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  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    Uriel wrote: »
    Stop everthing

    Stop the music

    I just went on a nostalgia deep dive for a minute

    Any of you all remember a little game called Mirage online???

    This is important.

    I need to know in not hallucinating this!

    It was like top down with ripped Final Fantasy sprites and little maps built with tiles and and and...

  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited June 30
    Brolo wrote: »
    although if we're on the subject of "90s fantasy novels that say more about the author's personal tastes than intended"

    I would be fucking remiss if I did not mention

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    holy shit this series reveals so much about terry goodkind

    to the point where, if it wasn't so absolutely vile, I would actually be very interested in seeing what some late high school / college age students would think if they were assigned

    "after reading this series, what cultural, moral and political (...and sexual...) views do you think the author idealizes or demonizes? how does he represent them in the text?"

    as an essay topic

    I don't know that author specifically but I remember a looot of fantasy and scifi novels I read having big helpings of authorial sexual wish fulfillment in them


    the one that really stood out was this one:
    They raced out from the long shadows of the buildings and poured around the corner. The people off at the end of the street all turned when they spotted Richard's force coming. More people--men and women from the city--surged into the street in front of the compound of buildings the soldiers had taken oup as barracks and a command post. The people looked like a scraggly lot.

    "No war! No war! No war!" the people shouted as Richard led the men up the street at a dead run.
    "Out of the way!" Richard yelled as he closed the distance. This was no time for subtlety or discussions: the success of their attack depended in large part on speed. "Get out of the way! This is your only warning! Get out of the way or die!"
    "Stop the hate! Stop the hate!" the people chanted as they locked arms.
    They had no idea how much hate was raging through Richard. He drew the Sword of Truth. The wrath of its magic didn't come out with it, but he had enough of his own. He slowed to a trot.
    "Move!" Richard called as he bore down on the people.
    A plump, curly-haired woman took a step out from the others. Her round face was red with anger as she screamed. "Stop the hate! No war! Stop the hate! No war!"
    "Move or die!" Richard yelled as he picked up speed.
    The red-faced woman shook her fleshy fist at Richard and his men, leading an angry chant. "Murderers! Murderers! Murderers!"
    On his way past her, gritting his teeth as he screamed with the fury of the attack begun, Richard took a powerful swing, lopping off the woman's head and upraised arm. Strings of blood and gore splashed across the faces behind her even as some still chanted their empty words. The head and loose arm tumbled through the crowd. A man mad the mistake of reaching for Richard's weapon, and took the full weight of a charging thrust.
    Men behind Richard hit the line of evil's guardians with unrestrained violence. People armed only with their hatred for moral clarity fell bloodied, terribly injured, and dead. The line of people collapsed before the merciless charge. Some of the people, screaming their contempt, used their fists to attack Richard's men. They were met with swift and deadly steel.
    At the realization that their defense of the Imperial Order's brutality would actually result in consequences to themselves, the crowd began scattering in fright, screaming curses back at Richard and his men.

    this was written around the time of the 2003 Iraq War

    Brolo on
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    That's truly heinous!

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  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Did I just read an author insert killing some put upon war protester

    What the fuck Rolo

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  • KetBraKetBra Dressed Ridiculously Registered User regular
    man, early 2000's America truly was a weird fuckin place

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  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    "People armed only with their hatred for moral clarity fell bloodied, terribly injured, and dead."

    This line is basically THE arrow in my quiver whenever I bring up Sword of Truth as an example of a terrible book series.

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  • ShortyShorty JUDGE BROSEF Registered User regular
    I read an anne mccafferey book when I was about twelve and let me tell you I was not prepared for the gay sex

  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    Madican wrote: »
    "People armed only with their hatred for moral clarity fell bloodied, terribly injured, and dead."

    This line is basically THE arrow in my quiver whenever I bring up Sword of Truth as an example of a terrible book series.

    It really does sum up the series rather neatly. I suppose you would have to throw in some mention of the incredibly frequent rapey bits to get the full picture.

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  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    Shorty wrote: »
    I read an anne mccafferey book when I was about twelve and let me tell you I was not prepared for the gay sex

    I didn't really care about the sexual bits as a kid but I remember reading Pegasus in Flight and being very unnerved by the foot torture scene towards the end.

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  • GR_ZombieGR_Zombie Krillin It Registered User regular
    Is Sword of Truth the one with a chicken that is the essence of all evil?

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  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    I've mentioned it before and will surely mention it again, but the naked lady-warrior spanking tents in Wheel of Time were the EXACT moment that 7th-grade me realized authors sometimes Reveal Their Interests in their works

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  • ShortyShorty JUDGE BROSEF Registered User regular
    Madican wrote: »
    "People armed only with their hatred for moral clarity fell bloodied, terribly injured, and dead."

    This line is basically THE arrow in my quiver whenever I bring up Sword of Truth as an example of a terrible book series.

    that guy is a clown

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  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited June 30
    GR_Zombie wrote: »
    Is Sword of Truth the one with a chicken that is the essence of all evil?

    The bird let out a slow chicken cackle. It sounded like a chicken, but in her heart she knew it wasn't. In that instant, she completely understood the concept of a chicken that was not a chicken. This looked like a chicken, like most of the Mud People's chickens. But this was no chicken. This was evil manifest. She could feel it with visceral certitude. This was something as obscene as death's own grin. With one hand, Kahlan wrung her shirt closed at her throat. She was jammed so hard back against the platform with the baby's body she wondered if she might topple the solid mortared mass. Her instinct was to lash out and touch the vile thing with her Confessor's power. Her magic destroyed forever the essence of a person, creating in the void a total and unqualified devotion to the Confessor. In that way, those condemned to death truthfully confessed their heinous crimes-or their innocence. It was an ultimate means of witnessing the veracity of justice. There was no immunity to the touch of a Confessor. It was as absolute as it was final. Even the most, maniacal murderer had a soul and so was vulnerable. Her power, her magic, was also a weapon of defense. But it would only work on people. It would not work on a chicken. And it would not work on wickedness incarnate. Her gaze flicked toward the door, checking the distance. The chicken took a single hop toward her. Claws gripping Juni's upper arm, it leaned her way. Her leg muscles tightened till they trembled. The chicken backed a step, tensed, and spurted feces onto Juni's face. It let out the cackle that sounded like a laugh. She dearly wished she could tell herself she was being silly. Imagining things. But she knew better. Much as her power would not work to destroy this thing, she sensed, too, that her ostensible size and strength were meaningless against it. Far better, she thought, just to get out. More than anything, that was what she wanted: out. A fat brown bug scurried up her arm. She let out a clipped cry as she smacked it off. She shuffled a step toward the door. The chicken leaped off Juni, landing before the door.

    Kahlan frantically tried to think as the chicken bawk-bawk-bawked. It pecked up the bug she had flicked off her arm. After downing the bug, it turned to look up at her, its head cocking this way, then that, its wattles swinging. Kahlan eyed the door. She tried to reason how best to get out. Kick the chicken out of the way? Try to frighten it away from the door? Ignore it and try to walk past it? She remembered what Richard said. "Juni spat at the honor of whatever killed that chicken. Not long after, Juni died. I threw a stick at the chicken in the window, and not long after, it attacked that little boy. It was my fault Ungi got clawed. I don't want to make the same mistake again." She didn't want to make that mistake. This thing could fly at her face. Scratch her eyes out. Use its spur to tear open the carotid artery at the side of her neck. Bleed her to death. Who knew how strong it really was, what it .might be able to do. Richard had been adamant about everyone being courteous to the chickens. Suddenly Kahlan's life or death hung on Richard's words. Only a short time before she had thought them foolish. Now, she was weighing her chances, marking her choices, by what Richard had said. "Oh, Richard," she implored in a whisper, "forgive me."

    yes

    Brolo on
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  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    c'est magnifique

    SageinaRage
  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    I've mentioned it before and will surely mention it again, but the naked lady-warrior spanking tents in Wheel of Time were the EXACT moment that 7th-grade me realized authors sometimes Reveal Their Interests in their works

    Well maybe I will read Wheel Of Time now

  • ph blakeph blake Registered User regular
    Fucking Terry Goodkind can be read both as an expletive, because he's a shit writer, and also as an apt description of his work's themes.

  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    I mean, that's just a bog standard chicken.

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  • XehalusXehalus lofi Registered User regular
    they're the deathdead

    defeated by the lightholy

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  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    What I find more concerning is how she apparently has the power to destroy a human soul and she uses it to determine if a person is guilty or innocent, but can't take it back if they are innocent so they get oblivion just the same. And she sees this as a good thing.

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  • I needed a gnome to post.I needed a gnome to post. Registered User regular
    Moriveth wrote: »
    I've mentioned it before and will surely mention it again, but the naked lady-warrior spanking tents in Wheel of Time were the EXACT moment that 7th-grade me realized authors sometimes Reveal Their Interests in their works

    Well maybe I will read Wheel Of Time now

    i can promise you that no matter how low you may think of your own writing, and how incapable you are of arousing yourself to it, you will have a more fulfilling experience by just writing what you imagine it to be

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  • BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User regular
    Moriveth wrote: »
    I've mentioned it before and will surely mention it again, but the naked lady-warrior spanking tents in Wheel of Time were the EXACT moment that 7th-grade me realized authors sometimes Reveal Their Interests in their works

    Well maybe I will read Wheel Of Time now

    i can promise you that no matter how low you may think of your own writing, and how incapable you are of arousing yourself to it, you will have a more fulfilling experience by just writing what you imagine it to be

    to reiterate, IT IS NOT WORTH IT, do not be fooled by mentions of kinky shit, those are just some of the few memorable Things That Happen In These Books in an interminable slog of awful bloated prose

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  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular


    the wheel of time game was supposed to be... alright?

    i have no idea how faithful it is to the source material

  • ph blakeph blake Registered User regular
    I have a soft spot for Wheel of Time, but that's mostly cause I first started reading it in middle school or whatever, plus I really dug the past lives nonsense, insane worldbuilding, and convoluted side-plots that went seemingly nowhere. Jordan was a big fan of "fuck it, just add more plot" school of writing and I absolutely ate that shit up at the time.

    Also it's kinky sex stuff was a bit more understated than most of the other fantasy series I tried, plus it didn't have as much overt psycho libertarian propaganda.

  • PaperLuigi44PaperLuigi44 My amazement is at maximum capacity. Registered User regular
    edited June 30
    Speaking of Animorphs, am I correct that K.A./Katherine Applegate turned out alright?

    PaperLuigi44 on
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  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    edited June 30
    I hope so!

    the latter Animorphs books gave me a perspective on morality and war and warality, that's for certain.

    Edit: Did any of you read the other series they wrote? Otherworld or something? like, whenever these kids sleep they wake up in some crazy magic reality that has all the Gods and mythology shit. They moved there after humans stopped caring about them.

    but then some alien bugs and their God, which eats other Gods, showed up. Also a white supremacist, summoned by an evil witch, leads an evil army with Real World guns against Zeus and shit.

    Depressperado on
  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited June 30
    Speaking of Animorphs, am I correct that K.A./Katherine Applegate turned out alright?

    i never read the animorphs books but I have heard nothing but good things about KA Applegate

    Brolo on
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  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Speaking of Animorphs, am I correct that K.A./Katherine Applegate turned out alright?

    Something I recall is that someone was upset with her that the children ended the book series varying levels of broken and hurt from their experiences and her response was “yeah, that happens in wars, you should be more concerned about what’s happening to people actually fighting in some now” and I was all dang KA you a cool lady

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  • ph blakeph blake Registered User regular
    edited June 30
    By all accounts KA applegate is cool as shit.

    Mostly professional social media presence and just tweets about books/interacts with fans, also has a trans daughter that she's openly supportive of

    ph blake on
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  • PhillisherePhillishere Registered User regular
    ph blake wrote: »
    By all accounts KA applegate is cool as shit.

    Mostly professional social media presence and just tweets about books/interacts with fans, also has a trans daughter that she's openly supportive of

    Hasn’t she also been vocally supportive of Black Lives Matters lately?

  • PeewiPeewi Registered User regular
    I know I read some Dragonlance books, but I have no memory of which ones or what happened in them.

    Switch: SW-6132-4331-5349 || Steam
  • FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    edited June 30
    Oh good gods, what is going on in here?

    Also, I am remembering all of the terrible fantasy I ever read, and getting confused by the good series I read.

    I remember one with a standard fantasy war, one of the protagonists being a former enemy general, the mage being a school prodigy, but not actually good in the field (possibly fat?), etc. Elves being much more feral wood elfy, etc.

    Fencingsax on
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  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    Uriel wrote: »
    Uriel wrote: »
    Stop everthing

    Stop the music

    I just went on a nostalgia deep dive for a minute

    Any of you all remember a little game called Mirage online???

    This is important.

    I need to know in not hallucinating this!

    It was like top down with ripped Final Fantasy sprites and little maps built with tiles and and and...

    google tells me this is a game that existed, but I have never ever heard of it

    I bet you mocked up all those screenshots yourself and manipulated google's SEO to get them to all show up in their search, you sicko

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  • MaddocMaddoc I'm Bobbin Threadbare, are you my mother? Registered User regular
    Speaking of MMOs that never existed, I was thinking about the Stargate MMO the other day.

    There's nothing really more to it than that, just got to remembering that was going to be a thing, I was actually looking forward to it even.

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  • ZonugalZonugal The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    Maddoc wrote: »
    Speaking of MMOs that never existed, I was thinking about the Stargate MMO the other day.

    There's nothing really more to it than that, just got to remembering that was going to be a thing, I was actually looking forward to it even.

    If it had existed you could have solved a math problem in order to advance to the game's next level. But unbeknownst to you, the problem solved is actually an Ancient mathematical proof that was procured from the Ancient Database.

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  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    edited June 30
    Petesalzl wrote: »
    The first thing I ever saw Sean Bean in was the Sharpe series so my mind was always skewed since he survives that.

    Also Ronin he doesn’t die.

    in ronin his career as a merc dies, along with is pride

    He dies inside.

    TheStig on
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  • ShortyShorty JUDGE BROSEF Registered User regular
    Moriveth wrote: »
    I've mentioned it before and will surely mention it again, but the naked lady-warrior spanking tents in Wheel of Time were the EXACT moment that 7th-grade me realized authors sometimes Reveal Their Interests in their works

    Well maybe I will read Wheel Of Time now

    i can promise you that no matter how low you may think of your own writing, and how incapable you are of arousing yourself to it, you will have a more fulfilling experience by just writing what you imagine it to be

    to reiterate, IT IS NOT WORTH IT, do not be fooled by mentions of kinky shit, those are just some of the few memorable Things That Happen In These Books in an interminable slog of awful bloated prose

    the thing is that as someone who read most of the series at least twice, I can't really disagree with this

    it absolutely is a tremendous slog starting around book six or thereabouts

  • BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User regular
    edited June 30
    my eyes were glazing over and I couldn't keep track of the plot at all by the second book, personally
    I apologize for shitting on 5 books you did like though

    BahamutZERO on
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  • ShortyShorty JUDGE BROSEF Registered User regular
    the first five are very good, as are the last three

    everything else is not

    it's really hard to recommend as a whole

  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    Shorty wrote: »
    the first five are very good, as are the last three

    everything else is not

    it's really hard to recommend as a whole

    Unless you fuckin' LOVE fields of wheat

    If you can't get enough of wheat fields, boy, do I have the book series for YOU

  • Crimson KingCrimson King Registered User regular
    robert jordan also wrote some conan the barbarian books, which i had when i was a teen, and which i can confirm also contained a certain amount of The English Vice

    we should bring it back honestly. i can't remember the last time i read a book where the author had just flagrantly shovelled their fetishes into it. everyone's too embarrassed to do it now

    Fencingsax
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