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Which of these is the worst way to go out

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    UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited July 2020
    weasels
    Whippy wrote: »
    Now, hold on. That second one specifically says vampires, not a single mention of bats. My friend I think you’ve got yourself some shapeshifted draculas

    I volunteer to test this Dracula hypothesis.

    Uriel on
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    PeasPeas Registered User regular
    Calica wrote: »
    Bullshit. Clearly those turtles are rescuing that poor woman.
    ehvuscwli46e.jpg

    You know, it actually looks like it the more I look at the illustration

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    MayabirdMayabird Pecking at the keyboardRegistered User regular
    Pangolins are so shy and gentle. You can just pick them off the ground and hold them and all they'll do is curl up in a ball like they're nervous about being on camera.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zJyPFvuNBI

    So I've come to the conclusion that cover guy is just an asshole who provoked all those attacks. Those bats are probably fleeing for their lives because the guy walked into a cave shooting wildly just to kill 'em. Weasels were, I dunno, having a swimming contest when he waded in and started grabbing and slinging 'em around. Snapping turtles don't go on the hunt; they're just hanging out in the water waiting for a fish to happen by and then Asshole Man decides that kidnapping a busty woman isn't enough and he's gonna attack all the turtles too while he's at it. Then finishes it up by shooting a dang pangolin. If those pangolins are attacking him, it's only because he's got such a rep that he has it coming to him.

    I hope the killer pigs ate him in the end.

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    Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    pangolins
    Mayabird wrote: »
    Pangolins are so shy and gentle. You can just pick them off the ground and hold them and all they'll do is curl up in a ball like they're nervous about being on camera.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zJyPFvuNBI

    So I've come to the conclusion that cover guy is just an asshole who provoked all those attacks. Those bats are probably fleeing for their lives because the guy walked into a cave shooting wildly just to kill 'em. Weasels were, I dunno, having a swimming contest when he waded in and started grabbing and slinging 'em around. Snapping turtles don't go on the hunt; they're just hanging out in the water waiting for a fish to happen by and then Asshole Man decides that kidnapping a busty woman isn't enough and he's gonna attack all the turtles too while he's at it. Then finishes it up by shooting a dang pangolin. If those pangolins are attacking him, it's only because he's got such a rep that he has it coming to him.

    I hope the killer pigs ate him in the end.

    White man is always the villain 🦹‍♂️

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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    giant turtles
    Obviously I want vampires to rip my flesh, so that's right out

    Watching that pangolin take down concrete makes me think that it would be a pretty efficient murder machine, and honestly I would like a slideshow explaining what a pangolin is at my funeral

    So I'm torn between weasels and turtles

    And quite frankly, while I believe in the ability of snapping turtles to quickly ruin my entire shit, the turtles in question do not look like any snappers I've known

    Which means we're talking regular turtles versus weasels, and regular turtles seem like they would painstakingly slow about murdering me

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    Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    bats
    bats would take for god dang ever, it would be the worst easily.

    also who the heck is that woman and why does she always have perfect hair and makeup while being waist deep in a swamp asleep

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    Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    pangolins
    Yeah those are just painted turtles

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    Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    bats
    Yeah those are just painted turtles

    no those are deffo alligator snapping turtles

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    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    weasels
    Don't vampire bat's numb the bite so animals don't notice? Seems like a pleasant way to go out. You'd just fall asleep once you lost enough blood.

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    weasels
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    bats would take for god dang ever, it would be the worst easily.

    also who the heck is that woman and why does she always have perfect hair and makeup while being waist deep in a swamp asleep

    Listen, if you aren’t cover ready at all times you’re asking for trouble.

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    NarbusNarbus Registered User regular
    edited July 2020
    weasels
    If you look closely at the second cover, with the pale skin, that dramatic lighting, and that frankly stunning widow's peak, dude is clearly himself already a dracula, which leads me to believe that is a family squabble and I prefer not to get stuck in the middle of those.

    Narbus on
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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    weasels
    The guy in the last one looks like he was sloppily painting his fence red when those pangolin attacked.

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    PeasPeas Registered User regular
    edited July 2020
    TheStig wrote: »
    Don't vampire bat's numb the bite so animals don't notice? Seems like a pleasant way to go out. You'd just fall asleep once you lost enough blood.

    That kinda reminds me of the rats thing in Witcher 3, except you are awake and aware while everything is going down

    Peas on
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    Romanian My EscutcheonRomanian My Escutcheon Two of Forks Registered User regular
    giant turtles
    I figure turtles would take longer to kill you, so therefore the combination of a long, drawn-out demise with the futile hope of survival egging you on would be the most tortuous.

    [IMG][/img]
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    Romanian My EscutcheonRomanian My Escutcheon Two of Forks Registered User regular
    giant turtles
    Also: Turtles can live anywhere, but if you stumble into a cave full of bats, a warren full of weasels, and/or wherever pangolins live, and then piss them off to the point they jump your ass, you get what you deserve.

    [IMG][/img]
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    Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
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    TurksonTurkson Near the mountains of ColoradoRegistered User regular
    edited July 2020
    pangolins
    I voted for pangolins because they are my spirit animal.

    Turkson on
    oh h*ck
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    HeadCreepsHeadCreeps NOW IS THE TIME FOR DRINKING! Registered User regular
    Yeah those are just painted turtles

    Oh, those turtles are painted alright

    with your blood!

    vEaRQgH.png
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    SporkAndrewSporkAndrew Registered User, ClubPA regular
    weasels
    Turkson wrote: »
    I only voted for pangolins because they are my spirit animal.

    No, you only voted turtles because you identify with them strongly

    The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin
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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    weasels
    Fursona

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    DarmakDarmak RAGE vympyvvhyc vyctyvyRegistered User regular
    That dude totally punched the fuck out of that bat

    JtgVX0H.png
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    BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User, Moderator mod
    pangolins
    yeah it's good idea to purge "X is my spirit animal" from our lexicons

    BahamutZERO.gif
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    PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    50s men seemed weirdly obsessed/afraid of the idea of getting attacked by lots of small animals, just like 50s boys were really into gorillas for some reason

    bsghTZA.jpg

    The following magazine issue also has a story about being attacked by a horde of squealing creatures

    nN0dg6n.jpg

    It seems like each of these magazines needed a story about getting partially eaten

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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    weasels
    That magazine cover is depicting sexual assault!

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    PeasPeas Registered User regular
    edited July 2020
    I guess they were always depicted in water because the artist finds it a hassle to draw legs

    Peas on
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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    weasels
    Peas wrote: »
    I guess they were always depicted in water because the artist finds it a hassle to draw legs

    Rob Liefeld’s Dad was the cover artist.

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    Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    bats
    clearly the worst way

    k8l39ozhqacf.jpg

    chewed to death by santa

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    Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    weasels
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    clearly the worst way

    k8l39ozhqacf.jpg

    chewed to death by santa

    Ew, Gross.

    Notre Dame football

    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    weasels
    Ely Culbertson won so much poker.

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    PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    That magazine cover is depicting sexual assault!

    I honestly have no idea what is happening

    dude has a noose and the lady has winchester 94 and a very angry look

    none of it is good

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    Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    weasels
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    That magazine cover is depicting sexual assault!

    I honestly have no idea what is happening

    dude has a noose and the lady has winchester 94 and a very angry look

    none of it is good

    Presumably either

    A: the lady rescued the nooseman from being hanged and they are the run from a posse
    B: Nooseman has escaped a posse and it assaulting gungirl while a posse looks on in horror
    C: weasels ate your flesh and this all a fever delirium as you die slowly

    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
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    HeadCreepsHeadCreeps NOW IS THE TIME FOR DRINKING! Registered User regular
    One of the worst parts of fightin' all these mad beasts in the river is that ya gotta protect the dames while you're at it!

    vEaRQgH.png
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    JuggernutJuggernut Registered User regular
    Its obviously depicting The Dude Ranches where Pleasure-Mad Bachelor Girls Run Wild

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    JuggernutJuggernut Registered User regular
    Which, if that is real somebody needs to tell me you need to tell me right the fuck now

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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    weasels
    Juggernut wrote: »
    Which, if that is real somebody needs to tell me you need to tell me right the fuck now

    WHAT?!!!?

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    Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    weasels
    Juggernut wrote: »
    Its obviously depicting The Dude Ranches where Pleasure-Mad Bachelor Girls Run Wild

    No no that’s black day at concho

    Also wtf is concho

    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
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    PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Well, I think with that facial expression noose guy is most likely a bad person and the lady is going to get saved by the Lone Ranger

    Or it could also be he's the hero and he was about to get lynched and he's stopping lady outlaw before she can shoot his friend who's coming to rescue him

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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    weasels
    There are 4 color swapped cowboys coming up in the background

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    BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User, Moderator mod
    pangolins
    the fainted ladies are all cake-facsimiles to lure adventurous prey into the ambushes of the swarms of small animals

    BahamutZERO.gif
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    PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Juggernut wrote: »
    Which, if that is real somebody needs to tell me you need to tell me right the fuck now

    Does it specifically have to be a dude ranch or

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