I finally got a [Job] but still post here

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  • TefTef Registered User regular
    Most professional CV writers I have met are charlatans

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
    MrMonroeDisruptedCapitalist
  • OrcaOrca Registered User regular
    If you've got friends in the industry, I've found that's a great way to get a second pair of eyes on it.

    CelloInfidelDisruptedCapitalist
  • chr1sh4ll3ttb3chr1sh4ll3ttb3 A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    Tef wrote: »
    Most professional CV writers I have met are charlatans

    Do you know one that's not shit?

  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    bowen wrote: »
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    I remember we spent 25 minutes in class discussing what "yellow sound" meant and my brain checked out less than 8 seconds into the class period and I just thought about boobs the whole time.

    it's the pee sound obviously

    The pee is silent!

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    I'm 6'5" and no it ain't

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  • MechMantisMechMantis Registered User regular
    A is for Aisle
    B is for Bdellium
    C is for Czar

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    OrcaShadowfireGnome-Interruptus
  • Commander ZoomCommander Zoom Registered User regular
    TNTrooper wrote: »
    Fishman wrote: »
    I discovered Google Play Music has hit final end-of-life and deactivated itself on my phone as I jumped on the train for my morning commute.

    So now I've had to work all day without access to the 1000-odd mp3's that were on my phone 2 days ago.

    Not going to lie, those mp3 files are directly tied to my productivity in the office. Finding this afternoon a struggle today.

    They made duplicate version that is slightly shittier in every way on YouTube.

    "Google made a new version of [existing product/service] that is slightly shittier in every way" (and discontinued the original and forcibly migrated everyone over to the new one) is evergreen. Unfortunately.

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    Steam, Warframe: Megajoule
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  • CelloCello Registered User regular
    edited September 17
    Orca wrote: »
    If you've got friends in the industry, I've found that's a great way to get a second pair of eyes on it.

    Get a friend in industry and a friend who isn't at minimum

    Potentially HR won't have the technical background you and your industry friend have, so it's good to be sure it can be read by non-technical audiences

    If you go with a professional make sure they have experience and knowledge in your field because otherwise they could be an adventure

    Cello on
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  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    I'll play HR lemme see that resume

    *throws it away because I don't like your name*

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
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  • MechMantisMechMantis Registered User regular
    T is also for Tsar by the way

    dkj3oHf.jpg
    Kayne Red RobeElvenshae
  • Gabriel_PittGabriel_Pitt (effective against the Irish) Registered User regular
    I can't believe they skipped Tzeentch.

    BrainleechWeaverThegreatcowElvenshae
  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    TheStig wrote: »
    I'll play HR lemme see that resume

    *throws it away because I don't like your name*

    I'll play the application page. Lemme see
    ...
    Wait
    You also need to fill in these forms
    And these
    And what do you mean that info is on your resume

    tynicSporkAndrewchr1sh4ll3ttb3DisruptedCapitalistN1tSt4lkerTheStigTynnanL Ron HowardShadowfire3clipseKayne Red RobeElvenshaeTofystedethGnome-InterruptusJoolander
  • TefTef Registered User regular
    Tef wrote: »
    Most professional CV writers I have met are charlatans

    Do you know one that's not shit?

    @chr1sh4ll3ttb3 Manager Tools is the only one I recommend

    https://www.manager-tools.com/2020/04/covid-how-prepare-your-resume-your-resume-stinks

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
    chr1sh4ll3ttb3Calica
  • chr1sh4ll3ttb3chr1sh4ll3ttb3 A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    Aldo wrote: »
    TheStig wrote: »
    I'll play HR lemme see that resume

    *throws it away because I don't like your name*

    I'll play the application page. Lemme see
    ...
    Wait
    You also need to fill in these forms
    And these
    And what do you mean that info is on your resume

    Last job I applied for online I submitted my resume and cover letter, the next page was literally "re-write your cover letter in this text box, and re-write your whole resume in these boxes".
    I got halfway through and fucking gave up. If the company is THAT BAD at such basic shit, they're almost certainly a terrible company to work for.

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  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Unfortunately they almost all do that.

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  • PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Realtor Santa ClaritaRegistered User regular
    I applied to a place by sending in my resume, and got a response from their HR person that they wanted me to fill out an application and to come on in! I said, "All the relevant info for me is on my resume, if I also have to fill out an application, your system has unnecessary redundancies and that is a red flag for me."

    The next day the job listing removed the "send us a resume" thing and was just a link to the job application form, so I think I inadvertently helped them be less dumbo.

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  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    Unfortunately they almost all do that.

    Sad but true. I usually make sure I also send a copy of my good-looking resume or if I am invited to an interview I'll take a physical copy with me. I just hate how those text boxes don't allow any formatting.

    Also fucking hate those applications that allow for your LinkedIn to be used as a resume, and then don't give any options to leave out parts of my CV that would not be relevant to the position I'm applying for.

    DisruptedCapitalist
  • honoverehonovere Registered User regular
    edited September 17
    Generating the plan directory for the current project phase. Up to about 1800 plans so far. Maybe halfway done. Add to that all the plans from the external technical/specialist planners. Maybe at least 10k plans? Multiplied by I don't know how many indices everyone is going to produce. Have fun sifting and verifying that, client.

    honovere on
  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    Complicated online meeting etiquette question
    a few months before I left my old job I moved across to a new project (Mars, yay)
    I never technically left the project because there's some crossover between it and my new job so I'm basically folding the project into my current research
    but administratively and infrastructurally, I'm ignoring the hell out of it on the "never go to a meeting you don't have to" principle

    There's at least one meeting a week, they always email the weblink and a password, and I always trash the email immediately. But now ... now I need to ask them something. And I'm not even sure who to ask.
    I'm wondering how weird it would be to just sort of ... slide into the weekly meeting and act like I've always been there

    i figure if there's enough people on the call my thumbnail could have plausibly been bumped to the next page over for six months, right? that sounds likely

    A few options:
    1. Bulldozer - join the meeting and pre empty the meeting with your question. Bonus points if you immediately leave once you get your answer. You're an asshole and you don't care.
    2. The friend - reach out to a person on the team, expecting either an answer or "join our next meeting".
    3. The remora - join the meeting, then ask in the first dead space.

    2 and 3 are generally fine. 1 if you are out of fucks or they don't answer your stuff passive aggressively.

    AldoBlackDragon480tynicToxAistanSkeithElvenshaeTofystedethsarukunThe Escape GoatJaysonFour
  • NarbusNarbus Registered User regular
    Option 4: The Ventriloquist. Find someone else who attends the meeting and have them ask for you.
    Option 5: The Soap Opera. Just show back up holding a baby. If anyone asks about it later, act confused and say you don't have a baby, what are they talking about?
    Option 6: The Sauron. Show up looking A-M-A-Z-I-N-G, ask your question and then spend the next few months slowly corrupting the team and eventually attempt to overthrow them by forging a robot into which you pour all your malice, hate, spite and cruelty.
    Option 7: The Imposter. Find a friend who looks almost just like you, and have them attend the meeting, ask your question, then awkwardly start asking questions about Earth's defense systems.

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  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    Orca wrote: »
    If you've got friends in the industry, I've found that's a great way to get a second pair of eyes on it.

    I didn't know I was supposed to put eyes on my resume let alone a second set of them, where does one get eyes?

    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
  • Goose!Goose! That's me, honey Show me the way home, honeyRegistered User regular
    MechMantis wrote: »
    A is for Aisle
    B is for Bdellium
    C is for Czar

    Elvenshae
  • stopgapstopgap Registered User regular
    I can't believe they skipped Tzeentch.

    Just as planned. ::steeples hands::

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  • Mc zanyMc zany Registered User regular
    Any of you ever get a professional to rewrite your resume?

    Look throught the job description and write down the keywords.
    Look through the company's website and try to grab their core values.
    Edit your CV to include as many keywords as you can squeeze in and gives examples of any values.
    Repeat for every job application.

    chr1sh4ll3ttb3ShadowfireGnome-Interruptus
  • QuidQuid I don't... what... hnnng Registered User regular
    “You got a car? Nice, what’d you get?”

    “A 2020 Challenger.”

    *internal screaming*

    “Oh. Neat.”

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  • KadithKadith Registered User regular
    lol at CenturyLink sending two separate notices

    first one: we're not auto-renewing contracts for a term period longer than 12 months.
    me: okay nbd
    2nd notice: we're automatically adding 5% every time we renew

    ...

  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    Quid wrote: »
    “You got a car? Nice, what’d you get?”

    “A 2020 Challenger.”

    *internal screaming*

    “Oh. Neat.”

    vc8pfpum9lkj.jpg

    ElTL7ou.jpg
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  • QuidQuid I don't... what... hnnng Registered User regular
    Joke's on you Weaver this boot is an E-5

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  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    To be fair I knew a lot of dumb E-5s that only got there by sucking up to the right people.

    ElTL7ou.jpg
    BlackDragon480
  • QuidQuid I don't... what... hnnng Registered User regular
    Fortunately not how Navy advancement works at that level for the most part.

  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    Oh I'm sure it doesn't work that way in the army anymore either, but back during the first year or two after 9/11 it was pretty easy to get your stripes with having to pass the board and PLDC(as it was called then) being deferred.

    ElTL7ou.jpg
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    To link back to work related discussion, the most NCO I've ever felt was yesterday when I had to tell a nearly 50 year old man that the reason the vacuum motor was burning out was the huge rock he had tried to vacuum over and got wedged up in the brush bar. He tried to vacuum up a giant rock and then had no idea why the motor was burning out.

    ElTL7ou.jpg
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  • DoodmannDoodmann Registered User regular
    Gatsby would be a good way to teach a lesson about how symbolism can be helpful for picking up themes and subtext but isn't actually as important as the text.

    Whippy wrote: »
    nope nope nope nope abort abort talk about anime
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  • DisruptedCapitalistDisruptedCapitalist screaming Registered User regular
    Hey job thread, I got my jab.

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  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    Narbus wrote: »
    Option 4: The Ventriloquist. Find someone else who attends the meeting and have them ask for you.
    Option 5: The Soap Opera. Just show back up holding a baby. If anyone asks about it later, act confused and say you don't have a baby, what are they talking about?
    Option 6: The Sauron. Show up looking A-M-A-Z-I-N-G, ask your question and then spend the next few months slowly corrupting the team and eventually attempt to overthrow them by forging a robot into which you pour all your malice, hate, spite and cruelty.
    Option 7: The Imposter. Find a friend who looks almost just like you, and have them attend the meeting, ask your question, then awkwardly start asking questions about Earth's defense systems.

    Option 8: The Tech Inept: Join the meeting and mention how hard you had been trying to get connected for the last X months, before you finally determined that it was sun spots activity and the increased solar radiation degrading your wireless signal so you wrapped your router in foil after building a directional antennae for the thing and now you're finally able to get connected. And, by the way, I have a quick question you might be able to answer...

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
    Elvenshae
  • LuvTheMonkeyLuvTheMonkey High Sierra Serenade Registered User regular
    Hey job thread, I got my jab.

    Was it a jab job??? Or a job jab????

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  • Gabriel_PittGabriel_Pitt (effective against the Irish) Registered User regular
    Weaver wrote: »
    Quid wrote: »
    “You got a car? Nice, what’d you get?”

    “A 2020 Challenger.”

    *internal screaming*

    “Oh. Neat.”

    vc8pfpum9lkj.jpg

    Jeebus cheese and rice, how old am I that I was staring at the thing next to the red bull wondering 'wtf is that?'* and asking 'okay, there's the chew, but where are the cigarettes?'

    *now I feel compelled to go looking for someone deriding the E-3s and their vape pens. "In my day, we lit things on fire and stuck them in our mouths like men.'

    Gnome-Interruptus
  • DisruptedCapitalistDisruptedCapitalist screaming Registered User regular
  • webguy20webguy20 I spend too much time on the Internet Registered User regular
    Weaver wrote: »
    Quid wrote: »
    “You got a car? Nice, what’d you get?”

    “A 2020 Challenger.”

    *internal screaming*

    “Oh. Neat.”

    vc8pfpum9lkj.jpg

    Jeebus cheese and rice, how old am I that I was staring at the thing next to the red bull wondering 'wtf is that?'* and asking 'okay, there's the chew, but where are the cigarettes?'

    *now I feel compelled to go looking for someone deriding the E-3s and their vape pens. "In my day, we lit things on fire and stuck them in our mouths like men.'

    Except for getting married this was my buddy to a T. It was 2001 though so he bought a sweet Firebird and a bunch of silk shirts with dragons on them.

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  • mxmarksmxmarks Registered User regular
    Just venting quick because I have no other outlet.

    My job has mandated that despite the building being closed, we must have a full crew, on site, every day for 8 hours "just in case" the higher ups want to "test something" - since we work in A/V and theyve been asking for things remotely that have to be tinkered with in the building to get working. Previously we were just always on call and had to run in maybe 3 times a week for an hour when they had a request - and now my boss has decided HE can look better by making sure no one has to wait for us to arrive on site if they have a request, if we're on site standing by.

    We've been at this a week now and its obviously dangerous and unnecessary to have people just sit next to each other, bored, for 8 hours a day. Theyve also KEPT the mask mandate, but stopped providing PPE so we bring our own masks from home.

    Anyway with all that said, I spoke up at our last team meeting that I'm disappointed our bosses aren't fighting for us, insisting that a small inconvenience of having to wait 30 minutes for us to arrive on site is worth it for our overall health and safety, and that we really should not be sitting in close quarters together for 8 hours a day for absolutely no reason in a pandemic.

    No one else said anything and nothing has changed and I'm here at work, and the 70 year old man I work with just popped in to ask me if I "was still being a baby, crying." and that I should stop trying to get out of working.

    I BROUGHT IT UP BECAUSE I DONT WANT YOU TO DIE, DUDE. FUCK. LITERALLY, YOU ARE THE PERSON I WAS THINKING ABOUT WHEN I SAID THIS IS A BAD IDEA.

    I give up.

    PSN: mxmarks - WiiU: mxmarks - twitter: @ MikesPS4 - twitch.tv/mxmarks - "Yes, mxmarks is the King of Queens" - Unbreakable Vow
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  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    webguy20 wrote: »
    Weaver wrote: »
    Quid wrote: »
    “You got a car? Nice, what’d you get?”

    “A 2020 Challenger.”

    *internal screaming*

    “Oh. Neat.”

    vc8pfpum9lkj.jpg

    Jeebus cheese and rice, how old am I that I was staring at the thing next to the red bull wondering 'wtf is that?'* and asking 'okay, there's the chew, but where are the cigarettes?'

    *now I feel compelled to go looking for someone deriding the E-3s and their vape pens. "In my day, we lit things on fire and stuck them in our mouths like men.'

    Except for getting married this was my buddy to a T. It was 2001 though so he bought a sweet Firebird and a bunch of silk shirts with dragons on them.

    I had a $12k signing bonus for going 11B, so my first duty assignment being north of the river in Korea probably saved me from making so many new troop mistakes.

    ElTL7ou.jpg
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