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How do you deal with retards?

ege02ege02 __BANNED USERS regular
edited May 2007 in Help / Advice Forum
Let me provide some details.

People in my neighborhood suck balls at parking their cars.

Most of the time two cars will be parked in a spot where three cars can easily fit. They'll either leave half a car's length of space between the cars to their back and front, or they'll park slightly diagonally to vertical parking spaces so you'll get ONE car blocking the space for THREE.

Cops don't seem to be doing anything about it, probably because most of the time it's not blatant.

But it has come to a point where I have to park my car two-three blocks away from my house. Pain in the ass when I have to carry seven grocery bags.

I need a solution.

At first I thought about writing on a piece of paper "learn to park, dumbass" and posting it on their driver's window. Then I figured that wouldn't be enough for most people, so I thought about keying their cars (although I would never do this. I think).

Seriously, if there is one thing that pisses me off more than people who can't drive, it's people who can't park right.

Ideas?

ege02 on

Posts

  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Put out traffic cones to make sure you have enough space to park your car.

    If you find that they have moved them, then you have reason to tell them in person what the problem is, although you already have every right to do this.

    DarkPrimus on
  • HooraydiationHooraydiation Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Leave a note saying, "Next time, I'll key your car."

    A compromise of two ideas!

    Hooraydiation on
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  • TaGuelleTaGuelle Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    get over it.

    TaGuelle on
  • desperaterobotsdesperaterobots perth, ausRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    TaGuelle, why did you bother posting that?

    I'd suggest a polite note on both of their windscreens, maybe a nice little diagram and an explanation that it means you have to walk a long way. Better yet, approach them in person and be as apologetic as you can for the interruption. You don't have all that unreasonable a position here after all.

    Although, if its the entire neighbourhood, and not just some people in your block of flats or something, this might be shitty advice.

    desperaterobots on
  • Chief1138Chief1138 Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Leave a note saying, "Next time, I'll key your car."

    A compromise of two ideas!
    TaGuelle wrote: »
    get over it.

    Wow, two retards in a row. Nice!

    The note idea sounds good. As for it not working, you'll never know until you try right? Most people will be surprisingly reasonable about this sort of thing if you have the balls to confront them about it. But don't assume they're just being dicks on purpose. Explain the situation calmly and if they don't respond then you can consider other options.

    Chief1138 on
  • JHunzJHunz Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Some of these people know exactly what they are doing, by the way, and are doing it specifically so nobody parks next to them. I know people who do this because they are "worried about their car".

    JHunz on
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  • DaedalusDaedalus Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    There are bumper stickers that you can buy in like a 20-pack that read "I PARK LIKE AN IDIOT".

    Of course, don't do that. It would be wrong. Or something.

    Anyway, your best bet is to ignore these people, unless they're coworkers or otherwise always the same person parking in two spaces, every day, where you need to park, in which case just berate them for their poor driving skills in person.

    Daedalus on
  • ViolentChemistryViolentChemistry __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    JHunz wrote: »
    Some of these people know exactly what they are doing, by the way, and are doing it specifically so nobody parks next to them. I know people who do this because they are "worried about their car".

    Or to protect "their" parking spots when one car is away. Basically, they're unlikely to stop, and if they refuse to there's nothing you can do about it but suck it up and maybe stop buying seven bags worth of groceries in a single trip.

    ViolentChemistry on
  • desperaterobotsdesperaterobots perth, ausRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Also, let their tyres down.

    desperaterobots on
  • TaGuelleTaGuelle Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Chief1138 wrote: »
    Leave a note saying, "Next time, I'll key your car."

    A compromise of two ideas!
    TaGuelle wrote: »
    get over it.

    Wow, two retards in a row. Nice!.


    What is this? This is a situation that can not possibly be resolved. There is no way you can affect a change such as the one he would like. If he has a pet peeve about people taking space to park, that is nice, but it is just a pet peeve and needs to be taken with a grain of salt. It sucks you got to walk two to three blocks sometimes but its just life. Stupid people are everywhere and no amount of effort will change that. The best thing you could possibly do is write to your local government to suggest drawing up lines in which one can park and all suggest draconian punishments for the breaking thereof.

    TaGuelle on
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    ege, I don't have a suggestion for you but I sympathize with how fucking infuriating that is.

    Feral on
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  • desperaterobotsdesperaterobots perth, ausRegistered User regular
    edited May 2007
    In the same vein, how do you deal with noisy neighbours?

    I mean, I have about 4 indian dudes living downstairs from me, and as is their custom (i suppose?) they fucking shout at each other all the time. I mean, they're not arguing, they just TALK REALLY LOUDLY. So loudly that I can hear it all the fucking time, especially after midnight when I'm trying to sleep.

    I tried to establish ground rules when it first bothered me enough to confront them, and I said I understood the place was not a library and that noise was okay, except after midnight they needed to tone it down. But I've been down there about 7 times, I've shouted at them when they were on their balcony at 1am shouting at each other, and I've called the police out twice. Last time the police came they actually told the policeman they should 'fix the walls'!

    Now, I'm moving out in a few months anyway, but is there anything you can do to discourage these assholes? I mean, really?

    desperaterobots on
  • Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Keep calling the police, they will eventually get the message.

    Blake T on
  • ViolentChemistryViolentChemistry __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    Blaket wrote: »
    Keep calling the police, they will eventually get the message.

    Assuming the police keep responding. It's not like double-parking is an emergency or anything. Also, continually calling the police rather than resolving matters directly tends to build resentment more often than actually resolve anything. My dad's wife calls the police every time her kids start talking back too much when she's drunk, and all it has accomplished is to make the police really hate my dad's wife, and make her kids even more hostile toward her.

    Edit: Also, guys, stop posting illegal advice. It's not like that rule went away or anything.

    ViolentChemistry on
  • SzechuanosaurusSzechuanosaurus Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2007
    Are these private, off-street parking spots or on-street parking?

    If the former, is there anybody who actually has jurisdiction over them? Is there a landlord that owns the building and parking or is there a tenants committee that deals with problems in and around the building?

    If it's on-street parking, are they formally marked parking spots or just bumper to bumper parking? If they are marked, are they controlled or are they just a suggestion?


    What I'm getting at here is, is there some presiding force (either private or government) who can formally reprimand the bad parkers? If yes, talk to them. If no, tough shit.


    And I do mean tough shit. You can try to politely talk to them if you happen upon one of them, but trying to enforce your own private laws with notes under wipers is just destined to get you into trouble. Unless they are regulated, people can park where the hell they want, how the hell they want. If they are regulated, report them to the regulating authority, don't try and deal with it yourself because you have no weight.


    PS Same goes for noisy neighbors. Politely ask them to shut the fuck up once and from then on report them to the landlord/police/anti-social behavior department.

    Szechuanosaurus on
  • MarathonMarathon Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    The best bet is to either talk to them directly when you see them parking like that or else just leave a note on their windshield explaining that when they park like that it makes it so you have to walk two blocks with an armful of groceries when you should not have to. Be nice about it, there is probably no way the police will do much of anything about it though.

    Marathon on
  • GrimmGrimm Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    Put out traffic cones to make sure you have enough space to park your car.

    If you find that they have moved them, then you have reason to tell them in person what the problem is, although you already have every right to do this.


    Isn't that illegal?

    Grimm on
  • Jimmy KingJimmy King Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Do you know who owns each car? I assume they are parking roughly in front of their own house along with yours, right? Why not just go ring the doorbell and politely ask them to move their car a bit when you've got a bunch of groceries to carry. I would think eventually they'd get the point and/or get tired of moving their cars for you.

    Jimmy King on
  • 3lwap03lwap0 Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Grimm wrote: »
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    Put out traffic cones to make sure you have enough space to park your car.

    If you find that they have moved them, then you have reason to tell them in person what the problem is, although you already have every right to do this.


    Isn't that illegal?

    It is considered quite common in certain areas, namely ones that get bad snow. Placing a chair, or road cones down in a freshly shoveled spot clearly tells others that this spot is saved for someone. I couldn't comment on the legality, but since this is an accepted practice for decades, I think it's kosher. The same principle should apply during non-winter months as well I would assume.

    3lwap0 on
  • embrikembrik Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Do you live in a big city? If so, consider calling the parking enforcement department. They may have a law/ordinance on the books that prohibits parking like this (may even be referred to as double-parking). At the very least, they might leave a warning or a small fine on the vehicles. They're also much more likely to both take this seriously, and likely to check back on another day.

    embrik on
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  • AsumaAsuma Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    embrik wrote: »
    Do you live in a big city? If so, consider calling the parking enforcement department. They may have a law/ordinance on the books that prohibits parking like this (may even be referred to as double-parking). At the very least, they might leave a warning or a small fine on the vehicles. They're also much more likely to both take this seriously, and likely to check back on another day.

    ++ Also, you might ask the city about marking stalls. Where I live parking is asstacularly bad - if you don't get home before 6 pm, you have a 4 block walk, adding 1 block every hour thereafter. The shitty parkers caused so much trouble the city painted horizontal stalls (parallel to the curb) and amazingly it worked.

    Asuma on
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  • ege02ege02 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    Well, then.

    Keying it is.

    ege02 on
  • apotheosapotheos Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2007
    3lwap0 wrote: »
    Grimm wrote: »
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    Put out traffic cones to make sure you have enough space to park your car.

    If you find that they have moved them, then you have reason to tell them in person what the problem is, although you already have every right to do this.


    Isn't that illegal?

    It is considered quite common in certain areas, namely ones that get bad snow. Placing a chair, or road cones down in a freshly shoveled spot clearly tells others that this spot is saved for someone. I couldn't comment on the legality, but since this is an accepted practice for decades, I think it's kosher. The same principle should apply during non-winter months as well I would assume.

    ...

    You can't reserve public parking. That's insane.

    apotheos on


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  • ViolentChemistryViolentChemistry __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    ege02 wrote: »
    Well, then.

    Keying it is.

    I don't think getting the shit kicked out of you and vandalism charges brought against you is going to stop these dudes from double-parking, cap'n.

    ViolentChemistry on
  • SeptusSeptus Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    ege02 wrote: »
    Well, then.

    Keying it is.

    I don't think getting the shit kicked out of you and vandalism charges brought against you is going to stop these dudes from double-parking, cap'n.

    Well...get the shit kicked out of him, and vandalism charges, as well as him bringing assault charges up against the person doing the shit-kicking?

    Septus on
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  • DaedalusDaedalus Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    apotheos wrote: »
    3lwap0 wrote: »
    Grimm wrote: »
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    Put out traffic cones to make sure you have enough space to park your car.

    If you find that they have moved them, then you have reason to tell them in person what the problem is, although you already have every right to do this.


    Isn't that illegal?

    It is considered quite common in certain areas, namely ones that get bad snow. Placing a chair, or road cones down in a freshly shoveled spot clearly tells others that this spot is saved for someone. I couldn't comment on the legality, but since this is an accepted practice for decades, I think it's kosher. The same principle should apply during non-winter months as well I would assume.

    ...

    You can't reserve public parking. That's insane.

    Man, if I spent a half hour shoveling out a parking spot, I goddamn better well get to park in it.

    Daedalus on
  • ViolentChemistryViolentChemistry __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    Septus wrote: »
    ege02 wrote: »
    Well, then.

    Keying it is.

    I don't think getting the shit kicked out of you and vandalism charges brought against you is going to stop these dudes from double-parking, cap'n.

    Well...get the shit kicked out of him, and vandalism charges, as well as him bringing assault charges up against the person doing the shit-kicking?

    If you are actually this retarded I'm going to leave your fate to pheezer. He craves souls, and yours is probably delicious.

    ViolentChemistry on
  • supabeastsupabeast Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    This is why we pay $165 a month for our parking space in an alley.

    supabeast on
  • ege02ege02 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    ege02 wrote: »
    Well, then.

    Keying it is.

    I don't think getting the shit kicked out of you and vandalism charges brought against you is going to stop these dudes from double-parking, cap'n.

    Vandalism charges imply they actually see me do it.

    As for getting the shit kicked out of me.... good luck to them with that.

    ege02 on
  • KyouguKyougu Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    ege02 wrote: »
    ege02 wrote: »
    Well, then.

    Keying it is.

    I don't think getting the shit kicked out of you and vandalism charges brought against you is going to stop these dudes from double-parking, cap'n.

    Vandalism charges imply they actually see me do it.

    As for getting the shit kicked out of me.... good luck to them with that.


    Dude, don't come in here and start a thread asking for advice, and ignore good suggestions in order to just do something illegal and stupid.

    Kyougu on
  • SzechuanosaurusSzechuanosaurus Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2007
    ege02 wrote: »
    ege02 wrote: »
    Well, then.

    Keying it is.

    I don't think getting the shit kicked out of you and vandalism charges brought against you is going to stop these dudes from double-parking, cap'n.

    Vandalism charges imply they actually see me do it.

    As for getting the shit kicked out of me.... good luck to them with that.

    Vandalising their cars isn't even likely to stop them doing it. They probably won't put two and two together, they'll just think it was some fucking asshole kid with a rod up his arse about being born into a middleclass family when all the cool rappers come from the ghetto.


    Oh, also, bad parking doesn't merit getting your car keyed. That costs a hell of a lot of money to repair and they aren't costing you any money. Keying their car makes you a lot worse than them.

    Szechuanosaurus on
  • Jimmy KingJimmy King Registered User regular
    edited May 2007
    Here, let me try this again since I can only assume it was not seen the first time as it is a far better idea than keying someone's car.

    Step 1) Knock on door of house owned by person who owns said car.
    step 2) When they answer say "Sir/Ma'am, I have a ton of groceries to carry from my car to my house and if you would be so kind as to move your car forward or backward a couple feet it would save me a goddamned fuckton of hassle."
    Step 3) Park car in front of your house instead of 2 blocks away unless the person is a complete asshole.

    Jimmy King on
  • ViolentChemistryViolentChemistry __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2007
    Keying their car makes you a lot worse than them.

    Newsflash! Ege is a dick. You can tell by the way he thinks H/A is a place for him to brag about crimes he plans to commit over stupid bullshit which will cost other people hundreds (or thousands, depending) of dollars. Thread over.

    ViolentChemistry on
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