So, I was running my dnd game for friends last night and the local tavern had some jobs on the board and one was from a guild of artisans looking for discrete adventurers.
They went to this Union Dwarven Mining operation I set up early in the campaign and I had the dwarves reroute them to a nearby workshop and there a group of magewrights was making a shield guardian. They had invested 1000g in mats but before they could tether it to the amulet it started acting out and attacking things, so they kept it in the workshop and sent out the help request.
The artisan is like, cool, you guys have slain a bunch of stuff, but these materials are expensive. Please just try to subdue it so we can fix it. If you do, 500g for your hard work.
They are guided through the workshop and tell the artisan to wait outside as they size up this shield guardian.
It's CR 8 to 3 level 7 pcs. The party wizard has like 4 plans. The first one? Dispel magic.
Initiative. Dispel magic doesn't work? I routinely have my players think dispel magic will just highlight and delete anything of magic. No, I reiterate. Now it is angry.
The dwarf ranger casts gust of wind. The warlock casts hex strength. This shield guardian is cartoon flung across the floor to the far wall like a carnival ride.
The wizard tries hypnotic pattern. At this point, it's incapacitated. The pixie inside playing around doesn't like her toy not working and dispel magics the hypnotic pattern and hex. The party has no idea a pixie is in the helmet. They have abysmal passive perception.
The warlock and ranger continue bullying but not damaging this shield guardian. The wizard polymorphs into a rat. She crawls between the legs and torso. I remind the wizard player that a rat has 2 int, 1 hp, and that if unpolymorphed inside the golem she will have a bad time. It is not filled with wires, more cogs and gears. The rat crawls out the body and into the helm. At this point, I tell the wizard they see the giddy pixie playing with levers and giggling. The rat is out of movement. The turn ends.
The ranger webs the guardian to the wall. He yells for the artisan to enter, but his web has stuck the door closed. He makes a remark about not thinking things through.
The pixie casts sleep on the rat, who has 1 hp, after looking at it and saying, "awwww"
The party continues to bully the guardian. The dwarf eventually goes to unscrew the helmet. Thw warlock is potshotting at the head with eldritch blasts. The rat is fast asleep.
The warlock crits. At this point, his shot must either hit the pixie, who has 1 hp, or the rat, who has 1 hp. I ask him heads or tails. He guesses correctly. I ask him who he wants to hit. He tells me it's up to me. I roll for it. He eldritch blasts the rat. The rat becomes a human woman inside a helmet and begins to expand.
She grows in size as the pixie is pushed against her face and compacted into blood and guts against her Invincible style. She cannot expand to full size. She experiences the body horror of being a fetus sized person in this helmet while the dwarf unworks the helmet. With the pixie dead, the guardian is inert.
The original moral dilemma I had in mind, the artisan trying to imprison the pixie if he found her, was completely irrelevant. The wizard was grossed out, the other party members poked fun, and the artisan was relieved the machine was undamaged.
The trailer just dropped for the Barbarian in Baldur's Gate 3, and if this trailer is anything to go on the revised Player's Handbook might rename the Path of the Totem Warrior subclass to Path of the Wildheart.
+3
webguy20I spend too much time on the InternetRegistered Userregular
My party fought a Gibbering Mouther last night, and it was fun coming up with descriptions as it warped reality and started losing its connection to the material plane
"The portal looks like what 'crackle' would describe if it described light rather than sound"
"You hear voices inside your head like you're on an escalator on the London Underground and everybody on the opposite escalator is having conversations that sound really interesting but in languages you stopped studying at sixth form"
"The ground beneath you shimmers like you're trying to watch a scrambled TV channel, and you're unsure whether you're looking at a boob or a lovely blancmange on Bake Off"
"With the successful Arcana test you are able to conjugate one of the runes on the summoning circle, weakening the Mouther's power, and it starts shifting like you haven't tuned your radio properly"
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKCOmTsuV6Q
They went to this Union Dwarven Mining operation I set up early in the campaign and I had the dwarves reroute them to a nearby workshop and there a group of magewrights was making a shield guardian. They had invested 1000g in mats but before they could tether it to the amulet it started acting out and attacking things, so they kept it in the workshop and sent out the help request.
The artisan is like, cool, you guys have slain a bunch of stuff, but these materials are expensive. Please just try to subdue it so we can fix it. If you do, 500g for your hard work.
They are guided through the workshop and tell the artisan to wait outside as they size up this shield guardian.
It's CR 8 to 3 level 7 pcs. The party wizard has like 4 plans. The first one? Dispel magic.
Initiative. Dispel magic doesn't work? I routinely have my players think dispel magic will just highlight and delete anything of magic. No, I reiterate. Now it is angry.
The dwarf ranger casts gust of wind. The warlock casts hex strength. This shield guardian is cartoon flung across the floor to the far wall like a carnival ride.
The wizard tries hypnotic pattern. At this point, it's incapacitated. The pixie inside playing around doesn't like her toy not working and dispel magics the hypnotic pattern and hex. The party has no idea a pixie is in the helmet. They have abysmal passive perception.
The warlock and ranger continue bullying but not damaging this shield guardian. The wizard polymorphs into a rat. She crawls between the legs and torso. I remind the wizard player that a rat has 2 int, 1 hp, and that if unpolymorphed inside the golem she will have a bad time. It is not filled with wires, more cogs and gears. The rat crawls out the body and into the helm. At this point, I tell the wizard they see the giddy pixie playing with levers and giggling. The rat is out of movement. The turn ends.
The ranger webs the guardian to the wall. He yells for the artisan to enter, but his web has stuck the door closed. He makes a remark about not thinking things through.
The pixie casts sleep on the rat, who has 1 hp, after looking at it and saying, "awwww"
The party continues to bully the guardian. The dwarf eventually goes to unscrew the helmet. Thw warlock is potshotting at the head with eldritch blasts. The rat is fast asleep.
The warlock crits. At this point, his shot must either hit the pixie, who has 1 hp, or the rat, who has 1 hp. I ask him heads or tails. He guesses correctly. I ask him who he wants to hit. He tells me it's up to me. I roll for it. He eldritch blasts the rat. The rat becomes a human woman inside a helmet and begins to expand.
She grows in size as the pixie is pushed against her face and compacted into blood and guts against her Invincible style. She cannot expand to full size. She experiences the body horror of being a fetus sized person in this helmet while the dwarf unworks the helmet. With the pixie dead, the guardian is inert.
The original moral dilemma I had in mind, the artisan trying to imprison the pixie if he found her, was completely irrelevant. The wizard was grossed out, the other party members poked fun, and the artisan was relieved the machine was undamaged.
DnD is a hell of a game.
Thats pretty much Q from Star Trek TNG. Unlimited cosmic power? Lets fuck with Picard for a bit.
Origin ID: Discgolfer27
Untappd ID: Discgolfer1981
Origin ID: Discgolfer27
Untappd ID: Discgolfer1981
"The portal looks like what 'crackle' would describe if it described light rather than sound"
"You hear voices inside your head like you're on an escalator on the London Underground and everybody on the opposite escalator is having conversations that sound really interesting but in languages you stopped studying at sixth form"
"The ground beneath you shimmers like you're trying to watch a scrambled TV channel, and you're unsure whether you're looking at a boob or a lovely blancmange on Bake Off"
"With the successful Arcana test you are able to conjugate one of the runes on the summoning circle, weakening the Mouther's power, and it starts shifting like you haven't tuned your radio properly"