You won a trip in a time machine

Platy

You're not allowed to mess with the timeline too much or else Jean-Claude Van Damme is going to arrest you

So no harming people, stealing things or introducing technologies which would alter the course of history - you'll also be given an extensive health check

You can visit as a tourist or even stay if you'd like!

Sorry, you can't visit the dinosaurs because the further back your trip, the unsafer it becomes and we wouldn't your quantum information to get scrambled

Which era or places would you like to visit

ChicoBlue

The Ancient World (Greece, Rome, Han-Dynasty China, Buddhist India)

I wanna wander around pre-Nika Riot Constantinople and see all the stuff that Constantine stole from everywhere else to put in his city to make it seem more impressive.

bowen

Do I get a universal translator and some built in air filter in my nose so I don't have to smell raw sewage rocking out in the cities or no?

Lost Salient

And also I mean great that I get a health check but do I have some sort of

Invisible bubble that's going to keep me from getting typhus/dysentery/cholera

Because fundamentally as someone with a degree in history that I no longer use at all, the biggest issue with going back in time is that it's fuckin shitty and stinky and YOU'RE DEFINITELY GOING TO GET SMALLPOX

Brainleech

ChicoBlue wrote: »

I wanna wander around pre-Nika Riot Constantinople and see all the stuff that Constantine stole from everywhere else to put in his city to make it seem more impressive.

10 years after the Nika riots was the Plague of Justinian so after it was over he forced moved people into the city and countryside to repop it

ChicoBlue

The Ancient World (Greece, Rome, Han-Dynasty China, Buddhist India)

edit: my hilarious joke was preempted! I'd go back in time and unpreempt it!!

Oh, please.

Some sort of plague?

In Constantinople?

In the time of Justinian?

Platy

You'll also get medical care after you're back! Of course you'll get vaccinated against smallpox or other diseases

If you decide to make it a one way trip, you'll have to argue with Jean-Claude Van Damme over how much medicine you can take with you

bowen

Lost Salient wrote: »

And also I mean great that I get a health check but do I have some sort of

Invisible bubble that's going to keep me from getting typhus/dysentery/cholera

Because fundamentally as someone with a degree in history that I no longer use at all, the biggest issue with going back in time is that it's fuckin shitty and stinky and YOU'RE DEFINITELY GOING TO GET SMALLPOX

Get updated on your vaccinations, even the older ones they don't do in the first world.

Also bring a buttload of antibiotics because there's a good chance you're gonna run into some sort of plague, if not the plague.

Magic Pink

Other (please name)

i would do something bad to a very particular person i don't care if i get arrested

Platy

You're going to have to learn the language, much like a modern tourist in a foreign country

Luckily historical linguistics has taken massive strides since the invention of time travel

Raijin Quickfoot

You would die if you went to the past. Your body is not built to deal with the shit they were going through.

That being said, I’d totally go back to the time of STAR WARS

Magic Pink

Other (please name)

Raijin Quickfoot wrote: »

You would die if you went to the past. Your body is not built to deal with the shit they were going through.

That being said, I’d totally go back to the time of STAR WARS

but that was far far away

Hobnail

Other (please name)

I'd like to time travel back to the center of what will become the Chicxulub crater fifteen seconds before the Chicxulub impactor turns it into that and look up and open my mouth

Brainleech

I would go back to the 90's but I would need to bring about 100 in 90's era cash to get 5 items
I am still upset I had a choice to get either the barbarian or elf packs for hero quest {at the time they were 14.95} I passed because I only had $12 So I would get both of them and another few items from another city

Polaritie

Can I just go back in time to give myself advice?

TheStig

Can I go back in time and punch my younger self in the face?

Platy

Polaritie wrote: »

Can I just go back in time to give myself advice?

If you have no descendants whose existence would be threatened by the nature of that advice, Van Damme is going to make an exception

crwth

i’d like to travel to when the time machine was invented and jot down how to make it, then return to my own time and make my own and time travel on my own terms!

Lars

Magic Pink wrote: »

i would do something bad to a very particular person i don't care if i get arrested

This was my first thought.

If Jean Claude Van Damme is pre-emptive about stopping me though, then I'll just take a camera and go back and solve a bunch of unsolved mysteries. And maybe document some crimes of a very particular person to present as evidence when I return to the present. Also maybe take a photo of that Jesus fellow just to see people's reactions.

SimBen

Other (please name)

I'd just go to immediately after Covid is done tbh

Peas

Can I go forward in time because the past is kinda crappy to be honest

Kevin Crist

Fuck the police, christopher columbus is going Down pre-launch.

Hobnail

Other (please name)

SimBen wrote: »

I'd just go to immediately after Covid is done tbh

Nice job dumb dumb now you're hip deep in what ended Covid, bloodeating nanoworms

a5ehren

Precolonial America (visit the great empires of Mesoamerica and the Andes or travel up the Mississippi and Ohio rivers)

I’d say pre-colonial America, then come back and write an expensive history book about what I saw.

Either that or peak Roman Empire. Maybe peak Persia.

Captain Inertia

Other (please name)

Hobnail wrote: »

I'd like to time travel back to the center of what will become the Chicxulub crater fifteen seconds before the Chicxulub impactor turns it into that and look up and open my mouth

Would you even see anything or be incinerated by the heat/shockwave of it tearing through the atmosphere before you even knew what was happening

I mean

You would know what was imminent but I just wonder if you’d be able to see it

Is there a time loop mechanism to reset if you like blink at the wrong moment?

Mayabird

The Stone Age (visit Lucy the Australopithecine or your Neanderthal ancestors)

So we can't change the past, but can we bring stuff back from the past? Say, lost works (plays and books by the ancient Greeks that we know existed but don't any longer, or even more so the literature and scholarship of ancient Carthage that Rome obliterated) or lost treasures (any number of things that burned in fires) or even lost species (like silphium or Carolina parakeets or wooly mammoths)?

Hobnail

Other (please name)

I assume the Chicxulub impactor would look like that meteor that blew up over Russia back in 2014 except like bigger

spono

Other (please name)

I'd go to the future, duh

The past is old news

Platy

Mayabird wrote: »

So we can't change the past, but can we bring stuff back from the past? Say, lost works (plays and books by the ancient Greeks that we know existed but don't any longer, or even more so the literature and scholarship of ancient Carthage that Rome obliterated) or lost treasures (any number of things that burned in fires) or even lost species (like silphium or Carolina parakeets or wooly mammoths)?

Kirk and Spock and Scotty did it so I would say it's okay

There's probably a council set up to re-introduce extinct species

Captain Inertia

Other (please name)

I’m going back

To the future

Ubik

Other (please name)

time is a squared circle so if i go back far enough i'll come out in the future

Snicketysnick

The Ancient World (Greece, Rome, Han-Dynasty China, Buddhist India)

I want to go to the Library of Alexandria

iguanacus

You said you can't harm somebody, but what about helping somebody? I've always said if I could go back in time I'd want to explain to Freddy Mercury what HIV and AIDS are and tell him to wrap that shit up.

Uriel

The Ancient World (Greece, Rome, Han-Dynasty China, Buddhist India)

I would kill Hitler

Jcvd can take me to time jail I don't care.

Xaquin

I'll invent transparent aluminum if I want, you can't stop me!

besides, how do we know that guy didn't invent it in the first place?

Desert Leviathan

The Ancient World (Greece, Rome, Han-Dynasty China, Buddhist India)

The honest answer is that I'd go to Jerusalem 2K years or so ago, but I'd leave Jesus and crew alone and spend all my time stalking Paul of Tarsus to investigate my personal theory that he was just a career grifter who saw which way the wind was blowing.

IronKnuckle's Ghost

Early farming communities, the river valley civilizations of Mesopotamia, India and China

Wanna hang out in ancient Egypt. Maybe see what Ramses II is getting up to.

Uriel

The Ancient World (Greece, Rome, Han-Dynasty China, Buddhist India)

Oh

I could go back in time and chill in Gaul before Ceaser and the 13th legion comes and fucks it all up. Try to bring back a little more from their side of the story than just what Ceaser wrote.

Chall

Other (please name)

The trick is, you go back to the ancient savannahs and you kill the ape that tries to walk upright. That'll save the whole universe a lot of future trouble and JCVD can't throw me in time jail cause we'll all be erased.

Gustav

I want to live amongst the cockroach people and try their fine nectars in the craters of the old world

Uriel

The Ancient World (Greece, Rome, Han-Dynasty China, Buddhist India)

Gustav wrote: »

I want to live amongst the cockroach people and try their fine nectars in the craters of the old world

You hardly need a time machine for this

Just wait another couple years