox). VR (VR chat mostly but lots of VR games give you the same kind of social space, you can "hug" people!). Minecraft (shared creative space).

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    Duke 2.0Duke 2.0 Time Trash Cat Registered User regular
    Met one of my first group of friends on the forums for Dwarf Fortress in my early teens. Cracking jokes and shooting the shit the best we could as early aughts teens. We just sorta hit it off perfectly, hitting close interests and creating our own shared language with eachother. Moved from forum messages to playing games together on Steam to moving onto a Discord server we have been hanging out in for a few years now.

    Joined this forum primarily for the Minecraft server/homestuck thread, but those attempts at relationships never worked out. Biggest success would be the TF2 server. A shared experience on a schedule with little commitment on my part. The whole thing isn't ruined if I cannot make it one week. Not taking up another persons place if I do show up. Lots of shared activities end up with small cliques of consistent friends since who would open up more committed activities with strangers. With the current economic situation of not having my usual tourism job for the rest of the year spending money on shared media and experiences isn't going to happen.

    It's tricky. Best to have some talent or area of expertise others take an interest in that can kick off a group activity. Otherwise as a boring individual like myself it'll be much harder/

    VRXwDW7.png
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    DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    the forums. I lurked here for years before I started posting, because SE++ used to be mean and scary

    I've been getting more into messenger lately

    and if I'm playing a multiplayer game, I'll try and make friends with someone because that always gets you a guild or discord you can talk to, haha

    sometimes I post very bad memes on an... eclectic variety of facebook communities.

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    Kristmas KthulhuKristmas Kthulhu Currently Kultist Kthulhu Registered User regular
    Aw, thanks so much, Cello! I hadn't thought about that in a little while and it definitely brought a smile to my face. If online karaoke nights were a thing, I'd be there in a heartbeat!

    I mentioned this in the PC Games thread, but I'd love to have people to play Sea of Thieves with. I've got it installed thanks to Xbox Game Pass and completed the tutorial, but don't have a crew and so haven't done anything more with it. I know Dee Kae was in the same situation as I am, and he was interested in maybe getting some folks here together for it. If anyone here has it and wants to join us, we can try and schedule something this weekend!

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    JavenJaven Registered User regular
    Online karaoke sounds like a really fun and charming thing that I would personally never do

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    Kristmas KthulhuKristmas Kthulhu Currently Kultist Kthulhu Registered User regular
    Twitch Sings has asynchronous karaoke, but their library is kind of lackluster. And it's just not the same without a big group of friends to sing along with and be silly.

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    SolarSolar Registered User regular
    Personally I think that it really does depend on the kind of person you are and the kind of people you meet online. Like with offline friendships, you find a person and you hit it off.

    There are people I've met online I've become extremely close with but there's probably very few people on the forum that I'd now consider myself to be friends with, tbh

    Which is strange, actually, because a few years ago there was a few. People change, of course.

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    UrielUriel Registered User regular
    Solar wrote: »
    Personally I think that it really does depend on the kind of person you are and the kind of people you meet online. Like with offline friendships, you find a person and you hit it off.

    There are people I've met online I've become extremely close with but there's probably very few people on the forum that I'd now consider myself to be friends with, tbh

    Which is strange, actually, because a few years ago there was a few. People change, of course.
    Do you want to play infinity on Tabletop simulator???

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    SolarSolar Registered User regular
    Hahaha a lot of people have asked me that! I'll be honest... I hate tabletop simulator. I don't get much out of it at all. And that's true of most gaming tbh, tabletop in real life? Nothing matches that, not video games, not discord, play by post, nothing.

    But maybe I'll give it a go some day...

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